Falls the Shadow (Sparrow Falls Book 2)

by Justine Sebastian

  “Dude,” Mooncricket said, voice nearly lost from behind the heavy door.

  For the first time since this mess started, Tobias smiled. “Mooncricket then,” he whispered as he walked away, intent on finishing the rest of his business.

  Tobias stepped through the front door and into the brightening morning. To anyone looking, they would have thought they were seeing things. One second he was there and the next he wasn’t, even though the front door swung shut on silent hinges. Another moment later and the grass rustled softly as a small, but strong contained breeze whistled through it.

  Tobias got Helen settled in at the funeral home and told her to take it easy on Mr. Greene for a little while, no matter how much she might want to announce her presence. She agreed, said she’d take it slow and then they went to tell Gary he was going to be having company for the foreseeable future. He was as displeased as Tobias and Helen had suspected he would be, but then he seemed to suck it up and tried to make an effort. As Tobias left, he heard Gary asking Helen if she had ever read A Fine & Private Place by Peter S. Beagle. He said he thought that would be fantastic. Helen informed him he was being inappropriate and Tobias laughed as he walked out the door to Lenore who was patiently waiting for him.

  “Can you actually talk?” Tobias asked her as he stood invisible in the hot morning light.

  “Only if you’re willing to listen,” Lenore answered, her voice a scratching croak, but yes, distinctly feminine, Tobias decided.

  He jumped when she spoke though and turned to look at her. “I didn’t really think—”

  “I’ve been talking all this time,” she said. “You just didn’t quite have the right ears to hear me with yet. That is all and—” She made that harsh, ratcheting sound he took for her laughter then finished, “—nothing more. Paraphrasing, of course.” She cocked her head. “You actually understood more than you thought, if you must know. More than I thought you would.”

  “Jesus,” Tobias said. In a night and day full of unbelievable things, this was taking the cake.

  “I don’t see what he’s got to do with any of this,” Lenore huffed. “Crazy man out in the desert eating strange plants. Bit of a hippie, really, nice enough though.”

  Tobias’s mouth fell open and Lenore’s beak parted in what passed for a smile on a crow.

  “Oh, I’ve seen some things,” she said. “And so’ve you. Right now it’s just power and remembering that. Give it a while though and all the rest will be there, too.”

  “Even Jesus?”

  “Indeed,” Lenore said. She ruffled her feathers. “Just not the way you think.” She looked left, looked right, then back at Tobias again. “Shall we be off then?”

  “Lead the way,” Tobias said. He felt numb from surprise, the crow really could talk; she could talk.

  “Work to be done,” she said, flapping around his head, a reminder that woolgathering was for later.

  Tobias nodded and followed her up-up-up into the bright blue summer sky.

  He spent the rest of the day moving the poppies and sending the wraiths back to the realm they belonged to. They moaned and sighed their thanks, kissing him with their burning cold mouths once each in turn before departing to go back to the work they’d been ripped away from. He went through the house next, heart a thick lump in his throat as he touched the walls, breathed in the same air Jeremy had such a short time ago.

  “I will miss you forever,” Tobias said. “Even if you are part of me now.”

  It wasn’t the same carrying Jeremy inside of him, but it was all he could do. Inside his mind there came a soft sigh, content if a touch sad. It’s all I ever wanted anyway. The voice was no more than a whisper of winter wind in Tobias’s head, there was room enough for Jeremy in there without the risk of it getting crowded. It was one of the perks of being a god, Tobias supposed.

  “What I did to you though,” Tobias said. “All those years, all those lives, all of that pain and misery.”

  I forgive you.

  Tobias wept then, unable to accept that forgiveness even if it was a relief to be granted it. He walked through the rooms of Jeremy’s house, took a painting, a couple of art quilts and a few sketchbooks. He found the stash of heroin Jeremy had kept and took it to keep Mooncricket from getting sick. On the kitchen table there was a drawing done in ballpoint pen of Mooncricket eating a heart and Tobias took that as well. He thought Mooncricket would want it. When he was done, Tobias set the barn on fire using gasoline siphoned from the tank of Jeremy’s car. Tears still wet on his face, Tobias flew away from the former home of Jeremy Harris, ignoring the sounds of the mad, sentient grass inside screaming as the fire ate it alive.

  It took Tobias three days and immense pain to figure out how to hide his wings and solid black eyes from people. For the first time since going to work at Greene’s Funeral Home, he had to call in sick. In between his efforts at appearing human again, he was kept busy fending Dawn Marie off because she couldn’t seem to stop stroking his feathers. It tickled, but it also felt nice; it was a highly distracting sensation.

  She had cried when she woke up and clung to Tobias’s neck, tears turning his skin slippery. Dawn Marie didn’t ask him a lot of questions, not then, just said, “Thank you, Toby. Thank you so much.”

  He hadn’t needed thanks, he would save Dawn Marie for as long as he could because he couldn’t imagine doing anything else. When she was calm enough again, he told her what he could bring himself to and then let her know Mooncricket was currently a guest in their house, albeit a sad and reluctant one. Tobias had the idea that Mooncricket hated him—or almost hated him—and though he understood his reasons, Tobias wished it hadn’t come to that. Mooncricket was one of the few people he’d ever met who wasn’t afraid of him; such things were rare and they mattered to Tobias.

  At night, he stood in the bathroom and talked to Hylas through the mirror. Sometimes they just talked, other times they put their heads together, Hylas trying to help Tobias figure out how to hide his wings. At least they did that until Hylas could no longer bear the sight of Tobias’s pain when he tried to draw them into himself again. On the third night, sick from the pain and on the verge of cutting his wings off entirely so he could stay in the human world without drawing attention to himself, Tobias found the answer he’d been looking for. It was a simple one, too: All he had to do was wish them away. They’d always be there whenever he wanted or needed them, but until then all it took was a mere thought and the weight of them faded from his shoulders. Some of the weight was still there, a phantom pull on his back, but a lot of it was gone. The wings hadn’t vanished entirely; they’d only faded out of sight at Tobias’s behest. His eyes were easily taken care of in the same manner. After a little while spent sitting in his office feeling like an utter moron, Tobias went into the bathroom to tell—show—Hylas the good news.

  The next day, Tobias took Mooncricket back to New Orleans and his mother who was waiting for him outside of a sunny little café in the Marigny. In a couple of days, Mooncricket would be flying to Oregon to attend yet another rehabilitation facility where he would hopefully get the monkey off his back once and for all.

  “I still miss him,” Mooncricket said before he got out of the car. “I loved him, like, a lot, you know?”

  I know, Jeremy said inside Tobias’s head. He was almost always silent, barely noticed by Tobias, so when he spoke, he jumped and stepped on the brake reflexively. Tell him… tell him it was really nice to be loved by him.

  Tobias did as Jeremy asked and Mooncricket jerked, twisting around in his seat to stare right at Tobias. “What?”

  Tobias repeated himself and Mooncricket’s eyes filled with tears. “He said that to me not long before he… before you… before— How’d you know that?”

  “He told me,” Tobias said.

  Mooncricket didn’t argue with him; he’d spent several days watching Tobias walk around with black wings. He’d flown on his back so close to the stars he could almost touch them. When Tobias sa
id Jeremy had told him something, it was not a stretch to believe it.

  “He says—” Tobias cut himself off. “He asked me to do something.”

  “What?”

  Tobias didn’t answer, just leaned across the console and kissed Mooncricket. “Goodbye, my little Mooncricket,” Tobias breathed against Mooncricket’s lips, speaking in Jeremy’s voice.

  “Oh, man, fuck,” Mooncricket sobbed. Mooncricket stared at him, looking into Tobias’s eyes to see Jeremy. “Jeremy? Jeremy, I’m sorry. I miss you.”

  “Shh,” Jeremy soothed, using Tobias’s mouth because he let him.

  “All right,” Mooncricket said. “I’m gonna… I gotta…” He sobbed again and clenched the envelope with his face drawn on it close to his chest. “Jeremy, I don’t wanna—”

  “Go on now,” Jeremy said. “Your mama’s waiting on you.”

  “All right,” Mooncricket said. “All right.” He opened the door, but stopped to look back at Tobias—to see Jeremy one last time. “Bye, Jeremy.”

  “Goodbye,” Jeremy said. When Tobias smiled, it was the one that had belonged to Jeremy.

  “This so messed up,” Mooncricket said, still hesitating.

  He laid his hand on Mooncricket’s cheek and said, “Have a great life, sweetheart. You deserve it.”

  Then Tobias blinked and Jeremy was gone like he’d never been there at all.

  “I agree,” Tobias said. “Have the best life you can, Mooncricket.”

  “Thanks, man. Really, thank you. I dunno how you do that crazy, freaky shit, but it… that meant… Everything.” He took a watery breath, gave a quick nod and said, “I’m outta here before I go totally nutshit.” Mooncricket swiped at his face then stumbled out of the car without telling Tobias goodbye. He slammed the door behind him and took one shaky step toward his mother.

  Then she called to him, “Tristan! Oh, my baby, come here to me!” It was all he needed to run to her then and throw himself into her open arms, crying with heartbreaking ferocity.

  “And off we go,” Tobias said as he put his car in gear.

  “We should stop by City Park,” Lenore said, hopping up from the backseat to take her rightful place beside Tobias. “I have family there. They’d love to meet you, they would.”

  “Fine,” Tobias said. “That’s fine.”

  After spending most of the day in City Park being fawned all over by Lenore and her kin, Tobias went home. In front of the gate was a truly massive black dog, sitting straight up as though on sentry duty. When it saw Tobias, the dog licked its lips and its tail thumped the pavement.

  “Who are you?” Tobias asked as he got out of the car.

  The dog was wearing a thick, blue webbed collar with a silver I.D. tag shaped like a star and a rabies tag hanging from it. The front of the I.D. tag read “My name is Barghest.” The back read “If lost, please return to Jeremy Harris.” There was a phone number at the bottom.

  “So you’ve come home,” Tobias said to Barghest. The dog stared back, dark brown eyes sparking with intelligence a bit too uncanny for a mere dog.

  “You know what he is, don’t you?” Lenore asked as she perched on Tobias’s shoulder, also studying Barghest. “Black dog. Harbinger of—”

  “Death,” Tobias finished for her. “Of course.”

  “He was just a dog once, I’d bet you that, but that boy of yours did so like to fiddle around with things he should’ve left alone,” Lenore said.

  “He seems harmless enough.” Tobias held his hand out to Barghest and the dog licked his fingers.

  “Aye, right up until you set him on a task, he is,” Lenore said.

  “Until I set him on a task?”

  “That’s what I said, ain’t it?” Lenore asked. “Agents of death are your area, my dear.”

  “I didn’t do this to him though,” Tobias said.

  “But he is yours to command now that his master is gone,” Lenore said. “The boy was confused, didn’t know any better; the dog wouldn’t have worked for him even if he’d wanted him to. He did what he did to this dog because of the power of it, not because he wanted to set him on anyone. Your Jeremy did the killing all on his own.”

  “I know,” Tobias said, thinking of all the lives lost to Jeremy’s sick crusade to find him. He scratched Barghest’s head with a sigh. “Come on then, Barghest. Welcome to your new home.”

  Barghest chuffed at him then went to sit patiently by the back door of the car until Tobias let him in. As he drove through the gate, Tobias smiled a bit and met Barghest’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “I think Wesley might just love you.”

  Barghest wagged his tail then lay down on the backseat, so large his hind paws hung down into the foot well.

  A week later, Tobias was eating dinner with Dawn Marie when she set her fork aside and said, “I need to ask you something.”

  “So ask,” Tobias said.

  “Why did you stay here even after you found out you’re not, well, human?” she asked.

  Tobias had many reasons, really, but mostly it was, “Because I like it here. I like being human or at least on the human plane. It’s nice here.”

  “Is that all?” she asked.

  “Mostly so,” Tobias said.

  Dawn Marie nodded and went back to picking at her food, stopping every once in a while to rub at the scar on her neck. She dropped her fork again a few minutes later though and said, “Toby, do you… I mean… Fuck. Look, I have to ask because I’ve wondered on and off for years.”

  “What would that be?” Tobias asked.

  “Do you… do you have, uh… feelings for me?” she asked. She raised her hands quickly and added, “It’s okay if you do, I’m not going to freak out or anything, I just… I had to ask.”

  I have loved you since you sat down next to me on the school bus with your skinned knees and braided pigtails, Tobias wanted to say. I’ve loved you every day of our lives together and I don’t think I will ever stop even though it hurts me to do it. I love you the way I once loved a boy who lived near the banks of the Euphrates and I will not damn you for my own heart.

  “It’s no bother,” Tobias said. He kept his tone calm as could be. “I love you, I do, but I assure you my affection is entirely platonic.”

  “Oh,” Dawn Marie said. She glanced down at her plate and for an instant Tobias thought he saw disappointment dance across her features. When she glanced up again, she grinned. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you, I just really wanted to know if I was in your spank-bank or not. That would be weird, right?”

  “Very,” Tobias said with a laugh that was more relief than amusement. He could have told her and it might have worked out, but being loved by him was in its own way hell and he wouldn’t consign her to that misery. He knew now that it was selfish and cruel to love a human being, not to give it, but to have it returned. It had a way of warping people out of true, of corrupting them and breaking things that should have remained whole.

  They finished dinner and Dawn Marie did the dishes. When she was done, she said, “Drinks in the courtyard, m’lord?”

  “Why, I do say, that sounds like a cherry idea,” Tobias said, playing along.

  It was worth being a little ridiculous just to hear the sound of her laughter echoing through the room.

  Two nights later, Tobias awoke with a jerk, an idea sharp as broken glass cutting through him as he got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. The dream shore where Hylas lived was bright with undying moonlight and he stood on the beach, looking out at the crashing waves of the dream sea. When he heard Tobias enter the bathroom, Hylas turned away and walked toward him, stopping only when he was so close his nose was almost against the partition.

  “Hey,” Hylas said. “What’s up?”

  Tobias stared, mind working in overdrive as he curled and uncurled his fingers by his side.

  “Um… You are being weird,” Hylas said. “What the fuck, Tobias?”

  Tobias’s bones throbbed with a pulse that was not his own and he knew he co
uld do it. If he really wanted to, he could do damn near anything.

  “And death shall have no dominion,” Tobias whispered then he lunged forward before he could lose his nerve.

  Hylas let out a startled squawk of surprise as Tobias’s hands slid through the glass like it was only air. On Tobias’s side of the mirror, it cracked though, crazed lines running in zig-zags from around the entry points of Tobias’s arms.

  “Give me your hands,” Tobias said.

  Hylas didn’t question him or hesitate, he did as he asked, grip strong when he latched onto Tobias.

  With a mighty yank, Tobias pulled Hylas from the mirror and into the very solid reality of his bathroom. He came with a yell and the sound of shattering glass. They fell back, stumbling across the bathroom to slam into the opposite wall as the mirror exploded, shards and slivers of glass peppering them, slicing their skin.

  Even before the glass stopped trembling in their flesh, on the floor, the countertop, Hylas began to dim. Hypnos had never been as close to the mortal plane as his brother; his was the realm of sleep and dreams and ephemeral things. He could remain on this plane as long as he wanted—and Hylas no doubt would have figured out the way to do so eventually for he loved the human world—but he wouldn’t be much more than a ghost unless he walked through peoples’ dreams.

  Except there was something Tobias could do to fix that.

  “I have something that belongs to you,” Tobias said.

  Before Hylas could open his mouth to ask what, Tobias pressed his lips to his and breathed deep into Hylas’s chest. He had held his dying body that terrible night and without even meaning to, he truly had taken and kept Hylas’s last heartbeat. Now he gave it back.

  Hylas gasped and spluttered, holding onto Tobias’s upper arms as his heart shuddered back to life in his chest with a mighty thud then began to beat again, grounding him. When Tobias pulled back, his brother was as solid as he was, alive and absolutely whole again; both a part of the mortal plane and the realm they had inhabited once.

  “Holy shit,” Hylas said around a whooping laugh.

  Tobias wiped a hand over his mouth. “You kissed me.”