Hold Me Close: BWWM Romance (Brothers From Money Book 6)

by Shanade White

  Jewel clung to him and moved against him with a desperation that matched his own!

  *****

  He picked her up from the store at a quarter to two. She had gotten one of her mother’s friends to mind the store for her without going into details as to why she needed her help. He looked at her briefly as he came out and opened the door for her to get in, and then went back around to the driver’s seat, pulling the white corvette from the curb. “How are you?” he asked her.

  “I am fine; just a little bit queasy,” she told him. After he had left last night she had been unable to sleep, feeling him inside her and his mouth on hers.

  “I am sorry for that.” He told her quietly.

  “It comes with the territory.” She told him with a little smile.

  “Do you want my baby?” he asked her suddenly, giving her a brief look.

  “What?’ she looked at him startled wondering where the question had come from.

  “After all we put you through, I was wondering if you wanted to have anything to do with the McIntyre name.” his hand had tightened on the steering wheel.

  “I will love my baby no matter what name it has, Jordan.” She said softly.

  “Somehow that does not make me feel any better.” He said with a brief laugh.

  “I did not say it to make you feel better or worse. I just said it.”

  “I know.”

  They continued the rest of the way in silence. They were ushered right in to see Dr. Livingstone, a fairly young female doctor who knew the McIntyre’s very well, but who didn’t?

  She asked the questions and was told of the miscarriage several years ago after which she did the examination. “You are indeed pregnant, Jewel.” She said with a smile. “Congratulations,” she said to both of them. “I am going to give you something for the queasiness and some vitamins to help your body get accustomed to the child growing inside you. I want you to make an appointment to see me in the next month and a half.”

  “Thank you, doctor,” Jordan spoke for the first time. “Will the –“ he cleared his throat. “The miscarriage she had before will it affect the child growing inside her now?”

  “No,” the doctor told him. “She has been sufficiently healed for her to carry this baby to full term.”

  He took her hand as they left the doctor’s office and went to the car. It was almost three thirty and she wanted to get back to the store. “You are carrying my child. I can’t tell you how I feel,” he turned towards her in the car, his hand resting on the steering wheel and the other near to her on her seat. “I want to be a part of my child’s life in every way possible.”

  “You will be.” She assured him. “I just cannot promise more than that right now Jordan, please understand.”

  “I am trying to,” he told her before turning back to start up the car. “I just cannot deal with it right now. I want to be able to take you in my arms and go to my place and make love to you all day and talk about our child, but I cannot and it kills me that I can’t even do that.” He slammed his hand against the wheel, causing her to jump. “Don’t be afraid of me, please don’t! That’s something I would never forgive myself for,”

  She reached out and touched his face, seeing the look of torture there and felt her heart constrict. She never wanted to cause him pain, but there was something inside her that could not forget the horror she had been through. She needed to deal with that aspect first of all. “I would never be afraid of you.” She told him softly, resting her palm against the roughness of his strong jaw. “You never gave me a reason to.”

  He placed his hand against hers and closed his eyes. Then with a gentle movement he removed her hand and drove out of the lot.

  He dropped her off at the store and told her that he would call her later. “How about dinner?” he asked her quietly.

  She was just about to say no when she saw the hopeful look on his face. “Okay, that sounds fine.”

  “Good,” he nodded, a smile lighting up his handsome face as he drove away.

  *****

  “Can’t you be happy for me?” She had finally told her friends everything. It had been three days since she had been to the doctor and had had dinner with Jordan at a restaurant of his choice. She had had to forego the rest of the meal because her stomach had been acting up. He had been so gentle with her that she had wanted to cry.

  “You could have told us you were seeing him again.” Jaclyn told her in an accusatory tone. They were at her apartment when she had called and told them that she had something to tell them.

  “He came back to confront me after you reamed him out in that restaurant.” Jewel told her with a little smile.

  “Damn straight I did!” Jaclyn said, folding her long legs underneath her on the bed. “To his credit, he had never heard that you had been pregnant let alone had a miscarriage. The poor man looked as if I had ripped his freaking heart out!”

  “What I don’t get is how that crow of a mother could do something like that to her own son,” Savannah asked, as she propped herself on the pillows against the headboard.

  “I guess she thought she was protecting her son.” Jewel offered.

  “From whom?” Jaclyn asked dryly. “Now he knows who he needs protecting from.”

  Chapter 5

  “I want you to come to the house with me and I would like you to spend the night.” Jordan’s voice was quiet, a little short from pleading. She was four months pregnant now and the doctor had assured them that the baby was healthy. She had told her mother and she had asked her if she wanted her to come and be with her.

  “No, mom I am fine. Jordan is here and Jaclyn and Savannah are getting on my nerves with their coddling.” She told her mother.

  “So where do you stand with each other?” she asked.

  “We are just seeing each other. He takes me to every doctor’s appointment and buys every fruit and vegetable imaginable for me to eat healthy, but that is it right now. I am not ready for anything more.” Jewel said.

  “I am sure he wants more, honey.” Her mother had said gently.

  “I can’t give him more right now.”

  “No,” she told him, her tone decisive.

  “I know it’s painful for you to come to my place Jewel, but I need to be with you,” he said, trying not to sound exasperated. He needed to give her time and he had been trying to do so. He had finally told his mother and she had been inquiring about her, wondering if Jewel would forgive her before the baby was born.

  “So be with me at my apartment.” She was at the bookstore and had been serving a customer when he called. She had glanced outside and discovered that it had started snowing again. She had spent Christmas with her friends and the night with him. He had wanted her to spend it over at his place but she had refused. He had come over, making love to her until the morning and holding her against him while they slept.

  “How long are you going to keep punishing me for, Jewel?” he asked her quietly. She handed the package to the lady with a smile and sat behind the cash register.

  “I am not punishing you Jordan, but you know how I feel about coming over there.” She told him.

  “Would it help if I get myself an apartment?” he asked her suddenly.

  “I would never ask you to do that,” she told him hastily.

  “Damn it Jewel! At least meet me halfway here.” He said his voice rife with frustration.

  “Okay Jordan, you can pick me up later.” She told him with a sigh.

  “Will you be spending the night?” he asked, his voice hopeful.

  “Don’t push it, Jordan.” She warned him.

  “I am not letting you go Jewel,” he told her. She had a feeling he was not just talking about tonight.

  “I am beginning to realize that.” She told him dryly.

  She replaced the receiver, her expression thoughtful. She still loved him, that had never and would never change, but she was being cautious. She had been through too much to just forget about it like that. She
could see that he was trying but she was not ready to go all the way yet.

  “Excuse me, do you have this title?” a petite blonde passed her a paper with the name of a book written on it.

  Jewel read the title and looked up at her with a smile. “It so happens that we do.” She indicated for her to follow her.

  *****

  Jordan sat in the boardroom and listened to the various reports. McIntyre and Company was a very diversified company and was involved in technology, pharmaceuticals, real estate and even shipping. He had discovered that his father had even bought several hairdressing salons which belonged to a certain lady by the name of Sally. He had dug a little deeper and had also found out that his so called stellar father, who did not tolerate anyone with the skin color darker than his, had been seeing this Sally, (who was as dark as a bar of chocolate) for years before his death. McIntyre still hold the title on the hairdressing salons even though her name was on it.

  He had gone to visit her one afternoon to find out just how involved his father had been.

  “Would you like some coffee?” the woman had asked him politely, her nervousness showing in the way she clasped her hands together. She was an attractive woman with shoulder length black hair and large dark brown eyes.

  “No thank you,” he had told her.

  “I suppose you want to find out the nature of the relationship between your father and I before his death?” she sat down on the deep couch opposite to him.

  “I already know you were his mistress Ms. Catheters, but what I want to know is why?” he had told her bluntly. “You are not exactly my father’s type.”

  She smiled a little bit and looked down at her clasped hands. “I used to do your mother’s hair. He came by one afternoon to pick her up and we sort of connected. At first he wanted to know how lucrative the business was and how much money could be made. You know your father,” she told him briefly.

  “I am afraid I do.”

  “Then it turned into something else. I knew about his prejudice towards people of color and even though he tried to hide it, it always showed.” She caught his eyes. “I fell in love with him in spite of myself and I was even pregnant from him at one point.” She looked away towards the far corner of the room.

  “What happened?” Jordan leaned forward, but he was afraid he already knew the answer.

  “He made me get rid of it,” she bit down on her lip to stop it from trembling and Jordan felt every ounce of respect he had had for his father drain away. “He said it would not do for him to have a colored child and he was such a respectable man in town.”

  “And yet you stayed with him” Jordan’s voice was grim.

  “I don’t expect you to understand,” she had tears in her eyes and somehow she reminded him of Jewel, his Jewel. “I love him and did not want to lose him so I did what he asked and he showered me with gifts. That was when he bought the chain of salons for me, maybe to compensate for what he made me do.”

  “Was it worth it?”

  “I will never be able to have another child now and he is dead. I have nothing of his to remind me of him, so the answer is no. If I had been a stronger woman I would have told him no and damn the consequences.”

  “You were up against the most powerful man in the town so I doubt you would have won.” Jordan reassured her.

  Sally looked at him gratefully. “You are nothing like him.” she said with a soft smile.

  “I should hope not.” Jordan said firmly. “The color of a person’s skin had never meant anything to me, only to my parents. The only woman I have ever loved is African American and has no money.”

  “He told me about that.” Sally stared at him. “He also told me there was no way he was going to allow his only child to marry a ‘negro’; forgetting that he was sleeping with one every night.” She shook her head in disbelief. “He told me I was the exception.”

  “And you believed him?” Jordan asked watching her face. It was a lucky thing he was dead or there would have been some serious confrontations.

  “Of course not, but I played along. The sad and pathetic thing is that I still love him and I would spend my nights spinning the fantasy that he would discover he could not live without me and he would come and be with me.” She said sadly.

  “My father never really loved anyone that much,” Jordan told her dryly. “If it’s any consolation he never really loved my mother either.”

  He gave her the title to the businesses and told her it was all hers.

  “I wish you all the best, you and your young lady,” she told him as he made towards the door. “She is very fortunate to have someone like you.”

  “I am the fortunate one,” he told her briefly before leaving.

  *****

  “What would you like to eat?” he asked her as they were in the car going to his place. She had told him that she was too tired to go and sit in a restaurant. She just wanted to stretch her feet out and relax.

  “You are going to cook?” she asked him, turning her head to look at him. He looked so handsome in his dark blue cashmere sweater over his light blue shirt and red tie and even though he had tried to tame his hair, there was still tendrils drifting onto his forehead that the wind had tousled.

  “I could order take out. The chef has probably turned in for the night, or I could cook macaroni and cheese.”

  “You don’t cook, Jordan,” she reminded him with a laugh remembering him telling her that he had tried to cook an omelet and had almost burnt the place down.

  “You are right, so take out it is.” He told her with a smile.

  He felt her hesitation as soon as he turned the car into the circular driveway. The place was massive and the house sat on several acres of land that led up to a small hill where they had sneaked there to be with each other. One time he had sneaked her inside the house and into his bedroom and they had made love on his bed two times.

  “It’s different now.” He told her quietly. February had dumped some snow on the grounds but the place looked immaculate and she could see the greenhouse which was his mother’s pride and joy in the far corner. She also knew that there was a huge pear shaped swimming pool, a tennis court and a basket ball court and a large cottage that was supposed to be the helpers’ quarters.

  “I know,” she told him briefly as she walked with him towards his suite.

  His bedroom and the sitting area had been redecorated and looked masculine but tasteful at the same time, with muted browns and faded red. They went into the living room where there was a fire burning in the large fireplace.

  He ordered Chinese food and they were having it in the dining room when there was a discreet knock on the door. He stood up with a frown wondering why one of the servants would be bothering him at this time of the night.

  He opened the door to discover to his consternation that it was his mother. Ever since he had discovered about her part in what he and Jewel had been through, he had been barely civil with her. “Not a good time, mother,” he told her coolly.

  “I know darling I just wanted to say hi to Jewel and to tell her how happy I am for you and her.” Caroline said in a chastened voice. She had seen them walking across the grounds and just wanted to say something to the girl who meant so much to her son.

  “Not now-“Jordan started to say but Jewel interrupted him.

  “It’s okay Jordan.” She had come up behind him without him noticing. “Would you like to eat with us, Mrs. McIntyre?”

  She stared at the girl and how gracious she was and nodded. “Thank you.” She came in and noticed how Jordan reached for Jewel’s hand as if to protect her.

  They sat down and Jordan shared a plate for his mother. “I understand you are already four months along,” she said hesitantly, not sure what to say.

  “Yes I am. I have stopped feeling so queasy.” She said smiling politely.

  She realized that Jordan was not saying a word, probably waiting for her to make one wrong move so he could tell her to go.


  “When I was pregnant with Jordan I ate like a horse and nothing upset me.” She said with a laugh, looking at her son who did not even look at her. He was looking at Jewel instead and Caroline realized now more than ever, how much he loved her, and the extent of what she had done to both of them.

  “I will leave you two to finish your dinner.” She pushed back her chair and got ready to leave.

  “No stay, please. Jordan and I don’t mind.” Jewel looked towards him for confirmation but he avoided her eyes.

  “That’s okay Jewel, another time perhaps.” She said sadly and made for the door.

  Jewel sent a furious stare towards Jordan and went after the woman. “I am sorry for Jordan’s behavior.” She got to her as she reached the end of the hallway.

  “I understand why he is like that. I did a terrible thing and he is not able to forgive me yet.” She paused with her hand on the beautiful curved banister. “I just hope he will come around so that I will be a part of my grandchild’s life.”

  “I am sure he will,” Jewel told her, feeling the anger towards her starting to drain away.

  “Thanks.” She smiled briefly and went back to her suite.

  *****

  “Save it!” he said between his teeth as soon as she came back into the room. He was clearing the table and heading towards the kitchen.

  “Save what? The fact that you were very rude to your mother?” she asked him angrily following him into the large ultra modern kitchen.

  “So you are suddenly on her side now?” he asked her cynically, dumping the plates in the sink.

  “I am not on anyone’s side Jordan, but you could at least be civil.”

  “I can’t!” he cried out turning his back on her. “She was part of destroying the most important part of my life. Now I am trying desperately to get it back, and I feel as if I am failing.”