If I Trust You (If You Come Back To Me #4)

by BETH KERY

  He shouldn’t do it. Things were getting out of hand. It would make things messy when what he most needed in this venture was objectivity.

  She parted her lips.

  To hell with objectivity.

  He seized her mouth with his own.

  He urged her to lie on her back on the couch and came down over her, never breaking their kiss. His blood rushed hot and fast through his veins. One thing existed in the universe for him at that moment, and for once, it wasn’t his drive to make a shrewd business decision.

  Only Deidre mattered—only that, and the overwhelming need to lose himself in her.

  Chapter Four

  He pressed kisses along the top of her sweater-covered breasts while she raked her fingers through his hair. Her touch drove him crazy. There was too much clothing separating them. He reached for the bottom of her sweater, pausing when he heard Deidre whimper. He let the material fall from his hand at the poignant sound.

  He lifted his head, spearing her with his stare.

  “What is it?”

  “I can’t, Nick,” she whispered. “It’s not right. You don’t trust me.”

  It was on the tip of his tongue to deny it, to say his trust in her grew the more time he spent with her. He stopped himself when he realized how it would sound if he uttered those words.

  She’d think he was saying it just to get her into bed.

  He cursed under his breath and sat up. It felt like ripping off his own skin to separate himself from her warm, soft, supple body. He clamped his eyes shut and raked his fingers through his hair.

  “You don’t trust me either,” he muttered. “It was a mistake not to spend more time with you while Linc was still alive.”

  “You were busy. And when you were at The Pines, I wouldn’t let you spend time with me,” she said as she sat up. Her low, smoky voice seduced him all over again. He glanced back at her, sorely tempted to touch her again...to draw her close. Her eyes looked huge in her delicate face. She wrapped her arms beneath her breasts, hugging herself. He was reminded of her vulnerability.

  “Will you let me now?” he asked. “For more than just tonight?”

  Her serious expression cut at him a little. “I’ll try,” she whispered, her eyes never leaving his face.

  “Thank you for a nice night.”

  She nodded once. “Thank you for the Christmas tree and photos.”

  He was having difficulty pulling his gaze off her face.

  “I don’t want to dislike you,” she said with sudden earnestness. “It doesn’t seem right. Especially now that I’m starting to understand how much you meant to Lincoln.”

  He closed his eyes and glanced away.

  “Nick?” she whispered.

  “Yeah,” he muttered, inhaling deeply and willing his boiling blood to cool.

  “That company, Vivicor? Do you really think it’s important that you—we—move fast on the purchase?”

  He glanced back at her in surprise. “Yes.”

  She looked hesitant. “If you think it’s a good business decision, I’ll do whatever you want me to do to make the deal happen. I don’t want to hold back progress in Lincoln’s company.”

  A silence ensued. She seemed hesitant in meeting his stare. “Are you sure, Deidre?”

  She nodded, although she looked far from certain to him. “Because I don’t want you ever thinking that what happened just now—” he waved at the couch they’d come close to incinerating with sudden, blazing need “—had anything to do with me getting your agreement for the Vivicor purchase or DuBois Enterprises or the will.”

  “I don’t think that.” Her expression didn’t entirely convince him that what she said was true, though.

  He sighed and rubbed his eyes with his fingers. The thought struck him that there was a good chance family members had warned her against him, advised her not to sign anything he requested, and here she was, offering to do just that. No wonder she looked so uncertain. He couldn’t say he blamed her.

  But damn it, he did need her consent for the deal.

  “Why don’t you give me your phone number and we’ll get together tomorrow afternoon and go over things in more detail. You can make your decision about Vivicor then,” he said, standing. They walked to the kitchen, and he donned his coat. She stood watching him, the flush of arousal on her cheeks a stark contrast to the paleness of the rest of her skin. He fought down another surge of desire to take her into his arms again.

  “Trust takes time, Deidre.”

  “I know that,” she said quickly.

  “I mean in the literal sense, not just the figurative. The more time we spend with each other, the more comfortable we’ll be.”

  “As business partners?”

  “As any kind of partner.”

  He touched her cheek before he opened the front door, and experienced the strangest mixture of triumph and utter defeat as he walked into the frigid December night.

  * * *

  Deidre couldn’t sleep. So much had changed between Nick and her that night, it was a challenge to wrap her mind around it all. The memories of the evening that made her most restless were of that kiss—the way Nick’s mouth felt moving over hers, his taste, his lean, solid body pressed against hers, his heat...

  She finally fell asleep just before dawn. When she awoke to the jarring sound of the alarm, all of her doubts and uncertainties were there, ready to pounce on her. She rose, wishing she hadn’t promised Colleen and Eric she’d help out at the Family Center today. She was exhausted. For more days in a row now than she could recall, she put an extra scoop of coffee in her morning brew.

  She’d responded wholeheartedly to Nick’s touch, she admitted to herself bemusedly as she showered. She’d known there was a spark of attraction between them, but their suspicion of one another and the strange circumstances had made it necessary to suppress that spark. Attraction was one thing, but the degree of heat Nick and she had generated when they touched was unprecedented, at least in Deidre’s experience. She’d been one kiss, one stroke, one plea away from going to bed with Nick Malone, of all people.

  Surely she was behaving predictably, falling for such an attractive, powerful man. Most women would have adored spending an evening with him, basking in his attention and blossoming beneath his masterful kiss. Problem was, Deidre wasn’t most women. And the situation between them was far from common.

  Bizarre, more like it.

  Had she made the wrong choice, allowing him into her life?

  No clear-cut answer came to her soul-searching, and she finally resolved to live with the uncertainty. Of course it hadn’t been wrong to consent to the Vivicor acquisition when Nick—a brilliant businessman—endorsed it wholeheartedly.

  He’d been right about the issue of trust. It would come if it was meant to come, but in its own time.

  Work and the familiar routine of her nursing duties acted as a godsend to her stormy spirit. She enjoyed Colleen’s tour of the Family Center and working with Eric on intake exams. Afterward, she drove through Harbor Town, feeling reflective.

  She drove past Sutter Park, seeing the town’s festive Christmas tree and the kids ice-skating in the outdoor rink. It wasn’t a familiar sight to her. Liam and Colleen had been full-time Harbor Towners for a period of time in their youth, attending high school there following Derry’s death. Marc and Deidre, however, had spent only their childhood summers in the picturesque lakeside community. Maybe being there in the wintertime was partially responsible for this discordant feeling she possessed, like she was returning home, but also a stranger in Harbor Town.

  Her mother wanted this to be a homecoming. Deidre had lost count of the number of calls she’d left unanswered from Brigit Kavanaugh. Maybe their mother-daughter rift was responsible for her present feeling of nostalgia and lo
ss.

  Wanting to snap herself out of her gloomy mood, Deidre parked at the Starling Hotel. Marc, Mari and Riley were leaving later that afternoon for Chicago. She’d already said her goodbyes yesterday, but seeing her brother and his family one more time would be a dose of good medicine.

  She walked along the plush carpet, her attention fracturing when she heard a man speak from one of half a dozen private alcoves branching off the luxurious main lobby of the hotel. She came to an abrupt halt, recognizing the voice.

  Nick sat in an armed, wingback chair that angled away from Deidre as she approached, his long, jean-covered legs sprawled before him. Deidre could only see him in partial profile. She walked toward him, excitement and anxiety at the unexpected encounter making her heart thud rapidly.

  “The important thing is that she’s seeing the importance of being more cooperative. No, we won’t get any of those results for a week or more,” he said.

  Deidre paused in her silent tread on the plush carpet, realizing his cell phone was pressed to his ear and that he was in the middle of a conversation. She hesitated, preparing to retrace her steps to give him privacy.

  “You’re not going to get them to speed up the results any, John. Confidentiality is crucial in the health care field,” Nick said.

  John. He must be speaking to John Kellerman, DuBois Enterprises’s chief legal officer, she thought as she eased backward. Kellerman had never tried to disguise his contempt for Deidre.

  “I told you yesterday where I stand on the matter. I’ve witnessed nothing so far to even hint she had any part in coercing him to change his will.”

  Deidre stopped dead in her tracks. Nick was talking about her.

  “According to her, she had no idea Linc had plans to alter his will,” he said, then paused, listening. He straightened in the chair. “I’ll do what’s best for DuBois Enterprises. You know that... No, I’m the one who has to be satisfied, John. Not you. I’m the one whose interest and shares were decreased by the new will. As the injured party, I’m the only one who can legally contest the will, if it should ever come to that,” Nick said, his voice quiet but sleety with anger. He paused. “I recognize it might not have been the wisest choice Lincoln could have made for the company. Lincoln’s state of mind when he changed the will is a separate issue from whether or not Deidre Kavanaugh is truly his daughter and whether or not she had any part in manipulating him to change his will in her favor. I’m inclined to doubt the latter. We’ll just have to wait for the lab results. As for the rest, I’m not certain what to think yet.”

  A man and a woman passed in the lobby behind her conversing loudly. Deidre hardly noticed as she listened to Nick talk about her as coolly as he might the daily stock market news.

  “No. Deidre told me the name of the facility. GenLabs, in Carson City,” Nick said.

  Deidre inhaled sharply. Nick sat forward abruptly, his gaze latching on her. She turned and rushed toward the lobby exit.

  “Deidre...wait!”

  She ignored his command and hurried toward the front doors, stumbling when she crashed into a man entering the lobby while talking on his cell phone. She mumbled an apology and soared out of the hotel toward the parking lot. Just before she slammed her car door shut, she heard Nick call out to her again. She ignored him, her brain awash with anxiety over what she’d just heard.

  By adding me to his will, Lincoln cut Nick’s inheritance? she thought numbly. Nick had just mentioned the genetic testing to Nick Kellerman so coldly, as though something that had become crucially important to her very identity was a business factoid to be shared and bartered.

  She’d made a mistake by being honest with him. Thank goodness she hadn’t yet broken her word to Marc and signed anything at Nick’s request. By the time she pulled into Cedar Cottage’s drive, her heart was beating a rapid, furious tempo against her breastbone. She sat gripping the wheel for half a minute after she shut off the car, trying to calm herself, willing the queasiness in her belly to diminish. Again, her appetite had been poor this morning, and now she was paying for it. She opened the car door, gulping in the cold, fresh air coming off the lake.

  “Deidre.”

  She swayed next to her car, glancing back. Nick was getting out of his sedan. She’d been so disoriented she hadn’t noticed him pull in behind her. He was coatless, and his expression was tense.

  He slammed his car door shut and stalked toward her. Something volatile felt like it was going to explode from her chest. She raced through the yard and up the front steps of Cedar Cottage, nearly making it to her front door when Nick caught her elbow. She spun around and yanked at her arm, but he held firm. Words burst out of her throat like she’d been storing them under pressure.

  “I can’t believe you told him about the testing! I told you that in confidence.”

  “You never asked me to keep it a secret, Deidre,” Nick said, towering over her.

  She struggled to inhale. She felt like she’d been slugged back in that lobby and she was still recovering from that blow.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that Lincoln had cut your shares in DuBois and his inheritance to you when he included me in the will?”

  “I wasn’t trying to keep it from you,” he said, vapor from his breath billowing around his mouth. “I thought it would have been obvious, that I was previously his sole heir.”

  A tear of frustration and anger landed on her cheek, seeming to freeze against her skin. “A lot of things aren’t obvious to me, Nick. You’ve accused me in the past of taking advantage of Lincoln when he was vulnerable, and yet you have no problem at all doing the same to me. You know I don’t know very much about business. You know I’m...confused after everything that has happened to me in the past few months,” she said furiously. “I let down my guard to you last night, and you take the information and use it for your own means—”

  “Deidre—”

  “Get away from me, Nick,” she seethed, throwing off his hold and shoving her key in the lock. He grasped both of her shoulders at once in an iron-strong hold. She felt the pressure of his body against hers from behind.

  “I didn’t mean to upset you or betray a confidence,” he breathed out quietly from just above her left ear. She went still, shivering uncontrollably at the sensation of his chin brushing her hair as he spoke. “The fact of the matter is, the truth is going to come out as soon as you receive those test results. You weren’t planning on keeping the results secret, were you?”

  “No, of course not.” Her voice vibrated with anger, but she didn’t move away from him.

  “This is crucial information to me, as well as John Kellerman.”

  Deidre turned the key and plunged into the warm kitchen. She immediately headed toward the living room, sensing that Nick was behind her and wanting to escape. How could she have spilled her guts out to him last night? The only thing he cared about was that damn company and all the power and money that went with it. Lincoln meant so much more to her than that.

  He caught her and spun her around in his arms so quickly all her breath rushed out of her lungs.

  “You share control of DuBois Enterprises with me until any information comes to light that refutes that claim, Deidre.” He shook her gently, a look of profound frustration tightening his features. “You can’t claim to be Lincoln’s daughter and then insist there are no consequences to that claim. Of course I’m going to communicate certain essentials about your stance on being named as one of Lincoln’s heirs to John Kellerman.”

  “I heard what you said,” she said, horrified to feel tears spill down her cheek. “The only thing you care about is my cooperation. Your being here in Harbor Town, the Christmas tree, the photos, last night...all of it is just your way of getting what you want out of me. You’re using me.”

  “No. Didn’t I tell you what happened between us last night has got absolutely nothing
to do with DuBois Enterprises?” he grated out. He clamped his eyelids shut briefly and then focused on her again. “Damn it, Deidre, don’t you have the smallest inkling of the repercussions of Lincoln giving you half of the controlling interest of his company?”

  Doubt swamped her as she sensed the depth of his frustration, but she gave him a halfhearted glance of defiance. “I’ve told you I don’t care about DuBois Enterprises or Lincoln’s money. I just...wanted...a father.”

  His grasp on her upper arms tightened. He brought her closer to him, until she felt anchored by his stare. His fierce, gray eyes seemed to be the only thing keeping her from succumbing to a wave of dizziness. “Sometimes we don’t get precisely what we want, Deidre.”

  “You think I don’t know that?” she cried.

  “Sometimes we get less than we bargained for,” he continued as if she hadn’t spoken. He leaned down over her until their stares and their mouths were aligned just inches apart. “Sometimes we get more. That’s what you got. More. Do you have any idea how many people DuBois Enterprises employs?”

  She blinked at his unexpected, harsh question.

  “No,” she whispered.

  “Over sixty thousand employees across the world. Every single one of those people has family members who depend on them. DuBois itself is the customer for hundreds of other companies that also employ thousands of people. So while it’s real simple for you to brush off DuBois Enterprises as irrelevant, it’s not so easy for me and the hundreds of thousands of people that depend on it every single day of their lives to do the same.”

  His voice rang in her ears. She just stared at his rigid face, speechless.

  “I’m sorry if you thought I broke a confidence by telling John Kellerman you’d already had the genetic testing. I’m sorry that it wasn’t clear to you that I was previously Linc’s sole heir,” he said hoarsely. He leaned down until his forehead touched hers. Deidre’s breath burned in her lungs at the contact of his skin against hers. “I’m not trying to take advantage of you. It’s just that the circumstances here are a lot bigger than you or me.”