If I Trust You (If You Come Back To Me #4)

by BETH KERY

“Deidre,” he grated out when she took his length into her hand. She wondered anew at how hard and heavy his erection felt against her palm and stroking fingers. His eyes seemed alight with need as he watched her through narrowed lids. “This is how you treat a man when he tells you he’s hurting for you?”

  “It’s how I treat you,” she whispered back in a quiet challenge. She braced herself with her hands on his thighs. She slid between his legs until her knees hit the carpet.

  “Damn it, Deidre,” he groaned when she took him in her hand again. He combed his fingers through her hair and cradled the back of her skull, the gesture gentle and possessive at once. He halted her from leaning forward.

  She looked up at him, admiring the image of his lean, muscular torso between the opening of his white dress shirt, his tie draped around his shoulders. She recalled all too poignantly how she’d once considered him cold, relentless and calculating. He seemed the opposite of that in that moment. He seemed undone by desire, and she loved it.

  “I want to,” she told him, her lips moving but no sound coming from her mouth.

  His jaw tightened and his nostrils flared. “Far be it from me to stop you then. But I’m going to get you back later.”

  “I look forward to it,” she assured him before she leaned forward and tasted him.

  * * *

  A while later, Nick landed one last kiss along the softness of Deidre’s thigh and rose over her. She lay naked on the bed, her head on the pillows. He was glad he’d left the light on. He wouldn’t have wanted to miss the sublime expression on Deidre’s face at that moment for the world. He lightly licked her upper lip and tasted her sweat, letting it blend with the essence of her on his tongue.

  “So proud of yourself for getting back at me so well,” she murmured with a hint of a smile. He dipped his tongue between her lips and heard her soft moan of renewed arousal.

  Who had he been kidding? he wondered hazily as he plundered Deidre’s mouth and she responded so wholly, so sweetly...without an ounce of reservation. He’d thought he could maintain at least some level of objectivity when it came to her, but that had been before he’d tasted her...before he felt the perfection of her deepest embrace.

  This courageous, beautiful, wounded woman deserved only happiness, and he knew now he would never do anything to intentionally hurt her. But what if they discovered she wasn’t really Lincoln DuBois’s daughter? Would she blame him for the pain she felt if that were true? Would she blame him if he were honest with her about facts over which he had no control?

  She arched against him, her breasts pressing against his chest. He answered her need wordlessly, gritting his teeth as he entered her, feeling her muscles clench around him, drawing him deeper, urging him into the center of her heat. He thrust and watched her face through a narrowed gaze, unable to look away from the image of Deidre’s desire, of her acceptance of him.

  It’d slice him deep if she withdrew that acceptance.

  The thought of Deidre being alone in the world cut at him even worse.

  * * *

  The next morning was a gray, leaden day. Nick said he had a conference call with his San Francisco staff, so he rose and showered while Deidre snuggled in bed, missing his solid warmth. After Deidre had cleaned up, Nick lingered in the living room, sipping the coffee Deidre had made.

  “I thought you needed to make a call at nine-thirty,” Deidre reminded him.

  “I do,” he said, sitting down on the couch. “But I’ll give them a call and tell them I’m running a few minutes late.” He held out his arm and Deidre sat down next to him, her legs folded beneath her, her body curving into Nick’s embrace like a pea in a pod. To her, he looked—and smelled—every bit as wonderful as he had last night wearing his dark gray suit. This morning, he even had the added bonus of a slightly disreputable, sexy scruff on his jaw.

  “What are you grinning about?” he murmured, running his fingers through the still-damp hair at her nape. She shivered at his touch.

  “I was thinking you really look the part of a corporate cowboy this morning.”

  “Is that a bad or good thing?”

  “Oh...very good,” she assured him before their lips met in a kiss.

  “Do you want me to fill you in on what the meeting is about today? You can come and listen, if you like,” he said a moment later, his forehead pressed against hers. “It wouldn’t hurt for you to slowly start to absorb some of this stuff. It doesn’t mean you have to do anything with it, but knowledge is always good, right?” he added when he leaned back and noticed her bewilderment.

  “Right,” she admitted. “Why don’t you just fill me in?”

  She listened with a tight focus while Nick gave the names and job titles of the people he would meet with this morning. Each man or woman was the president of a major DuBois global unit or subsidiary company. Deidre realized he was trying to begin to convey to her the overall structure of DuBois Enterprises. It began to dawn on her just how vast the corporation was.

  “...real estate and development—Travis Moore, health and agricultural sciences—Emmit Chandis, media—Melanie Marcraft, and computer and space technology—Spencer Jones,” Deidre repeated back to him the major global units and their presidents a while later.

  “Perfect score,” Nick said before he checked his watch. “I really should get going. All the aforementioned people are going to be waiting for me.” He glanced back at her as he stood. “If you want to learn more about DuBois Enterprises in general, why don’t you just check things out on your laptop? The website has a pretty good overview.”

  Deidre stood along with him. “I know you’ll find this hard to believe, but I don’t own a laptap or iPad or anything remotely techy except for my cell phone.” She saw his slightly stunned expression and blushed. “See? What did I tell you? I’m the last person Lincoln should have ever considered to co-run his company. I’m a twenty-first-century dinosaur, according to Colleen.”

  “I don’t think a qualifier for the position is how many pieces of personal technology you own,” Nick said.

  “I should be getting the call pretty soon about the genetic testing,” she said quietly as he put on his coat, voicing a thought that had been haunting her all morning.

  His expression sobered. It was the first time since they’d become intimate with one another that they’d mentioned the genetic testing out loud.

  “Yeah. I know.”

  The moment felt strained. Deidre was confused. Nick’s faith in her seemed to be growing by the hour, but he still was worried about what they’d discover in regard to her paternity. The awkward silence proved that.

  He reached out suddenly and cradled the side of her head. “I have a surprise for you.”

  “Another one?” she asked, laughing, thankful he’d broken the tension.

  “It’s not a huge one. It’s really just an excuse for me to spend time with you this afternoon. Can I pick you up at around two?”

  “Yes,” she whispered, ensnared by his eyes.

  He kissed her softly and then deeply enough to make her toes curl in her slippers and her fingers grip at the lapel of his coat.

  The second the front door shut, she already missed him.

  * * *

  Deidre ate a late breakfast and took a call from her brother Marc. He had a recommendation for an attorney who specialized in estate law and contested wills.

  “His name is Mike Bonella, and he has a national reputation as being one of the best. Malone will know of him, and he won’t be so quick to try and take advantage of you if he knows you have Mike in your corner. Why don’t you give Mike a call? He’s very interested in speaking to you. Of course, in all honesty, there’s not an estate lawyer in the country who wouldn’t want to be retained for such a high-profile case,” Marc admitted wryly.

  The shell of euphoria surrou
nding Deidre after her night and morning with Nick started to crack at Marc’s words. Reality started to leak in.

  “Deidre? You okay?” Marc asked when she remained silent.

  “Yes, I’m fine.”

  “Has Malone been giving you a hard time?”

  “No, it’s not that at all, it’s just...” She bit her lower lip. Marc would kill her if she told him she’d been foolish enough to get romantically involved with Nick Malone. If she considered things from Marc’s perspective, she was behaving idiotically. “I should hear any day now about the genetic testing. I guess I’m just hesitant to call a lawyer and make any big plans when my life is so uncertain right now.”

  She heard her brother sigh. “Yeah, well I guess it couldn’t hurt to wait a couple days. Although I’d prefer you at least had Mike Bonella’s name behind you. Are you starting to get nervous? About the test results, I mean?”

  “Starting? My nerves have been fried since before I even went for the testing. It just gets worse every day.”

  “I can imagine,” Marc admitted.

  “It’s kind of stupid for me to be nervous, isn’t it? I mean...it’s not like Mom slept around. If she says my natural father was Lincoln DuBois, it was Lincoln DuBois, right?”

  “Right,” Marc said.

  “So how come I still feel so nervous?”

  “Probably because you know things will really start to get hairy when you discover for certain you are Lincoln’s biological child.”

  Deidre wrote down the information about the lawyer, feeling unsettled the whole time. Her night and morning with Nick was still too vibrant in her memory—still singing in her flesh. The phone call with Marc had interrupted her happiness and made her question her loyalties. She thought of how Nick had begun teaching her some of the basics about DuBois this morning and how he’d recommended she contact Abel Warren, Lincoln’s personal attorney. He was starting to support her, mentor her, even. But surely Nick would understand that she might need her own legal counsel, given the possibility of how things may unfold?

  She glanced down at the piece of paper with Mike Bonella’s number on it. If she ended up calling Bonella, it would be because Nick told her he was taking her to court. A sick, uneasy feeling grew in her stomach.

  She dressed in a scarlet sweater and tucked her black skinny jeans into her tie-up snow boots. She took time styling her hair and with her makeup, trying to distract herself from her anxiety. Afterward, she ran a few errands and stopped by Liam’s and Natalie’s house to collect their mail.

  Despite her eagerness to see Nick, nervousness started to twine with her anticipation as two o’clock approached. Her heart seemed to leap into her throat when she heard his car door slam in the driveway at a few minutes past two.

  “Hey,” he greeted when she opened the door and cold air rushed across her face.

  Seeing his tall, shadowed form against the brilliant backdrop of the sunny winter day and glistening blue lake brought back every detail of last night. The passionate connection they’d made was special, wasn’t it? Unique? It certainly had been in her experience.

  He’d changed into jeans and boots. He stepped toward her, taking her in his arms. She realized she’d been gaping at him like she hadn’t seen him in months instead of hours.

  “Hi,” she muttered, her gaze stuck on the dazzling sight of his dimples and sexy smile.

  “You can do better than that,” he murmured before he edged toward her, leaned down and kissed her. Deidre went up on her toes and improved her greeting enthusiastically. His grin was long gone by the time he lifted his head a moment later.

  “I’m already regretting this.”

  “What?” Deidre asked, alarm spiking through the sensual lassitude wrought by his kiss.

  He tilted his chin toward the driveway. “The plans I made. I’d much rather just take you back to bed.”

  “Why don’t you then?” she asked, grinning. The idea of them losing themselves in each other and keeping the rest of the world at bay for as long as they could sounded very, very appealing.

  His eyes were fixed on her mouth like he was considering taking another bite out of her, but then he was backing out of her arms. “I wish I could, but...well, come on. You’ll see. I hope you don’t kill me for it,” he added under his breath.

  “Nick, what are you talking about?” she asked, mystified by his behavior.

  “It’s a beautiful day—perfect for a tour of the area. Let’s go up.”

  “Up?”

  “Yeah. In my plane.”

  “Oh.”

  He smiled, obviously noticing her dubiousness. The flash of his white teeth took her off guard. As usual. He was usually so serious. When he smiled, she couldn’t look away from him.

  “I’m a good pilot. You can trust me.”

  “I do,” she said softly. “Let me get my coat.” She reached for her coat tree, but he reached it before her. She turned, and he slid it over her shoulders. A shiver went through her when he placed a kiss on her ear.

  “You look beautiful.”

  “Thanks,” she mumbled as she faced him, warmed by the heat of his stare.

  She took his proffered hand, locking and slamming the door behind her. When they reached the corner of the cottage, he tugged slightly on her hand as if to get her attention. She paused.

  “I meant well, Deidre,” Nick said quietly.

  “What?” Deidre asked, perplexed.

  “I had the best intentions,” he murmured. He nodded toward the driveway and spoke near Deidre’s ear. “It was just a chance happening. I ran into her on Main Street. I’d rather have you to myself, but I can’t take back the invitation now.”

  Deidre glanced toward Nick’s car and froze. Her mother sat in the passenger seat of his sedan.

  “I asked your mom to come up in the plane with us,” Nick said.

  * * *

  Nick watched Deidre’s face closely, seeing when the flicker of anxiety faded and was replaced by a beautiful mask. In the past, he’d been reminded of Joan of Arc when she leveled that fierce, cold, determined expression at him. Now, he was more struck by how quickly she donned the facade. How did she repress her anxiety so effortlessly?

  He urged her toward his car. He opened the passenger door and Brigit stepped out and warmly kissed her daughter on the cheek. Deidre grasped Brigit’s elbows as she stiffly returned the greeting.

  “No, Mom, I’ll get in the back,” Deidre insisted when Brigit started to get in the backseat.

  Deidre pointedly avoided his gaze when he opened the door for her. He suppressed his regret as he walked around to the driver’s side. Deidre may be irritated at his heavy-handedness in the short term, but he still thought trying to bridge the rift between mother and daughter was the right thing to do in the long run.

  “Well, this is certainly a surprise,” Deidre said as Nick backed out of the driveway. He briefly met Deidre’s eyes in the rearview mirror. Her frosty glance assured him this wasn’t the type of surprise she’d anticipated this morning when he’d mentioned it.

  “For me, too.” Brigit laughed. “I ran into Nick this morning as I was leaving Celino’s Bakery, and he asked me to join the two of you. I’ve never been up in a two-engine plane before. I suppose you have, Deidre?”

  “I’ve been in my share of fixed-wing military transports, but nothing as luxurious as a private plane.”

  “I’m a little nervous about the whole thing, but excited too,” Brigit said, twisting in her seat to see her daughter. In the rearview mirror, Nick noticed Deidre’s expression soften slightly as she met her mother’s glance. He took heart.

  It would have been so much nicer to be sharing this moment alone with Deidre, but he didn’t want to be selfish.

  The image of Linc’s letter—of his looping, at times unintelligi
ble scrawl—leapt into his mind’s eye. The letter had been heartbreaking in its simple, innocent plea. The letter had also worried Nick, as disorganized and childlike as the script had been. There was little doubt that Lincoln had loved Brigit Kavanaugh. He’d considered her the one and only true love of his life. He’d begged Nick to get to know Deidre better, to teach her about her legacy.

  It had been Linc’s insinuation that Deidre and he had an opportunity for a future together, one that had been denied to him and Brigit, that had truly alarmed him. Even if Linc had noticed his attraction to Deidre before he died, wasn’t that an odd thing for him to suggest—that two strangers could share the future that the woman he loved and he couldn’t?

  Nick had been blown away when he’d read that part of Linc’s letter. It underlined his worry that Linc hadn’t been in his right mind when he changed the will. The man Nick had known since he was a boy would never have done something so impulsive, nor would he have made such naive assumptions about Deidre and him.

  Nick had described to Deidre the carefree aspect of Linc’s personality that surfaced at Christmastime, but Linc was typically not a whimsical man. Nick couldn’t help but be worried that the change in Lincoln’s will was more the result of a dying man’s wish for a family than a rational, intelligent decision made with DuBois Enterprises and its thousands of employees in mind.

  He couldn’t tell Deidre that, though—couldn’t show her Linc’s letter. She’d jump to the conclusion it was her he doubted. He no longer even remotely suspected her of anything underhanded in her dealings with Lincoln. Deidre had truly been ignorant all this time of the identity of her suspected natural father. She’d only had Lincoln’s best interests at heart once she’d met him.

  He was certain of Deidre. But he was far from confident that Deidre wouldn’t equate his concern about the soundness of Linc’s decision-making at the end of his life with doubts about her character. Worse, she might think that his concerns about Lincoln’s state of mind in regard to the will dimmed Lincoln’s faith that she was his daughter.

  His ruminations were put on hold when they arrived at the small airport. He showed Deidre and her mother onto his Cessna and began his preflight check, glad to hear Deidre and Brigit exchanging polite conversation about the changes to the Harbor Town area. Deidre even laughed a time or two as Brigit reminded her of several childhood moments.