Slashes in the Snow : A Baum Squad novel

by M. Never

  Kira softens on top of me, her forehead resting against mine, her breaths choppy and limbs weakened. We stay connected this way until I carefully lie back down, keeping Kira securely fastened in my arms. Tonight, she isn’t going anywhere. Tonight, she’s mine.

  “How long do you think we’d get grounded for if our parents found out about us?” Kira asks adorably, and I bark out a laugh.

  “We’re adults. They have no grounds to punish us. Besides, no one tells me who I can fuck, especially my father.”

  FRIDAY HAS JUST BECOME my favorite day of the week. Kira has off on Fridays, minus the stupid study group I plan on making her ditch so I can keep her naked and in bed all day.

  “I’m starving.” She stretches like a cat as she wakes up.

  “I have something you can eat.” I pop my eyebrows at her.

  “You’re so crude,” she giggles, pushing me playfully.

  “Just honest.” I grin. “Besides, he’s a little jealous.”

  “Why is that?” she entertains me.

  “Because, he didn’t get to experience what that sexy little mouth can do.” I trace the end of my fingertip around her plump lips.

  “The day is still early.” She steals a kiss, then hops out of bed.

  “Hey.” I grab for her gloriously naked body. Damn, it gets me every time. “I’m only down for naked breakfast,” I protest as she covers herself with a loose tank top.

  “How about clothes for breakfast and skinny dipping for brunch?” she offers an alternative as she picks through one of her drawers for a pair of underwear.

  “More of you naked and wet? I could do that.” I try to play it cool. But let’s face it, inside I’m a savage salivating for more of Kira. More of her naked, more of her wet, and more of her mine.

  Breakfast consists of eggs, toast, orange juice, and coffee. And Kira sits exactly where I told her she would — on my lap.

  It was a good warmup for skinny dipping. We spent the morning just as promised, naked and wet, Kira showing off her crazy freediving skills.

  Holding her breath way longer than any human should.

  “That shit freaks me out,” I admit when she finally comes up for air.

  “It shouldn’t.” She grabs hold of my shoulders and kisses me playfully.

  Kira and I swim over to the tanning ledge, lie in the shallow water, and chill.

  “Why do you do it? I mean, why do you like it?”

  Kira stares off beyond the pool into the glistening ocean only yards away from us.

  “It’s my escape.”

  “From what?”

  “Life, I guess. I started doing it around thirteen. When things would get really bad with my dad. He was so mean to my mom. Mean. That’s what I called it back then before I understood the term abuse. He would yell, and break things, and then he would hit her. It was always the same pattern. We both knew when and how it was coming. She always protected me, though.” Kira doesn’t look directly at me once through the whole story, but I can still see the tears forming in her dark eyes, threatening to spill. “One day, I was desperate to escape, so I filled the tub and submerged myself under the water. Everything went quiet. That’s all I was after was quiet.” She sits up straighter, and the tears fall.

  “Kira. You don’t have to go on.”

  “Sorry.” She splashes her face with pool water.

  “Don’t be. I don’t want to send you on any trips down memory lane that are going to make you cry.”

  “I don’t usually get so emotional.” She smiles like she’s being silly, but seeing her so upset does something inexplicably crazy to me. It makes me feel homicidal. Maybe it’s a good thing Kira’s real dad is out of the country. If he wasn’t, I’d be making a phone call. Then a house call.

  “He never hurt you?”

  “Not physically, no. But he knew how to manipulate me. He knew what would upset me and push my buttons when he was in the mood. One time, he made me stay and watch while he hit her. He said if I left the room, he would kill her, and I believed him.”

  “Jesus, Kira, enough.” I put my arm around her and secure her close to my chest. “You don’t have to tell me anymore. I get the picture. I get the tattoos now, too.”

  “Into the sea. It’s my escape.”

  “You nearly gave me heart failure when you ‘escaped’ into the pool yesterday.”

  “I just needed to clear my mind. I had no idea you were watching me.”

  “I’m always watching you, Snow.” I press my lips to her head. “Even when I didn’t want to.”

  Kira tilts her face up, and I capture her chin. Then I deliver a kiss I didn’t know I was capable of. A kiss that’s strong and passionate, but also full of sincere emotion.

  “How ’bout I help you clear your head right now.” I skim my palm across her bare abdomen before heading farther south.

  Kira grabs my wrist. “As tempting as that sounds, I have to get ready for study group.”

  “Blow that shit off.” I press onward, reaching her clit just in the nick of time.

  “Mmm,” she moans as soon as I touch her, and I know I have her.

  “Ky, I can’t. Finals start next week. I have to show up.”

  At least, I thought I had her.

  “Finals?” I freeze.

  “Yeah, one more week and then you’ll finally be rid of me.” She pecks me on the cheek. Then she pulls herself out of the pool and runs inside buck naked.

  I watch her dumbfoundedly.

  In the past twenty-four hours, getting rid of her never crossed my mind.

  13

  Kira

  SEBASTIAN READS ALOUD, addressing the questions that may arise as we give our final group presentation. For Managerial Economics, our final consists of one-half written exam and one-half oral presentation.

  I try to concentrate, I really do, but all that seems to occupy my mind is Ky.

  I’m counting down the minutes I will be out of this place and back with him. I really can’t afford to be this distracted, but I just can’t help it. The last three weeks have been a volatile teen drama with a surprise twist ending. I’m still debating if it’s happy or not.

  Sebastian takes a hard left, as he usually does, going off on a heated tangent on ethical business tactics. I listen with one ear open, darkly wondering how unethical it is to sleep with your stepbrother. Your hot, rough, rugged, panty-ripping — I take my own hard left, fantasizing about Ky again, when Sebastian shatters my dirty daydream.

  “Kira, do you have anything to add here?”

  I don’t have any idea what he was going on about, so I just shake my head and pass on joining the conversation.

  “Are you all right, Kira?” Evie nudges me once Sebastian calms down. She’s an international student from the UK with the cutest English accent. “You seem a little off today.”

  “I’m fine,” I assure her. “It’s just been a long week.”

  “Oh, I hear that. I am so ready for a break.” She chomps on a piece of her customary KitKat bar. I don’t think we’ve had one study session where she didn’t have the chocolatey safety net.

  “One more week.” I smile.

  “Cheers to that.”

  We continue to review the study guide, each of us taking a section to outline, but I barely see the words. All I can think about is Ky and relive the way he made me feel last night. And this morning, and in the pool during naked brunch.

  A little bit of regret niggles at me, though. I opened up too much today. Showed too much of myself. I try not to get overly sensitive about my past. Usually the emotions are compartmentalized in a tiny box, buried deep beneath my subconscious. It’s how I’ve been able to move on, but there are things about myself I don’t discuss with anyone besides my mom or my therapist. But today, with Ky, I almost shared one of my darkest secrets, the largest skeleton in my closet. During a moment of complete transparency, I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted him to understand. Understand what my mother went through. What we both went t
hrough. Understand how much happiness Gerard has brought into our lives. I shared just enough before he stopped me dead in my tracks, and maybe that’s best for everyone. I don’t exactly know where this is headed. My educated guess? Nowhere. I foresee a fun time, a good fuck, and then a farewell. I’m sticking to the original plan. Heading to Paris after my last exam. I’m not going to make this any more complicated than it has to be. I’m not going to hold him to anything. I like Ky, when he’s not acting like a total adolescent dick, but catching feelings seems like a gamble. A broken pair of deuces. Gerard would tell me to fold.

  The end of study group feels like a relief. Like a weight has finally been lifted off my chest.

  I pack up my stuff, ready to bolt for the door.

  “Hey, Kira, wait up,” Sebastian calls after me.

  I slow my pace through the hallway. Begrudgingly.

  “Good group today.” He pushes his eyeglasses up his nose.

  “It always is. You run it like a Nazi.” I smile.

  “I just want everyone to succeed.”

  “I know. I’ve never been more confident to take a test before.”

  “Good.” He grins. “Have you given any more thought to my question?”

  I pause just as we get outside. Standing at the top of the building’s stairs, I turn to face him. He isn’t bad looking or a jerk. He’s just not my type.

  “Sebastian, I’m flattered that you want to take me out. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” He’s asked me out in some way, shape, or form since the beginning of the semester. For coffee, to study, a game of tennis, a movie, and just this last time to dinner. I have let him down nicely for each and every attempt.

  “Why? Because I’m not some rich, movie-star type from Hollywood?” he accuses.

  I’m caught off guard. “No, not at all.”

  Then my attention is pulled away from him by the deafening sound of a revved engine. A Harley Davidson engine, with a mean-looking motherfucker sitting atop a leather seat. “I gotta go. My ride's here.” Saved by the biker.

  I run down the steps to where Ky is waiting.

  “That guy bothering you, Snow?” he asks as he hands me my helmet.

  “No.” I glance up at Sebastian who is sourly watching me with Ky. “Just a guy who doesn’t like to hear the word no.”

  Ky peers up at Sebastian through his dark sunglasses, hostility radiating off him like the midday desert sun.

  I hop on the back of the bike and slide my arms around Ky. The connection seems to break him out of his unfavorable fog.

  “How was your study group?” he asks as he rests one of his hands on mine. I’m caught off guard for a second time this afternoon, because Ky has never cared how a class, or a study group, or my day has gone.

  “It was good. But I’m glad it’s over now.” I snuggle a little closer to him, and I catch a faint smirk on his lips right before he turns his head.

  “Up for a ride before we go home?” He makes the engine purr before we pull away.

  “Hell yeah.”

  And away we go.

  WE DON’T GET BACK to the house until well after ten. Along with a ride, Ky also took me out to dinner, which was a nice surprise. No food truck this time either. A pretty nice place with tables and chairs and everything. The conversation didn’t suck either. I told him about my year backpacking through Europe, and he told me about his time in the military and his very eccentric, hippy mother who had him smoking pot when he was eight and advocating for ‘guitars not guns’ at rallies all over the state. When he stopped showing up for school, Gerard stepped in and filed for full custody, which is how his time at the Baum Squad Mafia began.

  “Time for bed?” Ky locks his hands around my waist and walks me toward the stairs.

  “Time for a bath and then bed.”

  “I’m totally down for that.”

  “You might not like this bath.”

  “’Scuse me?”

  “You’ll see.” I drag him up the stairs by his shirt.

  In my bathroom, I turn on the water and pull out a stopwatch from one of the vanity drawers.

  “Here.” I hold it up.

  “I don’t like the direction this is taking.” Ky grabs his crotch.

  “It’s not to time you. It’s to time me.”

  “Doing what?” He answers his own question as he looks down at the running water. “Hell, no, Snow.”

  “Oh, come on. I’m trying to beat my best record.”

  “Which is?”

  “Eight minutes, forty-two seconds.”

  “Fuck, no. I will be pulling you up after thirty seconds. That shit freaks me out.”

  “Ky, I’ve been doing this for years.” I place the stopwatch in his hand. “Trust me.”

  The look on his handsome face is full of doubt.

  “I do trust you. I hate this.” He closes his fingers around the watch.

  “When I’m done, it’ll be bath time,” I promise seductively as I do a little strip tease.

  Ky makes no secret of ogling my body or stealing touches wherever he can. “Start the clock as soon as I go under.”

  I step into the tub, sit down, and breathe calmly. I inhale deeply and then exhale everything in my lungs, Ky’s eyes on me the whole time. I then inhale another immense, deep breath, as deep as I can, and think of anything except the fact that I am holding my breath. I release that one and prepare to submerge myself. I take three more breaths, one partial inhale, one maximum exhale, and then one-hundred percent inhale. Nodding at Ky, I hold it and submerge myself under the water.

  Once under, I enter into a state of relaxation.

  That’s the secret. Letting go of everything. Relaxing your mind and your body so none of your tense muscles steal precious oxygen.

  This is what draws me to freediving. The full body calm. The separation from stress. The severance from nerves.

  This is part of the therapy that got me through. Ironic, isn’t it? Lack of oxygen can kill you, but for me, it saved my life.

  As time passes, I recognize all the usual bodily responses. The general urge to breathe, the first contraction, but I’ve been doing this a long time, so I channel my training and press on. All I want is a second more. One second more to be better.

  As the compression on my diaphragm starts to build, the deeper into my headspace I go. I’m familiar with my limitations. I know at exactly what point I can withstand. It’s making it past that point that’s the challenge. Surrendering to the discomfort and pushing on.

  When the first air bubble escapes, I know my time under the water is winding down. I have mere seconds left before I blackout or choose to come up for air.

  The need to deflate my lungs or CO2 wins out. I break through the surface of the water and gasp for air. I pant, sucking in oxygen, allowing my muscles to feed.

  “How long was that?” I wipe my eyes and ask Ky.

  He looks down at the watch a little pale. “Holy shit, I forgot to press the button.”

  “Are you fucking serious?”

  He shows me the screen. All zeros.

  “Ky!” I splash.

  “I told you that shit freaks me out. I kept picturing myself giving you mouth to mouth.”

  “I bet you did.” I roll my eyes and pull the plug in the tub.

  “Hey, what are you doing? We were supposed to have bath time.”

  “I’m draining some of the cold water.” I turn the faucet back on. “I can’t imagine you’ll enjoy a polar bear plunge.”

  Ky dips his hand in the draining water and then pulls it out right away. “Jesus, woman, how do you survive in that?”

  I shrug. “Cold water is better for slowing the heart rate and metabolism.”

  “I’ll definitely stick to warm water where your blood keeps pumping.” Ky pulls his shirt over his head and gets rid of his pants. I don’t know if I’ll ever get tired of looking at his naked body. All ripped and chiseled and covered in ink. I try not to giggle when he steps into the cool water. It’s g
etting warmer but still needs a few gallons to cross over. It’s not his reaction to the temperature that makes me laugh — even though that’s entertaining, too — it’s the tat across his pelvis. Of course, I noticed the writing last night, but I chose not to make a comment until now.

  “Interesting choice of words.” I tickle the tattoo.

  Ky makes a devilish little sound. “I was eighteen, stupid, and drunk as all hell.”

  “I can picture that.”

  “Want to see if it’s true?” He pumps his erection. I peer down at his hand and the words “choking hazard.” “I definitely want to know how those lips feel on other parts of my body.”

  The devil is taking over, I can see it in his crystal-blue eyes. He’s becoming possessed with lust, and the only person who can vanquish the demon is me.

  “After bath time, I’ll put my lips wherever you want.”

  “After bath time, you don’t have a choice.” He floats next to me, pulling my body right up against his. Then he kisses me, and it’s as surprising as all the other kisses he’s bestowed on me. I’m always expecting rough, thoughtless, sloppy. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because that’s the way he’s treated me for the last few weeks. But every time he puts his mouth on me, it’s possessive, provoking, and dare I even say it, sincere.

  Ky Parish is definitely a puzzle I enjoy playing with.

  Ky urges me on top of him, and we continue to just kiss. To just touch and explore and enjoy.

  He cups my face and stares up at me with starry eyes. “I have never encountered a woman as beautiful as you.”

  His declaration has rendered me speechless. A compliment from Ky? A heartfelt compliment I never saw coming. There’s a little twinge in my stomach I choose to ignore. Don’t fall for him.

  I tenderly trace the scar marring his face, and he closes his eyes.

  “Did this happen in the military?”

  “No,” he answers evenly. “When I was thirteen.” He flutters his eyelids open to look at me, placing his hand over mine as he continues to speak. “One of the older kids who grew up around the club. He used to push me around because I was scrawny. Because he was angry and because he thought he could. I had enough one day, so I challenged him to a fight behind The Lion’s Den. There’s woods back there, so it was the perfect place. Or so I thought. We got into it pretty good. A couple of other club kids were there egging us on. My dad had been teaching me how to box, so I thought I had a good chance to kick his ass.”