Desired: Loving An Alpha Male

by S. K. Lessly

  A faint buzzing sound invaded my dreams. I suddenly realized it was probably my phone but for the first time in my life I didn’t want to move. This beautiful woman lying in my arms felt right to me. Me holding her felt right. She was soft and innocent, representing everything I am not.

  My phone stopped and then started again. Shit.

  I turned my body to the side to gently slide her off of me, and then turned to reach for my pants. I grabbed the fucking thing, noticing it was 5 a.m., and answered it.

  Sleepy and annoyed, I replied, “What?”

  I heard a chuckle, and then my cousin say, “Some shit’s going down. I need you to come to the room.”

  My interest peaked. “Yeah? See you in a minute,” was my reply, and then I ended the call.

  When I turned over, her body was facing away from me. I leaned into her and started kissing her shoulder lightly. She moaned her response and, damn, if my dick got hard again.

  I didn’t have time to play with her body again, so I said to her, “I have to go, baby.”

  She moaned her response again and turned to look at me.

  The purity and innocence that graced her face that moment humbled me and made me feel guilty as hell. I had to take a deep breath in order to fill my lungs with air so I could talk. “Damn, baby, you are so beautiful,” I whispered to her and touched her lips with mine. She smiled shyly and looked away from me. “I had a great time with you.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, baby, really. Too bad this is the only night I get to play with this sexy ass body of yours.” She looked at me confused, so I added while circling her nipples, “It’s a shame really. I would have loved to taste your pussy again. Maybe you could’ve sat on my face, since you like to squirm so much; give you some control over your own orgasm. And then feast on you all night long. Then fuck you until well after the sun goes down.” I moved my hand, nodded and rolled out of bed. “Yeah, that would’ve been some good shit don’t you think, baby?” Then I shrugged and put on my briefs and pants.

  “Georgia,” she breathed

  “What’s that, baby?” I put on my shirt and grabbed my t-shirt.

  “Um… My name is Georgia.”

  I grinned, “Of course it is.” I grabbed the condom I left on the floor and threw it in the wastebasket underneath the room desk across from me and grabbed my hat. Then I walked toward the door.

  “Aren’t you going to tell me yours?”

  I turned around to face her. “No. Rule number four, remember? We don’t know each other once I leave this room.” I put my hands up, “You’re rules, not mine.” Then I winked and left.

  *****

  “You’re fucking kidding me,” I barked.

  I was sitting on the couch in the suite with my cousin sitting in a chair across from me. The fury I felt that moment was becoming completely overwhelming. I wanted to punch someone or something, which I’m sure my cousin knew it and was sitting far away from me for that reason. I’ve also noticed he apparently got rid of Thing 1, 2 and 3 so I wouldn’t use them to take my frustrations out on. I’ve been known to do that a time or two.

  “Cuz, I know how you feel,” Angel said but I wasn’t hearing that shit.

  “Fuck that, Angel. You don’t have a clue. You know I didn’t do shit.”

  “I know you didn’t,” he countered

  “So what are you telling me? Uncle Bruno thinks I fucked up?” I studied my cousin looking, for a hint of a lie, but he didn’t show anything but remorse.

  “Come on, Drake. You know better than that. Pops has the utmost confidence in you. He trusts you to the fullest.”

  I leaned forward, placing my elbows on my knees and looked at him. “Then tell me something that justifies me hiding out like a bitch.”

  Angel, knowing my temper sighed. “Drake, this is by no means a bitch move. You have the fucking Feds after you. This isn’t some small time shit. They have you on a few counts of murder.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, and you know for a fact they can’t have shit on me.” I leaned back in my chair. “There’s no way they could pin anything on me.”

  Angel nodded. “I know, but the fact that they’re looking at you means they’re looking at the family, so we have to stay low. You have to stay low. At least until I can figure out what the fuck is going on.”

  My head fell back and sighed. I knew he was making sense, but this was still fucked up. I knew the Feds had nothing. There was no way they could. I wasn’t trying to be cocky. It was just a fact. I was that good. Alright, I’m cocky as shit, but hell the truth is the truth. I was not stupid though and cocky stupid motherfuckers are the ones that get pinched… I was a professional… I didn’t get pinched. I didn’t leave evidence, and I fucking didn’t get caught.

  With my eyes closed, I said. “How long do I have to be here?”

  “Two weeks at least-”

  “Two weeks?! There is no fucking way I’m staying here that long!”

  “You have to give me time to work, shit.” Angel looked at me, his own patience wearing thin.

  I ran my hand over my head, leaned forward and looked down at my feet. “What the hell am I supposed to do for two fucking weeks?”

  It was a rhetorical question, but my cousin didn’t know the meaning of the word. I heard him say, “Well, shit, if I have to tell you...”

  I lifted my head and saw a smirk prominently displayed on his face.

  “Fuck you!”

  He laughed. “Seriously, Cuz, just lay low. Don’t piss in someone else’s pot and the two weeks will go by before you know it.”

  I grunted but didn’t reply.

  Angel stood and walked to his bedroom. He came back out with his suitcase in hand. “I think you should get another room in one of your aliases.”

  I didn’t reply.

  “Are you going to sulk for two weeks?”

  I folded my arms thinking about it, but I knew I would lose my fucking mind if I did.

  “The moment I find out what’s going on, I’ll call you.” He handed me a phone. “Use this burner phone to contact me. I got it before we left so it’s not linked to us at all. If there’s anything you need, you know what to do, yeah?”

  I nodded but didn’t reply.

  “Drake,” I looked up at him. He continued, “I’m going to find out what’s going on. You can count on that.”

  I knew I could, and I told him so.

  I stood, and we did the bro handshake. You know; half handshake half hug.

  “Stay out of trouble,” he told me.

  “Yeah, you do the same. I’m not going to be there to have your back, so you’re on your own.”

  He smiled. “Yeah, I can take care of myself.”

  “I know, but if it gets too hot, back off. I’ll figure out another way to clear my name. I’ve done it before.”

  Angel is one of the few people that truly knew my secrets. There aren’t that many people I trust, but I know for a fact I can trust him.

  “I know you have, but you don’t have to do that shit anymore. You know I’ve got your back.”

  Angel left out of the room, and I waited about thirty minutes before I called the front desk and asked if they had any other rooms available. They told me they had one and gave me the rate. It was highway fucking robbery, but I couldn’t complain, so I booked the room under one of the many identities I’ve created for myself. Then I showered and packed.

  After I had breakfast, I moved to my room, unpacked and went to fucking sleep. I thought about going to Georgia’s room to see if she really meant what she said about us being strangers, but I didn’t. I may not be stupid cocky, but I’m fucking prideful. I’d be damned if she makes me feel like a fucking idiot for wanting to be with her. I couldn’t understand why I wanted to in the first place.... Yes, I do. She was a fantastic woman. I didn’t know shit about her, but I just had this feeling about her. I knew she was a good person. I knew last night was a bucket list kind of thing, and I was all too pleased to be that for h
er. The problem was I wanted more.

  That night I went to bed determined to find a warm body to get into the next day. That night though, I went to sleep thinking about one of the best pussies I’ve been privileged to be inside of.

  Chapter 4

  Georgia

  What are you doing here, Georgia?

  I sighed deeply and looked around one of the many exclusive Cabo San Lucas clubs, realizing that very moment that I had no business being there. Let me paint the picture for you. There were women in their twenties in the skimpiest bikinis I’ve ever seen, dancing and gyrating their non-existent hips for any age male that would give them a second thought. There were women in their thirties, such as myself, watching the younger women like they were antichrist, wishing they would get swallowed by a tidal wave or something, anything that would wipe them from this beach.

  Me; I really didn’t give a shit about the twenty-somethings. I mean, I had the same goal as the thirty-something females but I wasn’t going for perfect.

  The goal isn’t to have happily ever after. No, my goal for these two weeks was to get my freak on and often. I wanted to remain numb. I wanted to forget everything and everyone I left behind and get lost in someone, even if it was temporary. I didn’t have the stomach for anything else.

  Okay, so all I have to do is walk up to one of these idiots and say, “Hey do you want to come back to my hotel room?” I mean this should be easy. I did it the other night.

  They say yes like that other guy did, and that’s it; we can leave.

  Funny thing though, I couldn’t get up from that stool I was sitting on to approach anyone like I did the night before. This shouldn’t be this hard, right? All these guys here are just waiting for a female to go up to them and invite them to their rooms. But, it seems every time I think about getting up and approaching someone, he invades my thoughts.

  No, I need to forget about him. He didn’t even want to give me his name. No matter the sweet things he said to me, no matter the connection I felt instantly when our lips touched, I needed to forget him and move on.

  I turned on the stool and looked out in the club. The dance floor was packed, people were sitting around tables and some were just standing and people watching. Maybe I was just doing this wrong. I needed to stop thinking about him, and focus on finding someone for my bed that night. I took it easy last night. I figured I needed to give my body a break from the pounding it took. Now I was back at it and…urgh.

  Maybe I should’ve acted like the twenty-somethings and went out on the dance floor and shook my ass. If I did that then maybe, just maybe, I could find some young hot stud to freak on that night.

  I looked around the room and sighed. Watching these young women grab the attention of the men here, I didn’t stand a chance. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not ugly, at least I don’t think I am, and that’s what matters, right? Anyway, I’m brown skin, the color of chocolate I’d say, but I’ve been told I’m more of a mocha color, which to be honest with you I don’t see the difference. I’m 5’7” with thickness and curves that according to society and department stores, puts me in the plus size category, even though I don’t look it. It’s the hips and ass I say, but hell what do I know.

  I wear my hair short most times, but this trip I have wavy styled micro mini-braids that come to the top of my shoulders. My eyes are brown, slanted slightly, but I think they are my best facial features, besides my smile.

  I know I’m not the first choice for the majority of these men, but maybe someone would take me up on my offer. My mind suddenly drifted back to the other night and the man that seemed to see right through me. It was as if he knew I shouldn’t have been in the bar, much less trying to pick him up, but the fact that he went along with everything should have told me all I needed to know about him. He wasn’t someone I needed to spend any more time with. What we had was mind blowing to say the least, but that needs to be the extent of it. Never mind he made me orgasm more times in one night than I have in my thirty years of existence. Never mind that he turned my body inside out, making me feel things that I’ve never felt before. Never mind the fact that he was the sexiest man I had ever seen in my life.

  He wasn’t good for me.

  I suddenly realized I was subconsciously rubbing at the hickey he left on my chest. I shook my head and put my hands back in my lap. I turned to face the bar and my eyes instantly went to the front door just as he walked in.

  Shit!

  Of all the clubs in Cabo, he decides to come to this one? Really?!

  I quickly turned my head and signaled the bartender for another drink. Maybe if I pretended to not have seen him, he would go away. I took a few deep breaths as I felt him get closer. He stopped and spoke to the bartender behind the bar. I watched him then move in my direction, and I was ready to ignore him fully if he came up to me, but he didn’t. Instead, I noticed him go from the corner of my right eye to the corner of my left.

  What? He didn’t even stop to say anything?

  I frowned and watched him look around. After locating a seat, he grinned, admiring some twenty-somethings and sat down.

  That son of a bitch! I knew he saw me. I’m almost certain to the fact. But he didn’t have the decency to just stop and say hello, or give me a nod, some type of acknowledgment?

  I mean shit didn’t the night we share mean anything?

  I watched him pull out a cigar and light it. As he leaned back in his chair, the bartender came up to me and placed a drink in front of me. I turned and still frowning, said, “I didn’t order this.”

  He replied without a hint of a smile, “I know. He bought it for you.”

  I followed the bartender’s finger, and he pointed right at the son of a bitch who was now grinning and looking at me.

  Smug bastard.

  I gave him the finger, and I should have given back the drink or poured it out, but yeah I don’t turn down drinks. I have a thing about wasting alcohol. I may not like that he bought me this drink, but damn it I’m going to enjoy it.

  Alcohol and I were the best of buddies. I can hold my liquor, and I’m quite proud of that fact. Unfortunately, the two closest people in my life think I drink entirely too much and too often. I’m not an alcoholic by any means. I’ll have a glass of wine when I’m grading papers to get me in the mood and mellow me out. But on the weekend, if I’m at happy hour or something, I’m going to have a good time. I don’t drink and drive. My fiancé sends a car for me every time I go out to make sure I make it home safely.

  I frowned at the thought of Gavin and decided to order another shot of tequila. Every time I think of him my heart starts to break all over again. I feel sick to my stomach wanting to curl up into a fetal position and cry.

  Gavin Diego was who I envisioned spending the rest of my life with. He was nice, smart and successful. And he was very attractive. I mean very attractive. He stood at a good six feet and worked out religiously. He had beautiful brown eyes and thick black wavy hair that my hands lived in every chance I got.

  We met while he was getting his Master’s Degree at the university I currently teach at. We both were in the library, he studying and I was grading papers. I would see him in the library all the time, and I admired him from afar. I didn’t believe he and I were compatible just looking at him and me. We were so different, but it turned out I was wrong. He actually made the first move one day by coming up to me and asking if I was a student. When I told him I was a Psych professor, we started talking and well the rest was history.

  I was on cloud nine having a man like Gavin around me. He was getting his Master’s in Political Science and was heavily involved in the Latin communities in Miami. At first, I thought he was way too good for me. I have a seedy and dark past, and I didn’t want to tarnish him. But he would always tell me not to worry about anything. He was in love with me, and he didn’t care about my past or what anyone else thought. I was his, and he was mine.

  That’s sweet, right? Well, my best friend thought otherwise. Maya
Wilson was my ace and closest friend. We met in undergraduate school at the University of Miami. She currently works for a huge public relations company in Miami as a publicist. To her, appearance is everything. She would always get on me about my looks, even before I met Gavin. She would tell me that I needed to work out more, watch what I eat, buy expensive clothing so they can fit my body better. I’ve mentioned I’m a little on the thick side. Well, the crazy thing about my makeup is I can work out all the time and my hips, ass and thighs remain big. And when I gain weight guess where it goes… Yup, it goes to my hips, ass and thighs. My stomach happens to not be that much of an issue, which boggles my mind all the time.

  I love food mind you so I wasn’t going on anyone’s diet, but I at least went to the gym to run on the treadmill for an hour twice a day. That was enough for me, and she tolerated it. That is until she got a look at Gavin. Things changed between her and me at that moment. She started to beef up her shots of me being too big or eating too much. She’d told me multiple times what I needed to do in order to keep Gavin interested in me. She would tell me how to dress, eat, and how to speak when I was attending public engagements with him. She frowned on me drinking, and after Gavin had proposed to me, they both started teaming up on me. Suddenly, it wasn’t okay that I was myself in their eyes; I had to be more. So I would try to please them both, doing everything they suggested but it seemed it wasn’t enough. I was exhausted just trying to be something that I wasn’t. To be quite honest, I felt like I was losing the essence of who I was. I lived with being criticized my whole life. I didn’t want to marry into that. So, even though it was horrible timing, on the night before our wedding, I went to talk to Gavin.

  He told me he and his friends were going out that night to celebrate his last night of freedom, so they got hotel rooms off the South Beach strip. That way no one drove home drunk and the hotel happened to be close to the church where we were getting married.

  I was staying at a hotel not too far from his hotel so it wouldn’t take long to go see him and come right back. So, I snuck out of my room trying to be quiet so I wouldn’t wake up Maya, which was easy to do because she slept like a rock. We were staying in a two-bedroom suite so I was in one room, and she was in the other. She decided to stay with me that night to keep me company and prep me for how I’m supposed to behave at my own reception. I knew if I told her I was going to go see Gavin, she would kill me.