Remember the Dreams

by Christine Flynn

  Remember The Dreams

  ❖

  Christine Flynn

  Copyright © 1985 by Christine Flynn

  Australian copyright 1986

  New Zealand copyright 1986

  Philippine copyright 1986

  First printing 1985

  First Australian paperback edition November 1986

  ISBN 0 373 09254 7

  CHRISTINE FLYNN

  admits to two obsessions, reading and writing, and three "serious" preoccupations, gourmet cooking, her family (she has a daughter and a husband she unabashedly describes as the sexiest best friend a girl could ever have) and travel. She has tried everything from racing cars to modeling and spent ten years in the legal field before settling into what she loves best—turning her daydreams into romance novels.

  Chapter 1

  "Why don't you live with me, Toni?"

  Antoinette Collins leveled her vivid blue eyes at Kyle Donovan and lowered her glass of wine. If Kyle had suggested such a thing five years ago—which he never would have—it would have been the fulfillment of her wildest fantasies. Though he'd never known, she'd been in love with him then.

  Now Toni met his cool gray eyes easily, and a quiet pride filled her at what she had become. She was twenty-seven now. No longer the wide-eyed young woman he had once known. Her maturity was evident in the confident tilt of her head, the unconscious grace of her movements. The light filtering through the University Club's arched windows created a platinum halo around the neat coil of her waist-length, flaxen hair and lent an alabaster sheen to her smooth complexion. She looked like an angel, but beneath her tailored suit jacket beat the heart of a dedicated and capable stockbroker. Only her inner softness, which she seldom allowed anyone to see, kept her from being a true Kyle Donovan creation.

  A teasing light crept into her eyes as she considered what Kyle had just offered. "Are you serious?"

  "Sure," he replied blithely, then took another sip of his wine. "Like I said, I'm out of town most of the time, so you'd practically have free run of the place. And since your company won't be picking up your hotel tab after tomorrow, it would give you more time to find a place of your own. You said yourself that you haven't had time to look since you were transferred back here." That sexy grin she remembered so well creased his darkly attractive features. "How about it?"

  Toni leaned back in her chair, contemplating the man she hadn't seen in five years. His fascinating gray eyes still reflected the determination that had made him a name partner in the nationally known brokerage house she used to work for. The evidence of his success was apparent in the abundance of silver woven through his casually styled black hair and the more prominent depth of the lines bracketing his firm and sensual mouth. He always used to be in such a hurry, his pace leaving lesser men—or women—floundering in his wake. He played hard, and worked harder. But his compulsion seemed to have given way to a more comfortable, less aggressive manner. Though she didn't doubt that that aggression still lurked beneath the surface, he seemed more relaxed now. The way he carried his lean, athletic frame spoke of calm self-assurance, and his casualness made his arresting features even more compelling.

  Toni immediately dismissed her last thought, along with the odd quickening of her pulse. It was only fatigue—or maybe the second glass of wine—that was causing her to wonder what that beautiful mouth would feel like against hers. Kyle had never kissed her. He'd never even come close. They were nothing more than friends, and she knew that the only reason he had called her—after reading in the local business paper that she was now managing a competitor's office—was because of the friendship they had once shared.

  Before she'd left Seattle to work for another firm in New York, Kyle had been her boss, her mentor, her confidant. The ease with which they had met again proved that the intervening years had done little to change that unique relationship. It seemed like only yesterday that they had sat at this same table either heatedly debating the merits of investing in futures, or discussing Kyle's rather hectic love life. Kyle had always played Russian Roulette with his lovers—but he hadn't known how his innocent comments about those women had hurt Toni.

  She'd adored him. But she had hidden her emotions well.

  Kyle's forehead had pleated in a questioning frown, and Toni realized that she'd been quiet for too long. Jerking herself from her reverie, she returned to the matter he had brought up only moments ago.

  "Don't you think that my presence might cramp your style?" she prodded, seriously entertaining his offer. What he was proposing sounded perfect, and very practical. Toni was always practical.

  The frown faded. "I'll have you know that I'm considerably more circumspect now than I was in my youth." The solemnity of his words was ruined with his devilish grin.

  "Your youth! You were thirty years old!"

  "So I was a late bloomer," he shrugged.

  "If you were a late bloomer," she returned dryly, "then I was ..."

  Still struggling for an analogy, she saw Kyle lean forward. The glint of a gold cufflink edged from the sleeve of his impeccable gray jacket as he crossed his arms on the small cocktail table.

  "A snow princess?" he offered, a conspiratorial gleam in his eyes.

  She'd stepped right into that one. Kyle had always found it quite amusing, if not incredible, that then, at twenty-two, Toni had yet to sacrifice her virtue.

  "That's not what I was going to say. And," she supplied succinctly, "I think I'm a little old for that title."

  She was admitting to nothing, and he could draw his own conclusions from her statement. It seemed important that he think of her as something other than the "snow princess." He probably wouldn't believe it if he knew the truth anyway. Toni was convinced that she was the only twenty-seven-year-old virgin left on the face of the earth.

  A soft smile curved her lips. So little had changed between them. She could still say exactly what she wanted to say—she'd never wanted to tell him how she'd once felt—and apparently Kyle also felt that same freedom. It was one of the things she had valued so highly about their friendship.

  The amusement slipped from his eyes as he settled back. His intent gray gaze moved slowly from the smooth part of her hair, over the sultry sweep of her dark lashes, then stopped briefly on the generous curve of her mouth. His eyes seemed to linger there before settling on the provocative expanse of skin revealed above the third button of her blouse.

  The appraisal was one she had been subjected to many times before, but never by Kyle. And never had it seemed so invasive, so thorough.

  The large room suddenly made her feel almost claustrophobic.

  When he glanced back up at her questioning eyes, none of the male appreciation she'd just seen was even remotely evident.

  Had she just imagined it?

  "Too bad," he decreed with mock gravity. "The last of an endangered species finally bit the dust. I presume that the man in question offered to do the honorable thing?"

  There really was no "man in question." The only relationship of any substance she'd had, had been with a man who was so much like Kyle it was positively uncanny. The "affair" hadn't taken the usual course, but Kyle didn't need to know that.

  "No," she said, forcing the lightness from her voice. She didn't want to change the conclusion he'd obviously drawn.

  Kyle regarded her steadily, his expression hardening as he saw the smile fading from her eyes.

  He didn't know that she was trying to keep from laughing.

  "Did he hurt you, princess?"

  A little surprised at the anger tightening his jaw and the contradicting softness of his question, Toni hastily assured him that "he" hadn't. "No real damage done," she returned. At least that remark was totally honest. "It w
as a classic case of inexperienced, naive young woman meets dashing and worldly male whose only desire is to add her to his trophy collection. You," she teased with an accusing arch of her eyebrow. ". . . should certainly recognize the scenario." She was doing nothing to correct his assumption.

  "Ouch!" Kyle clutched his heart as if he'd been mortally wounded, then glanced at her narrowly. "Maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea having you around after all. You'd stop at nothing to remind me of my tainted past."

  Remembering how much fun it used to be to bait him, she shot him a look of feigned disapproval. "If you hadn't told me about all of your conquests ..." She let the sentence trail off meaningfully.

  "I didn't tell you about them," he defended. "I just asked you what to do about them."

  "Same difference," she returned airily. "And I never did understand why you wanted my advice. You were the one with all the experience."

  Cupping the bowl of his glass in his large hands, Kyle glanced down at it. He seemed to be studying the pale golden wine. "Maybe it was because you were always so level-headed when it came to relationships."

  Toni refused to find any deeper meaning in his words. He wasn't talking about their relationship and she knew it. Instead, she opted to pick up on the subject he'd just reopened. "Staying with you might pose a few problems, you know. It seemed like we always used to wind up in an argument about something and ..."

  "But they were friendly arguments," he interrupted, his eyes dancing over her delicate features. "I just played devil's advocate to your overly simplistic rationale about everything from how to cure the national debt to life in general."

  "Overly simplistic!" Toni's animated expression relaxed in a barely suppressed smile. It was pointless to defend ideals that had long since been proven wrong. But for the sake of the argument, and to prove her point, she added, "At least I wasn't a cynic! And I wasn't the one who could take a straightforward transaction and complicate it to the point—"

  The expression on Kyle's face stopped her abruptly. He was watching her with the mildly amused grin that used to drive her crazy. Like he was indulging a precocious child.

  "I guess we've both changed a little," he said mildly. "You know, I'd always wondered what happened to my snow princess, but I didn't realize how much I'd missed you until I saw you again. I'll try to make a point of being home for a few days next week so I can find out what you've been up to all these years."

  My snow princess? Why did his use of the possessive cause her heart to take on such a chaotic beat? He'd meant nothing by it, she was sure of that. He was just the same old Kyle. Well, not exactly the same. But he wasn't treating her any differently from the way he always had.

  "I'm in direct competition with your company." Mentioning a possible point of contention seemed safer than dwelling on something that didn't exist.

  "So we don't discuss our accounts." His shoulders lifted in a dismissive shrug, and he scrawled his signature across the bill the waitress had unobtrusively presented. "That still leaves us with plenty to talk about. After you fill me in on your life, you can help me straighten out a little situation I've found myself involved in . . . and then there's always politics, religion and . . ."—he gave her a playful leer—"sex."

  If he was expecting her to blush like she would have when he used to tease her, he'd have a very long wait. Working on Wall Street had provided a very sophisticated education, and Toni had learned most of those lessons quite well. Instead of lowered lashes, Toni was blessed with a boldly level glance and an indulgent sigh.

  The "little situation" he'd just mentioned quite probably had something to do with a woman. Toni was actually thankful that he was involved with someone, but she couldn't figure out why. What difference did it make?

  "You and I both know that those are three subjects that virtually guarantee an argument, Mr. Donovan."

  If he was trying to look innocent, he was failing miserably. "Are you saying that we're incompatible?"

  The curve of her mouth drew upward, a glimmer of pure pleasure lighting the tiny flecks of green in her blue eyes. "Undoubtedly."

  "Guess it's a good thing I won't be around much then." Pushing his chair back, he drew his six-foot-two-inch frame up to its imposing height. Even at five-foot-seven, Toni had always felt dwarfed by him. "Let's go get you checked out of the hotel."

  "Now?" She hadn't actually said she'd accept his offer, though she guessed her acceptance had been implied.

  "Why not? Living in a hotel for three weeks is bound to be getting to you. And with the schedule you've been keeping, you need to be someplace where you can relax." He pulled her chair out and, sliding his hand beneath her elbow, drew her to her feet. "I've got a hot tub and a sauna that you can use without having to share it with anyone else, and when you get home from work you can kick your feet up on the deck and listen to nothing but the wind in the trees. I make a point of doing it just as often as I can."

  He was still her mentor. Only the lesson he was imparting now was quite different from the one she'd been tutored in so long ago. She'd become everything he'd taught her to be. Hardworking and totally dedicated. And in that scheme there was no room for such unnecessary things as relaxation. Could he see the toll that that type of existence was taking on her? Had he recognized it in himself? Maybe that was why she'd noted so many subtle differences in him. But it didn't begin to explain why he was looking at her like this.

  Standing in front of him, her head tilted back slightly and her blue eyes locked on his fathomless gray ones, Toni suddenly felt like she was sinking through the floor. The walls of the room seemed to be receding and even the quiet conversations taking place at the other tables had faded away.

  Kyle's face was devoid of expression, and her own mirrored that strange intensity. An intangible electricity filled the very air surrounding them. Toni was vaguely aware of his deep, indrawn breath and the almost imperceptible tightening of his hand on her elbow. She had the craziest urge to reach up and touch the hard line of his jaw, to run her finger over those sensual lips. With a deliberate effort, she curled her hand at her side.

  In the next instant whatever it was that she'd seen in his eyes was gone, replaced with his easy smile. It was as if whatever it was that had happened, hadn't happened at all.

  "Come on, kid." His use of the subordinate term effectively erased the last traces of the rather disconcerting moment. "I've got a flight to catch in three hours." He nudged her across the room. "That's just enough time to get you settled in and me packed and to the airport."

  Toni had learned that the matter-of-fact approach always netted the best results in any given situation. Practically speaking, there was no reason why she shouldn't stay with Kyle. They were friends—platonic friends, she firmly reminded herself. Anything else she might be feeling was just a nostalgic memory of something she'd felt five years ago.

  ❧

  Pulling her rented Pontiac up behind Kyle's black Porsche, Toni gaped at the sprawling redwood and glass structure nestled in a forest of fir trees. The road winding up the hill ended there, and there wasn't another house in sight. If Kyle had wanted a place where he could get away from everything, this was definitely it.

  "I'll put your suitcases in the last room on the left," Kyle said, motioning her through the double doors and nodding toward a wide hallway off the entry. "Take a look around while I pack."

  Descending the steps leading into the sunken living room, Toni's eyebrows arched approvingly. An enormous window overlooking Puget Sound comprised the far wall of the spacious, high-ceilinged room—a room her entire apartment back in New York would have fit inside quite easily. The pearl gray drapes, which matched the thick carpeting, were drawn back, exposing a redwood deck that ran the length of the house. Dusk was giving way to darkness, and over the tops of the trees, she could see the city lights glimmering off in the distance.

  A curving leather sofa, in a deep gray that Toni thought matched the color of Kyle's eyes, occupied the center of the roo
m. Moving toward it, she dropped her purse on one of the glass tables between it and a navy blue chair. Kyle had said to take a look around, and that was exactly what she was going to do.

  Everything from the glassed-in pool downstairs to the panoramic views available from nearly every room in the house lent to the air of quiet luxury and relaxation. But as she returned to the main level, an uncomfortable thought accompanied her. She'd seen a couple of guest rooms downstairs. So where had Kyle put her things? Was the "last room on the left" his room?

  "Toni?" Kyle's voice was muffled by the maze of walls separating them.

  Telling herself that she was being ridiculous for even entertaining such an idea, she followed the sound of that deep, resonant voice. She moved down the wide hallway, peeking into rooms as she went, and stopped at the end of the hall.

  Her luggage was sitting inside a large, comfortable room to her left. Kyle was standing in the one to her right.

  She didn't realize that she'd been holding her breath until she let it out. At the same time, she rubbed her clammy palms down the sides of her skirt. Of course Kyle had given her her own room. What had ever made her think otherwise?

  Turning, she leaned against the doorjamb to watch Kyle.

  He'd taken off his jacket, and his white shirt had been pulled free of his slacks. Judging from the way its tails hung loosely around his lean hips, the front of it was unbuttoned.

  "Nice place," she observed, her eyes on the suitcase he'd laid on his bed—a large circular bed that seemed to dominate the room. "Were you dating an interior decorator?"

  "No," he returned, dropping several pairs of jockey shorts into the suitcase. "I hired one. Is your room ok?"

  Why did the sight of that bed make her so uncomfortable? Deciding that it was less unnerving to stare at the wrinkles in his shirttail, she replied, "It's perfect. How long will you be gone?" She didn't want to talk about bedrooms.