Sweet Memories

by Marie Higgins

  “Please, Toppy,” the owner of the barn said, grasping the other man’s arm. “Let’s discuss this like civilized men.”

  The man named Toppy nodded. “I shall discuss this once you admit these saddles are not your finest.”

  The pudgy cheeks of the middle-aged man grew red. “I’m sure I can find other saddles that are more suitable.”

  Tori growled and gnashed her teeth. Her deceased mother’s husband wanted to start a stud farm. He didn’t know the first thing about it. She, however, would be perfect at that. One section of the land would be for her award-winning horses, and the other section of the land would be her immaculate gardens. She must act quickly and do something to stop Cole Baldwin before he ruins everything.

  Quickening her step, she hurried down the road. Another man, standing with three other people, drew her attention. The large burly man with chopped black hair, and the unsightly scar by his right eye, seemed vaguely familiar. Within seconds, she recalled where she’d seen him. He’d been on the same ship when they came into Portsmouth. He was the one who’d looked oddly at her when someone called her Victoria.

  Well, she didn’t want to have to talk to him again. He was extremely rude and not worth her time. She just hoped he didn’t look at her.

  “The woman I’m lookin’ for,” the man said to the two women and one man who’d just exited a shop, “was wearin’ widow’s garb. She’s slender with brown hair and is very lovely. It would be hard not to notice her.” He motioned his hand toward the docks. “She was on the docks durin’ the accident.”

  The other three shook their head, and the man in the group said, “Sorry, Sir. We haven’t seen her.”

  “All I know,” the burly man continued, “is that a wealthy man with a limp took her. I need to find her.”

  Tori sucked in a quick breath. Wealthy man with a limp? That sounded like Major Baldwin. And if the lovely woman with brown hair was wearing a widow’s gown... Tori was willing to bet the lady this man searched for was the imposter.

  Slowly, a grin tugged on the corners of her mouth. Perhaps becoming friends with the hideous man with the scar was a good idea after all. Had fortune finally smiled upon her?

  VICKY’S QUESTION HUNG between them in dead silence.

  Cole had wanted to keep holding her, kissing her, and cherishing the time they shared. But her question jerked him out of his passionate state of mind. He shouldn’t allow her question to ruin what has happened between them. Actually, it surprised him that the subject didn’t come up sooner since they’d been interrupted the last time she’d asked him that.

  He took a deep breath for courage, and then slowly released it. He stood in front of her and gently took her hands in his, loosely. “I suppose it’s time to tell you about the relationship I had with your mother.”

  Fear shone on her face, causing her smile to shake.

  “Vicky, I’d told you before how your mother liked to rescue people, correct?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, she was at a time in her life, after your father had passed away, when she wanted to remarry. She was wealthy, and she was tired of men paying attention to her just because of her money. Rebecca wanted to marry a man whom she respected and could talk to as a friend. She wasn’t looking for a lover, at least not that I knew about.” He took another deep breath before continuing. “Because my father had gambled most of the family’s money away, I felt I couldn’t get a commission to be in the king’s military. Rebecca knew I’d be a great soldier, and so she offered to pay my way.”

  Frowning, he shook his head, recalling his feelings that day. “I hesitated to accept. I didn’t want her thinking I was taking advantage of our friendship. That’s when she offered marriage.” He chuckled softly. “I thought she was jesting, but she wasn’t. She said that marrying me would stop the rogues from trying to seduce her, and it would be a way to help me get into the military.”

  He draped her arm around his as he resumed their stroll. “I worried that people would think I was marrying her just for that money, but it really wasn’t like that. I argued with her, and tried to change her mind, but she wouldn’t have it. I told her that I didn’t know if I would ever truly love her as a husband should love a wife. She laughed and told me that most marriages weren’t based on love, anyway. She explained that because we were friends, we would do better than most of the ton marriages.”

  Cole stroked Vicky’s fingers resting on his forearm. “Rebecca convinced me that I was doing her a favor, so eventually, I gave in and married her.”

  “I bet the gossipmongers had a lot to talk about,” she said softly.

  He nodded. “Indeed. I was considered the rogue, and the whole affair turned into a scandal. But soon I went into the military and she remained at Grand View. We kept in touch over the years, and she assured me that she was happy.” He paused, glanced down at her, and winked. “Rumor had it that she kept a lover, but because I couldn’t be the kind of husband she deserved, I wasn’t bothered by that.”

  “What about you?” Vicky asked quickly. “Did you...um, keep...a mistress?”

  Embarrassment washed over him. He really shouldn’t feel ashamed. Most men kept a mistress. “Not in the sense that you are thinking. I devoted my time and effort to the military. Occasionally, I met a woman, and we became...involved, but that was it. I moved on, and so did she.”

  “What about now?” Vicky stopped and faced him, once more.

  Confusion filled him. “What do you mean?”

  “Do you have a mistress now?”

  He laughed. “Why would you think that?”

  Her cheeks turned red. “Well, earlier, I overheard you and Adora in your study...” She bit her bottom lip.

  Inwardly, he groaned. Why had he allowed the servant to come into his study earlier today? He should have ushered her out of his study the second she stepped in, but he’d been drinking a little, and he needed someone to talk to.

  “Adora is not my mistress. There was one foolish time a year ago, but that will never happen again. She means nothing to me now.”

  Vicky frowned. “That’s not what it sounded like,” she whispered.

  His heart wrenched. “Oh, Vicky, I’m so sorry you had to hear that.” He pulled her into his arms. “I was feeling confused and upset earlier, and well... I know I shouldn’t have allowed her into the room with me, but she’s always been able to listen to my problems, and well—”

  Vicky placed a finger on his lips, stopping him. “If you say there is nothing between the two of you, I’ll believe it.”

  Once more, her words made his heart soften. “I assure you, there’s nothing between us. I have never loved her.”

  “Have...” she paused and took a breath. “Have you ever loved anyone?”

  Strange, that she would ask such a thing, especially when he was feeling that way now. “When I was a young man, a few years before I met your mother, I thought I was in love. Alas, we were both too young, and because my father was a gambler, I was not the kind of man women wanted to marry. She soon moved her attentions to someone else whose family had more money.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Thankfully, she didn’t look as frightened as before. In fact, she peered at him with dove eyes, just as she’d done right after they’d kissed. He could stare into her eyes forever. “You don’t have to be sorry. If I had ended up with her, I would have never had the privilege of meeting you.”

  Her cheeks turned red again and she lowered her gaze to his chest. “I should be upset that you didn’t love my mother.”

  He held his breath. This was what he hoped wouldn’t happen. He didn’t want her to hate him.

  “But, I’m not.” She raised her eyes and met his gaze. “In fact, I’m rather overjoyed.”

  Relief washed over him, and he nearly shouted with happiness. But men didn’t do things like that. And of course, he didn’t want to startle her. But the happiness running through his veins was out of control.

  “Why do yo
u feel overjoyed?” He tried his hardest to keep the excitement out of his voice.

  “Because I thought if I gave my heart to you, I was hurting my mother’s memory...when I eventually get it back, anyway.”

  He cupped her face with both hands, smiling. “And all this time, I was fighting my feelings for you because I felt guilty for loving the daughter when I couldn’t love her mother.”

  She inhaled quickly, and her eyes misted. “You...love me?”

  “It sounds strange, I know, since we really haven’t known each other that long, but yes, I do think I’m falling in love for the first time.”

  Sighing, she fell against him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He lifted her face and bent to place a kiss on her lips. The moment their lips met, his chest tightened with the newfound feeling. Surprisingly, it didn’t frighten him. He embraced it and wanted more. Not only were stars dancing in his head, but birds were singing. How long had he waited to find a woman he could love, who would return his feelings? He believed he’d truly found her now. Never would he let her go.

  There was nothing stopping them now. Even if her memory returned, there would be nothing to tear them apart. Even if she had been upset at him once for not loving her mother, her new feelings would override that.

  But, what about the night her mother died? Had the servants been right and that he was responsible for pushing Rebecca down the stairs? And yet, he didn’t feel as though he could do that to Rebecca. He would have known if he had killed his own wife. Wouldn’t he?

  The more he pondered on it, the more he realized how ridiculous the notion was, and soon happiness overshadowed his doubts.

  “Oh, Cole,” she muttered in between kisses. “I never dreamed it would be this magical to fall in love. I never thought I could be so happy.”

  “I feel the same way.”

  “But Cole...” She pulled back and met his stare. “What if I never remember my past?”

  “Then we’ll make new memories together, my love.” He stroked her cheek. “But I do believe your memory will return. After all, you had remembered being on the dock, right?”

  She nodded.

  “See. Your memory is coming back, just slowly.”

  “What would I do without you?” she asked as her body relaxed against his again.

  He kissed her forehead. “Hopefully, you’ll never have to find out.” He kissed her one more time before pulling away and taking her hand. “Why don’t we take this back to the house now.”

  Excitement shone on her face. “Splendid idea.”

  He led the way again, but this time their stroll turned into a brisk walk. As they passed the place they’d been sitting not too long ago, he took a moment to grab the satchel and his coat before they headed toward the buggy still parked by the trees. By the time they reached it, they were both laughing.

  “I take it,” she said, “that you’re as eager as I am.”

  He nodded. “All I want to do is hold and kiss you somewhere that’s more comfortable, and not worry about the day slipping by.”

  “That sounds wonderful.”

  He helped her up into the vehicle and climbed beside her. “I just thought of something you might like.”

  “Do share.” She hooked her hand around his arm and cuddled closer.

  “I shall have the cook prepare us a lovely dinner, and then I’ll find a way to bring some music into the ballroom so that we can dance.”

  Her eyes sparkled with eagerness. “You would do that for me?”

  “I’d do anything for you.” He cupped her face.

  “But...I’m not sure I know how to dance.”

  He laughed. “Then it will be a pleasure to teach you.”

  Cole looked forward to teaching her, and especially, holding her close. Being with her made him happy, and no matter what happened, from this day forward, he was going to spend as much time with her and get to know the woman he’d fallen in love with.

  TEN

  Was being in love really this wonderful?

  Miss Thompson assisted Vicky, yet again, into an evening gown. The silk maroon material complemented her dark hair quite well. White lace bordered the square neckline, edges of the sleeves, and in one straight line down the front of the dress, also along the hem. She wore elbow-length white gloves and white earbobs dangling from her ears. Miss Thompson fashioned Vicky’s hair a little differently this time. There were more curls in her coil and tendrils hanging by her ears and a few on her neck.

  As she stared at herself through the vanity mirror, there was something distinctive in her memory—or lack thereof—but Vicky didn’t think she had ever looked this pretty before. She didn’t think she’d ever felt this happy.

  As she took in this new and glorious emotion, there was something in the back of her mind trying to keep her from enjoying the sensation too much. Why did she think something was not right? There was also a sense of restlessness, and almost an urgent need to make everything right.

  Silently, she groaned. If only she could remember why she felt this way, perhaps she could do something about it and relish the happy emotion fully. But therein lays the problem. What could she do to spark her memory?

  “You look so very lovely, Mrs. Hampton,” Miss Thompson remarked.

  Smiling, Vicky shook her head. “Please don’t call me that. It’s a name I cannot remember. I beg of you, just call me Vicky.”

  Miss Thompson grinned, making her chubby cheeks appear larger.

  As Vicky glanced in the mirror, she turned to the left, and then to the right, loving how the gown looked on her. For certain she didn’t look like a widow. Had she really been married? Why couldn’t she feel it?

  “Thank you, Miss Thompson. If you’ll let Major Baldwin know I’ll be right down, that would be wonderful.”

  The maid bobbed and hurried out of the room. Vicky’s heart rate kept climbing, and she feared she wouldn’t be able to handle their evening. She didn’t need to know it would be stimulating. Being with Cole did that to her.

  As she moved toward the door, voices from out of the window captured her attention, and lured her to glance outside. In the yard was a young girl playing with a dog. In the girl’s hand was a stick. Laughing, she tossed the stick, and the dog ran after it, his tail wagging with happiness.

  Vicky smiled. She hadn’t seen any children on the estate, and certainly not any animals besides horses. Witnessing the playful scene made her sigh happily. Had she owned a puppy when she was a young girl?

  In a split second, her mind opened and she saw a young girl, perhaps in her fourteenth or fifteenth year. The girl in her vision wore similar clothes to the one outside, but this girl seemed more familiar. Vicky couldn’t see her face clearly, but she had brown hair, and it was gathered away from her face and tied with a ribbon at the back of her neck.

  Suddenly, the mood changed. Chills ran up Vicky’s spine. The girl in her vision looked over her shoulder. Her eyes widened in fear. Vicky couldn’t see what the girl was looking at, but her heartbeat hammered a panicked rhythm. Just as the girl screamed, Vicky’s vision disappeared.

  Shaken, she leaned against the wall, steadying herself. What was that about? Was this a memory trying to break through, or was it just her imagination at work? And yet, why would she visualize something so disturbing?

  Her whole body felt weak and spent. The urgency inside of her grew like an infection, tightening her chest and making it hard for her to breathe. Off and on since her accident, she felt as though she was in a rush...that something needed to be done quickly. For some odd reason, she didn’t think she was imagining anything. This was part of her memory. If only she knew her role in all of this.

  On unsteady legs, she left the room and wandered downstairs. She wanted to tell Cole, and yet, she was afraid to. Once again, this fearful emotion must have something to do with her memory. Why would she be afraid to tell Cole anything?

  A heavenly scent wafted from the kitchen, and her stomach grumbled. She followed the smell an
d it took her directly into the dining room. Two place settings were on the table, along with two candles and a vase full of roses.

  Slowly she entered, taking in the beauty of the decorations. Had her mother been the decorator, or was all of this done after she’d died? Nevertheless, the red and gold furniture, the deep wood side tables, and the gold draperies, along with the rose-colored wall furnishings, blended so well together and brought out the romance. The mood was definitely set.

  Smiling, she still couldn’t believe she had kissed Cole...and admitted their feelings to each other. Her singing heart told her she’d never felt this much happiness before. He actually loved her!

  Two strong arms wrapped around her waist, snapping her out of her thoughts. She hadn’t heard Cole come in, but she was satisfied with his greeting.

  “Good evening, my love.” He brushed is lips against her neck. Warm tingles ran over her, and she groaned. How could one man’s mouth bring such pleasurable havoc to her skin?

  Placing her hands over his, she melted against him as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the sweet intimacy. His hot breath made her weak in the worst way, but leaving his arms was out of the question. She didn’t even care if his servants witnessed them like this.

  “I pray you don’t think I’m out of order by kissing you so intimately.”

  She smiled, even though he really couldn’t see since he stood behind her. “Of course not. I was just thinking that I don’t care if anyone sees us like this.”

  “My thoughts, exactly.” He pressed a few more kisses on her neck, trailing them toward her shoulder. “However, I think I had better stop before we end up taking this farther and then I will be unable to stop altogether.”

  Vicky understood perfectly. That out-of-control feeling was sweeping over her much too fast. Although it made her heart beat crazily, the feeling brought fear with it.

  He pulled away, but only enough to move beside her, keeping an arm around her waist. Together, they walked to the table where he pulled out a chair for her. Everything was so very special, each second she was with him, they were creating memories she would always cherish. However, that nudge in the back of her mind told her that she shouldn’t become too comfortable.