Love Is Proud

by JMS Books Authors

  Who Saw This Coming? by Eric Fahnestock

  “Jon, there’s someone sleeping next to Dad. They’re naked. What should I do?”

  “Joanie, is it a man or a woman?”

  “I don’t know, I can’t tell. I can see that they’re naked though because….wait. Jon, it’s a man! He has a lot of hair on his legs.”

  “Joanie! Where are you? Are you in Dad’s house sneaking around, spying on him?

  “Dad hasn’t answered his phone for several days so I used my key to check on him after I saw his car in the driveway. And I am not sneaking around his house. I’ve been worried about him.”

  “Well, you shouldn’t be there. Imagine what he would say if he woke up and discovered you in the hallway peeping into his bedroom.”

  “Jon! Did you hear what I said? There is a naked man sleeping next to Dad and he has his arm wrapped around Dad. That is far more important than you yelling at me because I might be sneaking around in Dad’s house. I’m concerned. Doesn’t this bother you?

  “No.”

  “Why not? Do you know something that I don’t know? Damn you. You do, don’t you? Tell me, what are you keeping from me? A secret?”

  “Yes, Dad and I have a secret and if he hasn’t told you then I don’t think it is my place to tell you.”

  “I’m your big sister. I insist that you tell me what is going on. Now. Right now.”

  “Joanie, calm down, and get out of the house before your voice gets any louder and you wake Dad. You have no business being there. Now get out of there.”

  “Not unless you tell me what’s going on. Otherwise I am going to make so much noise that Dad wakes up and comes downstairs.”

  “Damn you. Alright. I’ll tell you, but first you must leave the house and do not, do not, wake Dad. He’s not ready to tell you because you always make such scenes. He deserves to keep his secret until he’s ready to tell you. Now get out of the house. When you’re in your car call me and I’ll tell you what I know. Now get out of the house. I’m hanging up.”

  Several moments later Jon’s phone rang again. He could tell it was his sister but she was not calling from her car phone.

  “I told you to call me from your car phone.”

  “I bicycled over to Dad’s. I don’t have my car. I’m outside on the front porch. Now tell me what’s going on.

  “Alright. Thanks for not waking Dad. He’s had a really difficult couple of weeks coming to terms with Mom’s death and other things.”

  “We are all suffering from Mom’s death. What other things? What do you know that I don’t know?”

  “Because Dad spent the past weekend here in Rehobeth Beach with Steve and me, and Ben. They were both very stressed and…”

  “Ben. Ben who?”

  “Steve’s Dad.”

  “Ben? Oh, Uncle Ben!”

  “Yes, Uncle Ben. Our next door neighbor when we were growing up. Steve’s Dad. Your pretend uncle. Hazel’s husband? You know, Ben.”

  “Jon. What the hell is going on? Why were they with you and Steve over the weekend? Why is Ben naked and in bed with Dad in Dad’s bed? I don’t understand. Why have I not been told about any of this? I’m getting pissed and you know how I am when I get angry, little brother.

  “For a woman you are such a drama queen! For Dad’s and Ben’s sake give this a break and don’t interfere. Please!”

  “Why not?” Joanie was screaming into the phone now.

  “Damn you. Calm down. Please.”

  “I want to know, and I want to know now!”

  Jon took a deep breath, sighed, and shrugged his shoulders. She always knew how to make him give up, do what she wanted, and Jon already knew this was not going to end any differently.

  “Remember the joint funeral for Mom and Hazel after they were killed in the accident? Remember how Dad and Ben just cried and cried, unable to even go to the coffins for a last view. Remember how they held onto each other, supported each other? I stayed home with Dad for the next several nights and Steve stayed with his dad. But we had to get back to work so we insisted that they come with us back to Rehobeth Beach to get away from the memories. Think about it. You had your husband and children to comfort you, Steve and I had each other, but Dad and Ben had no one. Their entire lives were devoted to their wives and to us when we were growing up. Remember we took all our vacations together. We traveled all over the US together. Two families. Inseparable. For our entire childhood, Ben and Dad had no close friends other than each other. So…”

  Joanie interrupted again. “But you and Steve are gay. Dad’s not. Ben’s not. Why are they sleeping together? Naked? I just don’t understand what is going on.”

  “There you go again, interrupting, not listening, just like you always do.”

  “I am listening. This just does not make any sense what-so-ever.”

  “You’ve insisted on knowing even though I didn’t want to tell you. But you have your usual hysterics. And now you don’t understand anyway because, as always, you block out whatever I, or Dad, or Mom try telling you when it doesn’t fit what you want to hear. Now listen.”

  “I don’t do that. And I am listening. But Dad sleeping naked with Ben makes no sense at all, damn it.”

  “No, you are not listening! Now hush up and listen. Maybe it’s because Steve and I are gay that we observed how Dad and Ben used to act whenever we all were together. They always were together, talking, bicycling, golfing, while our moms did their own thing. Steve and I sometimes wondered if Dad and Ben were closer to each other than they were to their wives. In fact, once, several years ago, when Steve and I were alone with Hazel and Mom in Hazel’s kitchen—it was several months after we announced we were gay and intended to get married—we thought that they were hinting that maybe Ben and Dad might have more than a little man-to-man friendship for each other. Then there was the time after Steve and I got married when Dad made a very enigmatic remark at our reception that he was so pleased that we were strong enough to get married to each other and be out to everyone in the community. Steve thought it was a strange comment but I didn’t think there was anything to it at the time. Now I believe that he may have been sending a hidden message to me.”

  “Nonsense. Rubbish. Dad is not gay. And neither is Uncle Ben. You think all men are gay just because you and Steve are. Well, it’s not true.”

  “Ha! I bet your husband is gay, too, and that you are a real fag-hag. Just wait, your children will turn out gay, too.”

  “You bastard. You’re lucky you’re not here right now or I would hurt you the way I used to. I am your big sister. I’m bigger than you, stronger than you, and meaner than you. Don’t you forget it. I will get you back for that remark.”

  “C’mon Joanie. I’m just kidding. I didn’t really mean what I said. I’m sorry. Please, I really am sorry. I should not have said that. I was only trying to get you to realize that Dad and Ben demonstrated subtle mannerisms while we were growing up. And, because Steve and I were gay, we were more in tune to what they were saying and doing. And, Steve and I truly believe to this day that Mom and Hazel also recognized what we were seeing. But we never once talked about it. You didn’t see anything ever, but you were so involved with your social life that you would have just overlooked it. Think back. How many Saturday nights were you home after you turned sixteen?”

  “Okay. I forgive you. Now get on with it.”

  “Well, several days after the funeral Steve and I had to return to work. Dad and Ben agreed to return with us. We had enough room. They each had their own bedroom. They took turns cooking dinner for the four of us. We made sure they had enough work to do to stay busy, like cutting the grass and trimming the shrubs. And they put in a new concrete sidewalk between the house and the garage. Several weeks later they went golfing one afternoon where they met two other guys about their age. They went out that evening with them to a local club. Turns out they were a gay couple. They must’ve had a good time because they were much more relaxed the next day. They decided
to go out again to the same club and asked Steve and me to go with them. There we met the other couple and the six of us all had drinks. Ben and Dad shared some stories from their past that I never knew, stories about their being best friends that led to jokes about their sons being married to each other. Later that evening Ben asked Steve to teach him to dance. And Dad decided he wanted to learn, too. So the six of us went out onto the dance floor. Soon we were all exchanging partners until about an hour later our feet had enough. Dad and Ben were smiling, almost laughing, for the first time in weeks.”

  “Jon, are you telling me the truth or are you just making this up?”

  “No Joanie, you asked and I’m telling you how what you saw today came to be.”

  “Alright. Keep going.”

  “Dad and Ben started golfing every afternoon with this other couple, and then started meeting them for drinks almost every night. About a week later we went with them to the club. We watched as they danced with each other for over an hour. I never saw Dad look so relaxed and laid-back, so to speak. That night when they returned home Steve noticed that they were holding each other’s hands until they got onto the front porch. They sat down onto the porch swing and several minutes later Steve told me that he saw them kissing each other and talking very quietly so as not to be overheard.

  “The next morning Dad pulled me aside and asked if we would mind if he and Ben slept together in the same room. A short time later Steve told me that Ben had pulled him aside and asked him the same question. That night when they returned from the club we heard them go into Ben’s room and close the door. At breakfast they were like two little kids, giggling and acting silly, when suddenly Dad announced to Steve and me before we left for work that Ben and he had explored new frontiers for the very first time ever. I remember I said, Huh? What are you talking about? Then Dad pulled Ben to him and kissed him in front of Steve and me.”

  “You’re lying. I don’t believe one word of this. You’re making this up. Jon, stop playing me for the fool. Dad would never ever do that.”

  “Honest, Joanie. Everything I’m telling you is true.”

  “Jon, if I find out that you’re making this up I promise you I will hurt you like I have never hurt you before. I promise you.”

  “Joanie, this is exactly what happened.”

  “Okay, but I’m warning you.”

  “After Dad kissed Ben he told us that they were going to go back home the coming weekend. That didn’t last. Ben called Steve and asked if they could come back for a little longer, that they were not ready to face the memories of the past. But only Ben came back, Dad stayed there at home. They talked on the phone several times over the next two days and then Ben decided that he was ready to return. He explained to Steve and me that they worked out a system where they would alternate sleeping in each other’s home. The reason you couldn’t connect with him was because for several days he was next door at Ben’s house. But this week they are staying at Dad’s house. They are taking turns clearing out each other’s house of items that are no longer needed and items that are precious and they need to keep. Next week they are going to put both houses up for sale and move here to Rehobeth Beach into a rented house about two blocks from us. Of course, it’s much closer to the golf course.”

  “Why hasn’t Dad told me this? I live only two blocks away and I’ve tried to look after him since you are more than one hundred miles away.”

  “Dad planned to tell you this week. He’s going to ask you to take anything from the house that you wanted before he sells it or moves things here. So you better act surprised when he tells you. Don’t get me in trouble with him. Please.”

  “Okay, but I’m still angry over all this. Why did you have to keep a secret from me?

  “Because Dad asked me not to tell you until he was ready to tell you himself. Besides, you know how hysterical you can get when things are not to your liking.”

  “Well, I’m going back inside to see if he’s out of bed yet.”

  “Joanie don’t do anything stupid, please.”

  Joan went back into her father’s house and made a pot of coffee. She sat down at the kitchen table and rehashed all that her brother told her, round and round never quite getting to the part of accepting that her father was gay let alone her brother. As she sat immersed in thought she was startled when her father leaned around her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

  “Hi, sweetheart. What are you doing here so early in the morning?”

  “Hi, Dad. I hadn’t heard from you in several days and I bicycled over to check on you. When I saw your car was here I figured you were still in bed. Since I was out of coffee I made some of yours. Hope you don’t mind. I have to go to the store after I leave here. Do you need anything I can pick up for you?”

  At that moment Ben came down the steps.

  “Hi Joan. How are you this beautiful summer day?”

  “I’m doing good, Uncle Ben. How are you?”

  “Well, you know your father and I have had some tough times coping since the accident but together we have been able to help each other work through the tough days. Thank God for your father, and your brother and Steve. I don’t know what I would have done otherwise.”

  Her father chimed in. “Joan, I, or we, have something to tell you, and something to ask you—a secret you might say. You most likely know that Ben and I have been best friends since our freshman days in college. We roomed together for four years, graduated at the same time with the same major, and worked for the same company for years. We both married at the same time in a joint ceremony, and Steve and you were born in the same month of the same year. We always knew that there was something special between us but we just always referred to it as a very unique friendship. After your mother and Ben’s wife were killed in that horrendous accident, we went to stay with your brother and Steve for several weeks where we learned why our friendship was so special. You know, we never really understood how very alike a gay marriage was to a straight marriage until we spent time living with Steve and your brother. We had our eyes opened. How could we have been so naïve all these years? Joan, Ben and I love each other and we have decided to get married.”

  Joan just sat, stunned, quiet, staring, mouth agape. Jon had been telling her the truth; her father was gay, and her “uncle” was gay, and they had always been that way but never were willing to acknowledge why their friendship was what her father always called special. After a long, a very long moment of total silence she opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Finally she managed to croak, “Okay.”

  Ben and her father said nothing. They moved towards each other, then put their arms behind each other’s backs, each pulling the other closer. All the while their eyes were glued to Joan to monitor her reaction. She was shaking like an ash leaf in a light wind.

  “Dad, I’m going to need some time. I was kind of okay when Jon announced he was gay. By the time he married Steve I had almost accepted it. But, you? I don’t know how to deal with this. And Uncle Ben, too? You’re going to have to help me on this. I mean, it’s like you’re abandoning Mom, forgetting her and doing something bizarre, unnatural, almost foreign. I just don’t understand.”

  “Joan, I believe your mom always knew that Ben and I loved each other in a way different from the way I loved her. But she knew as I knew and as Hazel and Ben knew, that she was always first and foremost my true love. She always trusted me and I never betrayed her trust. Now, because of all that we have shared, Ben and Hazel and Mom and me, it just seems so right to Ben and me that to honor their memory, their love for us and our love for them and each other that we commit ourselves to each other. It is like they are still alive because we still love and cherish all that we have shared over the many years. By Ben and I marrying we are perpetuating our love for Hazel and Mom. I don’t know how else to explain it other than it just feels so right. We hope you can accept us that way. That is why we want you to keep our secret.”

  “What secret? Are you saying Jon
and Steve don’t know?”

  “No, and yes. They already know most of what you now know, but they don’t know that we have decided to get married to each other. And we don’t want you to tell them. That’s the secret.”

  “But Dad, why don’t you want them to know?”

  “Because we want it to be a surprise. We want you to officiate our marriage. Will you do it? Will you marry your father to his best friend and your pretend uncle? Will you help us honor the love we have for your mother and Hazel by marrying us? Will you do it?”

  “Oh, Dad. I don’t know if I can. Ohhhhhh.”

  “Please say yes. We have already arranged for you to become a Universal Life official. And we have invited Jon and Steve over for dinner on Sunday. We told them that you would be here also. We have everything arranged, cake, champagne, rings. Everything. All you need to do is the official ceremony. Please do it for us, for your mom and Hazel. Please.”

  “Okay. I love you, Dad. And I love you, too, Uncle Ben. Okay, I’ll do it.”

  * * * *

  ABOUT ERIC FAHNESTOCK

  Eric Fahnestock is the pseudonym of a national award winning university physics professor. In addition to academic research and teaching, he enjoys writing stories for his group of gay friends who meets regularly for dinner and camaraderie.

  Jackpot! by Dean Frech

  The constant dinging of the slot machines gave Jack a headache. He reached in his pack for some Advil and swallowed two tablets with the last of his lukewarm coffee.

  “Another?” the bartender asked from behind the bar.

  Jack glanced across the floor of the casino at his mother, Lydia. “Yeah, looks like we’re going to be here a while.”

  “You sound thrilled.” The bartender grabbed the coffee and walked around the bar.

  With a cigarette in one hand, her own cup of coffee in the other, Jack’s mother tapped the slot machine buttons and laughed with the old man who sat next to her. “Looks like she’s having a good time. Hate to spoil it. You know?”

  “Yeah.”