What Tomorrow May Bring

by Tony Bertauski

  Alessa laughed as she slipped on a supple pair of flat knee-high boots, one of the few pre-college splurges she’d indulged in with her parents’ inheritance. She could smell the rich brown leather as she slid the zipper closed. “Definitely not. You can imagine what I looked like when we met yesterday afternoon. It’s a miracle he even wanted to talk to me.”

  “Nah, you don’t give yourself enough credit,” Janie replied. In a mock announcer voice, she continued. “Alessa Khole, breaking hearts from this life to the next!” Janie laughed heartily at her own joke.

  Alessa’s amusement faded as she was stung by a sudden pang of guilt deep in her gut. She hadn’t thought about the ghost even once since meeting Nikhil.

  Janie noticed the change in Alessa’s expression and suppressed her mirth. “What’s wrong?” she asked, inquisitive.

  Alessa didn’t really know what was wrong. She certainly had no obligations to this ghost but, strangely, for some reason Alessa felt like she was betraying him. It didn’t make any sense.

  Alessa tried to put on a smile for Janie. “It’s nothing. I just… realized I forgot to put on deodorant.” She crossed the room to grab the stick of antiperspirant on the mantle, eager to shield her face from Janie’s inquiring eyes.

  Alessa knew Janie wasn’t fooled, but Janie let the topic drop nonetheless. Alessa was relieved. She had a hard enough time rationalizing her ridiculous thoughts about the ghost to herself, let alone trying to explain them to someone else.

  Alessa had a nagging feeling that she was doing something wrong by seeing Nikhil, and the feeling had washed away all of the excitement that she’d been reveling in all afternoon. Now she just felt resentful. Why couldn’t the ghost just let her be?

  She swiped the stick under her arms – for the second time that evening – and put it back on the mantle. Alessa swallowed her frustration and tried to compose herself before she turned around to face Janie again. She was going to put the ghost out of her mind and enjoy herself. There was no reason she couldn’t go to a party, have a couple beers, and flirt with an attractive guy like any normal college freshman, at least for one night. She owed it to herself to try.

  A shriek of glee pierced the air from downstairs and Alessa took the opportunity to change the subject. “Sounds like the drinking games have begun.”

  Janie picked up on her cue and obliged, smiling good-humoredly. “Ready for a little action?”

  “You bet.” Alessa took one last look in the mirror and headed out the door towards the party.

  11. REVELRY

  Alessa and Janie descended the stairs into the main foyer and took in the scene. The front door was propped open invitingly, cool air streaming over the threshold and regulating the temperature inside. Alessa observed that the house was already starting to feel sweaty and humid in a gross sort of way; she was glad she’d opted for the t-shirt over a sweater.

  To the right of the steps in the living room, the couches were pushed back against the walls and the DJ – who Alessa recognized as a fraternity brother from one of the other houses on campus – had set up a pair of massive speakers with thick cords running to his laptop. He was playing dance music so loudly that Alessa could practically see the speakers vibrating. There was a large hand-painted sign hung on the wall that read, “Happy 40th Zeta Epsilon Pi!” Nearby a group of sisters and a few male guests stood chatting and swigging back gulps of what Alessa could only assume was the cheap, flavorless beer that always seemed to be served at student-funded events.

  To the left, there was a rowdy game of beer pong underway on the dining room table. Two of Alessa’s housemates – maybe-Sara and another sophomore who lived down the hall – had two very dumbfounded guys down to their very last cup, with only two cups missing from their own side. Alessa looked on with amusement as maybe-Sara sunk the ball in the last cup – the guys had probably thought the two sorority girls would be an easy win, but no such luck at Z-E-Pi. Alessa felt a small swell of pride, which surprised her immensely.

  There were two kegs stashed to the side of the dining room table, a giant bag of red cups balancing between them. Alessa guessed someone had made a trip to the bulk discount store earlier that day to stock up.

  Janie saw Alessa eyeing the beer. “Shall we?”

  “We shall.” As the beer pong teams set up for another match, Alessa and Janie made their way past the table to the kegs and each grabbed a cup off the top of the stack. The light yellow beer streamed from the tap, foaming up the moment it touched the white interior of the plastic cup. Alessa’s foam nearly overflowed and she took a quick sip to prevent the spill. As expected, it was bland and flavorless except for an unpleasant hint of sour. Ugh, she could already imagine the stale taste that would pervade her tongue tomorrow morning.

  Janie took a sip of her own beer, her face contorting into the same grimace as Alessa’s. “Nothing but the best for Z-E-Pi,” she joked.

  Alessa smiled and shook her head, choking down another frothy sip. At least the beer was cold. For now. “Come on, let’s go find somewhere to sit.”

  Janie gave Alessa a disapproving look. Alessa knew that sitting alone in a corner was not Janie’s idea of a party, but she followed Alessa into the living room nonetheless. Alessa plopped onto the couch as far from the speakers as possible and Janie perched on the arm cushion next to her.

  For the next hour or so, Janie and Alessa sat devotedly sipping their beers, making occasional small talk with the few sisters who stopped by to say hello. They finished their first beers and each started a second. The house started to fill up, another group of students pouring through the door every few moments and heading straight for the kegs. Before long the party was in full swing.

  Her field of vision now entirely obscured by bodies, Alessa decided to stand up and get a better view. There were students packed in every direction, mingling and laughing and guzzling their cups. Shrieks of triumph sounded from another raucous game of beer pong, the talented Z-E-Pi team reigning over their next victim no doubt. The air buzzed with the din of voices shouting over the aggressively bumping music, the crowd’s bodies swaying almost involuntarily to the beat. Alessa could see a few small groups slipping into a full-out gyrate, which was slowly starting to spread to neighboring circles.

  The atmosphere had ripened with the musky human smell of sweat. An already intoxicated male guest leapt onto the couch and thrust his red cup skyward, splashing beer in every direction as he bellowed a hearty, “Z-E-Pi!” at the top of his lungs. Most of the guests cheered in response, then resumed their carousing. Yes, it appeared the party had begun.

  Janie poured the last drops of beer number two down her throat and turned to Alessa. “Ready for round three?”

  Alessa threw back the remainder of her own beer with a grimace. She was going to need to choke down a lot more of these to make this chaos enjoyable. “Let’s do it.”

  Janie led the way towards the dining room, weaving her way in between pockets of dancing students. Alessa followed in her wake, apologizing to everyone she bumped into as if they could hear her over the noise. As they crossed through the foyer, Alessa paused at the threshold of the door to take in some fresh air, and at that exact moment, Nikhil came striding up the steps onto the porch.

  “Alessa!” He spotted her inside the doorway immediately and started heading her way.

  “Nikhil. Hey. You came.” Great opening. She took a deep breath and tried to swallow her awkwardness, taking a step in Nikhil’s direction. Then she remembered Janie heading for the beers. “One sec,” she said to Nikhil. She turned around and shouted Janie’s name. Janie was almost to the dining room but she heard Alessa and stopped, swinging around in the direction of Alessa’s voice. Alessa waved for Janie to come over.

  Janie’s face lit up when she saw Nikhil. “Nice work,” she murmured to Alessa under her breath.

  Alessa suppressed a laugh and turned back to Nikhil. “Nikhil, this is Janie. Janie, Nikhil.” They shook hands.

  “Nice to meet y
ou, Janie.”

  “Likewise.”

  Another tall, handsome male loped up the steps behind Nikhil, playfully punching him in the shoulder with a sarcastic, “Thanks for waiting for me, bro.”

  Nikhil turned to his friend and laughed, and Alessa found herself blatantly staring at the two of them. They looked like they’d stepped out of some sort of preppy catalog that catered to the wealthy and privileged – twin Adonises, one dark and one fair. She normally found the popped collar look a little over-the-top, but somehow these two managed to pull it off with ease. They were quite possibly the most attractive men Alessa had ever been within touching distance of.

  Nikhil turned back to Alessa and Janie, completely oblivious to the effect he and his friend were having on them. Janie was practically drooling. “This is Josh, from my water polo team.” Water polo. That explained it. Josh extended a hand in their direction and Alessa and Janie introduced themselves in turn.

  Alessa was fumbling with how to proceed when Janie stepped in to save her. “So, we were just about to get a beer. Would you gentlemen like to join us?”

  “Sounds great,” Nikhil replied.

  “Follow me.” Janie led the way with Alessa, Nikhil, and Josh in tow.

  Reaching the dining room, Alessa saw that the beer pong tournament had deteriorated and Lizzie Green was attempting to organize a battle-of-the-sexes game of flip cup. She was clearly tipsy, which only brought out her good-natured bubbliness. She spotted Janie and Alessa and waved them over. “Janie! Alessa! Come play with us! And bring your –” her eyes widened when she saw Nikhil and Josh, “– friends…” Fantastic. Just what Alessa needed – Lizzie Green as competition.

  Janie, however, didn’t seem concerned. She turned to Alessa and the guys with an enthusiastic, “Let’s play!” Her competitive side sometimes overshadowed her better judgment, in Alessa’s opinion at least.

  Alessa begrudgingly followed Janie to the female side of the table, hiding her displeasure as best she could. Janie grabbed two more cups for Nikhil and Josh and filled them each a quarter of the way with the now-warm beer while Alessa did the same with the girls’ cups. Lizzie turned to the new players. “I assume you all know how to play? When it’s your turn, chug your beer, set the cup down on the table, and tap it from the bottom to flip it upside down.”

  “We got it,” Alessa replied, gritting out a smile.

  As the game initiated, the eight players on each team held their cups aloft, tapping them together with their opponents across the table. Janie stood across from Josh, beaming, and Alessa lined up with Nikhil. She noted with satisfaction that Nikhil was looking only in her direction.

  Everyone placed their cups on the table in front of them, goading the other side with cheerful trash talk and spirited promises of defeat. Lizzie, who was to start them off, viciously stared down the guy across from her until he looked visibly shaken – apparently the combination of so much beauty and so much ferocity being flung at him at once was a little too much to handle. She raised her glass to his to signal the start of the game, her opponent wavering for a moment before he realized what was happening. It was all Lizzie needed. She threw back her beer without pause, slammed her cup to the table, and deftly used her fingertip to flip it on its head in one graceful swipe. Perfect, as usual.

  The game continued down the line, each side cheering on their own players as they downed their beers and flipped their cups with varying degrees of success. When the game reached Alessa, the girls had a small lead and she was determined not to jeopardize it. She chugged her beer in one swift motion and placed her cup on the table, the lip overhanging the edge of the wood. Alessa tapped it gently with her finger, but the cup just fell over and rolled on its side. In a moment of panic she glanced across the table at Nikhil; he was only now starting to guzzle his beer. She quickly reset her cup and hit it with a little more force. Success!

  Janie finished off the game with a win for the women’s team, to much applause and uproar. The men immediately demanded a rematch. After another close round the men proved victorious, necessitating a tie breaker. When the men won once again, they suggested mixing up the teams and everyone happily obliged.

  After four rounds of flip cup – bringing Alessa’s tally for the night to somewhere around three beers – the room started to spin, in a pleasant way. The excitement of the game had brought out a zeal in her that she hadn’t felt in very long time, and the adoring looks that Nikhil was sending in her direction didn’t hurt either. Alessa felt deliriously happy for the first time in over a year. Damn the ghost. Tonight she was having fun.

  There was a break in the action as the first keg tapped out and a couple of the guys volunteered to set up the second one. Janie took the opportunity to suggest that the four of them go dance, which sounded like a fabulous idea to Alessa. Alessa looked inquisitively at Nikhil and he consented with an affable shrug. Janie didn’t even give Josh a choice. She grabbed his wrist and dragged him behind her, and he acquiesced with an amused smile. Alessa and Nikhil followed.

  Finding a clearing in the living room, Alessa noticed that the pounding music no longer felt oppressive, but freeing. She could feel the beat pulse through her body and she let it move her as it pleased. She danced with abandon, completely unselfconsciously, and it felt good. She felt sexy, alive.

  Nikhil and Alessa were pressed together ever closer by the crowd, their bodies moving as one in time with the music. Alessa could feel the hair sticking to the back of her neck as her skin started to glisten, but she didn’t care. She threw her arms up and tossed her head with the beat, reveling in the moment.

  Nikhil gently placed his hands around Alessa’s hips, seemingly mesmerized. The crowd swelled and they were pressed together once more, his arms wrapped around her waist, her hands on his taut swimmer’s chest and shoulders. He leaned over, nudging his face so close to hers that she could feel the heat rising off his skin. Alessa parted her lips and looked up at Nikhil, preparing to surrender to her body’s impulses.

  But instead of the dark brown eyes she expected, she saw only blue. Unfathomable, sparkling blue, glittering with facets of ocean and sky, boring deep into her soul and clutching at her heart. Once again, a single word rose in the back of her throat – Isaac – and she knew this night was over.

  12. RESOLUTION

  Alessa pushed Nikhil away with a start. She wasn’t sure if what she’d just seen was the ghost himself or just a figment of her guilty imagination, but either way, she couldn’t go through with the kiss.

  Nikhil looked at Alessa, bewildered. Fortunately, Alessa was too tipsy to feel more than a tinge of embarrassment at her own behavior, but she did feel sorry for the hurt she saw in Nikhil’s eyes, which were brown once again.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t,” was all she said, and she pushed past him, heading for the stairs. Janie noticed Alessa’s abrupt departure and made to follow, but Alessa waved her off. She needed to be alone.

  Bounding up the stairs, Alessa stumbled and caught herself against the rail. The room was spinning, but not so pleasantly anymore. She staggered into her bedroom and closed the door behind her, sliding down to the floor with her back against the wood until she sat on the carpet, her knees pressed against her chest.

  What was going on in her head? She was having an amazing time – the best she could remember having since her parents died – flirting and dancing with a nice, incredibly good-looking guy who was clearly interested in her, and instead of just enjoying it, for some reason she was fixated on some stupid phantasm that probably didn’t even exist.

  She cursed her own idiocy and hung her head in her hands. She’d definitely blown things with Nikhil. She couldn’t imagine how she would face him tomorrow, or whenever she happened to see him next, if he even wanted to see her again. What must he be thinking right now? She couldn’t bear to guess.

  It was all the ghost’s fault. Stupid Isaac. And there was that word again. When had she become so convinced of his name? And why couldn’t she put
him out of her head for one night? The whole situation frustrated her beyond belief.

  Alessa felt nauseous. She crawled over to her fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, chugging half of it in one long gulp. Her stomach rumbled and she felt immediately worse. She needed food.

  Still sitting on the floor, she reached up and grabbed the box of cereal on top of the minifridge, scooping a handful of dry flakes to her mouth. She chewed and swallowed, repeating the process until she no longer felt the urge to spew.

  Alessa sat on the floor with her legs splayed out in front of her, her back slouched against the side of the fridge. She put the cereal box down. This was pathetic. She couldn’t believe she’d allowed a ghost to drive her to this sorry state.

  Alessa realized in that moment that the only way she was ever going to get past this obsession was to get to the bottom of the mystery. She needed some clue as to what might be driving him to haunt her, to know who the ghost was and how he had died. Only then would she be able to make some sense of this strange situation and finally move on with her life.

  She looked at the clock. Almost 1 AM. It dawned on Alessa that the library was open 24 hours, and she already knew where the records she needed were located. She resolved to put an end to this charade this very night if she could.

  Alessa pulled a warm sweatshirt over her head and tossed her laptop into her backpack along with the half-empty bottle of water. She was dreading having to sneak out through the party when she remembered the rarely-used narrow second staircase that led directly to the kitchen. She headed that direction and was able to escape out the back door having only encountered a handful people who were raiding the sorority’s pantry for late-night snacks.

  It was frostier out than Alessa had expected, but between her strong buzz and heavy sweatshirt, she felt mostly impervious to the cold. The back of the house was dark, which suited Alessa just fine. She stuck to the shadows as she skirted her way around to the front of the house, towards the path that led to the quad.