The Killing Room

by Gerri Hill

  “No. You told them you were fine, that you had no adverse effects, and that you were good to go back on duty.”

  “Just because I had a recurring dream didn’t mean I wasn’t ready to go back,” Jake said.

  “You were having a dream, Jake, because you hadn’t gotten it out, you hadn’t talked it out with anyone. There’s a clinical reason they make you see a doctor, you know. It’s not just for kicks.”

  “Well, if I’d known you then, I’d have gladly bared my soul to you,” Jake said quietly.

  With their fingers still entwined, Nicole pulled Jake’s hand closer. “And I’d have given anything to be there for you.”

  Jake tucked her head and sighed. “Well, there you go,” she said.

  “I know you’ve heard this before, but…”

  “I shouldn’t blame myself?”

  “Well, I think that’s futile to tell you not to blame yourself. It’s human nature to blame yourself, Jake. It’s your profession. But you have to reconcile that you did what you could do. If you’d taken other action, like trying to take the guy out, you might have hit the boy. And I don’t think you could have survived that,” Nicole said quietly.

  Jake nodded. “At first, I thought maybe it was me who took him down. There was so much shooting,” she whispered. “A day after my surgery, Rick told me that it wasn’t my bullet.” Jake tried to smile but failed. “It didn’t really matter at that point.”

  Nicole had tons of clinical statements she could make, but the look in Jake’s eyes told her that none were needed. So, instead, she squeezed Jake’s hand tightly and offered what comfort she could. She was finally rewarded with a genuine smile from Jake.

  “Thanks for listening.”

  “Anytime,” Nicole whispered.

  Jake pulled her hand away from Nicole and stood, taking their plates to the sink. “If you want to shower, go ahead. I’ll clean up dinner.”

  “Are you sure? You can go first.”

  “No, it’s fine. Go ahead.”

  Jake watched Nicole walk away, wondering why she’d been compelled to talk about that day. Three months had passed, going on four, but still, the memory was vivid. But she had to admit, her feelings weren’t quite as raw as they had been. She couldn’t help but smile. It was a cliche, but damn, it was true. Time heals. Her emotional wound wasn’t quite healed, but it was getting there. The guilt she’d shouldered at first had dissipated somewhat, but it wasn’t gone entirely. She wondered if it’d ever disappear completely.

  Cheyenne finally grew impatient as she leaned heavily against Jake’s leg. Jake reached down and ruffled her head, knowing that Cheyenne thought it was time for her nightly snack.

  “Ready for your bone?”

  Cheyenne danced excitedly and followed Jake to the pantry where she kept the bucket of dog treats.

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  Nicole stood under the hot water with eyes closed. Jake’s story had touched her deeply. She couldn’t say that she knew Jake well, but she knew her well enough to know that the guilt Jake carried most likely ran deep. She could hear it in her voice, see it in her eyes. And the dream was simply her subconscious attempt to alter the outcome of the shooting. And unfortunately, the outcome never changed.

  Nicole turned off the water and stepped out, wrapping a towel around her before moving to the sink to brush her teeth. She felt lucky, actually, to know Jake. Or to know her as well as she did. If their little tryst this summer hadn’t occurred, she and Jake would be nothing but strangers, and Nicole would most likely be staying with a friend. Or worse, trying to tough it out at home alone.

  But she was here, in the safe company of a cop. A cop who… God, made Nicole question her entire lesbian life. If it was Jake who turned her bones to liquid, no wonder she couldn’t work up an appetite for sex with one of the countless blind dates she’d been out on. Not a one of them was anything like Jake. And now here they were, alone, both of them clearly avoiding the subject of what happened in Nicole’s office earlier that day.

  Avoiding it, yes. But nonetheless, it was still there. She wondered if Jake regretted her momentary lack of control. Most likely.

  ———

  Jake was sitting quietly on the sofa when she heard the water turn off in the shower. Before she could stop them, images of a wet and naked Nicole flashed through her mind, and she closed her eyes, remembering. Sometimes, it felt like it was only yesterday that they touched. Nicole had been so… responsive, so ready.

  It had been more than a couple of months, but still, Jake couldn’t get it out of her mind, couldn’t get Nicole out of her mind. Perhaps that was why she hadn’t bothered going out, hadn’t bothered returning Heather’s phone calls. She didn’t want her memories—her very vivid memories—to be replaced just yet. And the little kissing episode in Nicole’s office hadn’t helped.

  “I lost it, Cheyenne,” she said quietly. “Couldn’t help myself.”

  And lost it was an understatement. When Nicole had responded, had moved against her, when Jake felt Nicole’s hands cup her breasts, all she wanted to do was touch flesh. And she knew without a doubt what she’d find. She knew Nicole would be wet for her. Sweet Jesus.

  She stood up quickly and walked into the kitchen, pausing long enough to splash her face with cold water. How in the world was she going to get through the night?

  “Hey.”

  Jake turned, her voice sticking in her throat as she looked at Nicole. Damp hair tucked behind ears, smooth skin, and a robe that barely reached to mid-thigh. Jake didn’t have to stare long to realize that Nicole was naked beneath the robe.

  “Shower’s all yours.”

  Jake nodded, then cleared her throat. “Thanks,” she managed as she hurried from the room, not stopping until she had the bathroom door closed firmly behind her.

  “You’re on a case, you’re on a case, you’re on a case,” she murmured over and over as she shed her clothes and stepped into the shower that only moments ago Nicole had been standing in— naked.

  Christ, you’re pathetic.

  But nonetheless, Jake turned on only the cold water, forcing herself to stand there until she regained some control over her body.

  ———

  Nicole watched as Jake nearly ran from the room, then looked at Cheyenne with raised eyebrows.

  “What was that all about?”

  Cheyenne simply cocked her head, as if to shrug.

  The bottle of wine they’d started still sat on the table, along with both their glasses. Nicole added some to hers and took it into the living room. Looking around, once more she thought how stark the room was. It was as if Jake was afraid to make it a home. Again she was curious as to what Jake’s cabin looked like. She could imagine it being warm, cozy. Not so sterile, like this duplex. She finally moved closer to the built-in bookcases, casually inspecting the handful of titles there. Most were travel books from Colorado and New Mexico, including hiking trails and mountain bike trails. A few books of fiction, their titles suggesting a mystery, and an old, worn dictionary. That was it.

  “Where’s your… stuff?” she whispered.

  When she heard the shower turn off, she glanced into the bedroom, smiling at Cheyenne who lay next to the bed, her eyes watching the closed door of the bathroom. Nicole moved to her, perching on the edge of the bed and casually reaching down to pet Cheyenne. She was rewarded with a cold nose that nuzzled her palm.

  When the bathroom door opened, she glanced up, and her heart tumbled in her chest. Jake walked out, totally naked except for a towel wrapped loosely at her hips. Nicole’s eyes traveled up her body, stopping only when she locked glances with Jake.

  “I’m sorry,” Jake murmured. “I didn’t think you’d be in here.”

  Nicole stood slowly, barely able to breathe as her heart hammered in her chest. Jake’s eyes were wide, and Nicole knew she was about to bolt back into the bathroom.

  “Don’t go,” Nicole whispered.

  “Nicole…”

  Nicol
e walked closer, blindly setting her wineglass on the dresser as her eyes held Jake’s. They were but a foot apart, and Nicole could almost hear Jake’s heart as it pounded against her chest. Her eyes finally dropped, staring at the breasts, the perfect breasts that had been haunting her for so long now. The small breasts were firm, taut—the nipples hard—practically begging for Nicole’s touch. And she couldn’t fight the urge to feel warm flesh.

  Jake watched as Nicole reached out a hand, seeing it tremble but unable to stop its movement. She didn’t want to stop it. She couldn’t. Her breathing was labored as she waited for Nicole’s touch. Finally, her eyes slammed shut as a warm hand covered one breast.

  “Jake… I can’t stand this anymore,” Nicole whispered. Her other hand reached lower, gently tugging at the towel, letting it fall helplessly to the floor.

  No, Jake couldn’t stand it, either. Common sense flew out the window, along with her resolve, and was immediately replaced with a blinding desire she didn’t even attempt to control. She could actually feel the electricity as it surged between them. And for the first time in her life, she literally ached for someone’s touch. She forgot about the case, forgot the reason Nicole was even here in the first place.

  Jake’s hand reached out slowly, tugging on the belt of Nicole’s robe. The robe fell open, revealing the body that Jake had been dreaming of for weeks, months. She raised her eyes, falling into the blue depths that looked back at her.

  “I’m on a case. And right now, I don’t care. I just want to make love to you,” Jake whispered.

  The words were spoken almost painfully, and Nicole suddenly realized that before, back in the mountains, they’d had sex. But now, now they knew each other, now they cared for each other. It was no longer just sex.

  Nicole took the one step that moved her into Jake’s arms. Flesh met flesh and they both moaned as gentle mouths found each other, tasting, remembering.

  But the fire that had consumed them in the mountains took over and hands moved against warm skin, touching, stroking, reacquainting. Jake finally let her desire take over, and she pulled Nicole flush against her, her tongue moving past Nicole’s lips, moaning as Nicole sucked it into her mouth.

  Nicole’s hands wouldn’t be still, and she slipped them lower, cupping Jake’s lean hips, molding their lower bodies together. Then her hands were captured and forced behind her own back. She leaned her head back, relinquishing control as Jake’s mouth moved across her throat, sucking lightly below her earlobe.

  “Jake… please.” Nicole freed her hands, then cupped Jake’s face and moved it lower. She groaned as a warm mouth finally found her breast. She felt the robe slip from her body, felt Jake’s hands as they danced across her skin, touching everywhere except the one place Nicole needed her the most. She whimpered when Jake’s mouth left her breast, then moaned when that same mouth took hers again.

  Suddenly, the bed was there beneath her, and Nicole’s thighs parted, welcoming Jake’s weight upon her. Her lower body rose up, aching to feel Jake’s touch.

  Jake could hardly breathe as her body lowered, inch by inch, coming closer and closer to the body she’d been craving. When Nicole’s thighs opened, Jake wanted to dive inside her, wanted to take her right then. Nicole’s soft hairs glistened with her wetness and Jake wanted nothing more than to have her mouth there, tast-ing, bringing Nicole to orgasm. But she let Nicole’s arms pull her close, sighing contently when her weight finally settled upon Nicole. She pressed her hips hard against Nicole, her own clit throbbing, aching. With her knees, she pushed Nicole’s thighs farther apart and her hips undulated, moving in rhythm with Nicole, hearing the gasps that Nicole breathed each time they came together, harder and harder, faster until Jake felt Nicole’s hands squeezing her arms, their breathing ragged. Jake slowed, smiling as Nicole urged her to continue.

  “Don’t stop,” Nicole whispered.

  “I’ve got to feel you.”

  Jake’s hand slid between them, finding the wetness that she knew would be there. Her fingers slipped past slick folds, entering Nicole as Nicole’s hips thrust higher.

  “Oh … yes.”

  With her hand between them, Jake’s hips again began to dance with Nicole. Nicole’s mouth opened, each breath matching the rhythm of their bodies, and Jake stared at Nicole’s face as it was transformed, pleasure evident with each thrust of her hips. Jake opened her thighs more, her clit hitting her own hand as she pounded into Nicole. She felt her orgasm build, afraid she would explode before Nicole was ready, but Nicole opened wider, her hips moving faster, meeting Jake again and again, until finally, her breath held and Jake watched the familiar convulsions that shook Nicole’s body, heard the glorious sounds that came from Nicole. She let go, her own orgasm matching Nicole’s as she let her breath out, sounds of pleasure echoing Nicole.

  Nicole lay still, her hands still clutched around Jake’s forearms. She finally released her hold, and Jake lowered herself to Nicole’s body, sliding her weight to the side as her lips gently touched Nicole’s.

  “We shouldn’t have done that,” Jake whispered as her fingers slipped out of Nicole.

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  Jake smiled against Nicole’s mouth, then laid down, resting her head against her palm as she leaned up. The other hand stroked Nicole’s breast, moving lower, making lazy circles on Nicole’s smooth belly.

  “Well, you know, I’m not your type and… damn, Nicole, you’re a part of a case of mine.”

  Nicole stopped Jake’s hand, then moved it higher, placing it on her breast, sighing when Jake’s fingers closed around it.

  “Despite my declaration that you’re not my type, and you saying that you don’t ever mix business with pleasure… Jake, we both knew this would happen. Didn’t we?”

  Jake dipped her head and lightly raked Nicole’s nipple with her tongue. “I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind,” Jake admitted. “I haven’t… I haven’t been with anyone since you. I haven’t wanted to.”

  Nicole touched Jake’s face, bringing her to her mouth. Their kisses were gentle, unhurried now, and Nicole relished the feel of Jake’s lips moving softly against her own. She didn’t protest when she felt Jake stir, felt Jake move between her legs. Two warm hands spread her thighs apart, and she drew a quick breath as Jake trailed kisses down her stomach. She wanted to urge her to hurry, she wanted to beg her to take her time. Nicole leaned her head back onto the pillow, eyes closed, anticipation causing her to nearly tremble as she felt Jake’s mouth move lower.

  “Jake …”

  Jake held Nicole by the hips, feeling the tremors that ran through Nicole’s body, all before Jake’s mouth even reached her. She nearly groaned as her mouth lowered. She knew exactly how Nicole would taste, knew exactly how Nicole’s hips would move against her face. Her tongue moved through her wetness, and she groaned as Nicole lifted her hips, urging Jake to take her. Jake’s mouth opened, and she covered Nicole, finding her clit and closing around it, sucking hard as Nicole moved against her.

  “Christ, Jake,” Nicole hissed as her fists clutched at the sheets. Jake’s hands moved over her hips to her stomach, holding her down as her mouth and tongue took her, took her to places no one had ever came near before. Nicole couldn’t stop the sounds of pleasure that came from her, and she knew she was panting, practically delirious as Jake sucked her clit into her mouth. It hit her so suddenly, she had no time to prepare, and she screamed out, her hips bucking against Jake’s face as she rose off the bed. “Jake… damn,” she murmured as Jake’s tongue left her. “I swear to God, I’m not a screamer,” Nicole whispered, still unable to open her eyes.

  “Oh, yeah?” Jake rolled on her back, pulling Nicole with her, opening her thighs to allow Nicole to settle between them. “That’s not what I remember.”

  Nicole laughed. “I seem to… lose control with you.”

  Jake’s hands traveled across Nicole’s back, cupping her hips and drawing her closer. “You don’t know how often I’ve though
t about the hot springs.”

  Nicole leaned closer, touching Jake’s mouth with her own. “I’ve thought about it daily,” she whispered. Then she captured Jake’s hands and held them down on the bed. “And now it’s my turn,” she murmured, as she moved down Jake’s body, her mouth and tongue wetting a path, pausing only briefly at her breasts before moving lower.

  Jake closed her eyes. I’m in so much trouble.

  CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

  Jake was showered and dressed, pacing quietly in the living room, wondering if she should wake Nicole or just let her sleep. She glanced at her watch again, letting out another heavy sigh. It was nearly nine o’clock. Any minute now, Rick would be calling, asking where the hell she was. And frankly, she was surprised that Catherine hadn’t called, worried about her boss.

  But hell, they hadn’t slept. Not really. Once they’d… well, once they started, they couldn’t stop. Just like at the hot springs. It didn’t matter that Jake knew it was a mistake. She was powerless to stop it. But she had to stop it now. Nicole was part of a goddamn case. What the hell had she been thinking?

  “Hey.”

  Jake turned quickly, crumbling at the sight of Nicole. The robe they’d discarded last night was again covering her body, but her hair, her lips… evidence of their lovemaking.

  “Good morning,” Jake managed. “It’s nearly nine.”

  “I’m sorry. I couldn’t wake up… last night…”

  “I know. It’s okay. But, we should probably get going.”

  Nicole frowned, crossing her arms around her waist. “What’s wrong, Jake?”

  “Nothing. Just… late for work.”

  Nicole took a step forward, then stopped. “Jake, what’s on your mind? Talk to me.”

  Jake let her shoulders fall. Shit. “Last night… last night was a mistake.”

  “A mistake?”

  “Nicole, you’re a huge part of this case. We can’t be… involved.“

  “I trust you more than anyone, Jake. I don’t want you off this case. Is that what you mean?”