Brothers in Blue: Matt

by Jeanne St. James

  She was perfect.

  Her head rose and she peered over her shoulder when he stepped away to pull out one of the kitchen chairs. He shoved his BDU’s down to his ankles and stepped out of them, his hard-on bobbing painfully with each movement he made. He sat on the wooden chair and held out a hand to her. “Come sit on me.”

  Without hesitation she came over and straddled him, perching above him. He grabbed the root of his cock, placing it at her entrance and when he held it perfectly aligned, she sank down upon him with a shaky sigh. He closed his eyes and held his breath as her wet heat enveloped him. The weight of her body pushed him inside her as far as was possible. Balls deep, he blew out a breath before opening his eyes.

  Placing her hands on his shoulders, she gazed down into his face. And then she smiled, which made his cock twitch deep within her. When she began to move, she controlled the pace.

  She started excruciatingly slow, rising and falling on him. Tilting and circling her hips. He released her waist and brushed his thumbs over her nipples, marveling how hard the flesh could become. He sucked a nipple deep into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the tip, flicking it. Little noises escaped her with each lift and lower of her body.

  Oh fuck, he belonged inside of her. She had been made for him. Why did he find her too late? Why couldn’t he have met her before he became too broken to fix?

  He pressed his mouth against her other nipple, scraping his teeth over the peak. She cried out and ground down upon him, drawing a gasp from him.

  She repeated something over and over. His name. “Matt… Matt… Matt…”

  His chest tightened as he looked up at her. She tried to make eye contact, attempting a connection. He couldn’t allow that to happen. If he did, he could be…would be lost.

  And maybe this time forever.

  He couldn’t take any more pain, or loss, or—

  She cried out in pleasure and, most likely, frustration at him closing himself off. But he couldn’t offer any more than what this was. He buried his face between her breasts and groaned as she ground down upon him harder, working to drive herself over the edge.

  He slipped a hand between them to find her slick clit. He pushed the sensitive nub, pressing, circling until she tensed above him. Her nails dug into the skin of his shoulders and her inner walls squeezed him tight. When the first ripple surrounded him, he let himself go with her. It felt like a dam shattering and waves broke over them both.

  One heartbeat, two, and then she collapsed against him, boneless. Her warm breath beat a tattoo against his ear. He closed his eyes and held her for a moment. Only for a moment would he allow this weakness before wrapping his fingers around her waist and lifting her from his lap. They both cleaned up in silence.

  As she tightened the robe’s sash around her, she asked, “Hungry?”

  He couldn’t see her face, but he heard the disappointment in her voice. Matt glanced at the forgotten lasagna on the counter. “Always.”

  Chapter 8

  What do you mean it’s not covered one hundred percent? Why the hell am I paying those high premiums for then?”

  Carly paced the sunroom, her cell phone gripped so tightly in her hand it caused her fingers to cramp. She fought the urge to throw it across the room.

  But then she’d have to buy another one.

  At this rate, from what the insurance agent spewed on the other end of the phone, they would only cover a portion of a new vehicle for her. She wanted to laugh. No, not a new vehicle. Only a portion of a new-to-her vehicle. So much for having full coverage. Fucking insurance companies. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.

  Kind of like men.

  She saw the object of her thoughts come around the side of the house and slip into his tent. She glanced at her watch; he must have just gotten home from his shift.

  “You know, I live in northern Pennsylvania where you need an SUV in the winter. Oh, you live here too? Well, good. And guess what, I’m a doctor and I need to get to the hospital in emergencies—” She paused, listening to the lame excuses on the other end of the phone. “Yes, well, I can’t afford another SUV with what your payout is. I may be able to afford a 1988 Escort.”

  Carly stepped up to the sunroom window, watching Matt exit his tent, secure it, and head toward the house.

  Shit.

  “Really? That’s how you’re going to leave it? With me in the lurch. A single woman struggling to make ends meet?”

  Carly cursed under her breath as the back door to the sunroom opened and Matt stepped inside, stopping when he noticed her.

  “Yes, I know I’m a doctor, thanks for reminding me. That doesn’t mean we all can afford a Mercedes or BMW. Some of us try to live within our means.”

  Matt had his hands on his hips and his brows knitted together as he watched her pace.

  “Okay, whatever. See if I use your company to insure my new 1979 Pinto station wagon.” She pushed the End button, wishing she had an old land line so she could slam the receiver down. It would have given her a little more satisfaction than tapping fiercely on a cell phone screen.

  She spun on her heels to face him across the room. “Fucking insurance company is only covering eighty percent of the value of my Honda. Now I need to find something I can afford with that pittance.” She dragged a hand through her hair, and cursed.

  “I’m sure we can find you something.”

  We? She cocked an eyebrow at him. Since when were they a “we?”

  They weren’t. She reminded herself of that every night when, after they had sex, he slinked back to his damn tent. He hadn’t slept in her bed once. Because, heaven forbid, the world might collapse if they actually did some after-sex cuddling.

  The sex was great and all, but sometimes a woman needed a little more. And she didn’t mean more as in an engagement ring. She simply wanted a little spooning. Or him tucking her against his side.

  Or… What the fuck.

  She was looking at the wrong man for that. He had made that perfectly clear. Suck it up, buttercup, or find a new lay.

  “Yes, I’m sure I can find something. Though it’ll wipe out my savings.” She plopped onto the couch and dropped her head in her hands. This was the last thing she needed. She was slowly building up her funds even with sending her parents money every month to help them out, and now with the super cheap rent, she hoped her account would grow even faster.

  But no.

  Damn deer.

  She wanted to scream, but let out a low, frustrated wail instead.

  The couch sank beside her. He wrapped his fingers around her wrists pulling her hands away from her face. “What are you saving up for? A house?”

  “No.”

  Holy crap, she did not want to have this conversation right now after fighting with the insurance company. He got spooked when she tried to maintain eye contact during sex. Last thing he needed was for her to drop the B-word.

  “Carly, what are you saving up for?”

  She could lie.

  Or she could just tell him the truth and let the chips fall where they may. “A baby.”

  “You’re going to buy a baby?”

  She frowned at his question. “No, I want to adopt one.”

  “Why the hell would you want to do that?”

  Her mouth fell open, then she shut it and glared at him. “You know, Matt, not everyone is like you. I actually want to have a child. I know that may be hard for you to understand.”

  She pulled her hands from him and stood up, pacing the room all over again. She needed to burn off her frustration at the situation. Too bad she wasn’t a runner, or she’d go for a long, exhausting run. She may have long legs, but they were definitely not made for running or jogging.

  “I realize that some people want to have—”

  She cut him off with a wave of her hand. “I have two problems. One is the money and the second is not having a permanent home and a spouse. Maybe that’s three.” She scrubbed her hands over her face and moa
ned. “They want adoptive parents to have stability. A home. I have none of it!”

  She stopped in front of him. She waited for him to say something but he stayed quiet, his gaze not even focused on her. He seemed stuck somewhere inside his head.

  She just wanted to shake him sometimes to snap him out of it. “People throw away their babies every day. They leave them in hospitals or, hell, in trash cans. And I can’t even get one. Not one! I have all this love to give and no one to give it to.” She sucked in a breath. “I can’t even give it to you.”

  Oh fuck. She wanted to pound the heel of her palm against her forehead at the slip of her tongue. Especially when he stiffened. And that pissed her off even more.

  “Don’t worry, I’m not professing my love to you, asshole.” She stomped out of the room.

  Matt sat in the dark on the edge of his cot. He had no desire to light any of the lanterns. He brushed a hand over his hair in frustration.

  Watching Carly melt down over her finances, and then over her desire to have a child had hit him harder than expected. After she stomped out of the room, he left and went to the diner for dinner by himself. He had a brief thought of heading to his parents’ house, but wasn’t in the mood to deal with them.

  Now he sat here. Alone.

  The quiet didn’t help. Thoughts raced through his mind at warp speed. Flashes of Carly. Flashes of his tours. Memories he fought hard to keep at bay.

  He’d been practically numb—shut-down—when the Marines discharged him. He had to be, or he would have lost his mind.

  The therapist explained that it had been his coping mechanism… Shutting people and things out.

  But something changed.

  “Matt.”

  That something might be the person at the entrance to his quarters.

  “Matt,” she called again through the thick canvas. Her voice sounded raw, like she had been crying. “I’d knock but there’s no door. Can I come in?”

  He fought down the panic threatening to bubble up. She wanted to come into his quarters, into his space. Even in the dark, he knew everything was in order, everything in its place. Everything where it belonged.

  A pain shot up his arm and he realized he clenched his fists tight. He jumped to his feet and called out, “No. I’ll be right out.”

  He heard her make a noise on the other side of the flap. However, he wasn’t going to let her in. He couldn’t.

  With a deep breath, he slipped through the flap, securing it behind him. The light coming from the sunroom windows reflected off her blonde hair, but her face remained shadowed. He stood inches from her, surrounded by her sweet feminine scent. “What’s the matter?”

  “Nothing.” She shook her head. “Everything. I wanted to apologize.”

  “For what?”

  “Earlier.”

  He tipped her chin up toward him, wishing he could see her face more clearly. “Nothing to apologize for.” He brushed a strand of hair off her cheek and felt the wetness. She not only had been crying, she still was.

  He closed his eyes and cursed to himself.

  Carly was a strong woman, and to see her lose herself like this killed him. Though he understood the feeling. When things got overwhelming, you either shut down or you looked for comfort.

  Clearly, she came searching for comfort.

  From him.

  Anyone who knew him would find that laughable. Even he, himself, did. But here she was, asking him to give her something he may not be able to give. And he had warned her.

  He couldn’t be her everything. He just couldn’t.

  Gathering her close, he laid a gentle kiss on her forehead. Once he wrapped her in his arms, her body heaved against him as her sobbing started in earnest.

  He whispered against her ear, “It will be all right. We’ll figure it out.”

  “It’s so stupid,” she sobbed. “It’s just a damn car.”

  “It’s not just the car.” He rubbed her back. This breakdown was hardly about a car. It was about losing control of her life. Her financial burdens. Her desire to have a child of her own.

  He couldn’t help her. Hell, sometimes he couldn’t help himself. He pressed his nose into her hair and it smelled like coconut. Like the Caribbean, a place she wanted to travel to one day, but couldn’t afford to.

  He bent down to hook her knees and swung her up into his arms. She let out a little yip and he got a better grip before striding toward the house.

  “Put me down! You can’t carry me.”

  “I can and I will,” was all he said, determined to prove her wrong. “Turn the knob,” he told her as he climbed the three steps to the back door. When she did, he kicked the door open, spun on his heels, and kicked it shut again with a bang.

  He placed her on the couch and settled himself next to her before she could move to get up. He laid them both down and gathered her in his arms again, tucking her still-damp face against his neck.

  “Matt,” she murmured against his skin.

  “Shh.” He closed his eyes, fighting the unwanted feelings that struggled to surface. Especially when she sighed and relaxed her body into his.

  He could comfort her. He could do it. Even if only for a little while.

  Chapter 9

  Something hard and hot pressed against her ass. She came awake with a start. The pinkish glow from the rising sun crept into the sunroom. Matt’s cock wasn’t the only thing stiff. She shifted to get some relief for her screaming muscles, but her movement only caused Matt’s arm to lock down tighter around her waist as he pulled her closer to his chest. Strands of hair tickled her ear as they moved back and forth with his steady breathing.

  The apprehension she felt last night over her finances, her car, her inability to get pregnant, seemed to have dissipated with Matt’s solid body wrapped around her. Something could be said about the power of a simple hug. Or sexual release.

  Or both.

  She nudged her butt against his erection. If he wasn’t awake, at least that part of his body sure was. But she got no other reaction.

  She pushed against him again, this time giving her hips a little circle. And another, just to make sure he was paying attention.

  His breathing shallowed and the hand draped around her hip clenched, his fingers holding her in place. She ground against him harder and he released a guttural sound from the back of his throat that instantly turned her nipples to points.

  “We didn’t—” Her words caught in her throat. She tried again. “We didn’t have sex last night.”

  “No, we didn’t.” His voice sounded low, husky, whether from non-use or arousal, she didn’t know. Either way, it sent a thrill all the way to her toes.

  “What are you going to do about it?” she asked.

  His chuckle made her smile.

  “What are you going to do about it?” he countered, one hand cupping her breast over her shirt. “Tell me what you’re going to do to me.”

  “Fuck you,” Carly murmured, wishing she could see his face.

  “You gotta be more specific than that.”

  “Really?”

  “Really,” he confirmed.

  She pushed away from him and up to a seat. Looking over her shoulder, she said, “Get naked. Now.”

  They both climbed to their feet and slowly undressed while facing each other. Their gazes met and never wavered, even when he pushed his BDUs down his hips. She fought the urge to look below his waist, not wanting to break the eye contact.

  “I’m naked,” he announced.

  “So you are.” She kept a smile from her face and pointed to the couch. “Sit.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” And he sat, his erection pointing towards the ceiling.

  She stepped between his thighs and pushed them wider with her knee until she stood directly over him, looking down into his face. His eyes became dark, his lids heavy, his expression tight.

  “This is what I’m going to do to you… I will sit on your cock and ride you hard. I will dig my nails into you
r skin, leaving marks. I will take your mouth and leave you starved for oxygen. I will bite you hard enough so you’ll remember this later today, even into tomorrow. And you will not say no. You will let me do it. You will ask me for more. And then when I’m done, once I’ve received my satisfaction, then, and only then, I’ll let you come. Do you understand me?”

  Her own words surprised her, excited her. She didn’t know where this came from. She had never been this demanding with a man before. But watching a flush work up his chest and anticipation flash in his eyes, she realized he wanted it like this. This did it for him.

  He wanted to be told what to do.

  “Do you understand me, Marine?”

  His nostrils flared and his fingers flexed on his thighs. He barked, “Ma’am, yes, ma’am!”

  Goosebumps broke out all over her body at the ferocity of his answer. She gave him a sharp nod and climbed onto the couch to straddle his thighs. She clung to his shoulders as she braced herself to rise above him.

  He stared straight ahead.

  “Look at me,” she commanded.

  He stared up into her face, a muscle in his jaw jumping wildly. As she lowered herself slowly, he quickly reached under her to align himself with her opening. When the crown of his cock nudged her entrance, she closed her eyes and held herself still, letting the desire to sink down upon him drive her to the point of unbearable.

  Her eyes popped open. “Soldier—”

  “I’m not a soldier, I’m a Marine,” he corrected her between gritted teeth.

  “You are what I say you are”

  His body tensed and his fingers dug into the flesh at her hips.

  “And right now you’re mine.” She dropped to his lap, her weight driving him deep. With a gasp, she clenched him tight within her. Her body quivered with need as it took every inch of his hardness.

  Matt lowered his head, capturing a hard nipple in his mouth, sucking it between his lips. With an arch to her back, she tilted her hips slightly, seating him deeper. Teeth scraped against her nipple, sending a ripple through her all the way to her core. Then she began to move, rising and falling, in complete control of the pace. He took two handfuls of her ass and squeezed.