Jayson: A New Adult / Coming of Age Romance

by Hughes, Nicole

  “What happened to your dad?” She’d never talked about him, other than sharing a few memories of her childhood—like the time he took her to Ghirardelli’s chocolate factory for her fifth birthday and pretended the guy in charge was Willy Wonka. I think I would have liked her dad.

  “Hit and run…He stopped to help a stranded motorist and, as he was crossing the street, another vehicle struck him. He died on impact. I was the only one who could be there for my mother. I became her confidante—almost her equal, in as much as I had to mature very quickly to understand the complexities of her brittle mind. She shut everyone else out, and her life kind of spiraled out of control. It got to the point I could do less and less for her.”

  Her voice drops. “When I was fourteen, my mother tried to kill herself.”

  “I’m so sorry, Kitrina. I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you.” She puts her fingers to my mouth to hush me so she can finish her tale. I stroke a strand of hair from the side of her face and rock her gently in my arms. Her gaze bores into the wall, and she speaks quietly, hollowly, of the devastating loss of her father.

  “She was admitted into a psych ward at the very hospital where she was working, and I was shipped off to Idaho to spend a few months with my paternal grandparents. They were nice to me, but they were still grieving too and anyway… having my mother in the loony bin made me feel like I had somehow failed her. I wasn’t enough for her to want to keep living. We nearly lost the house. When that happened, Candace snapped out of her depression, but she grew increasingly fearful for my well-being. It bordered on paranoia.”

  “She hovers because she worries she’ll lose you, too,” I reply, wiping the tears from her eyes with my thumbs. Kitrina nods, then lifts her chin.

  “As much as I understand her motivations, I’m ready to have a life of my own. I’ve spent too long paying penance for her nervous breakdown, working extra hard to do whatever I thought she might need and to be whoever she needed me to be. Can you understand that?”

  “Yeah, actually I do.” I’ve been paying penance ever since I got locked away. I had to become the person my brothers needed me to be, even if it meant deprioritizing myself. My decision to change was as a result of recognizing my choices were bringing me closer and closer to destruction. Kit—well, she didn’t have much of a choice.

  * * *

  The next morning when I walk into my office, I feel not just responsible for Momma, Castiel, Devon and Ashby. I’m responsible for Kitrina, too. Am I really ready for that?

  Her mom’s been running her life for so long that it must be scary for her to start doing things on her own, which is something I never really considered. I saw Kit as adorably naïve. I didn’t fault her for it, but I felt she had a lot of growing up to do. How was she supposed to grow with Candace holding the reins? Looking at the past two months of rough seas together, it’s a wonder Kitrina didn’t require my help sooner.

  Minnie, my assistant, taps on my open door. “Heads up. You’ve got company.”

  “Is it a client?” I ask. Minnie doesn’t have time to answer before the intruder barges into my office, takes a look around with a sniff and sits cross-legged in the only other chair as if she owns the place.

  “Mrs. Schneider,” I greet her warily. I’m instantly put on guard by her presence. “Business or pleasure?”

  “Facile of you to ask. I’ve come to bring you this.” Candace drops a thin file folder on my desk. It almost looks empty, but I know otherwise. Our eyes meet.

  “What’s this?” I hesitate to pick it up.

  “Consider it a late Christmas gift. Provided, of course, we can come to some type of agreement.”

  “I usually don’t make deals with the devil.”

  “Ha! You think you’re clever, don’t you? Jayson Zephyr, I see right through your pretty little pretend life on the straight and narrow. Thanks to, shall we say, a mutual friend…I know a lot about your years of running from the cops, drinking and driving. And, I have a hunch Kit doesn’t know. My daughter feels she has to distance herself from me in order to find her own way, and I have no doubt you’re to blame for the estrangement. I hope you’re proud of yourself.”

  “For the record, Mrs. Schneider, I did everything in my power to keep that from happening.”

  “Everything except leave her alone in the first place. To tell the truth, I’m surprised at you, Mr. Zephyr. From what Lamont says, your stint in kiddie jail made you a new man—a responsible, upstanding citizen, noble and forthright. You managed to get yourself into college and earned a degree. Given your unique history, I commend you for triumphing over obstacles, unlike many men I’ve encountered.”

  “…Thank you for noticing. I can’t help but wonder why that isn’t enough to elevate me in your esteem. You seem like a logical, sensible woman.”

  “That I am, which is why I’m willing to put this deal on the table. Stay away from my daughter, Mr. Zephyr. I don’t care what you have to say to her or do, but you break it off. You and I both know she wasn’t ready for it, and your charming persuasion is deterring her from more important tasks, like finishing school and gaining real independence, not this mock dress-up game she's been playing at. I’m sure you realize by now, Mr. Zephyr, that Kit is an impressionable, easily beguiled young girl. Your older age and greater experience wooed her just as surely as it should have warned you to stay away.”

  I look away. Her summation matches thoughts I’ve tried to ignore and removes any argument on my part. It’s true, I recognized early on Kitrina lacked experience. I never intended to use her greenness against her, though. Yet, there is a possibility that I unwittingly reaped benefits from it. “What do you propose to trade in exchange for me staying away from Kit?” I ask quietly. I calculatingly look up from beneath hooded eyes.

  Candace Schneider smiles and opens the folder she brought in with her. Instead of the copies of my criminal history that I suspected would be inside, the sheaf of papers contain names, addresses and phone numbers of a wide network of contacts directly linked to the construction industry. “With my contacts and investment, Jayson Zephyr, this lovely little aluminum shack could morph into a franchise of Zephyr Brothers Construction companies dotting the nation. I can get you in contact with the people to take this small business large scale.”

  “And if I don’t leave Kit alone?”

  She slides the folder back to her side of the desk and places it in her lap, hands clasped above it. “You already know how that will end.” She chuckles raspily. It’s like nails clawing down a chalkboard.

  “Enlighten me,” I prompt impatiently.

  “I’ll tell her everything you haven’t had the balls to say, and I won’t pretty it up, Jayson. Don’t think you can get the jump on me by telling her yourself, because I am infinitely creative in my ability to ruin you. This wonderful list I’m holding? Every name on it will be made aware of your unsavory past, effectively blackballing you from ever working with any of them. The paltry clientele you already have will abandon you even faster. Oh, Mr. Zephyr.” She tsks and shakes her head patronizingly. “Nobody likes to work with a man without integrity, a man who essentially presents himself one way when he has an altogether different side. What’s done in the dark, when it comes to the light, looks so much uglier for the secrecy.”

  “You underestimate my standing within this community,” I bluff. “I have friends who will back me, vouch for me.”

  “Yes, well, that may be so but it remains to be seen. Certainly, if you’re willing to risk it just for a pretty piece of tail, who am I to stop you?” Her voice is light and I want to smash my fist in her mouth. I wonder if she knows, speaking of risk, the risk she takes speaking of Kit like this to me? “I must be on my way. The offer is on the table until noon tomorrow. That should give you ample time to tie up any loose ends, should you choose to accept my generous assistance in making Zephyr Brothers Construction a household name.” Candace collects her folder and rises to leave. She holds the folder to her
chest and flashes a false, benevolent smile.

  I walk to the door and open it for good measure. “Is there anything else, Mrs. Schneider? I’m a busy man.”

  She breezes past me and leaves a trail of cloying perfume, her beige dress suit and pearls completely out of place in the dusty warehouse. “I’m sure a smart man like you won’t waste time making the wrong choice. Kitrina is destined to achieve great success. She will do it, I have no doubt. And the minute she realizes her full potential, she will realize where you fall short. She deserves a much better man than you and she will realize that eventually. Either way, you’re going to lose her. Better to gain something in return in the process. Goodbye, Mr. Zephyr.”

  I can feel when she exits the building. All the joy goes with her, and she leaves a miasma of despair as thick as her perfume. I’m left with a set of options, neither one appealing. Staring at the wall, I blink and the image blurs. I am not a crier or a quitter, but the position I’m in takes a lot out of me. I am also no romantic. I’m pragmatic. Candace Schneider made all the sense in the world when she told me that either way I’d lose something. I just wish she wasn’t right.

  Chapter 31

  JAYSON

  “I hope you told me all that to say you stood up to her instead of backing down.” Momma frowns as she snaps the buttons on the remote control, powering through the channels without pause. She grumbles under her breath about nothing good on TV.

  I sit back next to her on the sofa and glare at the wall. “I told you because I know you got your hopes up when you met Kit. I told you so you could see why I’m not going down that road,” I respond.

  “I didn’t raise my boys to let anybody come in and tell them to stay in their place, Jayson Zephyr. That woman has no right to blackmail you. It’s a crime. How could you let her get away with this?”

  I lean forward and take the remote from her hands. Closing my fingers around hers, I look earnestly into her eyes. “Momma, listen to me. Candace Schneider could ruin everything I’ve spent the past half a decade building, and I won’t stand by and let that happen. Not even for Kit. Love isn’t always the answer.”

  “It is.”

  “It ain’t, Momma!” I refute. “What happens if Zephyr Brothers shuts down? Huh? What are Dev and Cast gonna do? How’s that gonna affect Ashby? He’s in school right now trying to get a degree so he can join us. You mean to tell me you think I should screw over my brothers because I love her? Put yourself in my shoes, Momma. I’ve got too many people depending on me. Now, Kit…” I falter and my voice breaks when I say her name. I swallow thickly and look down, unable to meet Momma’s unwavering gaze.

  “Kit will be just fine. She’ll get her degree and be that big time TV personality she wants to be. Some smooth talking actor will probably see her on the red carpet and whisk her off to Paris to get married. Fact is, she’ll be better off without me. Better to get it over with now than to wait and let the inevitable happen.”

  Sabine Zephyr’s lips tremble, she’s clenching her jaw so tight. She’s a small woman, but fierce. She sits up straight and squares her shoulders, though it must hurt like the dickens. She hasn’t taken a pain pill in days, and her back has been a constant source of pain since the injury that left her nearly bedbound.

  “Calm down, Momma. Sit back, now.” I put a sofa cushion behind her and ease her into a reclining position.

  She clasps my forearm. “Son, you can spend your whole life ignoring what you want and need, but that won’t take away the wants and needs. You don’t want to get to be my age, realizing what all you sent off trying to ignore the voice that screams inside you to keep something for yourself. You think I don’t know about sacrificing for the sake of everybody else’s wellbeing? Half the time what makes you happy and what makes everybody else happy is the same damn thing, but you’re too blind to see it.”

  “Momma, this isn’t the same.”

  “Hear me out. Your father was a fine, good-looking man. I fell in love with him on sight, and I was just nineteen years old when I met him; so when I say I fell, I mean I fell hard. The problem was I couldn’t stay with your father.”

  “Of course not, no one would. He was a drug addict and a swindler.”

  She smiles sadly. I instantly regret my harsh assessment, but Momma knows I was never close to the man. All he ever gave us was heartbreak and empty promises. She shakes her head. “I’m not talking about Bill Zephyr, son.”

  The words give me pause. I stare at her in disbelief. “Then, who are you talking about?” I ask.

  She sighs tremulously. “I’m talking about Blaise Stephens. He was a married man. Our relationship had to be kept secret because he didn’t want to lose his family. That didn’t stop us from loving each other.”

  “Blaise Stephens?” I repeat. “Oh my God.”

  “Yep. He lived right next door to us when you boys were kids, him and his wife.”

  “And, his son,” I croak. “Lamont Stephens. We were friends.”

  “Jayson, I gave up the man I loved to do what I thought was right for everyone else involved. When I found out I was pregnant with you, I broke it off with Blaise. I felt it was best for him to work things out with his wife. They were so unhappy together. I-I didn’t want to be the cause of that. I didn’t understand very much about marriage then, how hard it is under the best of circumstances, and I felt so ashamed of sleeping with a married man. That’s not how I was raised. Getting pregnant knocked some sense into me—that’s the way I saw it anyway. Really, it just scared me. To this day I have no idea whether Blaise’s wife ever knew.”

  “Are you saying…are you saying Blaise Stephens’ is my father? Lamont, he’s my brother? But, what about Da…the man who raised me?”

  She nods. “Bill Zephyr said he liked my hair. Can you believe that? Said my hair turned his eye.”

  “Did he know?”

  “Yes. By the time I started to show, everybody naturally thought you were his, and we got married to make everything legit. He told me he loved me no matter what and he’d raise you as his own. I think I stayed with him so long out of appreciation for that single act. But, Blaise, he knew too. He came to me a few months after you were born and asked me if I’d leave Bill if he divorced his wife for me. I told him flat out that I wouldn’t. The right thing for everybody was for us to pretend we never knew each other.”

  I stare at her blankly, connecting the dots and figuring out some things that had always puzzled me. When I was a kid, Bill Zephyr was particularly hard on me versus the other boys. I always thought it was because I was the eldest. Could he have resented me for not being his? I remember Momma wouldn’t let me go hang out at Lamont’s house; he had to come to ours. And, I remember one weird evening Mr. Stephens grabbed me by the chin and stared me hard in the face. I shoved him off, thinking he was acting crazy because he was drunk. Was he trying to see himself in me? Sweet shit, I never expected this. Memories of the man rush through my head. I didn’t like the guy I thought was my father. But Mr. Stephens was never my idea of a good dad.

  “In the end,” Momma continues, “Blaise wound up hitting the bottle pretty hard trying to escape the life that he didn’t really want. I wound up like this. Four boys with a daddy in jail, like so many other poor souls from that wretched area. I made the best of it, Jayson. But, it was small consolation knowing I did what I thought was ‘right’ rather than following my own heart. I kept wondering if things would be different had I chosen the other option.”

  A painful lump fills my throat. “Why did you never tell me?” I ask. Lamont’s animosity towards me makes sense if he already knows the truth. He might blame me in some way for what happened to his family. After I got out of the detention center, I discovered Monty and his mom had moved in with relatives. Mr. Stephens had drunk himself into a coma that he never came out of. My father, Blaise Stephens, died when I was eighteen. I cover my face and groan in disbelief, wrestling with emotions. “T-this is too much.”

  “I never told you because
it didn’t matter, Jay. Knowledge of the road not taken would’ve only made you bitter, wondering the same thing as me, how things might be different. I’m telling you now because I don’t want you to make the same mistake as me. What Mrs. Schneider is suggesting is wrong. You need to tell Kit the truth about you. As for the business, you’ve gotten this far without a handout. You can go even further, if you have faith in yourself.”

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “Oh, but it is. You’re the one who’s making things complicated.”

  “Momma, I gotta go. Kit…she’s expecting me to be there when she gets off work. Will you be alright with just Ashby? I won’t be back until tomorrow evening sometime.”

  “Take your time. I’ll be good without you here. Jayson, think about what I told you.”

  “How can I not? You told me everything I thought about myself was a lie.”

  “Not everything. You’re still an intelligent, responsible, good-looking man. Nobody can take that away from you. Not even Candace Schneider. Not even you.”

  I leave my apartment with my head filled with a thousand unanswered questions about my past. But, I’m certain of one thing. Momma’s story doesn’t change what I have to do. I have to leave Kitrina Schneider. It’s for her own good.

  KITRINA

  “Is it time to clock out yet? Thank God my retraining is over with, and I can ditch the senior sales rep following me around everywhere. Hank says I’m stuck on probation another week, though. Tonight feels like the longest shift ever!” I complain.

  Grace, back from her trip home in time for the semester to start, follows me into the break room during a lull in the post New Year’s shopping rush. “Tell me about it. Every time I get the line down, another crowd comes in. And, don’t get me started on the customer service desk. I had five people trying to return used Christmas decorations today. Who does that?” Her phone chirps, and she hurriedly pulls it out. The slow smile that spreads across her face tells me exactly who is texting her.