Ghost of a Chance

by Jade Falconer

  Mostly, they looked like tourist traps. Ryan didn't want everyone to think he was a fool, but he needed something warm to wear. “What's Marks and Spencer's?” he asked, seeing a store that looked like a mini version of a department store.

  James steered them toward it. “It's a chain store. There's about a million of them, big ones in the cities, smaller ones in smaller towns. You might find something there, but it's mostly old lady and kid stuff."

  Ryan stepped inside, noticing that James held the door for him. He appreciated those little gestures. James would be an amazing boyfriend, he could tell. If he was into guys, that was.

  Instantly, Ryan was struck by the foreign-ness of everything. Everything seemed more compact and efficient, somehow. The displays, the aisles, the shopping baskets. He wandered through a small perfume and cosmetic section, nothing he would buy. Detergent and gasoline should be economical, not makeup. Beyond that were clothes, divided into children's, women's, and men's from left to right across the back of the store. Ryan made a show of heading towards the men's section, but something in the front of the women's section caught his eye. It looked like new merchandise, a charcoal gray sweater. He touched it and if felt like one of those stuffed animals they made for newborn babies. He nibbled his lip and looked at James, wondering if he would think that was too outrageous for the small town. “Feel this,” he said, offering up a sleeve to convince the silent critic in his head that he was projecting onto his new friend.

  James reached out and touched the soft fabric, hand accidentally brushing against Ryan's in the process. “Very soft,” he said. “Nice color."

  Ryan flipped through them and found an extra large and held it up against his chest. “I think that'll fit, don't you?” he asked. He looked down at the sweater and then up at James. “You know, just a couple of things so I don't freeze to death. I can order stuff online, too, but that might take a little while."

  James looked at the sweater. “Might be too big,” he offered.

  Ryan smirked a little. He did tend to wear his clothes tight. He picked up a large instead and held it up, then looked up at James. “I guess I could try it on in the men's department, couldn't I?” he asked. “Or would that freak people out?” He wasn't sure what would rankle the locals. The only ones he'd even seen had been at the bar two nights before.

  James shrugged. “I don't see why not,” he agreed. “It's not really that far away.” He pointed out the men's dressing rooms just another section over. “Anything else in the women's department you want to try on?” he teased, smiling.

  Ryan picked up a pink and black striped sweater, and held it up against himself. “What do you think?” But it was wool, and Ryan wasn't sure about wool. It was one of those indeterminate things, like honey. Still, it was the sort of thing he would have had no problem wearing in Hollywood.

  James glanced down at the sweater, then back at Ryan. “I think it's a bit much. Though, of course, it would look great on you."

  Ryan put it down. “Yeah, looks too much like one I already have, though,” he said with a wink. Then he slipped past James, quite close, and sashayed over to the men's department. The selections there were even more boring, and he found himself looking at the coats. There was one that seemed not too bad. Heavy black polar fleece. He picked one out and unzipped his fuzzy jacket, pulling it off and trying on the coat right in the aisle. It was very warm. “Mmm, I think I'll get one of these,” he said, turning to James. “Does it look okay?"

  "A bit on the traditional side, but it will keep you warm,” agreed James. “I think you should get it. They probably have scarves to match, too,” he suggested.

  "Ooh, scarves are cute!” He pulled off the coat and hung it back up. “Would you find me one while I try on the sweater? I bet you'd look hot in a scarf, too.” He grinned at James and headed off to the dressing room with the woman's sweater.

  Ryan stepped out, wearing the sweater, to look in the three-way mirror just as James walked in. The soft gray fabric clung to him without being tight. He pulled the sleeves down over his wrists and saw James in the mirror's reflection. “I think it looks okay.” He folded his arms around him. “It's really cuddly.” He'd never felt anything so soft.

  "It looks great,” James said, a little hoarsely.

  He turned to face James and noticed the scarf in his hand. “Oh. Is that for me?” he asked, smiling at him. It was a nice scarf, just his kind of thing—pink and black like the sweater he hadn't chosen.

  "Yes,” he said, holding it out. “To make up for not getting that other sweater,” he explained.

  Ryan took the scarf and wrapped it around his neck, pulling his long hair out of it and letting it tumble freely down his back. He turned back to the mirror. “Definitely,” he nodded. “It makes the outfit.” He pulled the scarf off and slipped back into the booth to put his clothes back on. He came back out a moment later, carrying the sweater and scarf. “I think that'll take care of me for now.” He took the coat off the rack and headed for the checkout.

  James waited while Ryan paid for his purchases, then said, “What else do you need?"

  "Don't you wanna stop at your place?” He definitely wanted James to stay again. “And maybe we could get some more groceries. You know, for a few days.” He was also curious to see James’ home. Where someone lived said a lot about them.

  James nodded. “We should go by my place. I probably smell bad by now, sorry.” He smiled at Ryan.

  As they walked to the car again, Ryan smirked. “Yes, you're offending my aristocratic sensibilities.” He laughed a little and got into the car. “You should bring some clothes to work on the car, too. I mean, if you want to. You know you can drop me at home and take off whenever, right? I might seem helpless, but I won't starve to death or anything if you abandon me,” he sniffled like he was crying and wiped an imaginary tear from the corner of his eye.

  "What? And have that sort of thing on my conscience? Never,” James smiled, driving them to his flat. The building had probably once been a single home, but it was now divided into four apartments. The gravel driveway crunched under the tires of the car as they pulled in.

  James led Ryan up a narrow, creaky set of stairs to a door marked ‘2'. He opened it with a key and turned to Ryan. “I have to warn you, it's small and cluttered."

  "Peasant,” he scoffed. “I'll bet it's still bigger than my place in Hollywood was, though.” There was something about James. He was just so easy to get along with. He'd never felt so instantly comfortable around another human being.

  James opened the door and reached in to flip the light switch. A fluorescent light flickered on to illuminate a small sitting room that held a beat-up beige couch and a small TV on a stand. The carpet was also beige, a different shade, and there were a couple of green pillows on the couch. The room was neat, and the walls were covered with posters of bands.

  Ryan looked around, blinking. If he hadn't been sure James was straight before, he was now. “Wow. That's a lot of neutrals. Cool posters.” He moved around the room, examining them.

  "Neutrals?” James asked, confused. “What are neutrals and what's wrong with them?” He put his keys on a small table and went to look at his answering machine. The message light was blinking.

  "I mean beige. You're not really a decorator type, are ya?” he teased, taking a seat on the couch. “It's cool. It doesn't matter."

  "I feel I am being looked down upon,” James joked. “But you know, I didn't intend to be here that long. And then, you, know...” He shrugged and pointed to the laptop on a small table in the corner. “That's the main place I am when I'm home, anyway."

  "Ooh, writing. You have to let me read something sometime.” Ryan found the entire trip to James’ place illuminating. “You're welcome to bring that in case I kidnap you for longer.” He grinned at him.

  "Maybe I will. Okay, gimme a few minutes. I'm gonna shower and change. Feel free to watch TV or whatever. I'll be quick."

  "Take your time. My schedule is
open today,” he said, trying out a fake British accent. He picked up the remote control and started flipping through the channels. All four of them.

  James laughed and went into the bedroom, leaving the door slightly ajar.

  Ryan glanced at the bedroom door. There was nothing on TV, and he could hear the water running in the shower. James was naked in there, just a little ways away.

  He got up and wandered around what passed for a kitchen. He checked the fridge. There wasn't much there. “Hey for someone who likes to cook, you don't have much food in here,” he called out.

  James into the living room, a towel wrapped around his hips. “I usually don't bother to cook for myself,” he explained.

  Ryan's mouth went dry. James was shirtless and glistening moisture clung to his perfect, hairless chest. “Oh,” he said, staring dumbly. “Nice ink,” he said in a hoarse squeak. James’ tattoos were less elaborate than his, and less extensive, but very attractive on his slim, pale torso and arms.

  James glanced down. “Thanks,” he said, eyes a little wide. “I'll just go get dressed,” he said, turning and walking back into the bedroom quickly.

  "Yeah. Clothes are good,” he said softly. He looked away and shook his head. He rubbed his hands over his face, hoping he hadn't made James uncomfortable.

  After a few moments, James walked back out again, fully dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt. He carried a duffel bag.

  By the time James came back, Ryan was under control of his reactions again. “They have crappy television here,” he commented.

  "I think I mentioned that,” James answered as he began to pack up his laptop. “Which is why we should get some DVD's.” He smiled over at Ryan. “So what do you want for dinner? I can cook most anything. Or bluff my way through it."

  "Is there a video store in town?” Ryan stood up and stuffed his hands down in his pockets. He couldn't think of what he wanted to eat. He was still a little stunned by the image of James in a towel.

  "We have an actual Blockbuster,” answered James, zipping up his bag. “I was so surprised when I saw it. Not a great selection, but better than nothing!"

  "Wow. A real Blockbuster. No porn, though,” he said with a shrug. “What kind of movies do you like?” he asked.

  "Blockbusters don't have porn,” James answered automatically, then blushed. “Not that I've checked. Um. I like scary movies, usually. Suspense. Things like that. What about you?"

  "I love scary movies. Did you ever see The Ring? That scared the hell out of me,” he said. “But yeah. I knew Blockbuster has no porn, ‘cause I have checked,” he laughed.

  "I loved the Ring. Too bad there aren't many that good. I'm sure we'll find something. I don't mind watching something good twice."

  "Cool. I'd watch something a second time, too. God knows I've seen Edward Scissorhands a few dozen times,” he smirked. “Ready to go? DVDs and food, right?” It felt strangely like some weird sort of slumber party, but it made him almost frighteningly happy that James was going to hang out for another evening.

  "Sounds perfect to me,” James said. He stopped just as they were about to walk out the door. “You'll tell me if you get sick of me, right?” he said softly.

  They way James looked at him made Ryan's heart skip a beat. “Sure. Although I don't see that happening.” He smiled warmly at him and held open the door. It was definitely too late. He already had a serious crush on James. He sighed a little as he headed back down the narrow stairs. Well, it wasn't the first time he'd had a crush on a straight boy.

  James locked the door and followed Ryan back to his car. He opened the door for Ryan once again, and got in himself. He drove to the Blockbuster, which was just like one in the US except smaller with no parking lot.

  Ryan didn't really notice any of the drawbacks. He was excited to procure some entertainment and he nearly bounced up the steps. He hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should put on his new coat, but it didn't seem too chilly. He returned to the car and grabbed the scarf out of the bag, pulled the price tag off, and wrapped it around his throat. By then James was waiting for him at the door and he hurried to join him inside. “Sorry,” he said, slipping in past him.

  James smiled at Ryan's enthusiasm, and they wandered around the store. “See anything you like?” James said, scanning the titles for something new that looked interesting. The store was fairly deserted this time of day.

  Ryan perused the new releases section critically. “I haven't seen The Aviator yet. Have you? I saw White Noise, but it was really good. I'd watch that again.” He held both the boxes up and looked at James questioningly.

  "I haven't seen either of those,” James said. “Let's get them both. That way, if one sucks we have something else to watch.” He smiled. “Anything else? I wonder if there's any video game systems in your castle."

  "I have no idea. It seemed like that big TV had everything, though, didn't it? There was a cabinet underneath it with components. I just didn't mess with it. We could rent some games and see."

  As they wandered over to the games section, two of the clerks gaped at them, and whispered among themselves. Ryan looked over at them and smiled.

  James followed Ryan's gaze and rolled his eyes. “You'll have to get used to that, I'm afraid. News travels fast in this town."

  Ryan shrugged as he looked over the games. “I don't mind.” He looked up at James and grinned a little evilly. “You might not have noticed but I have a tiny, tiny little exhibitionist streak.” He gave him a wink and picked up a couple of games, a racing one and a fighting one.

  James’ eyes widened. “You're not gonna start stripping in the middle of the store, are you?"

  Ryan burst out laughing. “Nooo, it's way too cold for that,” he said, laughing. “But I would if you really wanted me to,” he added. “Or if you dared me. I have an issue with dares. Like gambling."

  "I'll keep that in mind,” James said, noncommittal.

  They paid for the movies, then headed for the grocery store. As they walked in, James said, “I hope you've decided what you want."

  "Hmmm, can you do falafel?” At the suggestion, Ryan's stomach started to growl. He was hungrier than he'd thought. He took one of the small baskets and started collecting fruit and veggies just to have around.

  "Sure,” James answered. “If they have the right kind of beans. How hot do you like it?” He walked up and down the aisles, picking out things as they occurred to him.

  "Hm, kinda medium, probably.” He wandered the aisles behind James, holding the basket in both hands. “Ooh, chocolate soy milk,” he said, taking one.

  James glanced back. “Maybe we need a cart instead of a basket,” he said, eyeing the overflowing basket. “You do need to stock up, after all."

  Ryan agreed and went back to get a cart. He put the whole basket inside it and then wheeled back over to James. “Okay. It looks like at least I won't starve.” They picked out a few more things and Ryan took everything up to the register.

  Armed with warm clothes, DVDs and food, they headed back to the castle.

  They unloaded their purchases and carried them into the huge house. James unpacked the groceries and put on coffee. It was all so strangely domestic, but Ryan liked it. He'd never had a live-in boyfriend, but he imagined this was what it would be like. Ryan took the videos and the games into the drawing room and sat in front of all the electronics, trying to figure them out.

  James got dinner going, then walked into the drawing room with two steaming mugs of coffee. He set them down carefully on the table and came to sit next to Ryan. He leaned close and peered at the multiple components and said, “Any luck?"

  Ryan tossed a controller at him with a cheeky grin. “Of course. I might not know a carburetor from a catalytic converter, but anything with audio and video jacks and I'm all over it."

  James caught it and quickly familiarized himself with the buttons. “You do realize you're gonna get your cute ass kicked, don't you?"

  Ryan never let a compliment
about his ass go unanswered. “Ooh. You do realize I might enjoy that, right?” he said, giggling. He punched a couple of buttons on the universal remote control pad and the screen flickered to life.

  James blushed and looked down at the controller. He stammered, “Um. I mean..."

  James’ blush was utterly adorable, but it reminded Ryan that James didn't mean it that way. “Of course, maybe it'll be your cute ass that gets whooped,” he smirked. And James’ ass was most definitely cute. Ryan had noticed on more than one occasion.

  James smirked, regaining some composure. “I doubt it. There isn't a driving game I can't win,” he said, putting the game CD into the console. He looked over at Ryan. “Prepare to lose."

  Ryan thought that his chances of winning a driving game were probably slim, but then he rarely rented those kind. But he wasn't going to tell James that. “Pride goes before a fall,” he said, settling himself cross-legged in front of the screen.

  The game began, and the opening credits played. James looked over at Ryan. “I'll choose an easy track to start with,” he said as he chose his car. He customized the car quickly, then it was Ryan's turn to choose a car.

  Ryan was impressed at how deftly James navigated the game. He chose a car of his own, his thumbs moving with restless anxiety over the controls.

  Finally the race was set to begin, and the lights turned green. Ryan floundered to keep up almost from the beginning. A few wide turns left him stopped at the side of the road, overcompensating to spin back on the track and head in the right direction.

  James spared a glance at the map, and snickered when he saw how far behind Ryan was. “Now whose ass is in danger?” he teased.

  Ryan frowned, pouting a little. “I just need to get used to this game,” he protested.