Quest For A Popstar

by Katie Hamstead

  Lucas rolls his eyes. “Don’t give him ideas, please.”

  “So…” I watch him as he backs the car out. “You’re going to stay involved in musicals?”

  “Yeah, my graduation has been set back from the show. I’ll have to finish in the fall. So, I figure I might as well keep doing them until then.”

  “Chances are you’ll get a recording contract since you made top five.”

  “All the more reason for me to finish my degree,” he says, putting the car in drive. “I’ll need to look out for my whole family, so it’s crucial I understand as much as I can of the business side of things so they aren’t exploited.”

  “Wow.” I stare at him. “You take the big brother gig very seriously.”

  “With Dad gone, I just…you know.” He shrugs, his face falling.

  “Yeah.”

  He sighs. “I don’t blame myself, you know. For his death. Isaiah and Clarissa think so, but I don’t. I just miss him, and Mom dumped a lot on me responsibility-wise for a while. She still does, just not quite as much since she’s coping better now.”

  I smile at him, finding new respect for him. I can’t even imagine what he went through, suddenly being held to the role of the foundation for their family. All his younger brothers and sisters looking up to him, his mother turning to him for strength during her grief. I could picture them all doing precisely that, because, if I’m being honest with myself, I saw them doing it during the show. Lucas had never been intentionally cold to me, but rather, preoccupied with looking out for his family.

  He side-eyes me as I stare. “What?”

  My grin widens. “You’re a good one.”

  He shakes his head as a blush blossoms in his cheeks. “I’m just trying to keep your mind off…you know.”

  Pain shoots through my heart as I remember Tom’s betrayal. “Yeah. It was working. Keep going.”

  He chats away, talking about his schoolwork mostly. I’ve never heard him talk so much, but I listen intently, engrossing myself in his stories so I won’t think of Tom. A part of me wonders if maybe he enjoys my company because I’m someone who isn’t completely dependent on him. I’m someone who he can talk to freely without needing to show only strength. He’s seen my vulnerable side, so he felt safe showing me a part of his.

  We pull up on campus in the auditorium parking lot, then we head around the back to a staff room to be let in. He rushes me through the dimly lit backstage area and out onto the stage. He stands me in the center and backs away.

  “Why do I feel like you’re going to murder me or something?” I ask as he disappears in the darkness.

  “Murdering is so messy,” he responds with a chuckle.

  The spotlight blares down on me. I raise my arm to shield my eyes, and his silhouette moves across the third row of seats. “There you go. You look perfect right there.”

  “What?” I lower my arm, my eyes adjusting.

  “You shouldn’t have been eliminated,” he says, leaning against the chair in front of him. “At first, maybe, you seemed afraid of the spotlight, but now…it’s like you were born to stand right there, like that.”

  “Lucas, I don’t think I could be a performer.” I slump. “I’m not…”

  “Not what?”

  I sigh as I run my hand through my hair. I like that my hair is blonde now, rather than drab light brown, but aside from that…“I’m not cut out for that kind of life.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I’m not…I’m…”

  Stepping over the steep incline, he climbs over the seats toward the stage. “You can make ‘that life’ anything you want it to be. You don’t let people push you around.”

  I hang my head. “I do.”

  “No.” He climbs up the stairs to the stage right. “If you did, you would’ve let Tom get away with what he did.”

  I take a sharp breath as my emotions surface, catching as a lump in my throat. “He cheated on me.”

  “Hailey.” Lucas’s hand rests on my cheek.

  “He cheated on me!” I burst into tears and grab at his t-shirt. “Why wasn’t I enough?”

  “That’s not the problem.”

  “He cheated on me. How could this happen?”

  “Sometimes we don’t do anything, but people hurt us anyway.” His thumbs brush my tears away. “I know how you feel. About a year ago, my girlfriend cheated on me. I couldn’t work out what I’d done wrong, but the truth was, I’d done nothing. She made the choice, and I deserved better than that. It hurt, but I knew there’d be someone out there who would love me so much they could never do that to me. I’ve held onto that hope, and you should too, because you do deserve better than to be treated that way.”

  I rest my head on his shoulder as I sob. His arms wrap around me, the fingers of his right hand tangling into my hair. “Let it out, Hailey, then you can let it go.”

  His arm around my waist holds me tight, and although my whole body feels weak, I’m secure. Crying in his arms relieves so much pain. His fingers running through my hair soothe me; his warm breath on my temple and ear ease my sorrow.

  As my crying subsides, he pushes my hair back from my ear. “We should sing.”

  “I can’t sing like this.” I chuckle.

  “Of course you can.” He eases me back to look into my eyes. “Okay, maybe some tissues first.”

  I laugh.

  He grins. “Give me one second.” He dashes into the wings and brings back a box of tissues. I laugh again as I pluck out a few. When I wipe away the tears and snot, it’s like I’m beginning to remove the pain, even just a little. It’s amazing what a good cry can do, especially when someone like Lucas is around to help me through. When I’m done, he slides the box across the stage out of the way.

  He takes my hand and pulls me against him to dance. “What shall we sing?”

  “Something happy,” I respond, sniffing.

  He starts singing “It’s a Small World.”

  I slap his chest. “Ugh. Happy, not obnoxious.”

  He laughs and pulls me closer. “How about “So Close,” you know, from the movie Enchanted?”

  “That’s not a duet.”

  “Well, you’re still kinda gross from crying.”

  I scowl at him.

  He chuckles. “Let me sing to you.”

  I nod. His singing is a special treat. He doesn’t do it for just anyone, even if he is incredible, so I won’t deny myself the pleasure.

  He sings softly, leading me in a slow waltz. I close my eyes, remembering the lessons with Levi about trust—letting him lead, relaxing. I certainly trust Lucas. What he’d told me, about his girlfriend cheating, told me that he understands me and what I need. So, I let him lead me, guiding my heart away from my pain as I listen to his smooth, rich voice.

  He spins me, and I stumble from the surprise. He catches me, wrapping his arms around me as I giggle. Smiling, he continues singing, leaving my inability to dance as a twinkle in his eye. As the song comes to an end, he holds me close, my gaze meeting his. His voice enchants me. I press against him. His hand lifts and caresses my face as he sings the last note.

  He leans in. My heart races as my breath quickens. Is he going to kiss me? I want him to, to my complete surprise. But he pulls back. I feel like he’s sucked the air out of my lungs. My skin tingles where his hands had caressed it.

  “How was that?” he asks, his hands falling to his sides.

  I watch him as he walks toward the wing. “That was…”

  He glances back at me as he grabs the tissue box.

  Something holds me back from mentioning our almost kiss. Maybe I had just imagined it, since I’m such a mess right now anyway. “You need to take lead solo sometime.”

  He grins. “Most pop stuff is written for tenors.”

  “Lucas.” I press my hand against my hip. “You know you could do it better than Isaiah.”

  He flashes me a fierce look before he flicks off the lights. “He loves the attention.”<
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  What was that about? “Lucas—”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” In the darkness, his hand wraps around mine. “We better stop for food on the way back.”

  “I can’t believe you left Clarissa with Taylor,” I say as he gently tugs my hand, knowing pressing the Isaiah issue won’t end well. “Aren’t you afraid something might happen with them?”

  He scoffs. “No.”

  “Why? Is he gay?”

  “No.”

  “Okay,” I say slowly as we pass through the backstage area. “You know Clarissa is a cute girl, right?”

  “Exactly. He’s a cub.”

  “Oh…” I hesitate as I realize what he means. “Wow, didn’t see that coming.”

  We enter the corridor. I blink to adjust my eyes to the light, then we step outside. A wind has kicked up while we were in the auditorium, so Lucas pulls me close to him to shield me from it.

  We approach Lucas’s car and he stops. Tom stands leaning against his own vehicle parked a few spaces away.

  “Is he stalking you?” Lucas asks, the hint of anger in his voice unmistakable.

  “It kind of seems like.”

  “Stay here.” Lucas cautiously moves forward with his hands raised.

  Tom pushes off from the car, his arms crossed over his chest. “You were in there for a while.”

  “I was cheering her up,” Lucas responds darkly.

  Tom glares at me. “I bet you were.”

  Lucas steps in his line of vision, using his broad shoulders as a barrier between us. “Don’t you think you’ve hurt her enough?”

  Tom shoves him. “Everything was fine until you and your family came along and filled her head with this Popstar insanity.” He points at me. “You promised that show wouldn’t change anything between us. But it did. We’ve both made mistakes, but I’ll forgive you for him if you are willing to do the same.”

  “Nothing has happened between me and Lucas,” I say with a trembling voice. “Please, just go.”

  “No! I know what I did wrong. Hailey, I love you.”

  Tom’s words feel like an ice dagger plunging through my heart. I shut my eyes as tears threaten to return. “Don’t.”

  “You’re making it worse,” Lucas says.

  Tom swings on him, his eyes ablaze. He raises his fist. “Shut up!”

  “Lucas!” I call, panicked.

  But Lucas’s hand flies up and he catches Tom’s fist. He shoves Tom back. “I don’t want to fight you.”

  “You stole my girlfriend!” Tom regains his footing, pointing at Lucas.

  “You drove her away all on your own.” Lucas folds his arms, puffing out his chest. “If you’d heard the way she fought to stay loyal to you while on that show, you’d be groveling at her feet for forgiveness. You’re disgusting.”

  Tom bares his teeth and swings again. My heart races but I can’t move to stop them. With my head spinning, I can’t think straight. Lucas dodges Tom’s attempt to punch him, grabs his arm, and pulls it up behind his back. He pushes Tom up against his car and holds him down. “Stop.”

  “She’s mine!”

  “No, she’s not.”

  “Hailey! It was a mistake! Please!”

  I shuffle over, wrapping my arms around myself. “The problem is, Tom, it wasn’t just a one-off, or because you missed me,” I say softly, weakly. “You were doing it for months, while telling me how we would get married. I might be able to eventually forgive you, but if I were to continue a relationship with you and get married, I’d never forgive myself.”

  His eyes grow wide. “Hailey.”

  “It’s over. I can’t even look at you without my heart breaking.”

  His brows furrow as his chin quivers. “I screwed up.”

  “Yeah, and I won’t live with the consequences. I’m done.”

  I brush by and climb into Lucas’s car. In the mirror, I watch Lucas let Tom go with a shove. Tom backs away, his hand in his hair. He stares at our vehicle as Lucas hurries around and climbs into the driver’s seat.

  Lucas starts the car and looks at me. I nod, seeing the concern in his eyes. I’m shaken up, but as long as we get away, I’ll survive. Lucas drops the gear stick into reverse, then squeezes my knee.

  As we drive away, I watch Tom as he bends over and cries.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The guys Lucas lives with spend the afternoon entertaining me. They’re the perfect distraction as Kent plays guitar—classical to hard rock—Shawn plays every single brass instrument, and Taylor and Lucas mix and compose. The pair clash over arrangements, bickering like boys about things I feel like I should understand about music, but don’t.

  Clarissa sits beside me, watching the guys with a wide smile. “They put on a good show, huh?”

  I lean closer to her to speak in a low voice. “Yeah. How on earth do the neighbors tolerate this?”

  “They don’t have anyone in the adjacent apartments. They all asked to be moved.”

  “No wonder they’re kind of out in the far reaches of the complex.”

  “Yeah, they asked for that.” She pats my knee. “So, I’m not allowed to crash here. Is it okay if I stay with you tonight?”

  “Sure.”

  She grins. “Girls’ night! What are we going to do? I’m thinking eighties flicks, hit up the candy aisle, a giant bag of popcorn, then pass out on the floor.”

  I chuckle. “Sounds good.”

  “Hailey!” Taylor bellows.

  I glare across at him for the rude interruption. “What?”

  “We’re going out tonight.” He motions between me and him.

  “Um…” I glance at Clarissa who has stopped breathing.

  “Lucas needs to be brought down a peg,” Taylor says, shoving Lucas’s shoulder. “That show you guys were on has made him a jerk.”

  Clarissa lets out her breath.

  “Clarissa’s too young for karaoke bars, if that’s what you’re thinking,” I say.

  “Ah crap.” He slumps. “All right. We’ll go to the arcade.”

  “I’m not five,” Clarissa responds.

  “Miniature golfing?” he asks, raising his eyebrows for approval.

  Clarissa smiles. “Better.”

  Taylor points at Lucas. “You’re going down.”

  Within minutes we’re packed in Lucas’s car, after a fight about Taylor not sitting up front and Lucas saying that Taylor needs to learn to be a gentleman.

  We arrive at the miniature golf course and the guys pay, at Lucas’s insistence. Clarissa and I hang back as Lucas and Taylor argue over the first few holes. We watch the pair, and as Taylor swings his club around wildly, Clarissa says, “Guys are weird.”

  “Yup.” I keep my gaze locked firmly on that club in case it flies out of Taylor’s hands.

  “Why are they arguing?”

  “No idea.”

  “Why are we here while they’re arguing?”

  “Again, no idea.”

  “Let’s play through.”

  “Okay.”

  We play right through their argument, and two holes later, they realize we’ve moved on. They stop arguing after that.

  While Lucas helps Clarissa line up a difficult shot, Taylor leans against me. “So, you said on the show you have a boyfriend.”

  I frown. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “He wasn’t real?”

  “No, he was. I guess.”

  “Ohh, is that why they came back while everything is still going? Bad luck, kid.” He gives my shoulder a gentle nudge. “I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation, Lucas knows how that feels.”

  “Yeah, he said his girlfriend cheated.”

  “Yeah, it was awful. I wanted to deck him for what he did to Lucas. Who does that really?”

  Him? Does Lucas know the guy who his girlfriend cheated with? “Who?”

  He looks down at me, frowning. “Oh, he didn’t go into details.” He folds his arms. “I guess since it’s fresh for you, that makes sense.”


  Clarissa cheers and jumps up and down.

  “You’re up,” Taylor says. He walks over to join Lucas and Clarissa, while I’m left wondering who could intentionally hurt Lucas.

  ***

  When I emerge from my bedroom with a yawn, Clarissa still lies unconscious on the couch. Careful to not wake her, I shower and have breakfast.

  My phone buzzes as I munch on my bowl of cereal. I open the text from Lucas.

  Lucas: I’m outside. Is Clarissa awake?

  I tiptoe to the door and quietly open it. He grins and glances around me. “Sleeping?”

  “Yeah,” I answer in a whisper.

  “Quick, we only have a few hours.” He grabs my wrist and yanks me out the door.

  He takes me on campus and helps me sort out my classwork and do some catch-up. His understanding of biology consists of one plus one makes a baby, but I don’t mind. His company keeps me on track and thinking about what I’m supposed to. As we move to leave the library, someone calls my name. I glance around, seeing no one I know, but then I hear it again.

  “Hailey!” Karen appears as we pass out of the library into the corridor. “We need to talk.”

  With her blonde tangles tied back in a messy ponytail, and her skin red and blotchy, I hardly recognize her. Her typical tight jeans and low-cut shirt are exchanged for baggy sweats and a tee, all of which are a far cry from her usual perfectly kept appearance. And it occurs to me—Lucas said he saw Tom with a blonde around Christmas. It hadn’t been Tom’s ex, because Tom and I were together by then, but rather, him sneaking around with Karen.

  Lucas grabs my elbow as we approach. My heart races, but she doesn’t seem to notice Lucas as she comes right at me. “Go back to Tom. It was my fault.”

  I keep walking, directing Lucas around her.

  “He’s a mess without you,” she says, following us. The thought of Tom talking to her about it makes my blood boil.

  “Hailey, please.”

  I glance at Lucas. He nods and speeds up our pace.

  She keeps up. “You have to understand. Anthony was always busy, and you wouldn’t—”

  I throw a glare back at her.

  “He needs you back,” she says desperately.