Return to Her

by Alexandra O'Hurley

  After a cleansing breath, she cut into the French toast. As soon as it hit her tongue, she knew it was the best she’d ever had. An unbidden moan came from her, and Mason’s head whipped up. His brown eyes darkened to almost black as he stared at her. That look had her twisted and tangled all over again.

  “Good?”

  Cassie swallowed and nodded. “Better than good.”

  A little smile hitched on one side of his lips. “I’m glad you think so.”

  The air was heavy between them. She struggled to breathe, or to understand what was going on. “Do you make breakfast for all the women you sleep with?” The question sprang from her lips without a filter. “I mean, sleepover with?” She added, trying to quickly dig herself out of the hole.

  Mason looked down at his plate and cut another piece of toast. When he looked back at her, she saw the same wounded look she’d seen almost two years ago in that soup kitchen. “I know what you think of me. Yeah, I like having fun. What’s so wrong about that?”

  “I don’t understand your constant need to have a new flavor of the month. But then, what right do I have to even ask? It’s your life and I shouldn’t judge. You’ve been a good friend to me and I’ve seen the man hiding inside, so I know you’ve got a good heart in there.”

  Mason leaned back in his chair. “I was a fat kid.”

  Cassie looked up at him and gawked. “What?”

  “From grade school through part of high school, I was the fat kid who got bullied all the time. Sometime in the middle of tenth grade, I got my growth spurt and grew to a little over six feet. All a sudden, I wasn’t fat, and the bullies left me alone. Then the girls took notice. Girls who had laughed at me and taunted me suddenly wanted to go out with me.”

  Hearing his story made everything make a little more sense. “So you went out with them as, what, retribution?”

  Mason’s hand froze midair as he lifted another piece to his mouth. He lowered it as a frown crossed his brow. “I hadn’t thought of it that way, but I suppose you’re right. I dated them and quickly broke things off, moving on to the next girl. I guess it started a habit I never broke.”

  “I’d think by now you’ve exacted enough revenge.”

  Mason stared at her a moment, his face devoid of emotion. “Maybe I have. Maybe it’s time to settle down into something a little more long-term, like you suggest. Find a girl who I can talk to, who isn’t boring. Someone who will love me as much as I love them.”

  Cassie both loved and hated that idea. She loved it because she’d want to be that girl. She hated it because she more than likely wouldn’t be. And then she’d turn into a jealous harpy the moment she laid eyes on the poor wretch who landed her man. “I think it would be good for you. If you found the right girl.”

  Mason smiled wickedly and then started eating.

  Cassie joined him, enjoying the breakfast he’d made. She watched him as she ate, wishing her Sunday mornings could always be spent sitting across the table from him, eating breakfast after a wild night of pleasure.

  For months, she’d thought that sensual side of him was bad, but now she knew both halves would make him a friend and a lover. The good soul she saw inside wasn’t enough. After so many weeks of seeking out the hidden Mason, she realized she wanted all of him, Casanova included.

  Do I want him? Or am I just overly needy because I’ve just been dumped?

  The thought gave her pause.

  She needed to get her head out of the clouds, see him for the friend he was trying to be, and leave the desire behind. No matter how difficult it was.

  Chapter Three

  Three months later…

  “I can’t believe Mason is really leaving for a year! Why in the heck did he volunteer to go?”

  Cassie half-listened to her co-worker, Ashley, ask the question, but she was struggling to take her gaze off Mason enough to answer. Standing at the end of the hastily arranged group of tables, he was talking to a group their friends and saying his goodbyes, oblivious to her stolen glances. Cassie wanted to be at his side, but she was trying to keep a little distance. She didn’t want to monopolize his last couple of days with whomever he wanted to spend them with, which is why she’d invited Ashley and her boyfriend, Spence, to give her someone else to talk to.

  Mason wasn’t hers, no matter how badly she wanted him to be. The past few months had been hell, so close to the man she wanted, but he’d kept Casanova at bay. And she feared she’d chase him away if she opened up and told him what she really felt. Having him as her friend was better than not having him at all—even if it was killing her.

  Her stare drifted over him. Tonight he wore casual clothes—a t-shirt and a great pair of hip-hugging jeans, both tight enough to show off some of his hard-packed muscles. They weren’t as sexy as the BDUs she often saw him in, but then, she’d take him in a sack if she could have him all to herself.

  He had become her best friend since that night on her couch. Now he was about to leave her because he had a job to do. Logically, she understood. Her heart—well that was another matter. In the last three months her feelings had grown and she was struggling to hold the truth back.

  “He was going one way or another. If he volunteered, it gave him a few options he could control,” Cassie said absently while watching him.

  “Ah,” Ashley responded. “Still stinks he has to go for so long.”

  Cassie nodded. “It feels like a lifetime.”

  The crowd was thick around the table. She’d set up his party in the spot they all liked to hangout, a country western club with an adjacent rock club on one side. Cassie had thought it a fitting tribute to come out, eat, sing, dance, and be merry in order to give Mason the sendoff he deserved. His friends had come out to wish him well and dozens had shown up, all of them vying for a moment of his attention.

  They all loved Mason.

  Including her.

  Not that she’d told him. Mason had become too important to her to jeopardize their relationship, no matter how much she wanted him. Her fear of rejection was keeping her from the one man she wanted most, and it pissed her off she couldn’t get past it. Now that he was leaving, she couldn’t add one more thing for him to worry about when he was overseas. Mason needed to focus. He needed to return to her—in one piece. When he did, maybe she’d finally get the nerve to tell him how she felt. She had a year to build up the courage.

  “So how are you going to handle him leaving?” Ashley asked, her voice low, the meaning quite clear.

  Cassie turned to stare, a little shocked at the underlying tone. “I’ll miss him. Just like everyone else.”

  “You’ve had eyes for him for I don’t know how long. Even before Dave left.”

  Dave felt like a world away, even though it had only been three months since his sudden departure from their lives. Having him brought up now was an unwelcome reminder. She brushed the past away and turned to look at the man Dave had brought into her life. Mason was worth the pain of being cheated on. She couldn’t imagine him not in her life now.

  Yet Cassie was thrown off guard, not realizing anyone had noticed her attraction to Mason. Was she so transparent? “No. We’re just friends. The best of friends. He treats me like a little sister.” So many nights since that first, with him sleeping on her couch after a couple of movies and popcorn. She’d been tempted to sneak out to the living room and climb onto the couch beside him, or invite him into her bed, but she’d worried he’d reject her advances and ruin the friendship they’d built.

  Ashley chuckled, her lips hitching into a wide smile. “I’ve never seen a man look at his little sister like he looks at you,” Ashley said, turning to glance at Mason. “Like right now.”

  Cassie shifted and saw Mason staring at her intensely. A frisson of desire raced up her spine as she saw him so focused. Was Ashley right? Was there something in his look she’d talked herself out of seeing? For a moment, she thought she saw lust in his glance, but suddenly, he grinned at her and winked, and any imagi
ned heat was gone.

  After a calming breath, Cassie winked back and chuckled, although her chest tightened. Of course he didn’t have those feelings for her. Mason had been an incredible, supportive friend, and that was all. She needed to get a grip.

  “See. You’re seeing more into things than there is,” Cassie said, lifting her bottle of beer to her lips and taking a hearty gulp to mask her emotions for a moment. She put the bottle down and rubbed her finger across condensation building on the label. “If Mason wanted a woman, he’d have her—not cast longing looks her way. He’s not that kind of guy.”

  She was that kind of woman, though, sitting there yearning for a man she’d probably never have. Unlucky in love, Cassie’s relationships always turned out badly. Whatever she’d done wrong in her past life appeared to be catching up to her, and how. Mason couldn’t be the next Mr. Wrong, not when he was so, so right.

  “True. He’s not shy when it comes to women,” Ashley said with a chuckle.

  A little touch of envy settled in Cassie’s mind. The thought of other women being free to touch him whenever they wanted was downright unfair, but then he’d been single for a while now, which was unusual for him. He hasn’t had a woman that I know of since … the night Dave left? No, that can’t be right.

  Questions circled in her mind as she tried to put the pieces together. She glanced his way again and imagined what it would be like for him to want her as much as she wanted him. Heat flooded her body seconds before Mason caught her gaze again.

  She quickly looked away, grabbing a menu to fan her face. “Is it hot in here, or is it just me?”

  “It’s August. What do you expect? Wait until the band starts and then we’ll really be sweating.” Ashley stole the menu from Cassie’s grip and started fanning herself.

  Cassie was overwhelmed with the need to escape. The air was thick and people were starting to crowd in as the band tuned up in the background. A club regular, Krunch, was the reason she’d planned the party there that night. Who better to send off her Mason than their favorite cover band, in their favorite hangout, surrounded by friends? So why did she feel the urge to flee?

  “Are you ready for the new school year?” Ashley asked suddenly, changing the subject.

  Cassie was glad for the break. Work would help her get her mind off Mason. A new year, with new smiling faces, would be just the diversion she needed—and when the year was over, it would mean Mason would soon be home. “I think it’s going to be a great year. The seventh grade teachers really enjoyed their students last year, so that’s good news for us.”

  Ashley groaned. “I wish I was staying there this year instead of taking that new job.”

  Cassie smiled, knowing Ashley would be better off in her new role, even if she’d miss having a comrade at the middle school. “You’ll do fine.”

  Ashley smiled wanly. “I feel bad abandoning you with your losing Mason, too.”

  Cassie lifted her chin. “I’ll be fine. I’m a college-educated, independent woman. I think I can handle the two of you off doing your own things.” She needed to keep repeating that mantra over and over. She’d come to depend on Mason’s friendship and companionship in recent months. The thought of a year without him was a daunting prospect. At least Ashley was still around the corner whenever she needed her.

  She cast a glance to the side, sensing someone’s stare. Mason had her in his sights, his stare intense. Cassie held it for a moment, but turned away, unsure of what that stare was all about.

  Head spinning, she took another long draft from the bottle, her heart beating even faster. What she wouldn’t give to be alone with Mason right now, without all the other people getting in the way. Mason was staying with her for a few days since he’d packed up his stuff and given up his apartment. Knowing he was sleeping just outside her bedroom had been torture the night before. He was leaving early Sunday morning, which gave them tonight and tomorrow. Cassie wanted to spend as much time with him as she could beforehand, and she was selfish when it came to those last moments.

  Not that she had a right to be. Cassie had no claims on Mason.

  So she sat back and watched him, letting him have his time with everyone else. Her heart breaking at the thought of him not being there to be her shoulder, her rock, and her best friend, but she had to put on a brave face, just like he would when he donned his uniform and faced danger for all their freedom.

  He was a hero.

  He was her hero.

  Mason spun to look at her again, and she thought she saw something pass across his face once more. She turned away, breaking the stare. Damn Ashley, she’s put stupid ideas in my head.

  “Come on, Cassie, you can’t tell me you don’t see the way he looks at you. Why are you being so thick headed?”

  Cassie glanced back to where he’d been standing, but he was gone. She sighed, knowing she was being absolutely ridiculous. “I’m his friend and that’s good enough.”

  “But it’s obvious that you both want more,” Ashley argued.

  “I’m not Mason’s type. I never will be,” Cassie said. “There’s no point ruining what we have.”

  Ashley’s gaze lifted and she leaned back in her seat. “Hi Mason.”

  Cassie’s head spun around and she saw Mason standing behind her. How long had he stood there? How much of that had he heard? It was loud in there, so maybe he hadn’t heard a word. From the dark look he gave her, she wasn’t sure.

  “I’ll let you two chat. You’ve surely got a lot to talk about,” Ashley said, rising to her feet and giving Cassie a wink before hightailing it out of there.

  “What was that about?” Mason asked as he sat down, a frown wrinkling his brow.

  “Nothing,” Cassie said quickly before lifting her beer to her suddenly parched lips. She had no idea what he’d heard, or if he’d heard anything at all.

  “Tonight feels surreal,” Mason said before taking a swig from his long-neck. He slowly set the bottle back on the table and turned to look at her, his deep brown gaze filled with melancholy.

  “I know.” Cassie relaxed some. Apparently he hadn’t heard or was choosing to ignore it. She let out a sigh. “We’ve known you were going for weeks, but it still doesn’t feel like it’s really happening.”

  Mason stared at her, a slight frown twisting his handsome features. “You’ve been awfully quiet tonight.”

  “I’m just a little sad you’re leaving,” she answered truthfully. Actually, that was a lie. She was more than a little sad. She was brokenhearted.

  “Is that why you’re avoiding me?”

  Avoiding him? “I haven’t avoided you. I wanted you to be able to tell everyone goodbye and not be in your way.”

  Mason stared at his hands cradling the bottle for a moment, then lifted his gaze to pin her with a look. “You’re never in my way.”

  “I’m not?” The words came out odd, the hitch in her throat making it hard to speak.

  “I’m not used to you silent and sitting in a corner. I don’t like it.” Mason laid his hand on hers and leaned closer. The heat of his hand leeched into her body and she imagined what it would feel like to have that same hand trailing over other parts of her body, his warmth surrounding her. She closed her eyes and let his scent drift in, his spicy aftershave and something else mixed in that was just clean, sexy male. Mason’s scent—I’ll miss that, too.

  Cassie opened her eyes and stared at him, trying to burn the image of his face into her memory. His dark eyes had heavy brows slashing over them, parted by an angular nose that had been broken at some point and never set exactly right. She wanted to reach out and run her finger over the little bump it had left, ending on the firm, full lips below it. Her breathing quickened as she thought about him sucking her finger between his lips, just like she wanted him to suck the nipples that now tightened under her thin blouse.

  “I know this party’s for me, but I really don’t feel like all the noise tonight. Want to go back to your place?” Mason said lowly near her ear.<
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  Cassie trembled slightly as her body reacted to his warm breath against her. Lust seemed to swell in his gaze again, and she fought to control her raging body. Mason squeezed her hand gently and rubbed his thumb along her palm.

  Getting control of herself, she smiled. She was letting her imagination run away with her. But he’d read her mind. She’d wanted him all to herself and it looked like she was going to get her wish. “Sure,” she said, trying not to sound too eager. Realizing she’d been the one to plan the party, she paused. “But everyone came out to see you. Are you sure you want to go?”

  Mason smiled. “I’ve talked to everyone here I wanted to. I’m ready to say goodbye,” he said as he stood and pulled out her chair.

  “If you need some quiet, I’m sure everyone will understand,” Cassie said, trying to sound logical when she felt anything but. She rose and glanced up at his towering form. Cassie always felt petite next to his six plus foot height and broad shoulders, especially since he made her five foot three feel even tinier. It made her want to cuddle against him. She fought the urge to do just that as they said their goodbyes.

  Chapter Four

  Mason put the car in gear, his hands sweating slightly on the wheel. He rubbed his palms along his thighs, trying to calm himself. The clamminess wasn’t from the summer heat, but from his apprehension. He glanced over at Cassie as they pulled up to the first red light, and smiled. She gave him a wobbly smile back.

  All night, she’d been quiet and her mood made him nervous. Did she sense how wound up he was inside?

  Feeling like this wasn’t anything he was accustomed to. Years of good ‘ole Southern charm had been bred into him from an early age. Mason had no problem coaxing a woman into doing just about anything he asked when he turned that on.

  But Cassie was different.

  She was a friend, a really good friend. A friend he’d fallen for and that raised the stakes all around. With Cassie, there was no coaxing. She’d already wrapped him around her little finger without even knowing she’d done so. At first, her magnetic pull had felt odd, but now he couldn’t imagine being anywhere but by her side.