Alex (Heartbreakers & Troublemakers Book 3)

by Hope Hitchens

  I cringed.

  “It wasn’t that bad Iris, shut up.”

  “I’m just saying. Did he ask for your number or anything?”

  “I gave it to him.”

  “Why’d you go and do something like that?”

  “I had to. I need to pay for his bike repairs.”

  “Would you? If he asked?”

  I shrugged, which wasn’t a good enough response for Iris.

  “Oh my god, you totally would,” she accused.

  “No, I wouldn’t.”

  Yes, I would. Iris knew I was lying, but I didn’t want to admit it to her. It was not a total yes, it was more of a tepid no. Like a limited yes. If he wanted to be with me, I would take a free drink if he really wanted to give me one, and other things if he wanted to give me that too.

  He probably wanted to have sex because that was the one thing we had never gotten to. We had done everything else but actual intercourse and well… having sex with him now didn’t sound as bad as it should have.

  The asshole broke my heart, but that was ancient history. Really. Seeing him again, the first time after the accident probably felt like the way Henry Detamble felt the first time he jumped through time. Okay, extreme example, but it must have been the shock of the actual crash and the fear of paying for the damage that made me seize up like that.

  He was the same guy, only older and hotter. Bigger, more rugged… he had tattoos now… he wore those five years really well. I could draw the line at maybe having sex because I didn’t want to try a relationship again. Oh no. Not again. That was off the table.

  “Don’t. He’s a loser.”

  “That’s not fair. You don’t know that. You haven’t been keeping tabs on my exes, remember?”

  “What else could he be? If he came back, he didn’t make it into the league.”

  I thought about it. She had a point. We hadn’t gotten to any of that since we had been talking about his mom. I had only ever watched football because he had liked it and we would watch together. I knew more about football than I knew about a lot of things, but the last game I had seen was when we were together.

  Players had off-seasons where they just spent all their time getting ready for the game season. Football season started September. It was March. If he was training, I couldn’t imagine with whom, or for which team he played. I’d have to ask him the next time I saw him because there would be another time. It would probably be soon. He said he went to see his mom three times a week.

  I left Iris to start packing. She could speculate as much as she wanted. It didn’t matter because he and I weren’t even getting into it again like that. Even if that was the case, it didn’t mean that reconnecting with him was all bad.

  It was Lex. He was the guy I would write frantic journal entries about, and the guy I would believe when he promised me the world. I didn’t hate him. Even after the breakup, I didn’t hate him. I had sort of missed him.

  Being with him now was… nice. It was familiar. When we were together, his family was like my second family. We had spent so much time together. Who knew me better than him?

  No one. Maybe I wanted him back in my life and so what if I did?

  We were friends before we had ever dated—why not now?

  9

  Alexander

  Livvy was nice, but I didn’t know after five years whether she was still nice enough to volunteer to take me to work every morning, on top of everywhere else she was taking me. It wasn’t like we were driving to Stockton and back every day. My work would be out of the way for her, but it wouldn’t be that bad.

  I wasn’t going to ask her. I had gotten Bryce, the apprentice, to do it. He was like the closest we got to an intern in our business. He wanted to learn how to make knives, so he had to start from the bottom. That included sorting scrap metal and giving me rides to work every day until I could get my bike back.

  I had gotten a guy to look at it, and my radiator was busted. I had to get little bits like the mirrors and front fender replaced. The front wheel too. It was going to run me a few hundred dollars. Actually, it was going to run Olivia a few hundred dollars. I’d be able to have it back in a week or two weeks tops.

  The more I thought about it, the more I figured I didn’t really have to make Olivia pick the bill up for the repairs. It wasn’t a big deal. I was more angry than anything when the accident happened. It wasn’t like I couldn’t pay for it myself. I didn’t want her money. We were reconnecting, and how friendly was she about to get with the guy she owed money to?

  It was Sunday.

  She was coming over, and we were going to go see my mom again. All the days that Olivia had come to the facility with me had been good days for my mother. I wasn’t superstitious, but I was going to say that she—Livvy—had a good effect on her.

  When she got to the house, she rang the doorbell which I hadn’t expected her to do. She didn’t need to come all the way to the house. She was in a sundress, and her hair was down when I opened the door. She looked like an angel or something. The dress was white and was like a sexy confirmation dress. Her hair was curly, the way it was when she wouldn’t straighten it. I had always preferred it that way. It came down to her chest, and when it was straight, she would hate it when I touched it.

  The dress she was wearing was great. Sundresses, in general, were great. It was fitted over her tits and waist then skimmed over her ass and hips. They left just enough to the imagination.

  “What?” she asked, noticing the way I was looking at her.

  “You didn’t need to dress up to see me, Livvy,” I said to her.

  “I didn’t,” she said, scowling at me. “You pulled me out of my sister’s baby shower for this.”

  I locked the house and followed her out to the car. This time, she didn’t put up a fight and went right to the passenger side, letting me take the driver seat. She handed me the keys.

  “Iris was pregnant the last time I was in town. How many is she up to?”

  “This is just the second,” she said, “she hasn’t been on her back giving birth for the last five years.”

  “Same dad as the last one?” I asked. I saw her look at me out of the corner of my eye.

  “I don’t think that’s any of your business, Alex.”

  “So, no?”

  “I’m not discussing Iris’s private life with you.”

  “We used to talk about your sister all the time,” I said.

  “It’s not the same thing. Things have changed too much for you to think we could still talk about her like it’s no big deal anymore.”

  “You don’t want to talk about her; let’s talk about us.”

  Timing wasn’t there, but when was a good time to bring it up? If I asked her, she would probably say never. We had to at some point, though.

  “There is no us, Alex.” She had turned her head to look out the window like there was something really interesting going on out there. There wasn’t. I could sort of understand her not wanting to look at me, or be in the car with me, but did she have to make it so obvious? I didn’t want her to have to treat spending time with me like something she had to just grin and bear, but whatever she was mad about, she was taking a hell of a long time to get over.

  She had no reason to be mad, first of all. I could see why she was, but it was all just a big misunderstanding. Assumptions about things that weren’t true had been made, and assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups.

  “I have about two years’ worth of receipts that say yes the fuck there is.”

  “Expired receipts. I’m leaving once we get there.”

  “Leaving?”

  “The party. I’m holding it for Iris. I have to be there.”

  “Mom asked you to come back,” I said to her.

  “She asked because she thought we were still together. You have to tell her that we are not.”

  “I’m not going to tell her that, Liv. It’ll just make her mad. You can’t argue with whatever reality she thinks she’s l
iving in. It’ll just make her confused and frustrated.”

  “So you’re just going to lie to her? Is that it?” she asked.

  “There are days when she wakes up, and she doesn’t remember that she got a divorce, or that Colin has kids, or that I, the guy who comes to see her all the time, am actually her son. Sometimes, telling her the truth only makes things worse for her. I don’t do it for me; I do it for her.”

  “Who says she’ll even remember that she asked for me back, or even remember me at all in the first place?” she asked.

  “I know you would rather be anywhere but in this car with me, but this isn’t about me, or us. It’s about her. My mother barely knows who she is anymore, and if seeing people from her past is going to help her not feel so lost, then I would hope you would have some fucking sympathy for that.”

  “I’m sympathetic towards her, Alex. Not you. Even if she does want me to come back that doesn’t mean I have to do it with you. I can give her that much. She was a beautiful person, and I respect that she’s ill and needs what she needs. You are using her and this situation to make me spend time with you when you know I don’t want to be.”

  “Keep telling yourself that, babe. Maybe you’ll start to believe yourself.”

  “What did you say?” she asked.

  “Hating me makes you feel better. I get it. It’s easier to hate me than to admit you still have feelings for me.”

  “God, Alex, get off your own dick. It’s been five years; you don’t think I’ve looked at anyone else?”

  “I know you looked. You can look all you want. It won’t change the way you feel.”

  “God, you’re fucking unbearable. I’m not having this discussion with you.”

  “That’s right, babe. Repress, repress, repress. That’s the best way to solve anything.”

  She actually stayed quiet after that although I knew she wanted to kill me. I actually thought she would ask me to stop the car and get out, saying she would walk back. She had never been out there and dramatic, more than the usual adolescent levels when we were together, but who knew now? I didn’t have to goad her, but she didn’t have to act like this was her idea of hell.

  They had animals at the facility. Cats, dogs, chickens, things like that. Therapy animals. Chickens were most therapeutic to me deep fried, but interacting with animals was something that helped people like my mom who were losing it sort of straighten their shit out. Having animals around calmed them down, the staff told me and gave them something to look forward to. Sometimes, if she was having a good day, the staff would let Mom go out on walks with one of the dogs.

  Today was one such day.

  The facility itself wasn’t that big, but its grounds were substantial. Because we were not going off the compound, the staff had let the two of us walk with Mom and the dog unsupervised. Mom had linked her arm in Liv’s, and they were talking. She was all there today. She knew what year we were in, and understood where she was, and for what reason. She even understood when we broke it to her that we weren’t together anymore. She wasn’t happy about it, but she got it.

  When we were leaving, I could have rubbed it in Olivia’s face that Mom had been great today and had wanted to see her, but I didn’t. I wanted to push her, but not all the way away from me. We were adults; we couldn’t fight like children anymore.

  “Was that so bad?” I asked her when we were getting back into the car.

  “Save it, Alex. Let’s just leave. I have somewhere to be.” She sat in the car and looked straight forward with her arms crossed. Her body looked like she was all tied up in knots. Tight.

  “What?” I asked her. She looked at me with the sort of exhaustion you just didn’t have when you were twenty-three years old. She looked like she was ready to tap out. She was so tired of me.

  “What do you mean what? Let’s go.”

  “We just had a great time with my mother. Why are you pissed?”

  “I’m not pissed; I’m just… you’re getting free rides and your bike fixed for free.”

  “You mean the least you could do given our situation. I’m glad it’s making you so angry to do the right thing,” I said. I was poking at her. I knew it would just get her even more chopped.

  “I know what I did; you don’t have to keep reminding me. Just because I have to do it, doesn’t mean I have to like it,” she said.

  “You can be mad, or you can be wrong, sugar. You can’t be both.”

  She sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

  “Just drive. I have to get back to the baby shower.”

  “No. You’re mad. Tell me why you’re so annoyed.”

  “Just drive the fucking car, Alex,” she said.

  I started the engine.

  It had been a while, and I could respect that. What I could not respect was her treating me like a stranger. Like I didn’t know her and her patterns. The things that ticked her off and the things she liked. Maybe it was enough today. Maybe I had pushed her as far as she was going to go. I drove towards her house. She wanted to be home that bad; then I would take her there.

  “This isn’t the way to your house,” she said.

  “I know that. You wanted to get back to your party.”

  “It doesn’t make sense to drop… you know what. Whatever. You can walk home. I don’t care.”

  I tightened my grip on the wheel. She just had no more fucks to give. She was done. I shut up because I knew I was one word away from being cursed out. Why was I the one being careful when she didn’t seem to care? This was literally us five years ago—bickering like kids.

  I pulled up to her house, and her belt was off before we even stopped. There was someone on the lawn. A woman. Pregnant. She was talking on the phone.

  Iris.

  Just the person I never wanted to see again.

  “I can call you an Uber or something to get you home,” Olivia said.

  Home? Nope. I was staying right there.

  I pulled the door open and started walking up to Iris. She and Olivia were sisters, but only a little bit. Iris was tall for a woman, but Livvy was petite. Her eyes were brown, Liv’s were blue, and her hair was lighter than Liv’s too. Her hand was resting on her stomach as she talked on the phone. She stopped talking when she saw me walking up to her.

  “Hey Iris, how are you?” I said to her cheerfully. I don’t know whether she was done with the conversation or not, but she ended her call and looked at me. She looked the way Liv had when she first saw me when she hit my bike. Stunned. Fucking speechless.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” she asked.

  “Iris, sorry I couldn’t get back earlier. I had to-”

  “Ollie, did you invite him over?” Iris asked, talking over her sister. She and the rest of the people in their family called Olivia, ‘Ollie.’ I didn’t like it. I thought it was a little masculine, like something you called a little boy named Oliver. Not cute enough.

  “What’s the matter, Iris? Not happy to see me?”

  “Ollie, get him out of here.”

  “He was just leaving,” Olivia said, looking at me.

  “You don’t want to talk, Iris? You sure had a lot to say last time we were together.”

  Her face started turning red. She was mad, or embarrassed. Good. It was about fucking time Liv heard the truth.

  “You two were talking? You said you hadn’t spoken to him,” Olivia said to her sister.

  “Ollie, I don’t know what he’s talking about,” she said back.

  “Come on, tell her Iris,” I said.

  “If you don’t leave, I’m calling the cops,” she threatened.

  “You’d call the cops on the father of your child?” I asked. Her jaw dropped. Yep. I was going there. We were having it out today, in front of Olivia. There were about five seconds where nobody said anything.

  “Iris… Iris, what is he talking about?” Olivia asked.

  “Don’t listen to him, Ollie.”

  “Either you tell her, or I do it, Iris
,” I said.

  “Did you two sleep together? Is he Hayden’s dad?” Olivia asked.

  “No. He isn’t. We didn’t, but… I… I told Mom and Dad that we did,” she said. I looked at Olivia.

  “You lied that… you told Mom and Dad? Why?”

  “Because she didn’t want us to be together,” I said.

  “I just wanted to protect you,” Iris said.

  “From what? Protect…” Olivia’s face twisted in sudden anger.

  “What did you tell them?” she asked Iris.

  “I didn’t know you would take it as hard as you did, Ollie, I thought-”

  “You thought nothing, Iris. I can’t believe you would… you bitch!”

  Olivia disappeared, taking off past her sister into the house. I started after her. Iris grabbed my arm, stopping me.

  “Don’t you dare follow her,” she said.

  “You think she’d rather see you than me right now?”

  “She’s my sister. Stay away from her.”

  “You won’t do again, Iris. Not again. You have nothing.”

  “What are you going to tell her?” she asked.

  “I’m going to tell her what you did, and why you did it. She needs to know.”

  “Please don’t,” she said, hanging onto my arm.

  Maybe five years ago, but not now.

  “This is your last chance. I won’t follow her in there, but if you do, you have to tell her.”

  “Or what?” she challenged.

  “Or I will.”

  10

  Olivia

  It was instinct or memory or something else that got me up the stairs because it wasn’t my sight. I couldn’t see from the tears running down my face. It was a miracle I didn’t break an ankle running in the heels I had on.

  I ran up the stairs. I could hear Iris behind me. She was calling my name, begging me to stop. I got to my room and flung my closet doors open, pulling everything down, hangers and all. I had packed most of my things, but this stuff on the hangers was still up in the closet.