One Plus One (The Millionth Trilogy Book 3)

by Tony Faggioli

  Heaven was warm and cool at the same time. He wondered how that was possible. Sitting up now, he eagerly glanced out the windows. There were rolling hills out there, lush and green, sprinkled with sporadic fields of wildflowers, and a stream of some kind. He hadn’t heard it until he saw it. Water moving over land, gently, more a brook than a stream. He wanted to run outside and drink it, and splash it on his face and look up to see what the sky looked like in heaven.

  “Here you go.” She held the cup of tea up to his mouth and he sipped at it, meekly at first, then with relief. Peppermint. “Your favorite, right?”

  The hot water loosened his vocal cords. “Si, abuelita.” He felt his heart stir in his chest and the joy in him want to burst out in all directions, in tears, in shouts, in proclamation. Instead he said, “Man. It is so good to see you.”

  “Yes. It is. You’re all grown up now. I so want to hear what happened in your life, from the time I left that place to now. So much must’ve happened.”

  The memories were there to draw on and share, but Napoleon held them in check for some reason. The urge to do so bothered him.

  His strength returning, he took the cup from her hands and held it in his own. It was ceramic, and the warmth spread into his palms.

  “Hmm. Well, there’s a lot to tell. Not sure all of it you’ll want to hear,” he said with a tilt of his head, “But for some reason—”

  “For some reason… not yet. Right?” She smiled softly.

  Napoleon was surprised. “How’d you know?”

  “Because, mijo, it’s in your eyes. You’re not quite ready. There’s someone you love still, and that’s always the case. We always leave people behind that we love. Sometimes naturally. Sometimes tragically. It’s the way things work, you know,” she closed with a shrug.

  “But…”

  “But sometimes there’s someone we love so much that we have to go back for them, mijo.” And when she looked at him there was so much pride in her face that it nearly broke him apart.

  “Efren,” he said softly.

  “Yes. You’re own little mijo, not from you but of you.”

  “He wouldn’t stand a chance if—”

  “You didn’t go back,” she said with a sigh.

  They were silent for a moment. Heaven waited as he finished his tea. Then, quietly, she took his hand and began to pray. It was the best kind of prayer: long, with soft pauses that left room for the Holy Spirit.

  When she was done she looked up. “Go back for a little bit. Finish things up.”

  He nodded. “Will you—”

  “Yes, nieto. Heaven is what we make of it, and a heaven without you someday would be no heaven at all for me. The Father is so gracious that way. I’ll be here, waiting for you.”

  She kissed his forehead. He kissed her cheek. There was no sadness, just a wordless resolve that passed between them.

  Then heaven opened up and spilled Napoleon back out into his body.

  CHAPTER 33

  KYLE ASCENDED FROM THE cave bone-weary and confused. What next? He didn’t know.

  What he did know was that he was done. The blue within him was fading, pooling back to that place deep within him, where his soul resided, halfway between his mind and his heart. As it did so, it finished healing his wrist and the wounds he’d incurred in the cave, the cuts and bruises disappearing as his nerve endings and flesh were mended.

  The sun was setting like a giant, bright orange ball. Fading heat waves rippled slowly across the desert sands, warping the view of the horizon. It struck him that this was what was different about the deserts of hell: no heat waves. Just pure, vicious heat that punctured every pore of your body. He’d escaped that hell, hadn’t he?

  But now he was in a new one.

  He felt sure that Tamara had made it out, that he’d transported her back to safety, even though he only had a rough idea of how he’d done it. It was like before, where he had to tell the blue to go where she last was, except this time he told it to take her to where he wanted: home, to the house, where she could then get to the kids somehow. He prayed that Napoleon and his partner had kept them safe, and that his children were okay now too. But were they really? Would they ever be “okay” again? The truth dwelled there, in the corners of his mind, but it could not hide.

  No, they wouldn’t be.

  He’d made a decision in his life, not that long ago, and that decision had proved to be costly. Very costly. To everyone.

  Feeling nauseous, Kyle stumbled over to a group of boulders near a small batch of cactus plants. A spider scurried over the rock face of the largest boulder as he leaned against it, his hands slipping a bit against the sandy surface. He’d come all this way, only to end up facing the same thing he’d been facing on day one.

  He’d cheated on his wife, and that simple, selfish act had reverberated through the lives of so many. First of all Caitlyn, already in a dark place, who had been dragged down by his lusts. He should’ve been older and wiser. Instead, because of his flirting and advances, she would never have fun with her friends again, or get married, or have children. It was a two-person act, but had he not played his role, could she have ever played hers? And what of The Gray Man? Where was he now? Then there was Napoleon and his partner. What had they been drawn into, and gone through, because of him? He thought of them all so that he wouldn’t think of the ones he was trying so desperately not to think of. But it was no use.

  Tamara and the kids. What had he done to their lives?

  It was too much. His guilt was upon him like a ravenous beast, tearing at the flesh of his heart. “Oh God.”

  He sighed. The battles were over now. He could sense it. All that remained was the aftermath… and a decision.

  Kyle sat down on one of the boulders and began to cry, his eyes filling with tears and his breath growing shallower as the crying became sobs and the sobs became wails.

  He was a domino that had triggered so many others, simply by his own fall. He had so many amends to make, so many wrongs to right, and no time to do any of it. He was changing. God was calling him, and he could hear Him; it was the loudest whisper you could ever imagine.

  “I did it,” Kyle cried. “But I don’t know what to do now, God. What do I do?”

  He had sinned, yes, but his greatest sin had not been his adultery with Caitlyn. It had been in taking his pains and hurts to someone other than Tamara, who had never really been given a chance to address them, had she? Why had he done it? Why?

  You’re looking hard, just in the wrong place.

  Kyle was so stunned he wasn’t sure if he’d really heard him: The Gray Man.

  It began with your father, Kyle. On the day he died.

  “What?” Kyle asked, confused. His vision was blurry from his tears, but when he looked up, he could see The Gray Man standing right over him.

  Sin nature builds, Kyle. Until it crashes down. Then you all get another chance to get it right. But you didn’t. A sad thing happened. You acted poorly, and from there you could’ve chosen to grow, but you didn’t. You chose to focus, again, on you. It’s why you turned your back on your family, on your life, and went chasing after your own end, step by step, in a few short years, right into Caitlyn’s arms.

  Weak. Boneless. Kyle fell to his knees and gripped at the desert sands. “Stop it.”

  No, my friend. I cannot. It is time. We must deal with this. Your focus has always been you, even at the sake of those you love. We could draw a line from Victoria, through your life, to your father’s deathbed, and from there to your relationship with Tamara. But selfishness and love coexist uncomfortably, and at best temporarily, Kyle.

  A moment of silence came between them as Kyle wrestled with his pain. Then, he let it loose. “He had no right to take him!”

  Again, you look in the wrong direction. And this time you will even blame God? You’re wrong Kyle; He had every right.

  “Not before I had a chance to say goodbye! He didn’t! I was at work. Closing a deal, of all thing
s.”

  Where you chose to be, my friend. Please. Lean on the blue. Use it to look inward this time.

  “No. It wasn’t fair,” Kyle said, stifling his tears. But the emotions in him, the shame, the guilt, the deep regret, were all writhing to get out. “I was at work. How could I do that? He was in the hospital and I knew… I knew it was the end. But I wasn’t there! For my own father, who had been there for me my whole life; I wasn’t there.”

  Yes. That’s true. You didn’t want to face his death, so you ran.

  “No.”

  Yes. But, even then, after all you’ve seen, you still don’t understand?

  Overcome with emotion, Kyle shook his head and rocked back and forth, snot and tears running down his face and off his chin.

  This life into the next: it is a process. And the Father works for the good in all things, Kyle. Even our mistakes.

  “What’re you saying, Gray? Please. I don’t understand.”

  It was time for your father to go. But don’t you see? He wouldn’t leave, Kyle.

  “What?” Kyle’s voice was barely a squeak.

  Kneeling down before him, The Gray Man wrapped his arms around Kyle, hugged him tightly and whispered aloud into his ear, “If you were there, in the hospital room, he would’ve never let go, Kyle. It was his time, but he would’ve turned his back… even on heaven… for you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s what you do for someone you love, even if it hurts. You do what’s best for them.”

  The words moved through Kyle like a poem.

  He buried his head in The Gray Man’s chest and slowly, softly, bit by bit, he let go, let it all go, at long last, all the pain. Each ounce of regret, shame and sorrow washed slowly away by the love of The Gray Man’s embrace, which was rinsing him clean. Clean at last.

  “You’re waiting, aren’t you?” Kyle asked, as he released The Gray Man. They stayed that way, on their knees, facing each other.

  The Gray Man nodded softly.

  “It’s time for my decision now, isn’t it?”

  Again, a nod. Kyle had never noticed before, but looking at them so intently now, he could see that The Gray Man’s eyes had speckles of white in them, like stardust.

  “Would I be like you?” Kyle asked.

  “At first you would minister to individuals. That would be your training. Eventually, you would be helping millionths, yes.”

  “I’m afraid, Gray.”

  “Of course you are.”

  “This is such an amazing opportunity.”

  “But it’s still a choice, Kyle. You do understand that, right?”

  Kyle nodded and took a moment to think… and to look. Hard.

  All he could see was Tamara; her small chin and the way her eyes smiled right along with her mouth when something made her happy. He could see Seth’s little hands too, held out in front of him when he would play hide and seek. And he could see Janie and her pigtails bobbing behind her as she ran across the soccer field, looking back over her shoulder at him the way she always did, to see if he was watching.

  It was odd, really, but the biggest decision of his entire life was actually the easiest one he ever made. He was, after all, still his father’s son.

  Kyle looked timidly at The Gray Man. “I don’t want to offend Him. By turning this down, I mean. What if He’s angered or disappointed by my decision?”

  His face looked a little sad at first, but then The Gray Man smiled softly. “Kyle. You’re choosing love, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah. I am.”

  “Then how could He be anything but extremely proud of you?”

  There were no more words. Just the two of them and a fading desert sun for a moment, before at last The Gray Man put his hand on Kyle’s shoulder and said, “Goodbye, my friend.”

  Then everything went blue, one last time.

  NAPOLEON GASPED.

  There was a shift, inside himself, inside his mind, as he felt himself separating from his body. Emotions, like hinges, snapped open: first sadness, and then happiness, resistance, then acceptance. Time’s up. Time to go, he thought.

  He saw Parker’s face, desperate and afraid, looming over him. Poor kid. This was going to be hard on him. But eventually, he’d be okay. Napoleon sighed. There was a feeling of glee sweeping over him, like a cool breeze, and it was making it so much easier to let go. It was all going to be okay.

  As Napoleon felt the weight of an entire lifetime fall from him like leaves from an autumn tree, he saw the world around him.

  It froze.

  Like it had before.

  He stood, but his body remained on the ground and Parker remained kneeling, and all the cops, parents, gangsters and people were like set pieces on a stage.

  Except for one: Efren.

  He was still vibrating, ever so gently, with the raw emotions of sorrow, his face twisted in agony, his eyes dark and vacant.

  The floating feeling within Napoleon was arrested. The glee? Erased.

  “He’ll have a hard time without you,” a familiar voice said from behind him, “but in time I suspect that he will overcome.”

  Napoleon turned. It was The Gray Man.

  “Yeah?” Napoleon replied.

  “He has a strong heart, this one, and sound principles. Despite the home and the world he’s grown up in.”

  A soft smile crossed Napoleon’s lips as he nodded. “Yep. He’s something else.”

  “He got that from you, you know.”

  “Oh. I dunno about that.”

  A few moments of frozen time passed. Finally, Napoleon spoke. “I’m ready to go now.”

  The Gray Man did nothing. Napoleon expected him to sprout wings and fly him off to heaven or something, or at least give him directions on how to get there. Instead The Gray Man said, “Are you sure? I mean, you just got back.”

  Surprised, Napoleon took a half-step. “Back?” he asked perplexed.

  “Yes. You went, but returned.”

  “For what?”

  Chuckling, The Gray Man looked into Napoleon’s eyes. “I think your grandmother already answered that question, Villa.”

  Something crossed between them, in that casual place between life and the afterlife, a mutual understanding through a shared secret, an idea through that thin veil. Napoleon looked back at Efren.

  “Yeah. I suppose she did.”

  “It’s still your right to go. All you have to do is concentrate and go back to that feeling you were having, of overwhelming joy, and it will take you, all by itself, to that place you’ve spent a lifetime considering,” The Gray Man said as he put his hands in his pockets. “Before you do though, I thought I should tell you—there are some of us who actually choose to stay behind, at least for a while, to help others.”

  Napoleon was curious. “Help others?”

  The Gray Man looked at the frozen crowd around them, then to the neighborhood and streets beyond. “There are just so many who are lost, Villa. Who need help solving the problems of their hearts and the crimes of their minds. You’d be good at it.”

  “At what?” Napoleons said. But the question had no sooner come out of his mouth than a possible answer dawned on him. “Wait. Are you talking, like, guardian angel type stuff?”

  The Gray Man smiled and bobbed his head from side to side, as if he were balancing the question on a scale, and replied. “Yes. Of a sort. At least at first.”

  “You mean that stuff’s true?”

  “Yes. And as it turns out, we have an opening.”

  Napoleon knitted his brow and looked up. “An opening? You mean…”

  “Yes,” The Gray Man said with a curt nod. “Kyle Fasano didn’t want the job.”

  Napoleon thought for a second. “He stayed behind to make amends, didn’t he?”

  “Yes. And why not? After all, the love of a good woman is the closest a man can ever get to heaven in this life.”

  Napoleon thought of Esperanza. She who had broken his heart and left him forever behind, bu
t this time la desesperación did not come, this time there was only release. Napoleon may have never found true love in this life, but Kyle Fasano had, and that’s why it made all the sense in the world that he choose to stay. “Good for him,” Napoleon said.

  “Yes. I agree. Good for him.”

  There was a brief moment of silence between them before The Gray Man added, "So?"

  The sky above was open and bright. But heaven wasn’t going anywhere, and for the first time in his life, Napoleon knew it.

  “Why not?” Napoleon said, looking again to Efren. “Will I…”

  “Yes. You’ll be able to keep an eye on him, from time to time, and especially now, as he deals with your loss. But know this: it will be this very loss that will make him forever turn his back on the world this neighborhood has to offer. And you’ll even get to see how he turns out.”

  “Okay, then. I’m in.”

  “Excellent.” The Gray Man smiled.

  They walked side by side to the edge of the park, and as a soft blue light began to overtake him, Napoleon thought of something.

  “Hey, Gray?”

  “Yes?”

  “Does all this count as extra credit or anything?”

  Bemused, The Gray Man shook his head. “No, it doesn’t.”

  Napoleon shrugged. “Then… what? Pass/Fail?”

  The Gray Man laughed, put his hand on Napoleon’s shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. “You’ve already passed, my friend. With honors.”

  Then the world went all-blue… and Napoleon Villa felt a different kind of life come over him.

  CHAPTER 34

  TAMARA FASANO SPLASHED WATER on her face and looked at herself in the mirror. Beneath the harsh light of the bathroom she could see that she’d lost a lot of weight. Her eyes and cheekbones were a bit more pronounced, but besides that it was the same face, her face, staring back at her.

  The hallway outside was dark. Night had come, slow and laborious, absent any stars and with only a sliver of a moon.

  The kids were peacefully asleep, both in Seth’s room, with the door open. She doubted that Janie would ever sleep in her room again, but for some odd reason Tamara wasn’t worried about that anymore. There was something about the house now. It felt cleansed. Safe. Protected. She hadn’t seen any angels wandering the halls or floating over the roof, but she didn’t have to; she could feel them. Most importantly? She believed in them.