Hollywood Hills (2010)
Page 34
"Fibro," Nate said. "Got it."
"Getting tubed is when you're inside the wave, right? So it might apply to certain things in life."
"Roger that," Nate said. "Getting tubed."
"A goat-boater is one of those donks that kayaks into our surf. So that's a pushy dude."
Nate said, "Never goat-boat the kahunas. How am I doing?"
"You're boglius, dude," Flotsam said. "That means you are one coolaphonic copper and it is rad to be sharing your shop for a while."
Nate said wistfully, "And I guess being a coolaphonic copper is even better than being a movie star the way you see things."
"That is rightous, dude. So, are you, like, finally coming around to that conclusion in your own life? Has the old acting bug been sorta swatted?"
"No way," said Nate. "It's just been on hiatus. I'm still determined to grow old and die in the Motion Picture and Television Country House. You can come see me when I'm there and feed me Jell-O shots. Just check my diaper if you bring fastidious people with you, and pour some premium vodka in my sippy cup when the nurses aren't looking."
"Whatever happened to your movie connection up in the Hollywood Hills? Where we dropped the business card on the butler that time?"
"Didn't work out," Hollywood Nate said. "I've seen Sunset Boulevard too many times."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Joe Gillis always ends up facedown in the swimming pool." "He shoulda went to the beach," Flotsam said, "where they got lifeguards."
"Speaking of old movies," Nate said, "we'd better head for Grauman's Chinese Theatre right this minute before we're too late."
"Go for it," Flotsam said. "It'd be way wack and totally bleak if little kids witnessed the dude giving a humungous wedgie to Batman."
"And can you even imagine the shock and awe on the Walk of Fame," Hollywood Nate added, "if that fiend had the gall to give a wedgie to, let's say, Marilyn Monroe? Oh, the horror! Would it be scenery chewing to drive there code three?"