by Kristy Love
“Like how hot he is!” Ry exclaimed before dissolving into giggles.
“He’s hot,” I admitted, though it came out in a smug tone. I answered all their questions, describing what he looked like, what car he drove, and where he worked. They’d both seen the sign for the garage, though they’d never been there. When their questions were exhausted, they looked at me expectantly.
“Why haven’t you made it official yet?” Ry asked.
My mom came over and sat in the chair next to me, a smile on her face. “What are you making official?” she asked.
I groaned. “Mom.”
“Maybe Mom can help,” Cassie said.
I sighed. There was no getting out of here without spilling it. “I’m not sure what to do. I’m scared. And confused. And so fucked up over him.” I buried my face in my hands. As I talked about him, I yearned to see him. I wanted more than to talk about him and the memories. I wanted him.
“You know what I think you should do?” Ry leveled me with her gaze.
“Ry’s good with relationship advice.” Cassie nodded, which clearly made it the hard truth.
“You should see him again and take it to a level you’re comfortable with. If you aren’t comfortable with a relationship, then make it something you can do.”
“Like fuck buddies?” I asked.
“Roxana!” my mom admonished.
I rolled my eyes, totally ignoring my mom’s reaction. Cassie wrinkled her nose in disgust. “You surely don’t want to share him, do you?”
I paused, thinking about it. Did I? No, I really didn’t like that idea, but I also didn’t like the idea of a relationship. That felt too constricting. I wasn’t ready to be tied down yet. “No, I don’t.”
“What about exclusive fuck buddies?” Ry suggested. “You could meet up whenever you wanted, you wouldn’t have to worry about him being interested in anyone else, and you could keep it on the level you’re comfortable with.”
“You’re a goddamned genius, Ry,” I said.
“I told you.” Cassie nodded again.
“Go for it, girlfriend. You call the shots. Grab life by the balls, right?” Ry laughed, which caused both me and Cassie to crack up.
“Maybe your mother wasn’t the best person to get this advice from,” my mom chimed in. We all laughed hard, trying not to disturb the babies, but unable to stop it.
Without giving it more thought, I picked up my phone and texted David.
Roxie: Would you be interested in getting together tonight?
I quickly tucked my phone away. I didn’t want to face his possible rejection. I was afraid I screwed things up by running away too many times.
What did it mean now that I wanted to stop running?
David
I WAS IN the shop, working out my frustrations on a classic Camaro. I was supposed to be fixing an engine issue, but my mind was stuck on Roxie. I couldn’t figure out what made her run every time we were together. I wasn’t going to chase her if she wasn’t interested in being caught, though. Still, I couldn’t keep my mind off her. No matter how much I tried to force my thoughts onto other things, memories of her were always there, teasing me.
What was it about this woman that had me so messed up?
I straightened and wiped my hands on a shop cloth. My heart wasn’t in fixing this car right now, which was a first. I moved through the shop, and then through the showroom beyond the doorway. It was getting dark and everyone was home for the weekend. I scrubbed up in the bathroom and went to my office to sort through paperwork, but didn’t process anything I saw. I kept shuffling papers over and over again.
I wasn’t the guy who got hung up on a girl. If it was clear she wasn’t into me, I moved on straightaway. I didn’t stay with any one person for long. Something about Roxie was different though, and damned if I could figure out what it fucking was.
My phone buzzed on the desk and Roxie’s name showed on the screen. I grabbed my phone and read a text asking if I wanted to get together tonight. I let a big smile cross my face as I quickly typed a response.
David: Sure. When?
Roxie: I won’t be able to get out of here for another hour probably. Is that okay?
David: Yeah. It’ll give me time to get home and take a shower.
Roxie: Your place or mine?
David: Mine.
Roxie: See you in an hour and a half or so.
I locked my phone, feeling like I’d won a battle. I shoved my papers into a sloppy pile and got out of the office. I had no idea what Roxie had planned, but I couldn’t wait to find out.
I WAS SHOWERED and watching a movie on Netflix. I sipped my beer. I was curious to know why Roxie texted me after all this time. I also wanted to understand why I reacted the way I did.
Someone knocked softly on the door and I went to open it. Roxie was on the other side, looking me right in the eye, making some kind of silent dare. We stood there for several long minutes before Roxie raised an eyebrow.
“Are you going to invite me in, David?” she asked, though it came out as a seductive purr. I stepped to the side and motioned her in. She surveyed the room as though she hadn’t been in it before.
“Would you like a beer, or maybe a glass of wine?” I liked watching her move around the room as though she was a stranger there.
“A glass of wine would be wonderful. Thank you.” She didn’t turn toward me and it made me smile for some reason. I went into the kitchen and poured her some wine, then returned and handed it to her. She took a sip and made an appreciative noise before smiling at me. “Delicious.”
My eyes dropped to her lips as she licked the wine from them. Her teeth moved over her lip as though to catch any last drop. I wanted to be where her tongue and teeth were. Something about her turned me on as soon as she walked into a room.
It had been too long. I wanted her.
Her lips were still parted as though in silent invitation. I closed the distance between us and buried my hands in her hair, tipping her face up to mine. My eyes flitted between hers, and I saw nothing but want in them. She wanted this as much as I did.
That was the only reassurance I needed.
I crashed my lips to hers, sinking into the perfection of her wine-flavored lips. Her tongue immediately sought out mine and they tangled, reacquainting after their long absence. The wine glass in her hand fell to the floor and shattered as her hands fisted in my shirt. I didn’t spare a second for the spilled wine or broken glass. They could wait. My desire for Roxie couldn’t.
I moved her until she bumped into the back of the couch. She broke her lips off mine and gasped. I took the moment to devour her neck. I licked and tasted her flesh, reveling in how much I missed it. I’d missed the noises she made, the way she pressed her body tightly into mine, the desperate way she clung to me. It was intoxicating and addictive.
“David,” she moaned. That spurred me on. I reached down until I had her ass in my hands. I lifted her until she was seated on the back of the couch, and her legs wrapped themselves around my waist. The way I fit there was nothing short of perfection. Her long legs, the frantic way she ground into me, her shallow breaths.
“What, love?” I asked, continuing my descent to the bit of cleavage peeking out of her shirt.
“What are we doing?” Her fingers buried themselves in my hair.
“Do you want me to stop?”
“Don’t stop,” she breathed. “Don’t ever stop.”
I picked her up and carried her back to my bedroom, where I lay her on the bed. She lifted her hips to help me as I slowly lowered her skirt. Before long, she was naked on the bed, her lids hooded as her eyes gazed up at me. Her lips were curled up in a seductive smile.
I couldn’t wait any more. The weeks apart had been enough of a tease for me. I grabbed a condom and rolled it on. Silently, she followed my every movement. As soon as I was covered, she motioned me closer.
No more words were uttered as I thrust inside her. She cried out and clawed at my back.
I buried my face in her neck, enjoying the whimpers she made and the uninhibited way she clung to me. It felt as though she was pulling me close and pushing me away at the same time, which was fitting for us. We were a constant push and pull. She either ran to me or from me. In this moment, though, she was here with me. I wouldn’t think of what would come next or why it mattered so much to me.
Roxie came undone and I followed her. I couldn’t help the way I reacted to her, or how amazing she felt. She ran her fingers in lazy trails up and down my back as I caught my breath. I was afraid she’d run as soon as I moved, and I wasn’t ready for that.
“David, you’re kind of crushing me.” I rolled to the side. Now would be the time she ran. I should be okay with it, yet somehow it still bothered me. “Thank you.” She laughed, though it was really more of a giggle. She rolled onto her side and smiled at me. “I wasn’t expecting that kind of greeting.”
“What kind of greeting did you expect?”
Her eyes dropped to my chest, clearly avoiding my eyes. “I was expecting you to be pissed after the last time.”
“I’m not pissed.”
“That’s apparent.” Her eyes moved up to mine and there was something swimming in them, some kind of emotion I didn’t understand. “I didn’t mean to keep running out on you. I was just scared.”
“Of what?”
“Of you.”
I couldn’t think of a single thing that I’d done to make her scared of me, unless I was coming on too strong. There was just something about her that made it impossible to keep my hands off her. “Why?”
“I’m used to casual sex. It’s how I’ve done things for the last six years, but something about you is different and . . . I don’t understand why. I feel myself pulled back to you.” Confusion clouded her eyes as her brows furrowed. “I was fighting it . . . whatever this is. Today I had a bit of an epiphany.”
“And what was this epiphany?” I wanted to reach out and touch her, but I didn’t.
“There’s something between us, and it’s exhausting to keep running. Even if it’s just hot sex that fizzles out in a month, at least I’ll have fun with you until that happens.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at her words. The same exact thoughts had filled my mind since seeing her again when she showed us the house. I wasn’t looking for love or marriage, but I wanted to explore the attraction we both felt. “I couldn’t agree more, love.”
“There is one thing I wanted to run past you before . . .”
“Before what?”
“Before we do whatever it is we’re going to do.”
“I think it’s too late for that. We’ve already done a whole lot of what we’re going to do.”
She laughed and pushed her hand against my chest. “I don’t want to share you.”
My eyebrow raised; her words intrigued me. “What do you mean?”
“I mean you don’t sleep with anyone else, just me.”
“So you’re my girlfriend?” I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, but I wasn’t completely opposed to it.
“No, not girlfriend . . . I just don’t want you fucking anyone else.” Her voice had a touch of defensiveness in it.
“Exclusive shag mates?”
She laughed again. “Yes, exclusive shag mates.”
“I could agree to that, but you have to agree to something as well.”
The smile slid off her face. “What?”
I pushed her to her back, rolling on top of her. “No more running.”
A cloud of what seemed like fear slid across her eyes as she digested what I said. “Okay. No more running.”
Satisfaction filled me and I smiled. “Then we have a deal. Exclusive shag mates who don’t run.”
“Deal.”
We sealed the deal with a scorching kiss that quickly heated into something more. It was even more amazing the second time.
Roxie
Harper: Let’s go out tonight! Hubby is out of town and I’m ready to par-tay!
I CHUCKLED AT Harper’s text. I kept trying to decide how to reply. Usually, I was up for going out and jumped when she texted me, but David and I had plans tonight. We’d been doing this exclusive shag mates thing for a few weeks now and it was working really well. We saw each other a couple of times a week and it was good. There were no strings, we went our separate ways at the end of the night, and the sexual chemistry between us was off the charts. With our busy schedules, we hadn’t been able to get together this past week. Surprisingly enough, I was ready to see him, and hanging out with Harper wasn’t even a consideration.
But how did I get that across to Harper without her asking a barrage of questions?
Roxie: I can’t tonight! Plans already. We’ll catch up soon.
Harper: Cancel them. I’m a free woman and I need my bestie to get drunk with me.
Roxie: Sorry, Not tonight :(
Harper: What do you mean not tonight?
I only had time to read the text before Harper called my phone.
“What do you mean not tonight?” she demanded. I didn’t even have time to say hello.
“I mean I can’t. I have plans.”
“What plans could you possibly have that are more important than hanging out with your bestie?”
I slid a shirt onto a hanger before hanging it in the closet. “Just plans. We’ll hang out soon, promise.”
“You’re being evasive. Why are you being evasive?”
“I’m not being evasive, Harp.”
“Yes, you are.” She was silent a beat before inhaling sharply. “Did someone die? How is Cassie? The baby? Ben? Oh, my God. She’s not getting a divorce is she? I knew she and Jax were too perfect together.”
“Would you calm the fuck down? No one is dying. Everyone is fine and healthy. Everything is good.”
“Then why aren’t we going out tonight and getting sloppy drunk until one of us ends up crying?”
I sighed. I should have known I wouldn’t be able to avoid telling Harper that my plans involved a guy. A guy I was exclusive with. “I’m seeing a guy tonight.” The silence stretched for so long that I pulled the phone away from my ear to make sure I hadn’t disconnected the call. “Harper? You there?”
“You’re seeing a guy.” Her voice was flat and emotionless, as though she didn’t believe me.
“Yes.”
“You’re not hooking up with a guy. You’re not fucking a guy. You’re seeing a guy.”
“Yes, I’m seeing a guy.”
Another long beat of silence passed before Harper spoke again. “Why is it easier to believe someone is dying than that you’re seeing a guy tonight?”
“Because you think the worst of me?”
“Fuck you. I do not. Who is this guy? And what does seeing him mean?”
“The guy is David. And it means just what it sounds like.”
“Are you dating?”
“No.”
“I need more details than this, Roxie.”
I sighed and flopped down on my bed. This conversation would take a while. “It means we’re . . . hooking up, but keeping the hooking up exclusive between us. Normally, we get together for sex then go our separate ways, but tonight David wanted to make dinner for me.”
“Like a date?”
“No, it’s not a date. It’s more like . . . fuel for sex.” She was silent. “Please don’t make a big deal out of this, Harp. It’s nothing.”
“It isn’t nothing. For the past six years, you haven’t been exclusive with anyone. You were the definition of fuck ’em and leave ’em. Now you’re telling me that you’re sleeping with one guy exclusively. That’s like sending out Save the Date cards. This is big.”
“It’s not big!”
“I sure as hell hope it is big. Otherwise, we need to have a talk.” Harper giggled.
I rolled my eyes. “Harper.”
“Okay, okay. Serious mode activated. How long has this been going on?”
“About a month.”
“A m
onth, and you never once thought to tell your bestie?”
“I haven’t told anyone. I don’t want anyone to start picking out His and Hers’ towels or anything. It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement between two consenting adults.”
“You’ve never cared about sharing before. In fact, you’ve always told guys that if they didn’t have someone else, you weren’t interested because it was too much like a commitment.”
She had me there, and I had no response. The truth was, the thought of David with someone else pissed me off. “I know, but it works with David.”
“Somehow, I don’t believe you.”
“Are you going to give me the third degree the whole time or do you want to talk about something else?”
“I fully plan on giving you the third degree until you answer all questions to my satisfaction. So, get comfortable and spill it. All of it. Every nitty gritty detail. Start talking, Rox.”
I sighed, not really sure how to do this, how to have this conversation. I didn’t understand what was brewing inside me, and had no idea how to describe it. “There’s just something about him.”
“I’m sure it’s a big something.” She chuckled. “I want more than that.”
“It started out as my usual casual thing. It wasn’t anything special, but . . . I don’t know, he grew on me. He’s interested in the same things I am, as far as relationships go. It’s working well.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re casual. Exclusive, but no labels.”
“That’s interesting. So you aren’t dating or anything?”
“No.”
“What do you call him then? Boyfriend? Booty call? Fuck buddy?”
“I call him David.”
Harper laughed. “God, you’re such a smart-ass, you know that?”
“You asked, I answered.”
“Okay. More details.”
We talked for over two hours. She wanted to know every encounter, conversation, and detail about David. She kept trying to get me to admit to being in love with him, but I wasn’t in love with him. I liked him. I was interested in him. I was attracted to him, but I wasn’t in love with him. By the end of the conversation, I was so over being on the phone that I was ready to hang up on her. Every time I thought the conversation was winding down, she came up with a bunch more questions that she demanded an answer to. She had questions about things I never even thought of asking him. I dusted, did laundry, and neatened up some piles of paper as we talked.
