Our Love

by Sheena Binkley

  "Michael, what's wrong? You're scaring me."

  I cleared my throat and gave myself a second before I started to talk.

  "Charlie, you have made me so happy from the moment I laid eyes on you. Words can't describe how much you mean to me."

  "That's sweet Michael," Charlie said in a soft voice.

  "I'm not finished, baby. Charlie, I don't know how you feel about me but I know how I feel and I can't keep it inside anymore. I want you and the whole world to know what you mean to me. Charlie, I'm falling in love with you."

  After I said those powerful words, Charlie's expression changed so quickly I thought I told her best friend died. I noticed her whole body was shaking and her face looked white as a ghost. I reach out to touch her shoulder, but she quickly jerked away, causing her tote bag to fall from her shoulder.

  "Great," she said as she bent down to pick up her books that fell from her bag.

  "I didn't mean to upset you. I thought you had the same feelings as I did."

  Charlie got up from the carpet floor and shifted her tote bag to her other shoulder. She looked at me and gave me a weak smile.

  "I have to go. I'll talk to you later."

  She turned away from me and quickly walked down the hallway.

  I watched as Charlie walked further and further away from me as she went down the end of the hall. She didn't even turn around to see if I was still standing in the hallway. I felt like my feet were glued to the floor and I couldn't move for the life of me. I don't know what happened, but I do know one thing: I regretted telling Charlie how I felt.

  Charlie

  Ever since Michael told me he was in love with me, I felt like crap. I couldn't concentrate on my History test, and really didn't feel like being peppy during cheerleading practice. All I wanted to do was go home and cry. I couldn't believe that Michael would tell me this, especially after what happened with Derrick. I had feelings for Michael, but I didn't know if I loved him. Since we have been together, he's all I think about and we have a great time together when we around each other, but am I ready to pursue another relationship? As I looked at the steering wheel to my Mustang, a tear started to roll down my cheek. I looked up and realized that Ashley was standing beside my car with a concerned look on her face.

  "Char, what's wrong?" she asked worriedly.

  "How did I get here?"

  "Evidently you drove. But from the looks of it, you shouldn't have. Come on, let's get you inside." Ashley said as she unlocked the door through the cracked window. She slowly pulled me out of the car and put an arm around me.

  "You're scaring me, Char. What's going on?"

  I looked at her and all of a sudden, all the emotions I had built up finally came rushing out. I fell limp into Ashley's arms as she held me up. I couldn't take it anymore. Everything that had happened finally came to surface and I didn't know how to handle it.

  As we went into Ashley's house, she sat me down on her family's black leather couch and went into the kitchen. She came back carrying a glass of water and a box of tissues. She handed them to me and sat down beside me.

  "Whatever it is sweetie, just let it out."

  I smiled weakly as I grabbed a tissue and wiped my eyes. I had to tell someone what happened today.

  "Thanks Ash."

  "No problem. Now what's up girl? You got me worried."

  "Sorry. It not life threatening if that's what you think. Something happened today that I don't know how to fix. I'm caught up in something that I don't know if I can handle."

  "You want to talk about it?"

  I looked around the beautifully spacious living room and took a deep breath.

  "Michael told me he loves me today in the hallway, in front of everyone at school."

  Ashley's eyes went wide and she started to smile brightly.

  "Char, that's great. So why are you so upset?"

  "Because there's more. I saw Derrick today. He came up to Belmont to talk to me. It turns out that he still has feelings for me and he wants me back."

  "Oh Charlie. You know after all he's done to you, he has a lot of nerve to come up to you like that. I can't believe him."

  "Ash, I never felt so confused in my life. I really care about Michael, but what he said today changes everything between us. He wants more than what I can give him."

  "Char, are you saying what I think you saying. You still don't have feelings for Derrick, do you?"

  I looked at Ashley with a tearful smile.

  "I don't know Ash. I mean I didn't think I did, but I do."

  "Oh Charlie. You know Derrick is slime. Why would you take him back after what he did?"

  "I didn't say I was. I just say that the feelings I had for him kind of resurfaced. I know it sounds crazy, but I didn't realize it until I saw him at Range. I didn't realize how much I still cared for him."

  "What about Michael? He seems so perfect for you."

  "And he is. He's so great. He's has everything going for him, but I don't know if that's enough for me."

  "Let me ask you something. How do you feel when you're around Michael? Do you have butterflies in your stomach? Your chest pounding at the fastest speed possible? When you around him you feel like you and him are the only two people on earth?"

  I looked at Ashley with a spacey look on my face. I started to think about all the times Michael and I had spent together and the feelings I experience when I'm with him. I love his personality, the way he smiles. I could stare into his eyes forever. I love the way he looks at me. I love spending my time with him.

  "What you thinking, Char?" Ashley asked.

  "I'm just thinking about all the times I spent with Michael and the way he makes me feel."

  "So, how does he make you feel?"

  "He makes me feel good inside. He makes me feel whole."

  "So is he the person you want to be with?"

  I looked at Ashley and sighed.

  "I don't know Ashley. I really don't know."

  Michael

  What a day! I thought as I walked into my house. I couldn't believe all the events that occurred. First with Brandy, then with the meeting...

  "And then Charlie," I said as I threw my backpack on the couch. I walked into the kitchen and noticed a note lying on the counter. I looked at it and sighed.

  "Gone out to a charity function. Don't wait up. Figures," I said as I balled up the note in my fist and threw it in the trash can. To be honest, I was glad my parents were not at home. I didn't need their badgering tonight. As I opened the refrigerator, I noticed my dad's beers were sitting nicely in the cold door compartment. I took one out and popped the tap off the bottle neck. I started to drink it, letting the coldness trickle down my throat.

  As I walked into the living room, my cell phone started to ring. I went over to it and checked to see who it was.

  "Sorry Chris," I said as I threw the phone on the couch.

  At this moment, I didn't want to talk to anyone. After I told Charlie I loved her, my whole day went from bad to worse. I couldn't concentrate on my classes, and during practice, I fumbled the ball so many times, Coach had a field day cussing me out.

  "Get you act together Collier before this weekend. We don't need you messing things up for the team!" Coach exclaimed.

  I quickly swallowed the rest of my beer in pure agony. Although I never sulk, today would be the perfect time to do so. As I was about to go to the couch, the doorbell started to ring.

  "What you want?" I said in an angry voice.

  As I went to the door, I opened it and noticed Charlie standing in front of me. I looked at her and sighed. Even though I should be upset with her, I couldn't find it in my heart to be. This was the girl I loved, and I didn't think that would change.

  "I'm falling in love with you too," she said in a soft voice.

  I looked at her as if I didn't understand her.

  "What?"

  "Michael Collier, I love you."

  I stood at the door speechless after what she had just tol
d me. I wanted to talk, but I couldn't get the words to come out.

  "I know you should be mad at me and I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore, but I don't know what happened earlier today. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't find the words to tell you..."

  While Charlie was standing in front of me pouring out her feelings, I walked up to her and pulled her inside my house. I grabbed her waist and pulled her close to me. I had to kiss her soft lips. While we stood in the foyer kissing for minutes, everything in me wanted to explode. I wanted to feel her body next to me. I wanted her so bad at that moment I didn't know if I could control myself.

  As we pulled apart, Charlie looked at me with the most beautiful expression on her face. She looked like an angel to me as she put her hand into mine.

  "Make love to me, Michael."

  I couldn't believe what she just said to me. I suddenly felt overjoyed, but is that what she really wanted?

  "You sure, Charlie? I hope I didn't pressure you into thinking about it, because if I did in any way..."

  Charlie put a finger to my lips and smiled.

  "No Michael. This is my decision. I love you and I want to show you how much."

  "Charlie, don't do this on my account. Just hearing those words from you is more than enough."

  "I know, but I'm ready. I want you and I know you want me too. I want to feel everything with you; that's including you being with me: mind, body, and soul."

  I looked at Charlie and swept her off the ground. Literally, I put her in my arms and carried her to my bedroom. As we got there, I walked toward the bed and laid her gently down. I looked into her soulful brown eyes and kissed her softly on the lips.

  "Since we are going to go to the next step, I want things between us to be perfect."

  "Michael..."

  "Charlie, I want your first time to be special. Why don't you wait downstairs while I set everything up for us?"

  Charlie smiled and kissed me on the lips. As she walked out of my room, I began to transform my room into a beautiful palace, with everything that would make the atmosphere romantic. I went into the guest room, which had everything imaginable stored in the closet. I grabbed candles and some roses that were sitting in a vase by the nightstand. After a few minutes of setting everything up, I ran downstairs with a blindfold in hand.

  "What are you up to Michael?" Charlie asked.

  "You'll see. But first I have a surprise for you," I said while putting the blindfold over her eyes.

  "Wow. This seems kind of fun," Charlie said while I took her hand.

  I led her up the spiral staircase and to my room. I opened the door and walked Charlie over to the center of the room.

  "Are your parents coming home any time soon?" Charlie asked.

  "No. They went to another charity function. I doubt if they will even come home tonight."

  While Charlie was waiting patiently for me to take the blindfold off, I looked around the room and smiled. Everything looked perfect. While I turned my stereo on, the voice of John Legend came on.

  "You ready," I asked softly in Charlie's ear.

  "Yes," she said smiling.

  I smiled as I carefully took the blindfold off. When I did, Charlie looked around the room in total amazement.

  "Wow. This is unbelievable," she said in a soft voice.

  She looked around at the many candles displayed around the room. There were rose petals sprinkled on the floor near the bed. I also put petals on the bed.

  "I wanted you to have a good experience for your first time."

  "Thank you," Charlie said as she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

  "Now I have to make sure if this is what you want."

  "I'm sure Michael. I never have been so sure about anything in my life."

  I smiled at Charlie while I went behind her and put a hand around her waist. I slowly bent my head over to her neck and started to give her soft kisses that put a tingle down her spine. Hearing Charlie's gentle moans only excited me more.

  "What are you doing to me Michael?" Charlie whispered.

  "The exact same thing you're doing to me," I said as turned Charlie around to face me. I lightly touched Charlie's hair with my fingertips. Charlie started to shiver a little.

  "You cold?"

  "No. It just the way you touch me. It makes my body quiver."

  I looked at Charlie as I caressed her skin. She took my hand and started to kiss my fingers. As she slowly inserted my finger into her mouth, I started to moan softly. As we walked over to the bed, Charlie began to unbutton my shirt. She pulled it off my shoulders and stared at my white tank.

  My heart started to beat a thousand miles a minute. To be honest, this moment with Charlie felt like the first time for me too. I know it sounds crazy, but I felt like I was a virgin again and Charlie was the one I wanted to be with. She was everything I wanted in a woman and I was so happy I found her.

  Charlie smiled as she pulled off my tank. She put her hand on my heart as she tried hard to blink back tears. I gently opened Charlie's dress one button at a time. I got to the last button and her dress fell to the floor. She looked so innocent standing there in front of me. Her angelic features only made me more emotional than I was a minute before. We looked at each other longingly and laid on the rose petal bed. I leaned over to put my body on Charlie's and kiss her on her forehead.

  "You ready?"

  "Yes."

  I went into my nightstand drawer and pulled out a condom. While I was putting the condom on, Charlie was on the bed looking around the room. I could tell she was excited, but was nervous too. I knew because I was feeling the same way. After I prepared myself, I went back to Charlie and lay my weight on her. She put her arms around me and kissed me on the lips.

  "I love you, Charlie Perry."

  "I love you too, Michael Collier."

  As we started to kiss, I knew things between us were about to change forever. As we continued, we heard the door to my room open and my parents walked in the doorway. I turned around and quickly grabbed the nearest thing available to cover myself up. Charlie got under my comforter with an embarrassed look on her face. I think my parents were the most shocked of all. They both stood in the doorway with their mouths lying on the floor.

  "Do y'all know what knocking is?" I asked angrily.

  "Excuse me, but this is our house. You have no business to tell us what we should do," my mom said in a raised voice.

  "Y'all have a funny way of showing it." I said as I went towards my door. I took both my parents arms and escorted them to the hallway. I close the door behind me and look at them.

  "Who is she?" my mother asked.

  "I thought y'all were at a charity function?"

  "Don't change the subject. How could you bring someone in here and have sex in our house?"

  "Oh please, Mom. Like this is the first time. Why are y'all so concerned about what I do in this house?"

  "Don't talk to us like we're one of your friends. We're your parents!" my dad yelled.

  "Wow Dad. It's nice for you to finally realize that."

  "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

  I started to laugh after my dad's remark.

  "You know what, there's no point in explaining what it means. Why don't you two figure it out during one of your functions," I said as I went back in my room and slammed the door.

  As I walked back into my room, I saw Charlie on my bed fully dressed.

  "I'm so sorry about my parents barging in like that. They had no right to do that."

  "I thought you said your parents were out for the night?"

  "That's what I thought. Listen, why don't we get out of here and go to a place where no one will bother us."

  "No Michael. I think I had enough excitement for one day," Charlie said as she got up and went to the door. She turned around and sighed.

  "I can't walk out there. I'm already embarrassed about your parents catching us. They probably think I'm some slut."

  "Don't even
say that. Don't worry about my parents. If you want, I can get you out through my window."

  "And kill myself? I would like to see tomorrow, Michael."

  "Well let's go downstairs together. And whatever my parents say, don't reply back," I said as I went to the door. While I waited for Charlie, I stepped out into the hallway. I took Charlie's hand and smiled.

  "It's going to be okay."

  Charlie looked at me and sighed. "I'll take your word for it."

  As we walked downstairs, I noticed my parents were in the living room looking at the two of us with a stare that could make the whole room turned to ice. Maybe even glass.

  "I'm really sorry Mr. and Mrs. Collier. Believe me this will never happen again," Charlie said while looking at my parents.

  "What's your name dear?" my mother asked in a polite tone. From the looks of things, I could tell things were about to turn ugly.

  "Charlie. Charlie Perry."

  "Charlie, how rare. Anyhow, do you do this on a regular basis? Have sex with guys in their parents' homes without any regards for the people who pay the rent."

  "Mom!" I yelled.

  "Is this called for Irene?" my dad asked.

  "It's fine Michael. Mrs. Collier, with all due respect, I'm deeply sorry for what just happened, but for what you just said, you assumed I'm just someone who would disrespect parents by doing whatever I want. Mrs. Collier, you cannot judge me based on this incident."

  "Why not? I mean I walked in on you and my son about to have sex. How am I supposed to judge you after that?"

  Charlie looked at my mom and smiled.

  "Good night Mr. and Mrs. Collier," she said in a rush. As she was walking out, my mom said something that changed my feelings for her forever.

  "It would be good night when you leave my property. Don't ever come back here."

  Charlie rolled her eyes at my mom and smiled.

  "You don't have to worry about that. Damn racist," Charlie said under her breath.

  "What did you say to me?" my mom asked as she got up from the gold armchair. As she was about to go toward Charlie, my father ran over to his wife and pulled her towards him.

  "You heard me. You're a racist and you know it. You not upset because you found Michael in bed with a girl; you're only upset because I'm black."