The Slayer

by Brenda Huber

  That was why she hadn’t been startled by the unannounced visitor. She’d figured it was Gideon, or one of the others, though Gideon had just made his daily check-in a little over an hour ago. His attitude toward her seemed to have softened, though there was a certain hollowness in his eyes. He’d even been known to sit down and watch a few sitcoms now and again. Strange pastime for a demon, but there it was.

  She’d even had one brief, wary visit from an angel named Samuel. He’d appeared one day, just outside the cabin door, and called out to her, tried to assure her that she would come to no further harm at the hands of the angels. She’d believed that about as much as she’d believed Xander would come back from the dead. After all, it had been an angel, not a demon, who had taken Xander from her. And so she’d told the angel, in no uncertain terms to get lost and never darken her doorway again.

  Shaking her head, she blinked when Xander’s mirage smiled. A full blown, teeth showing smile, grooves in his cheeks and all. And that was what convinced her this was all a figment of her imagination. Xander did not smile. Well, at least he hadn’t until toward the end. She squeezed her eyes closed. Counted to ten.

  Miracle of miracles, when she opened them, he was still there.

  Anguish clogged her throat. With a sob, she deliberately blinked again, almost hoping he’d be gone. She couldn’t take this. This was some cruel trick her mind was playing on her. Nothing more.

  But he was still there.

  “Kyanna—”

  Her muffled sob interrupted him. Pressing one trembling hand to her stomach, and a fist to her mouth, she shook her head again. Not real. Not real, she chanted in her mind.

  “Not real,” she whispered aloud.

  A frown creased his brow and he stepped forward.

  Gasping, sucking in one desperate lungful of air after another, she bent over at the waist as the room began to spin. And suddenly he was there, his strong arms surrounding her, lifting her up, his warm body supporting her. His familiar scent surrounding her.

  With a cautious finger, she reached out and poked him in the middle of the chest.

  Solid. He was solid. Warm. Flesh and blood.

  “Xander?” she sobbed weakly, then threw her arms around him. Babbling, bawling, she peppered his smiling face with wet kisses.

  His lips finally found hers, captured them, and, angling his head, he deepened the kiss until her knees shook. Trembling, she jerked back, pushing him away.

  “You died.” She shook her head, backing up another step, fingers pressed to her tingling lips. She reached out, her hands hovered over his chest, but not quite touching. It didn’t matter, he held on to her arms, refusing to release her.

  “You died!” she insisted.

  “No. Well, yes. Maybe. But I’m back,” he clarified in that same raspy voice she’d come to know and love—come to miss more than she could have ever imagined.

  “I don’t understand,” she whispered, staring up at him. His image through a thick veil of tears.

  “You need to sit down. You look like you’re about to fall on your face. Do you want a drink or—”

  “I don’t want to sit down,” she snapped, suddenly furious. Oh Lord, was she angry. Slapping a hand against his chest, she pushed at him and demanded, “I don’t want a damned drink. I want an explanation. What the hell happened to you? Where have you been all this time?”

  “All this time?” Now he was the one scowling. “How long have I been gone?”

  “Six days.”

  “Six—” He released her, took a deep breath and ran a hand over his jaw. “Of course, I didn’t think—”

  Frustrated, she glared at him. “Of course, what?”

  Taking another deep breath, Xander snagged her by the wrist and dragged her to the couch. He put his hands on her shoulders and, more or less, pushed her down onto the couch. He sat beside her and drew her cold hands into his.

  “Let me explain.”

  “I really wish you would.”

  He gave her a stern look, and she gritted her teeth, pressed her lips together.

  “There’s a lot for me to explain, so bear with me…please. I owe you an explanation, and an apology. Where do I even start?” He shook his head, clutching her hands like a lifeline. “I did die,” he began. “When Gabriel stabbed me, I died. He didn’t take my head, but the Sword of Justice—never mind all that.” His expression filled with wonder at this point. “I returned to Heaven, Kyanna. After all this time. I returned. And that was because of you.”

  “Me?”

  Now guilt, unmistakable and heavy, flooded his features. “That first night, when I laid my hand upon your chest and—” He broke off, licking his lips. “You asked me what I did to you.”

  “You said you took part of my essence.”

  “Yes. That was true, but not—I think—in the way you believe.”

  She went very still. “What do you mean, Xander?”

  He drew a deep breath. “I took a part of your very soul.”

  “My soul?” Kyanna cocked her head, eyes narrowed. “My soul?”

  Xander nodded.

  Kyanna’s mind raced. What did that mean? What did it really mean? Absorbing part of her soul?

  “How much did you take?”

  “I, ah, I don’t really know.” His face was so serious, and so filled with anguish, she couldn’t bring herself to yell, or burst from her seat in a fit of anger. She couldn’t see past his misery. Or her own happiness at having him back.

  Besides, he had to be wrong. She felt fine. Normal. Certainly no different than she had before he’d burst into her life. Well, other than the all-consuming love she’d developed for him, of course.

  “Will it grow back?”

  He blinked, as if startled by her question.

  “No,” he said cautiously. “Souls don’t grow. They tarnish and blacken with evil thoughts and deeds.” But then he cocked his head. “But they can be redeemed too…hmm, I guess, on second thought, maybe it is possible.” He gave a helpless shrug. “No one’s ever done anything like this before. Only taken part of a soul.”

  Her mind muddled around his explanation. It was hard to be angry when she’d come so close to losing him. Every day, every moment since she’d lost him, she’d pleaded with God, bargained to do anything, give up anything to have Xander back?

  Was this the price she was to pay?

  She stared deep into those turbulent gray eyes rimmed with thick black lashes. It seemed a fair enough price to her. Heaven knew there were too many others out there who’d be willing to do the same to get a loved one back, only they hadn’t been given this second chance. Who was she to naysay it?

  “You said you went to Heaven because of me. How?”

  “As a demon, when I died, I should have gone to Oblivion. I should have had a soulless death.” His thumb began rubbing circles over the backs of her knuckles. “But ever since I absorbed that portion of your soul, I haven’t felt the need to feed again. Not like I should have by now. There’s been this strange…hum of energy constantly inside me now.” He reached up and cupped her cheek. “It was that part of your soul inside me, sustaining me. Saving me. Because of that bit of your soul, I was drawn to Heaven, rather than fading to nothing. Because of that bit of your soul, I was given another chance. You saved me.”

  Kyanna caught her lower lip between her teeth as she searched his eyes. This was too good to be true. This didn’t happen in real life. A portion of her soul for the man she loved. She’d pay it again, twice over, if it was required of her.

  He gave her a strange look. “Why aren’t you furious with me? Why aren’t you shouting and cursing me?”

  A tremulous smile curved her lips. She reached out, taking his face between her hands. “Because, if it means saving you, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

  His smile was blinding. H
e swooped down and captured her lips in a tender kiss. But remembering that not all her questions had been answered, not knowing how long she had left with him, she pulled back. “What about the rest?”

  Her emotions were on a rollercoaster. She was so grateful to have him back. So confused over his presence when he should, by all accounts, be dead. And she was so angry at being left in the dark for nearly a week. A week filled with nothing but unmitigated, crushing grief.

  “I was given a choice.” He looked as if he couldn’t quite believe it himself. “I could remain there, an angel once more. Or I could return here, to you. Less than a demon, but more than a man.”

  Frowning, she struggled to take it all in. He’d gone to Heaven? Then why was he here with her?

  “But you’re here? What about Heaven? I thought…all this time, you’ve been trying to go back. You’ve worked so hard and—”

  “And none of that mattered when I realized if I stayed there, I couldn’t have you.”

  She tugged her hands from his, confusion, guilt, hope overwhelmed her. “But—”

  “I told you how it is in my world, Kyanna.” He took a firmer grip on her hands, refusing to let her put physical distance between them. “I will always come for you. And I will never, never let you go.”

  “But a week, Xander?” she reminded him. “It took you that long to make up your mind? I mean, I didn’t exactly expect you’d flip a quarter or something. But six days?”

  God help her, but she couldn’t keep the sudden anger and the pain from her voice. He’d left her. Abandoned her without explanation. First sent her away, and then stayed gone for days without thought to how that would make her feel. How was she supposed to not take that personally?

  “It’s not like that, Kyanna. Didn’t the others explain?”

  “Explain what?” She finally succeeded in jerking her hands from his and pushed to her feet. Crossing her arms defensively, she paced to the far side of the fireplace.

  He rose, but when she took a hasty step back, he remained in place. “Time passes differently in Heaven, just as it does in Hell. A few minutes in Heaven can be days on Earth. A few hours on Earth are, in turn, days in Hell. It’s all relative.”

  Struggling to wrap her mind around that, she raked her fingers through her hair, paced away, paced back, and wrung her hands together.

  Finally she stopped, and peered up at him. “Why?”

  “Why what?”

  “Heaven, Xander. You gave up Heaven?” Then, her mind made up, she forced a swallow, firmed her resolve, and crossed her arms. Lifting her chin, she said, “You have to go back.”

  “What?” His incredulous expression spoke volumes.

  “You have to go back. I’m sure it’s not too late. With everything you’ve done, all the innocents you’ve saved, God has to give you another chance…” Her voice trailed away as he shook his head.

  “I’m not going back.” He went to her then, drew her resisting form into his arms. “At least, not right now, anyway. Why did you stay here? When you thought I was gone, why did you stay?”

  She clenched her teeth, not wanting to answer. But he wouldn’t be denied. He squeezed her, gave her a little shake.

  “Being a Guardian doesn’t come with a hefty salary, you know.” She struggled, pushing against his chest. But still he held her, caged her in his arms. “I didn’t have anything to go back to, if you remember. Someone burned my store down.”

  He stilled. Frowned. Then, shaking his own head, he pressed. “That’s not why, and you know it.”

  But she refused to admit aloud that she couldn’t bear the thought of leaving this place behind. Of losing that last tenuous tie with him.

  As if he’d read her thoughts somehow, he smiled again—a truly unnerving sight—and he ducked his head to kiss her. But she pulled back at the last moment. Shaken. What if something like this happened again? What if he didn’t come back the next time?

  “We both want this. I know it, and so do you.” He growled, low in his chest. “Stop resisting and give in. Let me love you.”

  Those were the wrong words.

  Struggling in earnest now, she forced him to release her lest he hurt her. She’d had six days to second guess everything between them. Six days of grief to twist her emotions into a million tiny knots. Six days to doubt herself. And him.

  “You sent me away.” She pushed her hair back as she stomped across the living area, stopping only when she had the safety of the heavy couch between them. “Love, Xander? You don’t love. The Slayer doesn’t love. You don’t know what love is.”

  Scowling, he opened his mouth, but she hurried to cut him off. “Love is standing beside each other, all the way to the end. Trusting in each other to stand firm. Not sending the other away when things get tough. This, what’s between us, is just…sex. It’s just sex.”

  She wouldn’t survive the loss of him again, and so she pushed him away, the only way she knew how.

  “The hell it is,” he exploded. In one swift move, he sent the couch flying and he was in her face.

  “Go back, Xander. There is nothing for you here.”

  He scowled as he took her by the shoulders. “I came back for what is mine. You are here. You are mine.”

  “No, not any longer,” she denied, though the words left a hollow ache in her chest.

  “I’m not your wuss Jack. I’m not civilized. I won’t walk away because you’re too afraid to face your feelings.”

  “Afraid.” She gasped, her mouth hanging open. Words jumbled in her mind, but she couldn’t get them to pour out.

  “Afraid,” he repeated forcefully. “You believe I will leave again. But I won’t. You have given yourself to me. You’ve given your body to me. You’ve given your heart to me. You love me. You. Are. Mine.”

  She glanced away, unable to look him in the eye with the lie bitter on her tongue. “No. You’re wrong. You did walk away. And you’d do it again if you thought it was the right thing to do. You made your decision. A decision that we should have made together. A decision you know I would never agree to. What we had was nothing more than sex. I don’t love you. Not anymore.”

  “It was more than sex,” he growled. He shook her, forcing her to look at him. “You love me still!”

  “Stop it! Stop using your lie radar on me.”

  “I’m not reading you. I can’t read you anymore. I can’t read anyone anymore. I am a half-mortal now. And you do love me still. I can feel it. Here, I can feel it.” He slapped her hand to his chest, held it there when she resisted. His heart beat strong beneath her palm. Xander lowered his head, his lips mere inches from hers. “Because I love you too. Tell me again that you don’t love me. Look at me and tell me that you don’t want me. I’ve given up everything to be with you. Given up my immortality, given up Heaven. To be with you. Look me in the eyes and tell me that it was all for nothing,” he said, his voice growing hoarse.

  Her mouth fell open as the truth of his words finally hit her.

  “You won’t leave again?”

  “Never again,” he vowed solemnly.

  On a sob, Kyanna launched herself into his arms, tears streaming down her face. “Tell me. Tell me again.”

  “I won’t leave.”

  “No, the other,” she said between kisses.

  “I love you.” Laughing now, he wrapped his arms around her and spun around. “I’ll love you forever, Kyanna Hughes. And no one and nothing will ever keep us apart again.”

  “I love you too, Xander.”

  He lowered her to her feet, his mouth on hers, stealing her breath, stealing her inhibitions. Hands fumbled, tugged and pulled stripping clothing away in a frantic rush.

  “I need you,” he whispered against her lips, “I need you so badly, Kyanna.”

  “Now, Xander! I can’t wait any longer.” He didn’t give her time to make
any further comments. He sealed his lips over hers, vanished their clothing, and lowered her to the thick rug in front of the fireplace. Dancing orange flames roared to life in the grate, as greedy flames of desire licked through her body. His hands swept over her, spreading those flames, stoking them, fueling them into a raging inferno. And all the while, his lips moved over her, branding her flesh.

  “I’m yours, sweetheart. For as long as you’ll have me,” he whispered in her ear. “And longer still.”

  “Forever. I won’t take less than forever.”

  She caught her breath as he wedged his knee between hers. Kyanna moaned aloud as he settled himself in the cradle of her thighs and rubbed the length of his throbbing erection against her. His mouth scorched the length of her throat.

  “Forever,” he groaned as he slipped inside her.

  His mouth sealed over hers, angled, deepened the kiss as his body began moving upon hers, moved powerfully inside her. Xander guided her legs around him as he rocked, slow and steady, deep into her.

  As their bodies strained toward release, Xander stared down at her. “I love you.” He dropped a kiss to her lips, adding, “You’re never getting rid of me.”

  And then he drove them both over the edge.

  Epilogue

  Niklas stepped back into the shadows, lifting the champagne flute to his lips as he watched the happy couple kiss. Again. For the bazillionth time. Maybe he should have gifted them with a lifetime supply of Chapstick instead of a month long honeymoon in Maui.

  He tugged at the collar of his monkey-suit. Wearing fine silk adorned with lace and seed pearls, Kyanna was stunning. Xander didn’t look half bad in his own monkey-suit either. For a besotted fool, that was. Though it had been a small—very small—affair, Kyanna had insisted she wasn’t getting married while half the wedding party was dressed in combat gear.

  They still hadn’t quite figured out all the nuances of Xander’s return. Not that Xander had given them much time to work out all the kinks. He hadn’t allowed himself to be away from Kyanna’s side for more than a few hours at a time. They had figured out that Xander no longer needed to siphon human souls to exist. He could still shimmer and conjure. He could still form plasma balls. But he’d lost the ability to call forth Hellfire. They were still testing the parameters of his abilities. However, when injured, he healed at the normal rate of a human—therefore, he could be mortally injured. Something Kyanna, of course, was not happy to hear. Especially when he’d revealed his life span was now tied directly to Kyanna’s, thanks to the portion of her soul that he’d absorbed. He would age as she did. And when she died, he would follow. Unfortunately, to Xander’s dismay, the reverse was true as well. One half could not survive without the other.