Christie Kelley

by Every Night Im Yours

  “Banning, what aren’t you telling me?” There was definitely something he was trying to avoid with her.

  “Absolutely nothing.” He strode to the door. “I’ll haul the water up for your bath.”

  He left before she could question him any further. What was going on? And why couldn’t he tell her? Avis pressed her lips together, flicked the coverlet off her, and reached for her wrapper. She walked to the window. The sea was venting its wrath on the beach, tearing at the sand, taking the seashore back out with it. Darkness seeped into Avis. Could he have lied to her? Perhaps he wasn’t truly attracted to her at all but did this for some illicit reason.

  Another wager? She shook her head in denial. A wager made no sense, as he was no young rascal out to break a girl’s heart now.

  Unless he wanted to break a woman’s heart for some wrong she might have done to him years ago.

  Banning watched the water heating and sighed. Perhaps he should tell her the truth about Billingsworth. However, he still believed she liked Billingsworth too much and wouldn’t believe him. In a few short weeks, she would be his wife. Then he could order her not to see the bastard and she would have to obey him. He almost laughed aloud at the idea of Avis obeying him. She was no wallflower to let him impose his rule on her. It was one of the things he lov—truly liked about her. She wasn’t afraid to let him know her true feelings on any subject.

  Remembering his purpose in being downstairs, Banning searched for the copper tub and hefted it up to the bedroom. He was surprised to find Avis staring out the window. She didn’t move when he entered the room.

  “Are you all right?”

  She nodded.

  He could not stand for another conversation about why he made his offer to her so he refused to question her further. Another day perhaps, but not today. As long as she still considered Billingsworth her friend, she would never understand that he’d been trying to protect her. So instead of facing her condemnation, he retreated to the safety and loneliness of the first floor.

  He was right about his decision not to tell her about Billingsworth. Exposing Avis to the gruesome details of both those nights would do her no good. It was his job as her future husband to protect her from such things. Telling her would only hurt her, harden her as it had him. The last thing he wanted was Avis becoming cynical about men.

  He poured water from the kettle into a large bucket. After getting two buckets ready, he carted them upstairs. She still hadn’t moved from the window.

  Don’t look, he told himself.

  Damn. He looked.

  This time he caught her wiping a tear away as if she could do it before he noticed. He hated women’s tears.

  He strode from the room determined to get the water for the bath as he’d promised. He brought up several more buckets and tossed the water into the tub. She had yet to say a word to him, but at least it looked as if her tears were finished.

  “Your bath is ready.”

  “Thank you,” she said with a little sob.

  Damn. He wasn’t totally heartless. He looked at her and couldn’t keep himself from bringing her into his arms. “Why are you crying?”

  “I am not crying. I don’t cry.”

  “Avis?”

  “I know you’re not telling me something, and I hate it.”

  He wanted to deny her accusation, but couldn’t. “I told you everything you need to know.”

  She pushed away from him. “Everything I need to know? Which means you’re not telling me something on the pretense that I don’t need to know. Why did you make your offer to me? Were you seeking revenge because I spurned your kiss eight years ago?”

  “No. I wanted to keep you away from Billingsworth because he is truly not worthy of you.” That sounded better than he might beat you close to death.

  She looked at him with watery eyes. “He has always been kind to me.”

  Unlike Banning. Those unspoken words ate at him, twisting his stomach into a tight knot. “I only wanted to stop you from meeting him like this.”

  She blinked and shook her head, golden brown hair flying around her face. “But it was all right for us to meet like this?” She paused and studied him for a moment. “You never meant for us to go away together, did you?”

  “Of course not, Avis. You are an unmarried woman whose reputation is important to her station. I didn’t want to ruin you.” Damn. How would he get out of this one?

  “But you still offered yourself to me and even blackmailed me into this affair. Why, Banning? Why did you do that when you knew if anyone discovered the truth of where I was I’d be ruined?”

  Because I took the one chance I had to make you my wife. He certainly couldn’t tell her that. “You won’t believe me if I told you.”

  “Well I won’t know if you don’t speak of it.”

  Banning sat on the bed and blew out a breath. There was no way out of this mess. He had to tell her something. But she didn’t need to know all the grim details, only the mildest possible version.

  “Billingsworth beat a prostitute when he was at Eton. I didn’t want anything to happen to you.”

  Avis went pale and swayed until she reached for the bedpost. “Why?”

  “He said she was stealing money from him.”

  “Well—”

  Banning stood in one fluid motion. “Don’t defend that man to me. I saw what he did to that woman. She was only taking what he’d promised her.”

  She bit her lip and blinked back tears. “I can’t—”

  “Don’t,” he warned her again. “I couldn’t let you go away with him where you might be in harm’s way.” He reached out and slowly drew her to him. “And I couldn’t let you go to another man with this between us.”

  He sought her sweet lips and the forgiveness he hoped he would find there. With only a brief hesitation, she responded to him. He wanted to give her everything she wanted, needed, or secretly desired, but first, he wanted her to have a warm bath to ease her soreness.

  “Take a bath while I shave,” he said, pulling away from her.

  “Are you staying here while…” her voice trailed off.

  “I believe after this morning, there isn’t anything on you I haven’t seen.”

  Her cheeks blossomed with embarrassment. Slowly, she removed her wrapper, and Banning rethought his decision about shaving first. Before he could say a word, she slipped into the steamy tub of water.

  “Ahh, this feels wonderful.”

  His cock instantly reacted to the view of Avis lounging in the bath. She soaped her face and neck before moving lower. She slipped her hands over her nipples, taking care to wash them until they puckered for her. He was about to lose his mind as the soap disappeared between her legs. Her nipples jutted out from the top of the soapy water, the thick patch of curly hair at the juncture of her legs darkened with the wetness. And now he was supposed to pick up a blade and scrape his face with his shaking hands.

  “Do you want to join me?” she asked with a seductive smile.

  “Hell yes.”

  He stripped off his shirt and trousers and then slid into the end of the small tub. She brought her slick body on top of his and proceeded to wash his neck. His head fell back as her hands skimmed over his chest and rubbed against his nipples. He never expected Avis to be so bold, and he loved her for it.

  “What is this?” Avis asked, circling a scar he had tried to forget.

  A day he wanted to forget for eternity but never could. “I was hit in France.”

  “Someone shot you?”

  “That is generally what happens during war, Avis.”

  She splashed water at his face. “I realize that. But it was kept so quiet. Jennette never told me you were in the army.”

  “I wasn’t. I worked for the Home Office.”

  “You?”

  “Yes. Trey and I helped out on a few missions. During one, I was shot. Trey arranged for my transport home and stayed with me while I recovered. We worked as a team.”

&n
bsp; She rested her chin on his chest and stared up at him with a questioning look. “I thought I knew everything about you.”

  “Indeed?”

  “Yes, indeed. Your sister loves to talk about you.”

  “Yes, and I love talking about her, but right now, I have a beautiful woman on top of me and no desire to discuss my sister.”

  He drew her face up to his and kissed her until all thoughts, all questions, were banished.

  After spending two days blissfully naked in bed, they dressed and strolled on the storm-torn beach, picking up shells tossed from the sea. When they returned to the cottage he began to read her story.

  Avis sat nervously picking at her short fingernails, awaiting his pronouncement. Only twenty pages or so into the story he exclaimed, “You know absolutely nothing about men.”

  “Whatever are you talking about?”

  “This,” he said, pointing to a page. “On page twenty-five you have Lord Shipley declaring his undying love for the heroine. No man would do that.”

  “Admit he loved her, or just admit it so quickly into the story?”

  He glanced toward the window, staring at the sea with a pensive countenance. “Not on page twenty-five.”

  He continued reading, but her ire climbed with every “Humph” and “Not bloody likely.” She strummed her fingers on the arm of the settee. She knew men. She knew exactly how conniving they could be when they wanted something.

  “Avis, I realize you never had a brother, but really, no man would do this.”

  “Do what?”

  “Fall in love at practically first sight.”

  “Why not?”

  “Men don’t do that.” Seeing her look of disbelief, he added, “It’s true.”

  “I presume you mean to tell me that you don’t believe in love?” she asked in a haughty manner. Most of the stories she read contained some romance and she secretly enjoyed reading them. She had tried to use some of her friends’ husbands as examples for her story but had become quickly disillusioned. The only positive model she noticed had been the Kesgraves, but they had only been married a short time. Avis imagined even her parents’ marriage had a few good months.

  “Actually, I believe some people do fall madly in love. However, most good marriages are based on social and economic reasons. Land, money, and social standings are the basis of a good marriage. Companionship is what makes the marriage strong. Love comes from companionship.”

  She had never thought Banning would be so commonsensical regarding marriage. She thought he’d be a romantic at heart especially after seeing how he’d made the extra bedroom into a study for her. “So you don’t believe in love, do you?”

  “I don’t think it happens within two days of meeting someone.”

  She cocked her head and stared at his windblown hair. “So I should never have Shipley admit his love to Sarah?”

  “Well, perhaps you should. It would make for some nice discord if Shipley declares his love, and she falls for another man.”

  “Another man? Who?”

  “The answer is here on page thirty. The way you describe Haywood looking at Sarah is perfect.”

  “Haywood is Shipley’s best friend.”

  “And it is so obvious to the reader that Haywood is the man for a high-spirited woman like Sarah.”

  Avis bit down on her lip in thought. “But Emory said it would give women the wrong impression.”

  Banning gave her a wry smile. “Did he now?”

  Her first thought had been to make Haywood the hero, but Emory talked her out of it. He was the published author. He knew best. “Yes, and he was right. A woman of her station should be interested in a man who is at least her equal in rank.”

  “Very dull, my dear.”

  “But Haywood? He is only a squire and a gambler, while she is the daughter of an earl. A match between them—”

  “Would make for a very romantic tale.”

  She caught his excitement. “You might be right. Whenever Sarah talks to Haywood there seems to be this…well, attraction.”

  “Just listen to how you describe his bowing over her hand. ‘He took my hand in his strong grip. Shivers raced up my arm until I thought my entire body would be consumed in them. His lips kissed my gloves and searing heat scorched a mark where he caressed me.’”

  Banning looked over at her and smiled. “Haywood is the hero for Sarah.”

  “But isn’t he rather arrogant for a hero?”

  His brows rose. “There is nothing wrong with a little arrogance.” He placed the papers on the table next to his chair and walked toward her. “Does my criticism bother you?”

  “No,” she answered. “I believe you might be right about it.” But could she do it? Could she write the story the way she had originally intended it to be? In her mind, all she could hear was Emory’s voice telling how important it was for her peers to accept her work, and no woman of the ton would let her daughter fall for a man like Haywood.

  “I know I’m right,” he said, lifting her off the settee and into his arms. Right where she wanted to be, for a very long time.

  Her mind flashed with images of summers spent just like this, winters by the fireplace in town. Perhaps they could continue their liaison after their two weeks…until he decided to marry someone. Then she would have to give him up.

  “So what has given you that far off look?”

  “Memories of you,” she whispered, and then kissed him softly.

  “Memories? We’ve barely started making memories yet. There is so much I want to share with you.”

  “Oh?”

  “Hmm,” he said, kissing her neck. “Like making love outside. I love that.”

  “What else do you love?”

  “Let me show you.” He grasped her hand and led her out to the terrace. “That,” he said, pointing to the sea. “I should have been a ship captain. I love the wildness of the sea.”

  He stood behind her as she looked out at the water with him. His hand reached around her waist, pulling her up against his hard length. Her nipples tightened from his close contact. Dear Lord, she was becoming insatiable.

  Surely he’d noticed her breasts because his hands reached to cup each one. She arched her back as he kneaded her breasts. His lips burned on her neck. When he pulled her bodice over her breasts, baring them for the world to see, she stiffened.

  “Banning, we’re out of doors,” she whimpered.

  His mouth traced the shell of her ear, sending tingles down her back. “I own the outdoors here. No one is around for miles.”

  “I—I…What about the Hathaways?”

  “They’re probably doing the same thing we are,” he said with a husky laugh.

  She should stop him before she succumbed to this madness. But the heat from his kisses on her neck seared her mind until she couldn’t think. Her wits never won when Banning was near.

  He pushed her skirts up and out of the way then slipped his breeches down his hips and entered her wetness from behind her. Avis gasped at the sensation of fullness as he grasped her hips with his strong hands. Excitement rushed through her as he rocked her hips against his.

  Dear Lord, she needed him.

  She had lost control of her life. The only thing that mattered was the man behind her who could bring her such happiness and pleasure. And she wanted to please him. She wanted more than she had ever imagined. She wanted his lo—

  She closed her eyes as her release washed over her.

  Burrowing deep in her, he stiffened his muscles then succumbed to his own pleasure. The smell of the sea air mixed with the musky scent of their love. Thankfully, she hadn’t removed the sponge from this morning. She could only hope that it would still work.

  Love.

  She had almost thought that she loved him. Love meant losing yourself. Losing your self-preservation. Love led to violence—no. She had to stop thinking in such a manner.

  “You are the most incredible woman,” he murmured.

  What ha
d she been thinking? She had so completely lost control of her sense that she let him make love to her out on the terrace. Banning made her do the most absurd things. Things she’d never even thought of until she came to know him so well. Making love outside? In the middle of the afternoon where anyone could have spied them. She had gone away with a man to learn about passion, but she was now no better than the strumpets down at the docks.

  What was wrong with her?

  Could she truly believe that she was falling in love with him? The idea was too impossible to contemplate. She didn’t love Banning. Loving him would make her life unbearable since she could never marry him.

  What did she want from Banning?

  Not love and marriage. Her mother had loved her father desperately, no matter how many times he’d abused her. No man would ever be able to convince Avis that marriage was something she needed.

  Banning slowly moved off her and then turned her into his arms. “What is wrong?”

  How had he sensed something was wrong? “Nothing at all,” she said in a completely unconvincing voice.

  “Are you embarrassed by what we just did?”

  She shrugged.

  “No one saw us, Avis.” Banning took a deep breath. “What we did is perfectly normal. We are two lovers carried away by passion.”

  He chuckled softly. “I should take you to the Abbey in Surrey. We have a lovely maze and could make love once we found the middle. I’ve heard rumors that it is quite an adventure.”

  “No more sexual congress outside. Besides, we only have these two weeks and driving to Surrey would take days.”

  He smiled down at her, then he kissed her sweetly. “I agree. We shall stay here. You can visit Surrey another time.”

  Another time? Perhaps he did want to continue this affair for a while longer, but she couldn’t afford the risk that someone might discover their relationship. Their time would end soon and then they would part. No matter how much her heart might want otherwise.

  Chapter Twelve

  Avis sat back against Banning’s hard, bare chest and relaxed. The last three days had been bliss. She had thought this would be a difficult fortnight, being alone with Banning. She couldn’t have been more wrong. She felt relaxed, comfortable around him even when they disagreed about things. Not once did he lose his temper with her or lash out.