by Maya Hughes
“Alex, I’m not mad. I’m not upset. I don’t care about that money at all and I’m glad that at least there was a little help for you when you needed it most and I couldn’t be there with you.”
“It wasn’t until her first birthday that I knew you really weren’t coming,” she said, almost zoned out as she continued. “That’s when the letters started becoming an annual thing. I thought that if I could just get you to see how beautiful she was,” her voice started to crack again, “how amazing she was, that you wouldn’t be able to resist and would finally come to meet her.”
“I did, I did as soon as I saw those letters, as soon as I saw her, I knew I had to find you both and be a part of your lives,” he said, pulling her face to his and looking deeply into her eyes.
“A part of her life. You need to be a part of Emma’s life,” she whispered, correcting him, while wiping the new tears from her eyes.
“Both of your lives,” he said, still holding her face in his hands.
“Gabe, that ship sailed when you cheated on me in LA. I thought I could deal with it and put it behind us, but I can’t. I was all for doing what we were doing while we were here in Scotland, but I can’t do this beyond our time here. I won’t stop you from being involved in Emma’s life because she needs her dad. And as long as you plan on being consistent with your time with her, I won’t keep you two apart. But there is no you and me beyond being parents. We—”
“Alex, I never cheated on you. You have to believe me,” he said, now that they were back to that again. “I admit that what I did about the studio contract about our relationship was wrong. It was completely wrong—it was probably the biggest mistake of my life—but I never cheated on you.”
“It was less than twenty-four hours after we had a fight and you were already sleeping with Lesley. Someone who was glamorous and fit in with your lifestyle. The lifestyle the studio wanted. I was nothing in comparison—”
“Don’t say that, your love was everything to me, I was blinded by the lifestyle at the time and didn’t know how to get out of that contract without owing a lot of money, but I shouldn’t have agreed. I know that. I was wrong, I was so wrong, but I never cheated on you. Ever!” he said, emphatically. She pulled her head from between his hands, walked across the room, and hugged her waist as she tried not to break down again.
“The day after our fight. When I came back to talk things out with you and I saw you were in your boxers on the bed and Lesley was in the shower,” she spat. “It had barely been twenty-four hours, Gabe, and you already took her to bed,” she accused. “Then I saw the paparazzi pictures of her leaving the hotel in your clothes. Walk of shame was all over the papers.”
He went to her grab both of her arms to get her to face him.
“Alex, I didn’t cheat on you,” he repeated. “I swear. I swear on Emma’s life. I didn’t cheat. I drank a lot that day you left. A lot, and when I woke up the next day I was in terrible shape. Lesley came over to talk about the press tour the next day and I puked all over her. It was a mess, it was everywhere.”
Alex looked up at him, trying to decide if she believed him.
“She asked if she could take a shower and I let her and lent her some clothes because hers were ruined.”
“I would never have cheated on you. No woman has ever been able to compare to you. I know we weren’t together for long. And I know that it’s crazy to say this after all this time,” he said, gazing into Alex’s eyes as she shook her head. He pushed on knowing he had to get this out.
“But I loved you Alex. Love you even more now after seeing how you’ve raised our daughter on your own. Emma alone would be enough to make me love you forever, but combine that with how you make me feel and the kind of man you make me want to be? Alex there is no one who can compare to you, please believe me.” He held her face in his hands and stared into her eyes, imploring her to believe him. He didn’t know what he would do if she didn’t. It seemed that everything had been going so well and now it was falling apart.
“You can talk to Lesley tomorrow. She’s happily married with a little boy of her own. She wouldn’t lie about this. I wouldn’t lie about this. I know there have been so many issues that we’ve had and I know that it’s been difficult for you to trust me and my feelings for you, but please believe me when I say this. I never, ever cheated on you.” He knew that if she didn’t believe him, they were over before they had even really started.
27
The bombshell that dropped yesterday about Gabe and Lesley was still replaying through her mind. She’d told him that she needed a little bit of time with all of this and had gone to bed. He’d slept in the other bedroom and Alex was grateful. It had taken her hours to finally fall into a fitful sleep.
He hadn’t cheated on her. All those roadblocks she’d been putting up were built on something that hadn’t happened. Why hadn’t she just confronted him in that hotel room when she thought he slept with Lesley?
Because she was a chicken, that was why. She’d been afraid that if she confronted him that he would have been able to woo her back. He would have woven his spell over here and she would have forgiven him and he would have done it again and again and again and she would have ended up like the one person in her life she vowed never to be like. The fear had made her heart race and her palms sweat as she envisioned herself sitting at home while he was out on the town sleeping his way through co-stars and fans alike and she would keep taking him back.
So, she’d run, run away from him and away from the horrifying vision of the future she’d painted for herself. And because of that and the mistakes he’d made, they had both robbed their daughter of a relationship with him. Aaron deserved a boatload of blame in all of this, but if they had been upfront with one another from the beginning and not so damn scared, he wouldn’t have even had the chance.
The front door opened downstairs and Alex sat up. She could hear Emma’s voice bouncing off the walls and his deep voice, but couldn’t make out what they were saying. They were talking to someone. She got up, walked to the dresser, and pulled out some clothes. The front door closed and Emma was running around outside.
Thinking that he was giving her some time to herself and taking Emma to the park, she wanted to hustle and get dressed and get some food in her before they returned. She was still feeling raw and ragged inside and needed some coffee or something else to perk her up. She wasn’t exactly looking forward to this day. Things had ended on a strange note last night. Not knowing where things stood with him made it even more difficult.
She got dressed and headed downstairs, and she caught the lit-up screen of a phone in her peripheral vision. Letting out a cross between a squeak and a scream, she gripped her hand to her chest, Lesley sitting in her living room. Lesley turned to her and put her arm along the back of the couch, looking as radiant as ever. She put her phone down on the table.
“Hey Alex! Gabe said you would be down soon. I hope you don’t mind that I’m waiting here on my own.”
“No, of course not. Not at all. Did you want something to drink? Some tea or juice or something?”
“Sure, some tea would be great, thanks.”
“Come on in the kitchen. I have a pretty good idea why you’re here.” Alex waved Lesley into the kitchen and grabbed a couple of mugs from the cabinet, filled the electric kettle and turned it on. Lesley slid into one of the stools across the counter. She put two teabags into the mugs and turned back to Lesley, resting her butt against the stove.
“So, I take it Gabe told you about what we talked about last night.”
“Yeah, Alex, I don’t even know where to start. I did not sleep with Gabe. We didn’t sleep together ever and other than kisses done in front of about a hundred crew members, we have never ever done anything intimate at all.”
“I know,” Alex said, and a stunned expression passed over Lesley’s face. She couldn’t hold back her laugh. “Wasn’t expecting that?”
“No, not at all. From the frantic w
ay Gabe called me last night, I fully expected to come here and see a pile of Gabe’s clothes burning on the front lawn.”
“I had a lot to think over last night and I think I freaked him out. It wasn’t just about the fact that I thought he cheated, but also what was going on with me that made me run away when I thought he had. Walking in on the scene I saw with the two of you was rough.”
“I’m sure, I can’t imagine,” Lesley said, reaching across the island, and giving her hand a squeeze.
“But I didn’t have to react that way. I was more worried about what I would do once I confronted him than I was about the actual cheating.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was worried that you would have come out of that shower and he would have seen me there and told me what happened, and I might have still taken him back. That I would have loved him so much and not wanted to be away from him that I would have settled for whatever scraps he wanted to give me until he was through with me and tossed me out.”
Lesley’s eyes got wide and her jaw dropped. “Alex, no way would Gabe have ever done that. Not just the cheating part, but any of that other stuff. He was ga-ga for you, still is from what I can see. If it weren’t for that contract and the lawsuit they could have filed against him there’s no way things would have gone down in LA like they did.”
“I know that now, but back then ….” The kettle went off, Alex fixed their tea and both women sat down at the kitchen table to continue their talk.
“I was so incredibly insecure back then, hell I’m still insecure now. But then, I was in a not great place when it came to guys. I had never even really had a boyfriend before Gabe. I’d dated a couple of guys, slept with one other guy just to see what it was all about, but he was the first guy I let into my heart and it scared the shit out of me. Still does.”
Alex went on recounting her relationship with her mom and how that had changed the way relationships in her mind. They were a major weakness and could lead you down an unhealthy path if you weren’t careful. Perhaps that had made her too careful and caused her to make mistakes on the other end. Instead of never wanting to be alone and always trying to find a guy to be with no matter how screwed up he was, she did her best to make sure she never got hurt by never letting anyone in.
That no longer seemed like a way to go about living.
Gabe cautiously entered the house, not knowing quite what to expect. The sound of laughter filtered in from the kitchen and he could finally release the breath he had been holding. Laughter was a good sign. Emma came bounding in behind him and ran into the kitchen. He turned the corner, Alex and Lesley were giggling over a couple of glasses of wine.
He’d made a whole day keeping Emma out of the house, so that Alex and Lesley could talk. Lesley said she would text him when it was safe to come back and the fact that she hadn’t sent him a message in over six hours since he’d left the house had sent his anxiety levels sky high. Turns out she hadn’t sent a text because she was having so much fun with Alex.
“Hey baby!” She gave Emma a big hug and a wet kiss on the cheek.
“Eww, Mommy, wet lips,” Emma giggled as she wiped the kiss off her face.
“You’re back,” she said with a smile. It was a good sign.
“Yes, I’m back. And see that you two are having some fun this afternoon.” He smiled picking up the nearly finished bottle.
“We were catching up and how better to catch up than over a glass of wine,” Lesley said, taking a sip.
“That’s always the best way, I say.” Alex chuckled, taking a sip from her glass.
“Well, I will leave you ladies to it. Emma, do you want to watch a movie with me in the living room?”
“Yes! Can we have popcorn?!”
“Sure,” he said, patting her on the head.
“I’ll make it, you two get settled.” She grabbed the popcorn from the cabinet and popped it into the microwave.
“I’d better get going.” Lesley stood up and drained the last of her glass. “It was really great seeing you again Alex and I hope to see much more of you.”
“Me too and please bring the little one next time,” she said, giving Lesley a hug.
“I will.”
Alex grabbed the popcorn from the microwave and poured it into a bowl. She walked Lesley out into the living room, where she gathered her things and headed out. She put the bowl down on the table and walked Lesley to the front door.
“See you later Gabe,” Lesley called out.
“You’re leaving already?” He picked up Emma off his lap, placed her on the couch and walked over to Alex and Lesley by the front door.
“I’ve got to get back before dinner, but don’t worry. I’ll see you next week and I’ll bring Olly with me.” Lesley gave him a hug and then Alex.
“Don’t be afraid of the possibility of letting yourself be loved, Alex,” Lesley whispered in her ear. Her throat tightened and she nodded as Lesley glided down the walkway and into her waiting car. Closing the door, Alex rested her head against it and glanced up to see him still standing there.
“How are you doing?”
“I’m doing great, Gabe, really,” she said, walking over to him, and planting a kiss on him. His eyes widened before he closed them and leaned into the kiss.
“Ewwww, Mommy, Daddy no kissing in front of little kids.”
She broke the kiss and rested her forehead on his, laughed and walked over to the couch.
“Get used to it kiddo,” she said, tapping Emma on the nose before she grabbed the bowl of popcorn and settled on the other side of Emma. He reached his hand out along the back of the couch and laced his fingers through hers as they sat and watched the movie together as a family.
28
Alex put Emma to sleep in her bedroom and turned off the lights. With all the excitement of the day, Emma hadn’t even asked for a story. Gabe had arranged for all her favorite books to be placed in the temporary bedroom, and it had made the time in Scotland that much easier. It seemed that the trick to a sleepy Emma was a trip to the zoo and Lego play time. She would have to file that away for later.
When she made her way downstairs, there were candles lit in the living room. Gabe was dressed up in a suit looking as delicious as ever. From behind his back, he produced a bouquet of flowers and presented them to her as she stood a couple of stairs up from the bottom of the staircase.
“What are these for?”
“I wanted to do something special for you. You’ve done something special for me by giving me Emma and agreeing to come to Scotland, and I wanted to do something for you.”
“Gabe, you know it’s not necessary. It was a good idea to have Emma come and see what it is that you do. She’s having a great time.”
“And you? What about you, Alex?” he said, walking to the bottom of the stairs. She walked down the last two and placed her arms around his neck.
“I’m having a great time too. I’m glad that you convinced me to have us come over,” she said, ducking her head. “And I’m glad to be able to spend time with you.”
“I’m glad, too. I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you all this time. I’m going to do everything in my power to make it up to you.”
She began shaking her head. “Gabe, we both made a lot of mistakes.” He attempted to interrupt, but she placed a finger over his lips. “We did, but we’re here now and we can choose to be happy now, so that’s what I would like to do.” She placed a tentative kiss on his lips.
“I would really like that, too,” he said, smiling from ear to ear.
“So why are you so dressed up?” Checking out his suit again.
“I thought we might have a nice dinner.”
“But we can’t go out, Emma’s upstairs.” She started.
“I know, so I thought that maybe we could bring the nice dinner to us,” he said, leading her to the backyard patio, which had been done up in twinkling lights. There was a white linen table cloth on a small round table that had a bottle of
wine chilling beside it in an ice bucket. She could hear pots and pans being moved around in the kitchen off the patio.
“You brought someone here to cook?”
“I thought that it would be easier than us going out, especially without a sitter for Emma,” he said, pulling a chair out for her. She glanced down at herself as she sat in the chair he pulled out for her.
“I’m feeling a little underdressed. My clothes still smell like a zoo and there’s paint all over me,” she said, attempting to peel some of the paint off her arms. He sat and took a hold of her hands from across the table.
“I think you look absolutely stunning,” he said, sincerity shining in his eyes. She gave him a dopey grin as a waiter appeared behind him from the kitchen. She placed a plate of appetizers in front of them and they looked stunning. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was until the aroma of the garlic and onion reached her nose and she dove in. Looking up, he was staring at her and she gave him a questioning look.
“I love how much you enjoy good food. It’s refreshing to know that we can enjoy it together,” he said, taking a bit of his own food.
“Of course, I love food. One of life’s great pleasures,” she said, moaning as she took another bite.
He picked up a small remote from the table and pressed play. Music started playing from hidden speakers all over the backyard and the pair enjoyed their meal, conversation, and music. After the main course, he stood and held out his hand. Alex stared at him warily.
“May I have this dance?” he asked. She grinned, placed her napkin on the table, and took his hand. He pulled her to him and they began a slow dance around the patio.
Listening to the sound of his heartbeat as she leaned against his chest, so at ease and at peace in that moment. All the terrible things that had happened were melted away in that moment as they stood there dancing. Their little girl was upstairs happy and healthy after a busy day, he’d arranged for a delicious meal, and she finally felt like she knew where she stood with him.
