Credo Quia Absurdum

by Sophie Martin

  “Yeah.” Tim sighed and turned on his swivelling chair to face his flustered brother. “I know you do, Cricket.”

  Jim deflated after that and crossed his arms over his chest.

  “Why don’t you tell me the truth, then? Is it serious between the two of you? You know you can’t mate him, Timmy. He’s human. He wouldn’t be able to keep you safe.”

  “Ah, Cricket.” Tim was at a loss. “It’s not about keeping me safe. It’s not about him being human. It could all be resolved one way or another.”

  “Well, what is it about then?” Jim scrunched his face, not understanding.

  Tim sighed. “It’s complicated, Cricket.”

  “Try me!” Yep, his twin could be like a dog with a bone.

  “He…we…ah, hell!” Tim groaned, tilted his head back, and rubbed the butt of his palms against his eyelids.

  “Come on, Timmy.” Jim’s voice was pleading. “You know you can tell me anything. I won’t judge.”

  “Shit!” Tim had to get this off of his chest. “Okay, it’s true. I am falling for him, okay? I’ve never felt anything like this for anyone ever before, but he doesn’t return my feelings. He…he’s only helping me. I have this problem, and he helps me out of the goodness of his heart. The rest is only…I don’t know…a by-product of it? Of him helping me?”

  “Helping?” Jim frowned and went to ask, “What do you mean…” Before Tim could dig himself an even bigger hole, telling his twin the truth, an unexpected voice broke into their conversation, making Tim feel like face-palming again.

  “Helping? Do you think that’s what this is all about? Me helping you because I feel sorry for you?” Joel came into the room looking stormy. “You’re wrong. I think we went past that point a long time ago. That might be how it started, but now it is so much more than that. Did you think I take people I feel sorry for on dates? That I introduce them to my friends as my boyfriend?”

  “Joel, I…” Tim didn’t know what to say.

  “No, I think we need to get this straight.” Joel’s voice was forceful. Out of the corner of his eye Tim saw his brother leaving the room. “I’ve thought about it a lot. You know, I’m not much of a feelings-oriented person. I prefer to push complicated things away, not dwell on them. That’s what I’ve been doing this entire time. I was pushing my feelings for you to the side, but I cannot do it anymore. I’m in love with you, Timiny Jones. I don’t know when, how, or why it happened, but it did. You’re a kind, generous, intelligent man, and I love you.

  “I think I’ve been in love with you for a while now. The only reason why I haven’t said anything is the whole ‘pixies don’t mate humans’ thing. I know I’m immune to being fey-struck, but I’m still only a human, and since you don’t have this True Pixie Self and the prophecy is as vague as could be, I’m not sure if it is right of me to ask you to be with me. Sure, there is a whole gang of powerful people ready to protect you, but I think your mate should be able to deal with it himself, right? I’m just a human. I cannot do any of the things paranormals do. Hell, I’m not even military, like my cousin. This is the one and only reason I haven’t pressed you for more than what we have!” Joel was panting by the time he finished his speech. Tim’s thoughts ran a million miles a minute. He finally settled on one thing.

  “You know, I haven’t been one-hundred-percent honest with you,” he blurted out. This was it, the cat was about to get out of the bag. Joel frowned and Tim hurried to explain. “There is a part of the prophecy that I haven’t revealed to you. There are a couple of reasons why. For one, I’m one of the only two people alive that knows about it. The second reason is because I did not want you to feel pressured in any way.”

  “What? What are you talking about?” Joel’s confusion was obvious on his face. Tim took a deep breath. He approached Joel and took the man’s hands in his.

  “There is a part of prophecy that only one person knew. I told you the pixie from whom the Prophecy comes died in the purge, right? Well, what I didn’t tell you was that there was a witness to his death. When the soldiers came and stabbed the prophet with a sword, he told them the prophecy. Fey aren’t stupid. They know when a prophet is speaking the truth. They got spooked and ran instead of finishing him off.

  “But there was a witness. A little boy hid in the closet and saw the whole thing. It was the prophet’s nephew. He came out when the soldiers left and he went to the prophet. The man was dying, but he had one more vision before he drew his last breath. The last of the prophecy said, ‘So, when the bearer walks among the beasts, monsters, and gods, as if they were his own, he finds his true mate in the worst of times. He will go through hell to find him, and once he mates him, a human impervious to fey’s charms, he’ll gain his Royal Form, come into his powers, and bring hope for the weakest of the weak.’”

  “What…” Joel swallowed loudly looking at Tim. “Is it true? Are you telling the truth?” The man was overwhelmed, and he sure should be. He’d just learned he starred in a millennium-old prophecy. Or did he? “Are you thinking what I think you’re thinking?”

  “You tell me.” Tim released Joel’s hands and turned away from him, going to stare out the window.

  “It sounds to me like the prophecy describes you. You are a part of the pack that has shifters, demons, and gods as its members, and there is a human impervious to fey’s charms, isn’t there?”

  “I don’t know, Joel, okay? I mean, it sounds so out there, you know? What are the chances that I am the one meant to bring hope to all pixies? The weakest of the weak? I’m nobody special, just a man with too much book knowledge and nothing else.”

  “No, you’re not, honey.” Joel came to Tim and hugged the pixie from behind. “You are a strong, incredible person who suffered through a horrific experience and did not let it break you. You are someone who cares for his friends, who wants to right the wrong, and bring justice to the abused. You’re a perfect person to be in this prophecy, and you know what?”

  “What?” Tim asked after turning in Joel’s arms.

  “I’m glad you’re in it.”

  “You are?” Tim’s eyes were suspiciously shiny when he tilted his head to look at the big human.

  “Yes, I am, because it means that we can be together. If mating with me gives you this kick-ass powers you told me about, then you don’t have to worry about me not being able to protect you, right?”

  “Yeah.” Tim gave him a watery smile. “I’ll be the one protecting you, then.”

  “Hey!” Joel pretended to be outraged. “I think you just killed my manly pride.”

  “Aww,” Tim teased, “does it hurt? Should I kiss it all better?”

  “Damn right you should!” Joel growled and suddenly threw Tim over his shoulder, carrying the squealing pixie to his bedroom. “Now, I’ll show you what a capable man I am!” he said, throwing the smaller man on the bed. Tim laughed, bouncing on the mattress a few times.

  “Well, what are you waiting for? Come here and show me!” He grinned and crooked his finger. “Come to me, big boy!” Joel gave another growl and jumped on his man, kissing the life out of him.

  “I love you, Timiny Jones,” he said when they came up for air after a kiss that seemed to last hours.

  “And I love you, Joel Simmonds, human or not.”

  * * * *

  “Okay, I’m getting really, really frustrated here, you know?” Joel threw himself on the sofa with a huff. Tim looked at him from above the book he was reading. He took in the human’s disgruntled expression and put the book away, turning to face Joel.

  “Okay, spill,” he said, settling himself in a better position, one leg on the sofa, the other one on the floor.

  “So, I’ve been driving that bastard everywhere for months now, and what have I got? A big, fat nothing!” Joel was huffing with frustration as he dragged his hand through his thick hair time and time again.

  “I mean, I spoke with everyone in the house, and in the firms he visits. Hell, I’ve even spoken to the man’s mist
ress when he sends me to pick her up from some godforsaken place on the outskirts of some forest! And I have no idea what she had been doing there. She was dressed like for a business meeting but was alone in some deserted barn—odd woman. I chatted with her on the way back to town. Still, I’ve got nothing! Nobody fits the profile of a leader of a criminal organization. The man’s sons are students. Sure, rather arrogant, but it comes with being rich kids, I suppose. They’re definitely not gang leaders, though. Bradshaw’s assistant is a frazzled man, trying to keep up with all of his boss’s appointments. He’s got no time to go out on a date, let alone lead such a huge operation. Then there are business partners. They’re mainly people who suck up to Bradshaw in order to get into his good graces, but they’re not criminals. There’s no one fitting the profile!” Joel almost shouted with frustration.

  “What about the mistress?” Tim asked.

  “What about her?” Joel answered distractedly with a question of his own.

  “What do you know about her?”

  Joel scrunched his eyebrows, catching up on what Tim was hinting at.

  “Well, she’s some sort of realtor or someone like that. I think she owns a real estate agency. The rumour mill says Bradshaw met her when he was looking for a place to situate his new office.”

  “Hmm, okay. Could she fit the profile?” Tim pressed. Joel tilted his head up and stared at the ceiling, seeming to really think on his answer. Finally, he huffed.

  “I seriously couldn’t tell. I didn’t have much contact with her. She gave me the impression of a cold, composed businesswoman. I wouldn’t have pegged her as a real estate agent. I thought they needed to be friendly and, you know…weaselly?” he added, raising his voice in a question.

  “Weaselly? Is that even a word?” Tim laughed.

  “Sure it is!” Joel grinned, and a spark of arousal entered his eyes. “Now, why don’t you help me relax after a stressful day of work, honey? Come, give me a kiss.” He made kissy noises, puckering his mouth and pretending to grab for Tim. The pixie laughed and avoided being caught.

  “What am I, your little housewife now?” Tim laughed, jumping up and out of reach. He put his hands on his hips and mock-scowled.

  “Oh, you can be my little woman anytime you want, babe.” Joel showed off his teeth in a huge grin. “Should I buy you some sexy lingerie?” he half joked. Tim was startled out of his pretending.

  “You’d like to see me wearing women’s underwear?” the pixie asked in surprise. Joel blushed.

  “Only if you wanted to. I mean, who decided it’s only for women, anyway?” Joel looked really uncomfortable, but Tim was anything but. A devilish grin curved the pixie’s mouth suddenly and it was easy to guess Joel was in trouble.

  “So you’ve imagined me in some flimsy, lacy thong, have you?” The smaller man came closer and saw the bulge that pushed against the front of Joel’s pants. “What colour was it, hmm? White?” He climbed on top of Joel’s lap and saw the man swallowing visibly. Joel shook his head, no.

  “Mmm, red?” the pixie pressed, leaning in closer to the man. Joel shook his head again. “Black?” Tim whispered against Joel’s lips and saw the answer in the human’s widened eyes. Joel’s pupils were dilated in arousal, and his stiff cock pressed against Tim’s own hardening one. “Oh, I see, so you dreamed about me wearing black, lacy panties, yes?” Instead of answering, Joel closed his eyes and moaned. Tim reached down and stroked the man’s dick through his pants. “Did you rip them off me? Tell me!” Joel swallowed and opened his heat-filled eyes. He licked his lips before answering.

  “N–no. I licked you through them.”

  “Oh, you did, did you? You licked my cock through the lace?” Tim asked, thrusting against his man gently.

  “Yeah…”

  “And then what?” Tim’s voice was throaty, and he could feel his wings flutter in anticipation. He was enjoying this game.

  “I used my teeth to pull them off you.”

  “Yeah?” The pixie kept up those tiny thrusts and could feel his dick dripping pre-cum.

  “Yeah, but I only freed your cock. The panties still covered your tiny hole.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah.” Joel’s hands found their way into the back of Tim’s pants and his finger slid down Tim’s crack. “I used the lace to tease your quivering opening.” The human breathed hot breath into Tim’s ear, licking and nibbling it before he continued talking, while his deft fingers found the pixie’s hole and started massaging gently.

  “And?” Tim asked, pushing his ass out, seeking those clever fingers. He wanted them inside.

  “And then I pushed you belly-first into the mattress, your dick trapped underneath, while you squirmed for friction, but I wouldn’t give it to you. You were mine to do with as I pleased,” Joel said, his fingers circling Tim’s hole over and over again, never pushing inside. Tim whimpered. Joel pushed his tongue in the man’s ear, eliciting another whimper, then blew gently on the wet spot. “Yeah, I pinned you down and used the lace of your panties to torture your hole until it was leaking, making the flimsy black fabric wet.”

  Tim gave another whimper, trying to push his ass further out.

  “You tried to bribe me, just like now.” Joel growled lowly. “Thrusting your ass at me like a bitch in heat, but I wouldn’t have it,” the human continued, his other hand reaching for the button of Tim’s trousers. He popped it open then urged the man kneeling above him to get rid of his clothes.

  Joel sat there, watching as his man removed first the offending trousers, then boxers, and finally his shirt. Tim’s wings flew open, sparkling with the dust begging to be released. As soon as the man was naked, he climbed back on top of Joel. The human grabbed him behind the neck and pulled him in for a violent, intense kiss.

  When he finally let go Tim’s lips were red and swollen from the intensity of it. The pixie’s pupils were dilated, and he panted, looking Joel straight in the eyes. Joel grinned. He looked down at Tim’s prick, which was hard and red, leaking pre-cum, the head glistening invitingly. Joel looked back at Tim, who bit his lip. Joel took a gentle hold of his lover’s prick and gave it a few slow strokes. Tim closed his eyes, breathing quickly, shallowly. Joel kept stroking as his other hand went back down Tim’s crack. He found the wet little hole that clenched and unclenched in anticipation.

  “Free my dick, babe,” Joel said quietly, “but do it through the zipper, don’t remove my pants.” Tim nodded and did as he was told. “Such a good boy, aren’t you?” Joel praised, rewarding Tim by pressing the tip of his finger inside his greedy opening. The pixie whimpered and tried to push back, chasing that finger. “Ah-ah. You need to be a good boy to get a reward.” Joel grinned evilly at the pleading look in the fey’s eyes. “Now… Do you want to know what happened next?”

  Tim nodded and then yelped when Joel grabbed him by the hips and flipped him to his stomach suddenly. Joel pulled Tim’s hands behind his back and held the pixie’s wrists in one of his hands on the small of the man’s back. He lowered himself over his captive to whisper in the pixie’s ear, “As I said, you were pressed into the mattress, just like this. I held your hands”—he punctuated the statement with a gentle squeeze of Tim’s wrists—”and I wouldn’t let you move.” He pressed a gentle kiss to Tim’s earlobe.

  Joel knew Tim had a problem with being restrained, after what happened to him in captivity, so he kept a careful watch for any signs of distress. There weren’t any. Tim’s breathing was fast, but from arousal, not fear. As he pushed his thumb between the man’s buttocks, he felt another squirt of the natural lube around Tim’s opening. He pushed his thumb in, just the tiniest bit, and was rewarded with a small thrust back. Yeah. Joel grinned. Tim was enjoying it, and he wanted more.

  “You want me to put my thumb in there, babe?” He punctuated the question with a slow fucking move. His thumb moved just millimetres. In and out. In and out. “You’re hot and wet for me, aren’t you, honey? You want me to put it in you?” He saw Tim’s neck musc
les clenching in determination. The pixie was trying to stop himself from begging. Joel could read his lover pretty well now. He chuckled devilishly.

  “Oh, so you don’t want it, huh?” He thrust his entire thumb in and fucked Tim with it a few times. He heard the pixie grunt then sigh in relief, but Joel wasn’t done with him, not in the least. “Well, I guess I need to take it away then, don’t I?” he asked, pulling his thumb away.

  Tim whimpered as the feeling of being filled was taken away from him. Joel took hold of his veiny dick and gave it a few good strokes. The thing was begging to be put in Timiny’s ass’s tight embrace. Joel wasn’t about to give in, though. He lowered his hips over Tim’s pretty, pale buttocks. His prick fit snugly in the man’s cleft.

  “Mmm.” Joel moaned right into Tim’s ear. “Then I guess you won’t want my dick in your hole, will you?” He thrust between the man’s butt cheeks, listening to the hitch in the pixie’s breathing.

  Joel looked around and noticed the ribbon Tim was using as a bookmark. He pulled it out of the book and used it to tie Timiny’s wrists. Joel made sure that Tim saw it when he was taking the ribbon from the book, which sat in front of the pixie’s face. Tim’s face rested on the sofa’s arm, while the book was on the side-table. The human wanted to make sure that Tim knew he had nothing to fear from Joel tying him, and that he could get free anytime he wanted. Still, he didn’t. Joel grinned again. He scooted backward and took each of Tim’s butt cheeks in one hand, spreading them.

  “Ahh,” he breathed, lowering his face between them. “What a lovely little hole.” He scratched his five-o-clock shadow on the delicate flesh just below the pixie’s hole. “Mmm, I wonder how it tastes.” He chuckled lowly as he noticed Tim hold his breath. “Should I try and taste it? What do you think, honey?”

  He reached lower and took Tim’s shapely balls in his hand. They fit perfectly, better than any boobs ever did. He rolled them in their sac delicately, making Tim’s breath catch again and the hole squirt another portion of that wonderful natural lube. Tim was still keeping quiet, though. Joel decided that it just wouldn’t do. He wanted a reaction from his future mate, and he was going to get it.