Credo Quia Absurdum

by Sophie Martin

  “Fine, just remember, no eating them.”

  “Yesss!” Tyler fist-pumped and ripped his shirt in the eagerness to get naked. In seconds, he was crouching next to Jason, completely naked, and the air shimmered, revealing a huge tiger in his place.

  “Shit, they’ve got shifters!” one of the approaching group shouted, and the leader snarled.

  “So what? Get him, idiots.” Just like that, the battle started.

  Tyler sprang at the upcoming men, and one of them swung a ball of shimmering air at him. Joel guessed it had to have been some kind of fey magic, as Prince Toren intercepted it with an even faster ball of his own. After that, all hell broke loose.

  Tyler reached the place where hyenas were already shifted, and engaged in a battle with the three of them. Doug jumped to the side when one of the vampires approached him at an unnatural speed. The demon roared and his body grew larger, more muscular, when he started fighting the vampire. Two more came from the other side, obviously trying to get to Jason from where they thought he was the least protected. Instead, they encountered two pissed-off pixies.

  Joel watched his mate in amazement. Tim was truly a vicious creature. He had to have summoned some blades when no one was watching, and now both he and Jim swung the daggers around, fighting off the vampires. Joel was torn. He knew he was human and could do nothing to help against a paranormal such as a vampire, yet his instincts called to him to protect his mate.

  He saw his dilemma mirrored in his cousin as Dominic balled his fists and growled low, evidently wanting to rip those who tried to hurt his mate to pieces. But Joel saw something else in his cousin, too. A sudden change came over him, his eyes changing colour and starting to glow eerily. A low growl rose in Dominic’s chest, and his head suddenly snapped to the side. Two wolves tried to crawl to Jim’s side and surprise the pixie while he was distracted with vampires. In a flash of movement, Dominic was before them, crouching in a protective stance before his mate. The two massive beasts bared their fangs at Dom, but he only growled louder.

  “Leave!” he spat at the wolves. “Mate! Mine!”

  The beasts faltered but did not lose their determination. Instead, they concentrated on Dominic, whom they decided was a bigger threat. Joel watched them circle his cousin and felt torn between watching his mate and his cousin. He shot a quick peek at Tim, who was sweaty but grinning as he danced, his wings opened widely, daggers gleaming in sunlight. Jim had a matching grin on his face as the duo evaded each of the vampire’s attempts at catching them. The two pixies seemed to almost dance as they inflicted small wounds on each of their opponents. Joel turned his attention back to Dominic just in time to see one of the wolves lunging at Dom.

  Dominic turned his body sideways and brought his fist down on the wolf’s head, stunning the animal. The wolf fell to the ground, shaking its head as if trying to dissolve the fog in its brain. Dominic growled and Joel had an instant glance at the man’s eyes. There was no humanity left in them, only wolf. “Mate, pack, protect!” the beast in Dominic snarled, and Joel’s cousin tilted his head back, releasing a godawful howl. Both wolves lowered to the ground and started crawling on their bellies, whining.

  “No!” Dominic snarled and went to them. He bared his teeth at the wolves and they whimpered even more pitifully. “Submit!” There was force in Dominic’s words. The wolves started squirming on the ground and finally went to lie on their backs, showing off their bellies. Dominic wasn’t satisfied. “Shift!” he ordered, and when nothing happened, he roared again, “Shift!”

  What happened next was nothing like when Tyler shifted. Quite the opposite. It looked like a scene straight from a Hollywood horror movie. The wolves’ bodies twisted and contorted, slowly, painfully turning from animal to human. Seeing that his cousin had the situation under control, Joel looked back to the twins. They had obviously dealt with their opponents. The vampires were bleeding from numerous wounds and curled on the floor, hands lifted in surrender. The two pixies stood over them, grinning, faces and upper bodies covered in splashes of blood. The brothers high-fived each other then turned to stand guard over their subdued enemies. Joel turned on his heel to take in the rest of the battle scene.

  Jason stood comfortably in the middle of what had become a battlefield, his arms folded over his chest as he watched Tyler toy with his prey. The hyenas were visibly defeated. They cowered in the fence-corner, curled into one another, while Tyler, still in tiger form, batted his huge paw at them. His tail flickered, and he looked like the cat that ate the canary. Or a tiger that was about to eat a hyena.

  Doug stood, back to his normal size, with one foot on the vampire he defeated. His gaze was trained on Morton, who traded magical blows with the other witch.

  The young student muttered under his breath as he squinted at the intruder. The leader of invaders sent wave after wave of what looked like a rotten, greenish-brown fog at Morton, who dissolved each one of them way before it reached him and sent clouds of his own against the witch.

  Joel saw Doug grin as he watched the two witches battle, and decided he didn’t need to worry about the nerdy witch. If Morton didn’t have it under control, then Doug was there to help. Jason turned, looking for Toren. The giant of a prince was just finishing off defeating his second enemy fey. The first one lay motionless at his feet. Joel had to admit the man looked like a warrior of old, a Viking, maybe.

  A though hit Joel suddenly when Toren sent a wave of magic and the second fey tumbled to the ground. That left…

  Joel spun on his heel just in time to see another fey in his true form, sending a ball of magic at Timiny’s back. Joel reacted without thought. He had to take just one step to the side, and the magic hit him, instead of Tim. He expected excruciating pain, maybe a horrible burning feeling. After all, he had no idea what being hit by a magical ball felt like. Instead, all he felt was something akin to a stream of water splashing over his belly. He looked down. He didn’t look hurt. He also didn’t feel hurt. What the hell?! He lifted his eyes to see the fey in question approaching him.

  The man slunk toward him, his inner light shining bright. The slime-ball dared to smile at him seductively.

  “Hello there, human,” he purred. Joel frowned. Was this guy for real? “Would you do me a favour, human?” The fey spoke in a throaty voice he must have thought was seductive but which grated on Joel’s nerves. “Would you help me get away from here? I seem to have gotten lost.” The fey took another step forward until he stood directly before Joel, within easy reach.

  “Sure you have,” Joel said and planted a well-placed kick to the man’s balls. The fey went to his knees, holding his family jewels, his true form flickering from pain.

  “Mmm, honey, you’re sexy like hell when you protect me like this,” Tim spoke from behind him, and Joel’s face cleared. He abandoned the fey, who seemed immobilised for the moment, and went to kiss his mate passionately. When they came up for breath, Joel took a quick look around.

  Jim and Dominic were deep in a similarly heated kiss. Tyler, still in tiger form, rubbed against Jason’s knees, nearly knocking the demigod over. Toren was walking around, magically tying up their captives. Morton walked toward Jason, looking stiff. The reason might have been Doug trailing after him like a lost puppy and chatting him up happily. All in all, it looked like the battle had finished without anyone on their side getting seriously injured. A few scrapes and scratches, but that was all.

  Jason, along with Toren and tiger-Ty trailing behind them, came closer to the twins and their mates. Morton and Doug joined them.

  “Well, it looks like we’re done for now,” Jason said. “Let’s get these people inside so that Morton can lift the protection spell from around us.”

  “A protection spell?” Joel couldn’t help but ask.

  “Yes.” Jason didn’t look bothered by the question. “As soon as we left the house, I asked Morton to put a protective spell around us so that nobody in the neighbourhood realised what was happening here. The last thing we
needed was human police showing up in the middle of a magical battle.”

  That made sense. Joel nodded, and they all followed Jason inside. Doug and Toren stayed behind to grab the attackers and drag them inside. They filed into the kitchen one by one. Joel looked around at the cramped space and scrunched his face.

  “Are we going to bring them all here? It’s gonna be a tight fit.”

  “Mmm, I see what you mean,” Jason said thoughtfully, nodding. “I’ve got an idea,” he finally said. “Let’s take them to the basement.” Tyler chuffed, looking at his mate questioningly. “Yeah, I know, it’s small, too, but not for long,” Jason answered the unasked question.

  Jay didn’t move, but the mind-speaking thing had to be still in the works, as neither Toren nor Doug came to them with any questions. Instead, they opened a small door for the under-stairs space and dragged their captives in there.

  The latch to the basement had to be hidden under the stairs, Joel concluded.

  While the two big men busied themselves with storing the intruders in the basement, everyone else sat around the kitchen table. It was a tight fit, but it worked for them. Tim went to check up on Leanar and came back to report that the fey was still out. As soon as Toren and Doug returned, the meeting could start.

  “So…” Jason started, pushing his chair away from the table and burying his hand in Tyler’s fur. The tiger preened like a housecat, closing his eyes in pleasure. “We did well today, people. Thank you all for your efforts.”

  “We’re pack, Alpha. It’s what a proper pack does.” Surprisingly, it was Morton speaking up.

  “Well put, little witch.” Doug smiled. Morton didn’t even look at him, but it didn’t seem to faze the big demon.

  “Even so, I am still grateful to all of you,” Jason stated. His serial-killer look was long gone, and he seemed like a normal young man. “We showed a united front today, the pack members as well as Joel, who is the human friend of our pack, and Prince Toren, who is associated with us through his brothers.” Jason nodded to each of them.

  “It was my pleasure and honour to stand with you in a battle,” Toren spoke formally, and Jason nodded again in acknowledgment of the praise.

  “Anyway, I think it’s time to discuss today’s happenings. Let’s start with what brought Jim, Tim, and their mates here. My official congratulations on your mating, by the way, Timiny, Joel.”

  “Thank you, Alpha,” Tim said and looked at Joel with a loving smile. “Now, let me explain the situation to you.” The pixie sighed and turned his eyes upward, trying to gather his thoughts. “As you know, a while ago we started suspecting that the kidnapping and trafficking ring had connections to the fey world. Today, we had it confirmed. However, there was a part of the story I personally kept to myself. It was a secret not many knew, and I thought it dangerous to ever let it out. My mate helped me understand that I wasn’t entirely right…” He paused and took a deep breath then proceeded to explain all about pixie history, the purge, and the prophecy. “Yeah, so the most important part of the prophecy is about a pixie mating a human impervious to fey charms.” Tim sighed and paused.

  “I think we all know where this is going,” Doug spoke. “You mated Joel, and he is immune to fey inner light. Have you gained the Royal Form?”

  “I’m not sure. I haven’t tried accessing it yet. I surely gained more power, though. That’s how I could summon Toren and bring mine and Jim’s favourite sets of fighting daggers.” Tim tilted his head to where Jim was cleaning his fingernails with said dagger.

  “Cool,” Doug admitted.

  “Yeah.” Tim smiled in answer.

  “Will I have Royal Form, too, now that the prophecy is fulfilled?” Jim inquired, lifting his eyes from his knives.

  “I’m not sure, Cricket. The prophecy didn’t say anything beyond what already happened.”

  “Well, that sucks! I want to be able to summon things without using spells, too. Spells are boooring.” Jim pouted.

  “Okay,” Jason interrupted, “what about this guy who warned us, Leanar?”

  “Leanar is here?” Toren’s voice was dangerously calm. Tim sighed.

  “Don’t. He came here to warn us, and he was apparently under his family’s thumb all this time. He says they threatened to hurt me if he didn’t break up with me. They’ve got people in the palace, even in Royal guard.”

  “What?!” Toren jumped to his feet.

  “I’m sure you can deal with it when you get home, Prince Toren. Now, we should decide what to do with the fey.” Jason was calm when he said so. “He did come here to warn us, and risked imminent death.”

  “Yeah,” Dominic, who was quiet up till this point, interjected, “and he knows a good deal about the trafficking operation, and could lead us to the leaders.”

  “That’s true. Thank you for your input, Dominic.”

  “Alpha.” Dom nodded.

  “Okay, so what should we do with him? We can’t let him go, not until we can get all the information from him. Also, if we did let him go, it is possible his family could hurt him.”

  “If I may?” Tim spoke up. After Jason’s acquiescent nod, he continued. “He said his family sent him to the human world to conduct business, so they won’t know he’s missing for a while. We can keep him here and interrogate him while Toren deals with things on the fey end. I bet Leanar knows about those in the palace who are under his family’s orders.”

  Jason thought for a moment then agreed. “Very well, we’ll keep the fey here. I will need some spells put on him, however, so that he doesn’t turn against us or try to run.” He paused and seemed to think about something. “Okay, now, what about these guys in the basement?” Tyler gave a low rumble and flexed his claws, stretching next to Jason’s chair. Jay rolled his eyes.

  “No, you cannot eat them, we already talked about it.” The tiger gave another low rumble but settled and started licking his claws. “Okay.” Jason cleared his throat, trying to hide his smirk at Ty’s shenanigans. “Any ideas anyone?”

  “We need to interrogate them, discover who the ‘bosses’ boss’ is,” Dominic stated confidently.

  “I agree, but how do we do this? Should we interrogate each and every one of them? I’m new to the whole cloak-and-dagger thing, you know?” Jason smiled sarcastically.

  “While that would be prudent, I think we should question the witch,” Morton said softly.

  “Why would you say that, Morton?” Jason’s voice was full of curiosity.

  “He was the leader. He knows more than you’d think.”

  “Very well,” Jason agreed. “How do we do this?”

  “I can get the truth out of him,” Doug stated simply, and Joel noticed Morton swallowing loudly at the statement.

  “Hmm, do you want to do it in the basement?” Jason asked.

  “No, I think we should bring him here, separate him from his friends, and try intimidating him with all of our presence. If it doesn’t work, I’ll use my special skills,” Doug said, and this time Joel saw Morton shudder visibly at the last statement.

  “Go and get him,” Jason said, and Doug went to do just that.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Doug dragged the witch from the basement and into the kitchen. They all stood in a semicircle around a chair with its back against the table. Doug pushed the man on the chair and took a step to the side, crossing his arms over his chest and assuming a bodyguard pose.

  “Won’t he try spelling us?” Jimmy asked curiously, not really worried about the witch trying anything.

  “No,” Toren answered, “I bound them all with magic binding ropes. They won’t be able to access their magic.”

  “But don’t witches weave spells with words? They don’t need to use their inner magic. They can use magic from their surroundings, too,” Tim decided to clarify. It was Morton who answered him.

  “While that’s true,” the young man said, straightening his glasses, “it only applies to the strongest and most skilled witches. This guy is way below
that level. He couldn’t weave a cleaning spell if he had to.”

  “Yeah, I can see that.” Jim wrinkled his nose at all the old stains on the witch’s clothes.

  “Thank you for explaining, Morton.” Tim smiled at the young witch and Morton returned the expression. The bound man chose that moment to speak. He turned to Morton and smirked.

  “Hey, I know you! You’re that Foster’s kid, right? I thought the old man fed you all to the demons. Wasn’t he, like, breeding with different women to get their kids, and then sacrificing them to demons? I didn’t know any of his spawn survived.” The man grinned at Morton, who was grim and clenching his jaw. Surprisingly enough, it was Douglass who interrupted the guy.

  “Oi! You concentrate on me, mister!” Douglass’s expression turned positively evil as he grinned at the witch. “You’re so afraid of demons, boy? How about I show you some demon love, eh?” As they all watched, Doug’s face stared to change. His features sharpened and lengthened. His cheekbones and browridges grew more pronounced, and from the top of his head grew two cattle-like horns. The witch watching this looked terrified.

  “You people let a demon among you. You’re insane! Completely out of your minds!” His voice’s pitch rose until it reached a panicked level.

  “Yeah,” stated Jason, his killer face firmly on, “we get it. You had no idea who you were going against. The thing is…” He trailed off and buried his fingers in the soft fur on the tiger’s head. The witch’s gaze wandered to where the huge animal was licking his bloody claws clean, and he swallowed nervously.

  “…we don’t really care,” Jason finished. “Now, you’re going to tell us about the bosses’ boss, or I’ll sic my tiger on you, and only after he finishes with you will I let the demon do his thing, got it?” The witch swallowed again and nodded his head rapidly. The fear was clearly visible on his face. “Right, now, how about you tell us who your boss is? Who ordered you to attack this house, hmm?”