Alluring Passion: A MM Contemporary Bundle

by Peter Styles

  I smirked. “It was,” I confirmed. “Yeah, that sounds cool.” I was a little surprised he was considering staying over—he’d never slept at my place after we had sex, only when we were hanging out in a strictly platonic sense—but at least he’d offered to sleep on the couch instead of in my bed. It helped make things a little less worrying and confusing.

  “Why do you guys have to do this when I’m here?!” Leonard whined loudly. “You know it freaks me out!”

  “I think you just explained exactly why we have to do this when you’re here,” I said.

  “Exactly,” Gary agreed. “Besides,” he added, shooting me a particularly sly smile, “I’ve been incredibly horny lately. I need to get laid.”

  “Same,” I agreed, and I had to fight back the urge to laugh when Leonard slipped out of his chair in horror.

  Even though I was partially saying it to annoy Leonard, which happened to be an excellent bonus to just about everything I said in his presence, I’d also sincerely meant it. It had been a few weeks since the break in and we hadn’t slept together since then. I was still finding my equilibrium and Gary seemed to understand that. I hadn’t told him what had happened that night, but I figured, from the way that he was acting, that he’d either figured it out himself or Christy had told him. Although I didn’t love the fact that he knew, it was something I could appreciate and was happy about overall. It was nice that I didn’t have to say anything to him about it and he still knew exactly where every boundary and every line was for me. He knew me well enough to understand that I needed time and space to myself without me having to say anything.

  This was why I’d never needed or really wanted a boyfriend before. I already had a great friend who fulfilled all of my sexual needs while just intrinsically understanding me. That was a hell of a lot easier than starting over with someone from scratch.

  I thought about Jonah and my stomach squirmed. There were a few butterflies in there, but there was also a healthy helping of anxiety mixed in too. Was it wrong for me to sleep with someone after I’d made a date with him? I mean, it wasn’t like we were exclusive. We hadn’t even gone out yet. But would something like this make him angry?

  And what about Gary? Was he going to freak out when he found out I was planning on going on a date with someone else? I didn’t think so—we’d both made it pretty clear that our interest in each other was never going to be romantic—but it was hard to say for sure.

  A few seconds later, the door slammed open and I jumped, coming out of my reverie. A massive, dark figure stood in the doorway, barely able to be seen in the blackness of the night. Gary and Leonard both let out surprised yelps and my hand darted under the counter to grab the pepper spray.

  Then, a flash of lightning illuminated a black mask and shining goggles.

  I dropped the mace with a sigh of relief. “Jesus, man,” I said, putting a hand over my chest, “you can’t just barge into a place like that. You scared the hell out of me.”

  “Sorry.” The Shadow Hunter looked down at the carpet beneath his feet, where a small pool built up from the rain still rolling off of him. “And sorry about all the water.”

  “No need to worry. This carpet has seen way worse,” I told him. “I’m surprised you came in here at all though.”

  “It was getting kind of cold out there,” the Shadow Hunter said, shifting sheepishly. “I hope you don’t mind?”

  “Of course not, man. Feel free to hang out for a little bit.”

  Gary and Leonard stared in awe back and forth between the Shadow Hunter and me.

  I had spent so much time with the Shadow Hunter that he had become somehow normal to me. I was used to him and, other than the crazy getup, he had just become a regular guy. He was kind, gentle and stoic, and I really appreciated having him around. He didn’t say much but, when he did, it was always something worth hearing. I liked him; if he hadn’t been a superhero, and therefore apparently a lone wolf too preoccupied with saving lives to bother with something as trivial as relationships, I would have done my best to snatch him up and try to convince him to go on a date with me. But, as any comic book fan knows, superheroes don’t make for good boyfriends.

  Besides, I was already having enough trouble figuring out how to start things off with Jonah. The last thing I needed was somebody else to come in and screw things up even worse.

  The Shadow Hunter stalked into the shop, closing the door against the raging storm. He went over to one of the shelves and started looking through trades and hardcovers, finally picking up a copy of The Man Who Laughed and flipping through it.

  Gary stared at me in shock. “That’s him!” he mouthed at me, pointing at the Shadow Hunter’s back.

  I nodded, trying to suppress a laugh.

  Leonard stood suddenly, a look of determination on his face. I raised my eyebrows at him and Gary shot out a hand and grabbed his sleeve, trying to tug him back into his chair, but Leonard shrugged him off and approached the Shadow Hunter. He stopped just behind him, took a deep breath and tapped him on the shoulder.

  The Shadow Hunter turned to look over his shoulder at him. “Yes?” he asked, sounding annoyed.

  Leonard, as usual, seemed to be incapable of reading the room and stuck out his hand so aggressively that he looked like he was going in for a karate chop. “I’m Leonard Hassleton and I’m a big fan of your work.”

  “Oh my God,” Gary groaned, “you didn’t even know who he was until we told you!”

  Leonard turned to him, embarrassed and hissed, “I don’t see how that’s relevant right now!”

  “It’s relevant because you’re haranguing the guy and you don’t even have a good reason to do it! You don’t see me making an ass of myself, do you?”

  “I see you do that every day,” Leonard growled.

  “Oh, nice. Real mature, Len.”

  “Would you shut up? You’re embarrassing me!” Leonard said, in the sort of voice that usually accompanied stamping feet and a firm timeout.

  “How is he your hero if you don’t even know anything about him?”

  “I know plenty about him!”

  “Really? Tell me one thing you know.”

  Leonard waved vaguely in my direction. “I mean, he saved our friend’s life and the store! I think that’s a good enough reason to call him my hero.”

  Gary rolled his eyes. “Whatever, man. You’re acting like a total star fucker right now. You only think he’s cool because we told you he’s cool. You’re just jumping the bandwagon.”

  The Shadow Hunter turned to me. “Are they always like this?” he asked.

  “Yeah, pretty much,” I admitted.

  He looked back at Leonard and grunted, “Hm.”

  Neither Gary nor Leonard took notice of this. “Seriously, dude, leave the guy alone,” Gary said. “You’re being weird.”

  “I’m not being weird!” Leonard snapped, offended. “I’m just talking to him! How is that weird?”

  “It’s weird because you’re the one doing it.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I told the Shadow Hunter.

  In the next few minutes, Leonard started inundating the Shadow Hunter with questions and it wasn’t long until Gary joined in. “Did you train with someone?” Leonard asked. “Did you have a mentor, or some kind of sensei?”

  “Why does it always have to be a sensei?” I interrupted. “That’s racist.”

  Leonard shot me a glare so harsh that I dropped my gaze.

  “No,” the Shadow Hunter said, shortly. I could tell he wasn’t thrilled to be giving an impromptu Q&A session to a couple of nerds, but he was being a lot more patient than most people would have been; he was definitely more patient than I was, and I was just sitting behind the counter and listening.

  “So you just learned all this stuff yourself?” Gary asked. “I mean, you just came out of the womb kicking ass and taking names?”

  “Obviously not,” the Shadow Hunter said, and made the strange sighing noise again. “I taught myself a lot of wha
t I know. Everything else I learned through various, more casual channels.”

  “You guys,” I pointed out, “he’s still just a human being. He wasn’t taught to fight by the monks of K’un-Lun.”

  “No harm in asking,” Leonard said, defensively.

  “The harm is that you’re both being annoying,” I sighed.

  “Excuse us for wanting to know more about your superhero buddy,” Gary said, with a frown. “Unlike you, we’ve never had the pleasure of meeting a real-life Batman.”

  “I’m not Batman,” the Shadow Hunter said quickly, seemingly embarrassed.

  “You kind of are though,” Leonard lectured him. “I mean, you’re dressed in all black, and you must have some sort of protective panels under your clothes, from what I can tell. You’ve even got the voice changer that makes your voice all deep and Christian Bale-like.”

  “You’re one weird car and a butler away from Batman,” Gary agreed.

  “Speaking of which,” Leonard continued, “can I ask about the cape?”

  Even though I couldn’t see his face, I could tell the Shadow Hunter was frowning. He crossed his massive, strong arms. “What do you mean?”

  “Your tiny cape,” Leonard clarified. “Why do you have it? Capes are notorious for adding very little advantage for heroes. In fact, they’re usually a bad idea. A few heroes can use them to great effect, but that’s pretty rare.”

  “It was a whole plot line in The Incredibles,” Gary agreed.

  The Shadow Hunter turned to me as if desperate, but I just said, “They don’t have a bad point, actually. Why do you always wear a little cape?”

  “Please stop referring to it as little,” the Shadow Hunter said, a note of a plea in his voice.

  “But why not? It is. It’s like a mini cape,” Leonard said.

  “It’s called a capelet,” the Shadow Hunter snapped, “and I wear it because it makes me look larger and adds to visual confusion during fights because it blends with the rest of my clothing, okay? And, honestly, I’m not sure I appreciate being grilled about my clothes by two strangers.”

  I knew his voice held no threat simply because I’d spent most of the past few weeks around him, but Gary and Leonard didn’t know that. They both fell silent, apparently too terrified to continue badgering him.

  I shut down the laptop, turned off the lights and all four of us left together. It was strange to be walking to my car with Gary, Leonard and the Shadow Hunter in tow; it felt like two entirely separate halves of my life were overlapping. I wasn’t sure that I liked it; up until then, being with the Shadow Hunter was like living in a bubble. I could ignore the unfortunate reason we knew each other and allow myself to enjoy being friends with a real hero. It was like the ultimate form of escapism. Why read comics when I could hang out with Batman in real time?

  But Gary and Leonard broke the illusion. He suddenly became a part of my real life; the one I enjoyed way less than the fantasy I’d constructed for myself in my head. And I was worried that the Shadow Hunter would realize that my life wasn’t one that needed to be protected quite so much.

  I hated thinking it, but the thought hung around me nonetheless.

  I tried not to let onto this thought as the Shadow Hunter followed me and curled up into my car. I started driving and shot him a look before asking, “So, the whole cape thing. What’s the real story there?”

  He slumped down in his seat just a little, his normally perfect posture changing ever so slightly. “Honestly? I just thought it looked cool.”

  I just laughed.

  When we got to the boardinghouse, the Shadow Hunter looked out the window and through the rain, peering at Gary’s beaten down old Saturn. “What is he doing here?” he asked. “Do I need to be concerned?”

  “No,” I said, quickly. “No, he’s just here to hang out.”

  “But you two already hung out for the entire day, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah, but that’s different.”

  “How?”

  I grimaced. I hadn’t told him about my pseudo relationship with Gary. I felt it would ruin the perfect little bubble I’d managed to wrap us in to do that. And, truth be told, I’d been a little worried that it would ruin my chances with him.

  But, I realized, that didn’t matter now. Not only because of Gary, but because of Jonah. I was surprised at how much it hurt to think that I was closing the door on the Shadow Hunter; there was a deep ache within my chest just at the very thought that I might never truly know him and be able to be close to him.

  I wondered, briefly, if that’s what love feels like.

  I cleared my throat. “I’m, uh, actually in kind of a… thing with him,” I explained. “Like a friends with benefits situation.”

  The Shadow Hunter’s whole body tensed. “So, you’re in a relationship with him?”

  I shrugged. “Not really, no. It’s not romantic. And it’s going to end soon, I’m pretty sure.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  I wanted to ask him why he cared and why he thought it was his business, but I didn’t. I didn’t love the interrogation, but I also realized that lying to him was neither mature nor helpful. “Because there’s this other guy,” I said. “He asked me out yesterday. He’s cute and funny and really interesting, and I like him a lot.”

  The Shadow Hunter sat in silence for a second before murmuring, “You don’t seem too happy about your new prospects.”

  “No, no, that’s not it,” I sighed. I ran a hand through my curls, damp from the rain. “I really do like this guy. He’s great.”

  “But?”

  “But nothing,” I said, irritably. “Full stop.”

  “If that was the case, you wouldn’t be frowning,” he said. “And you would know what was going to happen with Gary. What is it that’s wrong with the new guy?”

  I thought for a second, about the nerves that overcame me about Jonah whenever I wasn’t with him. I thought about the doubt and the anxiety that was always hovering on the periphery when I was with him or answering his texts or even just thinking about him. And that’s when I realized what the truth was, and I said it before even thinking.

  “I don’t think I’m good enough for him.”

  “And why is that?” the Shadow Hunter asked, voice gentle but demanding.

  “Because my life is so screwed up.” I rubbed at my forehead. I could feel a headache starting to form right between my eyes. “There’s stuff from my past that I haven’t really gotten over, and I don’t know if I’ll ever totally get over it. I’m… damaged. And I figure that once he actually sees that, he’ll lose interest. Gary won’t, because he knows my life and because we’re not all that involved. He’s one of my best friends and we hook up sometimes, but he doesn’t have to constantly deal with my shit. I’m not asking him to care about my problems. And in a relationship, that’s really what you’re doing: you’re telling someone, ‘Here, here are all of my problems,’ and you’re expecting them to help. You’re expecting them to be there and to support you.”

  “And you think this guy won’t?”

  “I think that he can’t. But, more importantly, I think it’s unfair of me to ask him to try. I mean, how do I ask that of somebody? How do I tell someone that my mountain of bullshit suddenly has to become their problem just to have a relationship with me? It’s not fair.”

  “Life isn’t fair,” the Shadow Hunter said, his voice hard.

  I snorted. “Okay, thanks. I guess I wasn’t aware.”

  “I don’t mean it that way. I mean that everyone has stuff they have to deal with, and everyone has to help others with said stuff.” He put a hand on my shoulder, and I winced away from the contact. “You don’t have to be alone like this, Harris. You don’t have to carry this burden by yourself.”

  “You say that like you know.”

  “And you say it like I couldn’t possibly understand.” His voice was bitter. “I saw my father stabbed to death. I saw my mother slip into a devastating drug addiction. I liv
ed through pain and poverty and used it to build who I am today. I am a man, and an imperfect one with an imperfect life.” His voice was rough and strangled with emotion. “You can build something better. You can have someone to help you. When I helped you the night of the robbery, it wasn’t just because it was the right thing to do and it wasn’t just to help you simply survive a little longer. It was so you might go on to have a real life. You’re allowed to be happy, Harris.”

  My eyes burned, but they stayed dry. I sighed softly and considered reaching out to take his hand, but thought better of it. He was practically telling me that he was alone and that he needed to stay that way; I knew that touching him would only make me want him more. “I’m sorry all that happened to you.”

  “I didn’t say it for pity.”

  “I didn’t think you did.”

  We fell silent for a minute. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard a horn blaring and realized that Gary was beeping at me. “Shit. He can’t go in without me. I have to go.”

  “Alright.” He opened his door, but he looked back at me. “Please trust in what you want. This new guy wants to take a chance on you. You should let him.”

  “I hope you’re right,” I said.

  “I know I am,” he replied. His voice was full of confidence.

  There was a snap as the door closed and a flash of lightning, then the Shadow Hunter was gone.

  I was shivering before I stepped out of the car, but the sleeting rain gave me a nice excuse. Gary followed after me and the two of us sprinted to the front door. When we made it in, we both stood, clutching our wet clothes and shaking, while Ronaldo stood there, playing on his phone without bothering to look up. “Hey, Ronaldo, he’s with me,” I said. My teeth were chattering and all I could do to indicate who I was talking about was to jerk my head in Gary’s general direction.

  “Mm hm,” he grunted, and he stepped out of our way.

  I murmured my thanks to him. Gary said, “Yeah, Ronny, thanks.”

  Ronaldo’s eyes flickered up to glare at him. “Don’t fucking call me that.”

  “Right. Of course. Sorry.” Gary gave him an almost maniacally wide smile of apology, then gave Ronaldo a few shots from his finger guns. Ronaldo glared at him and he blanched, following me into the kitchen and up the stairs in silence. Ever since their one unfortunate run-in, Gary had no idea how to act around the bouncer. He was usually too afraid to say anything to him, which was actually a plus most of the time but, every once in a while, he decided to get brave and try to talk to the guy.