Miss Glamora Tudor!: The New Chronicles of Barset: Book One

by ILIL ARBEL

  Therefore, we must stop for a moment and move backwards in time. Our readers may remember the two guardian angels who represented Mrs. Brandon and Canon Joram so successfully in another book in these chronicles. Any sensible person would agree that if these two delightful people had their guardian angels, why shouldn’t Miss Merriman and Mr. Choyce, who were equally pleasant people, possess such a useful connection with their own guardian angels? Of course they would! What the readers may not know, however, is that cats have direct communication with guardian angels, a fact that has been proven aeons ago. We have all seen cats, who at a certain moment sit peacefully in front of the fire, or are giving themselves a nice bath, or are engaged in having a refreshing nap, suddenly jump to attention, stare at something completely invisible to mere humans, and possibly even run to another room as if summoned to a conference. Well, generally they are indeed summoned, though of course quite politely, by the presence of a guardian angel. They also have a channel of communication with the angels, and can request an audience, using something much like a telephone exchange, only different, if we are making ourselves clear.

  The reader will surely also recall that Charlemagne, Mr. Choyce’s cat, decided something had to be done about his owner’s situation. So he invited Miss Merriman’s and Mr. Choyce’s guardian angels to discuss it, and of course they came promptly, since angels are generally extremely obliging beings, and they respect cats.

  “It just can’t go on for long,” said Charlemagne after the usual greetings.

  “Certainly you realize, Mr. Charlemagne,” said Miss Merriman’s guardian angel, “that there is a new development in this case. To me it seems that Mr. Goldwasser admires her a great deal.”

  “But I don’t know Mr. Goldwasser personally,” said Charlemagne. “He is from a distant country, with different tastes and habits. Mr. Choyce would be a much better prospect for Miss Merriman – they have everything in common. If she chooses Mr. Goldwasser, it would be as if I decided to marry a wild cat from the jungle. It just won’t do, you know. When I marry, it will be a lady cat from the County, well brought up and intelligent, slightly adventurous, like me, but not undomesticated!”

  “I agree,” said Mr. Choyce’s guardian angel. “Miss Merriman and Mr. Choyce are perfectly suited to each other. Mr. Goldwasser has many good points, but he is a foreigner.”

  “So do you have a clue as to what happens in the future?” asked Charlemagne. “I understand angels often do.”

  “We are not allowed to peek into the future,” said Miss Merriman’s angel.

  “It is strictly forbidden to angels of our rank,” added Mr. Choyce’s angel. “However, I have an idea. Let’s communicate with Mr. Goldwasser’s angel. He is of a higher rank now, I believe, but a very nice fellow, and I have known him for many years. He went to school with us, Samuel, remember him? A chap named Daniel? Always getting in trouble with the authorities? Maybe he has some additional insights into the matter, and perhaps he could peek into the future for us, too.”

  They placed a trunk call to Mr. Goldwasser’s angel, or whatever angels do when they wish to communicate with someone far away, and after a very short wait the angel appeared.

  “Well, well, well,” he said. “It’s been a while since we were all together in Cloud Nine University, what? Well, introduce me to this distinguished cat, please, fellows. You must remember to mind your manners, you know.” He affected a slight American accent which amused the other two a great deal. Proper introductions were made to Charlemagne, and the conference began, the angels occupying a corner of the ceiling, Charlemagne sitting on a high armoire. The entire issue was placed before Mr. Goldwasser’s angel. He thought for a long time, hovering quietly over the ceiling.

  “We hear you have been promoted,” said Mr. Choyce’s angel.

  “Yes indeed, old boy,” said Mr. Goldwasser’s angel, and showed them, with justifiable pride, the new insignia attached to his left wing.

  “So would you please peek into the future, and let us know how things stand?”

  “I am not allowed to divulge such information,” said Mr. Goldwasser’s angel.

  “Don’t be such a prig, Daniel,” said Miss Merriman’s angel. “I would not expect it from you…”

  “I am far from being a prig, Samuel. Don’t you remember all the trouble I used to get into in Cloud Nine University? But this is serious business. Archangel Michael, who is really a helpful chap, told us when we were promoted that such offences would have us risk demotion,” said Daniel. “However, we are allowed to interpret and help out. So I will check and then give you a hint.” Daniel moved away a little, and seemed to concentrate, looking at the distance. After a few minutes of intense study, he said, “Don’t worry, let things develop in their own way, and I promise that soon you will hear some very good news, such news that will please both of you equally. Let’s see. This is 1954, by our humans’ count, right? Hard to keep track sometimes, what with their strange way of relating to Time, so different from ours. I so much prefer counting from The Beginning… Still, expect the good news around their 1956, or at worst, 1957.”

  “I feel much better now,” said Charlemagne. “I am a young cat, and I can afford to wait a couple of years. After all, my life is very comfortable just as it is… Thank you so much, angels. You are always so clever and helpful.”

  “That is how we view cats,” answered Mr. Choyce’s angel, whose name, in case the reader wonders, was Nathaniel, very politely. “What humans would do without cats, I simply can’t imagine… dogs too, if you will forgive my mentioning them…” As he prepared to depart, Daniel did one more helpful thing. He sent a strong thought over the ether, and it was exactly at that moment that Mr. Choyce’s face drifted before Miss Merriman’s inner eye. This is, perhaps, the way angels generally operate; we do not know. But we believe that when they do their job properly, their humans respond by inner knowledge, thoughts, or feelings, since why else should Miss Merriman think of Mr. Choyce just as Mr. Goldwasser was offering her a dream job?

  Nathaniel and Samuel said good-bye to Charlemagne and left on their way home. As they were flying, Samuel said, “I saw you peeking, Nat.”

  “You did too,” said Nathaniel.

  “But of course we will never breathe a word about it, Nat.”

  “Never, Sam. We are responsible fellows.”

  “Do you think Daniel noticed? If he did, he might tell Archangel Michael, and we will never be promoted…”

  “No, no. He did not notice. A.M. will never find out as long as we don’t blab.”

  Archangel Michael, who at the moment was in Barsetshire and of course saw the whole incident, smiled to himself. He should discipline these two boys, he thought, but then again, you were only young once, and these two were not even a thousand years old, and such good boys too. No, he would pretend to have noticed nothing, he decided, and turned to the much more important task of assisting a very small kitten who got herself stuck on a tree. He liked to occasionally do hands-on work, just to keep in practice, despite his extremely high rank. He gave the kitten back to her mother, who was howling under the tree for the whole time, accompanied by her three other very silly children, and said to her, “Madam, your daughter is a fine, smart, adventurous little lady. I am considering a very suitable alliance for her, to a gentleman cat in the clerical line.”

  “Thank you sir,” said the mother, delighted. “That will be ever so nice! How very distinguished for our family!” and she was so pleased that she did not even scold her daughter, and went home, where Cook had already put out the bowls of milk for her best mouser and her children.

  Chapter Ten

  “A most enjoyable trip,” said Lady Norton to Mr. Goldwasser. They were sitting on the train, safely back in England, on their way to Barsetshire.

  “I am delighted you have enjoyed our little outing,” said Mr. Goldwasser, putting down his newspaper and smiling at her over his glasses.

  “I have enjoyed it too, Mr. Goldwasser,” said
Miss Merriman. “It brought back so many memories.”

  “And I am so pleased we managed to return to Frau Vogl, where you finally had the opportunity to eat the Sachertorte in honour of your past employer,” said Glamora seriously. “I consider you a great judge of human nature, Miss Merriman. Lady Edith Pomfret must have been quite a lady to be liked so much by you.”

  “Yes, she was,” said Miss Merriman quietly. “She certainly was. Thank you, Miss Tudor, for your good opinion of both of us.”

  “How are you feeling, Mr. Keith?” asked Mrs. Rivers.

  “Oh, we are doing very well,” answered Nurse Chiffinch brightly, as always in the habit of taking over for her patients. “We are recovering extremely fast, since we have such a good strong constitution.”

  Edmond, since he was still a little weak, was perfectly happy to let Nurse Chiffinch speak for him and did not resent her interference. He was looking forward to a quiet week or two at the Mertons, and already planned calling Emma as soon as he arrived. Not so much because he wanted to talk to her, he reasoned, but because he needed to keep in contact with Mr. Clover, of course. His whole future depended on Mr. Clover, clearly.

  Several cars and vans awaited them at the station, and sending the equipment and most of the people further on to Norton Hall, Mr. Goldwasser, Miss Merriman, Miss Tudor, Mrs. Rivers, Mr. Alcott, Edmond, and Nurse Chiffinch went to the Mertons’ house and were warmly welcomed by Lydia. To everyone’s pleasant surprise, Jessica, Aubrey, Mrs. Morland, and Emma were having tea in the drawing room.

  “How lovely to see you,” said Edmond, delighted. “But why are you here?”

  “It just so happened that we were taking Emma back to London today, after her visit with Mrs. Morland, and we thought we would drop in on Lydia on our way home, and then when Mrs. Morland told us you were ill, we decided that all of us must meet here and see you,” said Jessica. “And Lydia was so kind as to invite us to stay for dinner. Noel is in London, of course.”

  “It’s a pleasure to have you,” said Lydia. “And I am so happy to see that Edmond is looking strong.”

  Fresh tea was brought in for the travellers, and everyone settled to enjoy it.

  “Edmond,” said Emma, “I am so glad you are even speaking to me. I’ve been meaning to call you and apologize, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do so. I was afraid you would hang up on me.”

  “Apologize? For what?” said Edmond, genuinely surprised. “And why in the world would I want to hang up on you?”

  “Honestly, Edmond. Don’t tell me you did not hear me when I said that you were following Miss Tudor like a lapdog from one continent to another. It was a horrible thing to say.”

  “Oh, that. Nonsense. I forgot all about it, to tell you the truth,” said Edmond, a little embarrassed. “I never remember fights and arguments for very long.”

  “You really are a very good-natured person, Edmond” said Emma penitently. “So you forgive me?”

  “Of course. Don’t even think about it,” said Edmond.

  With her usual hospitality, Lydia had no trouble arranging for everyone to stay for dinner. A simple affair, she promised them, no fuss, and with the farm regularly supplying excellent food, she could always manage a few guests. They were delighted to stay, since everyone had plenty to tell, and luckily Nurse Chiffinch allowed Edmond to stay up since he was so much stronger, and prepared herself to enjoy the dinner party just as if she were a regular guest.

  “Miss Lover, I am so pleased to find you here,” said Miss Tudor. “I bought a dress in Vienna which only you would fully appreciate. After all, who else here truly relates to clothes the way you and I do?”

  “I do,” said Mr. Goldwasser, Jessica, Aubrey, and Mrs. Morland in unison.

  “Ah, but all of you like clothes for specific purposes,” said Miss Tudor, laughing. “Jake sees them as a way to sell a film. Mrs. Morland sees them as a way to sell books – and very nice books, I must add, as you are one of the very few authors I read, Mrs. Morland – and Miss Dean and Mr. Clover see them as a way to enhance their marvellous plays. But Miss Lover and I adore clothes simply for their own sake.”

  “Like my former secretary, Mrs. Knox, the ci-devant Miss Anne Todd,” said Mrs. Morland, deeply interested in the conversation. “She adores clothes, though you would never know it from looking at her, she really dresses very simply. As a matter of fact, she took the job, so many years ago, because working on books which had so much material about clothes gave her some relief from her hard life. She was killing herself, looking after her very nice, but also extremely difficult invalid mother. I had to force her to take a salary; she said typing all these descriptions of clothes was too much fun to be considered work.”

  “Exactly,” said Glamora, highly gratified by having her meaning so clearly understood by the noted author. “So, Lady Merton, may I take Miss Lover upstairs and show her the dress? She would love it, it’s a complete outfit.”

  “Shoes, too?” interrupted Emma eagerly.

  “Naturally,” said Glamora, “and matching stockings and costume jewellery.”

  Emma jumped to her feet. “May we go up, Lady Merton? I must see this…”

  “Of course,” said Lydia. “And, Miss Tudor, would you kindly put it on and model it for us during dinner? We would all love to see it.”

  “I would be happy to,” said Glamora. “Come on, Miss Lover. My suitcase is in the hallway, let’s take it upstairs…”

  “You will need a bedroom that has a full-length mirror,” said Lydia in a business-like fashion, and the three ladies went upstairs.

  Installed in the comfortable bedroom, Glamora unpacked the dress and Emma gasped with admiration. The dress was made from bright, sunny yellow silk, lavishly decorated with black beading. An enormous, fluffy, black crinoline-style petticoat, with at least four layers of netting, was clearly meant to show under the dress when worn together. Glamora continued by pulling out a pair of sheer black stockings, and shoes that would make any female heart palpitate. They were deceptively simple pumps, made of utterly luxurious leather, with square, medium-height heels. Each had a black crystal attached to it. Emma became speechless with joy.

  “Dancing shoes, really,” said Glamora, “but I just had to have them. Besides, I thought they may come handy somewhere in the film, since there are so many dance sequences in it. Otherwise, even someone like me who is used to ordering expensive clothes, for both films and daily life, would have been embarrassed paying the price they asked for these shoes. But I think they are worth it.”

  “Oh, they are, Miss Tudor. I have never seen such shoes. And how about the jewellery?” asked Emma, finding her voice.

  “Oh, yes,” said Glamora, and from a silk roll she removed an opera-length necklace of magnificent amber beads.

  “This is no costume jewellery,” said Emma reverently. “This is real amber.”

  “Well, yes, when I said costume I meant no diamonds or pearls, really,” said Glamora apologetically. “You know I can never express myself properly… it’s a curse. But you are right. This is true Baltic amber, and I will wear it with a pair of classical golden hoop earrings.”

  “Perfect,” said Emma. “Simply cannot be better.”

  “And now I will put it on,” said Glamora, and in less than five minutes she was completely dressed in the ravishing outfit, accomplishing it with the skill and speed of the professional actress. Emma looked at her with awe. No wonder Edmond was in love with such perfect beauty. She now knew that resignation to this fact was the only choice, and considering that her own heart belonged to Noel Merton, she was determined to always be Edmond’s true friend and comfort him when his hopeless love will make him pine forever. No one could possibly compete with this yellow and black magnificence.

  “I can’t decide if it has Mexican or Spanish overtones,” said Emma, the professional designer that lived in her soul making her forget romance very quickly. “But there is more to it. I can’t put my finger on it…”

  �
�Yes, I agree with you that there is a lot of Latin influence, Miss Lover,” said Glamora, considering herself in the full-length mirror. “But I think with a touch of Hungarian Gypsy mixed up in the design.”

  “That’s it!” exclaimed Emma. “You are absolutely right!”

  “Now, the hair,” said Glamora. “I think maybe I should just simply sweep it up. What do you say?”

  “Absolutely,” said Emma. “But you need one flower in your hair to complete the look.”

  “If my hair were not so red, I would say a bold red flower, like the carnations Lady Merton has on her dining room table, would have worked, or an orange one, matching the amber,” said Glamora, her head to the side, still contemplating her image. “But such colours will clash with the hair. By the way, I hate this colour. However, I have a very nice black organdie flower…”

  “Perfect!” said Emma. “And you know, Miss Tudor, I think you look lovely in any hair colour.”

  “Except dark auburn, of course,” said Glamora. She swept up her hair into a simple and elegant knot, and Emma pinned the black flower to it. The consultation being now over with great success, Glamora transferred her comb and handkerchief to a shiny, beaded black purse and they walked downstairs. The applause from everyone was both loud and heartfelt.

  “I have never seen you looking better,” said Mrs. Rivers with sincere admiration. “Miss Tudor, you simply glow in this dress.” Everyone agreed.

  After dinner, as they were all sitting in the drawing room, Aubrey turned to Mr. Goldwasser.

  “Have things gone well enough with Edmond, Mr. Goldwasser?” he asked.

  “No, Mr. Clover, things are not going smoothly at all. We have this issue of dancing, something that Keith is not able to do, but when we hired a professional to cover up for him, it did not go well. The professional just did not look like Keith in the picture. Keith is too big and sturdy, and almost all professional dancers have a slighter build.”