Surrender the Dark

by Donna Kauffman

  She hit hard and rolled, the chain wrapping around her thighs in a bruising embrace. Sobbing, she frantically tried to free herself. She was half crawling, half dragging herself to the next small rise, clawing at the chain the entire time, when a shadow loomed long and dark in front of her.

  Before she could look up, she’d been hauled upright by a pair of strong arms and was crushed against a broad chest. She tried to get leverage to fight her captor, but he was already running. Unaware of what direction he was heading in, only knowing she hadn’t fought this hard to let them get her now, she started thrashing.

  “Rae, stop. It’s me.”

  THIRTEEN

  Jarrett? Rae went totally still, her sudden deadweight causing him to stumble. She looked up through the sweat and sand stinging her eyes and blurring her vision, knowing it was a sick illusion, that she’d snapped at some point, probably when the chains had dragged her down.

  Still, that didn’t stop her from forcing the one word from her raw throat. “Jarrett?”

  His arms tightened around her. “Yeah. Hold on, we’re almost there.”

  Another round of gunfire erupted behind them, and she flinched against him, terrified he’d be hit but with no way to protect him.

  Then they were over the last rise and Zach was there behind the wheel of a tarp-covered supply truck. Jarrett heaved her into the back and leaped in behind her, covering her with his body. “Move it, move it, move it!” he yelled. Zach already had the vehicle rolling even as Jarrett’s body was coming down to cover hers. They bounced hard over the desert surface for several minutes without moving, then Jarrett rolled off her.

  “You okay?” he demanded gruffly, working as swiftly as he could to disentangle the chains from her legs.

  “You’re here,” she said, somewhat dazedly.

  “Yeah,” he said simply, looking at her again. “I’m here.”

  She slid backward until her back hit the wheel hub. “But … how?” On the tail of the escape, she was having trouble processing all of this information through her head.

  “I moved to a safe house just across the border about twelve hours after you left the States.”

  That sent her mind reeling even more. “Your cover … If they’d caught you …”

  “I didn’t risk the transfer. But I couldn’t stay back there and let you do this alone.”

  “But Zach could—”

  “I couldn’t, Rae,” he repeated. “I was ten miles across the border. Far enough not to be a threat to the operation, close enough to—” He broke off, turned away for a moment, then looked back at her. “Close enough to get to you if I had to.”

  She didn’t know what to say, wasn’t certain what it all meant. “Where are we headed? Is the transport out still on the same schedule?”

  “For the most part.”

  “The colonel is dead,” she told him.

  Jarrett’s expression darkened considerably.

  “Assassinated,” she went on before he could speak. “Yesterday. I was able to determine who was in control and passed the information to his second-in-command.”

  “You what?” Jarrett yelled. “I told you not to take risks, I told you to get out if anything went wrong! What in the hell were you thinking?”

  Rae couldn’t deal with this. She snapped. “I completed the mission, McCullough, so back off!”

  He jerked as if she’d struck him. Then he was crawling over to her, the action made difficult by the jouncing motion of the truck as well as by the fact that he was obviously favoring his hurt leg. He was just as obviously not letting it stop him.

  Her hand flew to his chest as he loomed over her. “Oh my God, your leg!” she cried, remembering now for the first time how he’d carried her—run with her!—to safety.

  He grabbed her arms and pulled her against him, pushing his face into hers. “I don’t care about my damn leg! Don’t you understand that? And I don’t care about the damn mission.” He fell back when they hit a particularly nasty rut, and she landed in a sprawl across his chest, her cuffed hands and the chains trapped between them.

  He reached for her face and lifted his head to meet her eyes. “The way you came over that hill, I thought you’d been hit,” he said, his voice so strained she couldn’t have heard it if she’d been any farther away. “I almost lost it right then, Rae.” His hands were shaking. “I don’t want to be put through anything like that ever again.”

  Her eyes blurred, but this time it had nothing to do with sand or sweat. “Jarrett,” she whispered.

  His hands tightened and he pulled her even closer, until his breath became hers. “Rae, I came here because I had to. Because I couldn’t let you be alone anymore.” His gaze roamed over her face, then fastened back on her eyes. The power and depth behind his words were underscored by the strength and intensity she found there, the emotion he’d laid bare just for her. “And,” he finished on a rough plea, “because I don’t want to be alone anymore either.”

  “Jarrett—”

  “I love you, Rae.”

  Tears sprang into her eyes, and she gulped a sob down her throat. She burned to hold him, to run her fingers over his forehead, cheeks, and lips.

  “I don’t want to be alone either,” she managed between gulps. “Oh God, how I love you.”

  His mouth was on hers before she’d finished the last word. He kissed her as if she’d been gone a month, a year, a lifetime, and she kissed him back the same way.

  When they finally broke apart, she struggled to get her hands free. He gently pushed her away and leaned over to drag out a duffel bag that had been stowed behind the wheel hub. He scooted up until his back was against the side of the truck and removed a small toolbox. Rae crawled awkwardly to his side and extended her wrists.

  He took hold of them, swearing heatedly at the damage done to her skin as he carefully worked on the locking mechanism. “I’m turning JMI over to my two top operatives.”

  Her mouth dropped open, but she was too stunned to formulate a response. She was still reeling from his first declaration. She hadn’t dared allow herself to hope for more. His love was enough.

  He looked up at her. “I don’t know if it will be operated in the same way, and frankly, I can’t let myself worry about that. It will go on. I want my life back.” He paused, then said, “I want you.

  “I’ve offered my services as a trainer for new operatives,” he hurried on, “but I won’t know what they decide for a while. There’s still a lot to be worked out.” When she remained silent, he bent back to the cuffs. “If they don’t take me on, I’m sure the government will, but I’ll only go as a civilian. As a consultant.”

  The cuffs sprang free, and she pulled her hands close to her stomach and began to massage them carefully. Her heart was beating so hard and her blood roared so loudly inside her head, she didn’t even feel the pain in her wrists as her fingers encountered the bloody abrasions left by the rough metal.

  “Rae?”

  She looked up and was caught off guard by the vulnerability and uncertainty she found in his eyes. She was having a hard time absorbing it all, and all she could manage was, “Yes?”

  He reached for her hands, lifted them, then placed a kiss on an unbroken patch of skin directly over her pulse. He looked at her. “Do you think you could deal with that? As an occupation, I mean?”

  “Yeah,” she said, her voice rough with unshed tears. “I can handle that.” Hope made a big crack in the final wall around her heart, and she fought hard to contain it. “But what happens the first time one of your trainees is hurt or you find out a mission failed because it wasn’t planned properly?” She took a deep breath. “Can you honestly stay out of that end of it, Jarrett? Because I don’t think I could handle having you only to lose you.”

  His response was immediate and firm. “Yes. Rae, I won’t ever put you through what I just went through over the past forty-eight hours. I might scream and rant and rave when I see screwups. And I imagine the new directors will get real
tired of the letters I’m bound to fire off. But I want my life back. I want a life with you. A family, if you want one too. Nothing will ever change that.”

  “No fieldwork?”

  “None. Nine to five. The occasional weekend.”

  “A weekend warrior? You?” The tiniest of smiles tugged at her lips and a sob and a laugh rose simultaneously in her throat.

  “You can always come along if you want.” He smiled. “Those poor recruits won’t know what hit ’em.” The uncertainty faded from his eyes, but not the vulnerability. And that, mixed with the determination and the confidence that crept back in, captured her wholly and completely.

  Shocking both Jarrett and herself, she said, “Maybe I will. I can’t go back to JMI, but I know now I can’t cut myself off from life. I love my mountain, but I want my life back too.” Her smile finally broke free as the last wall fell and hope sprang full-blown from her heart and filled her soul. “You never know, I might teach you a thing or two.”

  “You already have.” He reached into his pants pocket. “I guess I can give this back to you now.” He pulled her hand into his lap and pressed something warm and metallic into her palm.

  Rae looked down to discover the heart pendant she’d made, the one she’d shown him what seemed like a lifetime ago. She shot him a questioning look.

  He shrugged. “I couldn’t leave without a piece of you.”

  “And now?”

  “And now I don’t need this heart anymore. I have yours. And you have mine. Rae Gannon, will you marry me?”

  She answered by pulling his head to hers and kissing him until they were both breathless.

  “Is that a yes?” he asked when he could.

  “Most men don’t propose with a piece of jewelry they’ve stolen from their bride-to-be.”

  “I’m not most men.”

  “Thank God for that.” Her grin faded to a gentle smile. “Jarrett McCullough, I’d be honored to be your wife.”

  His eyes were bright with a fierce light when he brushed her lips with his. “And I’m going to spend the rest of my life making damn sure you never regret it.” He deepened the kiss, then cradled her tightly between his thighs. “I can’t wait to get home.”

  Rae smiled and snuggled into his embrace. “I already am home.”

  They were married at Rae’s mountain cabin six weeks later. Rae wore a beautifully tailored white silk suit. The two best men, Zach and Dane, were more than impressive in matching tuxes. But Rae only had eyes for Jarrett. His dark good looks were made even more dashing and sexy by his black tux. She’d been caught up in the possessive light in his gray eyes when he’d taken her hand as she’d stood beside him, and she barely remembered the simple civil ceremony. She would, however, remember the kiss that had sealed their vows for the rest of her life.

  Zach hooted, Dane applauded, and the remaining member of the wedding party, Zach’s assistant Beaudine, egged them on with totally outrageous comments.

  After making sure the caterer had the small buffet under control, Rae and Jarrett strolled out to the front deck alone with their plates.

  Spring had come to the mountain with an explosion of life. Rae felt the same swell of life deep inside her and couldn’t help the secret smile she gave to her husband.

  “What?” he asked, leaning down to press a kiss on her neck. He hadn’t been able to go more than ten minutes at any given time since they’d left the desert without touching her. She hoped he didn’t plan on stopping that habit anytime soon.

  She smiled. “I guess I’m in complete awe of just how much happiness there can be.” She lifted up on her toes and kissed him soundly. “Thank you for giving me that.”

  “Yeah,” he agreed, “I’ve been thinking the same thing.”

  He kissed her again, then lifted a small canape from her plate and tucked it into her mouth. “Eat,” he said, then, with a totally wicked grin, added, “You’ll need your strength for later.”

  “Well, if that’s the case, you might want to consider seconds for yourself.”

  Jarrett laughed.

  Zach came out on the deck just then, a wild twinkle in his eyes. “Am I ever going to get to kiss the bride?”

  “Not on your life,” Jarrett responded. “You always get the girl. And you can have them, but this one’s mine.”

  Dane joined them. Rae had only met him the day before, but she’d liked him immediately. While Jarrett was certainly intense, even now, she didn’t think she’d ever met anyone as … contained as Dane Colbourne.

  “So,” Dane said. “The three musketeers are together again.” He grabbed Jarrett’s hand and gave it a shake. “Congratulations, man, I’m happy for you.” Then he bent and kissed Rae’s cheek.

  “Hey!” Zach exclaimed when Jarrett made no move to stop him.

  Dane shot Zach a confused look, then turned back to Jarrett and Rae and said, “I’ll admit, the very last place I figured we’d be together again was at your wedding.”

  Rae was busy trying not to laugh, when the screen door slapped shut behind them and the dulcet tones of Beaudine’s Cajun accented voice assaulted them with all the finesse of a Sherman tank.

  “Should have let me cook, but mais non, you hire strangers. All bland, no spice.” She walked right up to Jarrett, lifted up on tiptoe, but still barely managed to reach his shoulder. So she grabbed his head, pulled it down, and bussed him soundly on the mouth. Releasing him, she sighed with deep satisfaction. “Well, at least I finally got to do that.”

  There was a collective choking noise, then Zach and Rae began to laugh. Jarrett just smiled and dabbed at the hot fuchsia lipstick left on his mouth. Dane calmly handed him a clean linen.

  Beaudine then turned to Rae and took her hand. The older woman, in hot-pink satin pumps was maybe five-five. Her hands were wiry and strong despite the age spots scattered across the skin. Her face had earned its share of wrinkles, but the small dark eyes were sharp and held a depth of wisdom Rae didn’t even guess at. As Jarrett had said, she could have been fifty or eighty.

  Her expression totally serious, Beaudine motioned Rae to lean closer, then spoke loudly enough to be heard by all. “I bought you a trashy nightie, chère. That boy”—she jerked her head toward Jarrett—“he’s something to look at all right, but I wasn’t too sure if he’d loosen up enough to show you a good time.”

  This time they all choked. Rae fought valiantly to keep a straight face as Zach took Beaudine’s arm, but she shook him off and continued. “Well, chère, anyone with eyes can see you won’t be needing a nightie or anything else for that matter. So if you don’t mind, I think I’ll keep it for myself.”

  Zach took her arm more firmly this time. “Beaudine, ma petite chérie, now what kind of wedding present is that?”

  She turned on him. “Oh shush. You just pouting because you didn’t get a kiss. Well, I’ll tell you what, cher, I’m not getting any younger and just because you struck out doesn’t mean I have to settle for going home alone too.” She gestured to a distinguished silver-haired gentlemen on the other side of the front window currently filling a plate at the buffet. “Now there’s a man who needs a little help with his diet.”

  Rae just stood there, speechless, as the small woman bustled off after the justice of the peace, saying, “I wonder what he thinks of emerald-green satin and black lace?”

  “Poor guy,” Zach said. “He won’t know what hit him.” He grinned at the rest of them. “Maybe I’ll just mosey over there and casually mention the stack of unpaid parking tickets she has stuffed in her desk drawer.”

  When it was just the three of them, Jarrett turned to Dane, still smiling and shaking his head. He handed back the handkerchief and said, “I’m sorry Dara couldn’t make it.”

  “Yeah, she’s sorry she couldn’t be here. She doesn’t really consider the reunion complete without D’Artagnan.”

  “She never seems to have trouble saying no when we get together for one of Zach’s suicide missions.”

  “Well, we all k
now there’s no love lost there. Anyway, she sends her best. She’s on one of her trips with her kids.”

  Jarrett had told Rae all about Dara, that she was a director at the Dream A Little Dream Foundation, which granted wishes to seriously ill children.

  “How’s she doing over there?” he asked.

  “Great. It’s a never-ending struggle to come up with private funding, but she’s the best they’ve got.”

  “Why don’t you send me her current wish list and I’ll see what I can do.”

  “She won’t turn you down. I’ll pass it along.”

  “And now,” Jarrett said, setting his plate and Rae’s on a nearby table, “if you’ll excuse us, I have a little gift for my wife that won’t wait another minute.”

  Dane swept his arm in front of him. “Far be it from me to obstruct marital bliss.”

  Jarrett slid his fingers down her arm to twine with hers as he guided her to the outdoor entrance to the garage.

  “You have wonderful friends, Jarrett. Truly wonderful.”

  “Even Beaudine?” he asked, smiling.

  Rae grinned. “Especially Beaudine. I imagine it takes every bit of her bayou savvy to keep Zach in line. But I can also see she loves him like a son.”

  They reached the door.

  “Close your eyes,” Jarrett commanded.

  Grinning broadly, totally intrigued by this unexpected gift, she complied. “Okay, what is it?”

  “Well, I know you’ve been making the trip out to the zoo compound to see Wolf every chance you get.”

  She was stunned. “How did you know that?”

  “Hey, I have my sources. Anyway, I talked to the folks over there, and after much discussion, they made it very clear that Wolf shouldn’t—couldn’t—be domesticated.”