Saved by Love

by Christine Kingsley

  "Just promise me one thing."

  She narrowed her eyes at him. "Depends."

  "Don't completely write off a trip to the beach. I know your inner surfer is just dying to come out."

  She opened her mouth to protest, but he held up a finger and shook his head. "I know we just met, so it does sound kind of crazy. But humor me and think about it."

  She nodded, then turned to make her way up the stairs. When she unlocked her door, she looked back and found him still at the bottom of the stairs watching her.

  "Just holding up my end of the deal." He smiled that heart-stopping smile again. "Goodnight, Abby."

  She stared at him, then broke the connection, fearing she'd get lost in those sea-green eyes. "Goodnight," she said, barely above a whisper.

  Rushing inside, she shut the door and leaned against it. In a matter of one day, her entire world she'd been creating for herself was upended. She didn't have room for a guy in her life. Not until she figured herself out. But Ethan wasn't the kind of guy you could easily push out of your mind.

  She put a hand to her cheek, feeling how flushed it was, and wondered if she'd been like that all night. So many conflicting thoughts were flying through her head. She was undeniably attracted to Ethan. She wasn't ready for this. She wanted this. She didn't want this. If only he'd kissed her. It was too soon.

  There was only one way to settle this. She'd go back out there, kiss him, then be done with it. That would be that.

  She flung open the door and stepped outside. But he was gone. And she wasn't going to go knocking on his door. What kind of message would that send?

  Heavy with disappointment, she made her way to her bedroom and flung herself down. What she wasn't certain of was whether she was disappointed they hadn't kissed or disappointed in herself for not being stronger and sticking by her promise to herself.

  Wishing she'd sprung for cable, she grabbed the remote and flipped through the few channels she did have, then turned the TV back off. No distractions for her unfortunately. It was going to be a night filled with images of Ethan Barnes. The irony wasn't lost on her that she was the proud owner of the best mattress money could buy and she was about to have the most sleepless night of her life.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Ethan grunted as he started pumping out yet another set on the bench press. He'd been working out in the gym at the firehouse for at least an hour and a half. His frustration hadn't abated a bit. It had been two days since he'd seen Abby and he couldn't get her off his mind.

  And he'd tried.

  He'd still been outside after she'd gone into her apartment, thinking over how the night had gone, when he heard her come back out and stand outside her door. He wanted so badly to go up there, but he checked himself. They really had only just met. And he was not the committing type.

  Which was why it was driving him crazy that he couldn't stop thinking about Abby. He couldn't remember a woman ever getting under his skin like she did. He wanted to spend time with her, get to know her. Yeah, she was gorgeous and he couldn't stop thinking about what it would feel like to wrap her in his arms and kiss her stupid, but that wasn't all there was to it.

  He'd spent the last two days convincing and unconvincing himself to go up to her apartment and just ask her out on a regular date. He'd jumped the gun mentioning a beach trip. She probably thought he was crazy. For all she knew he could be a psychotic stalker. She'd just looked so excited talking about surfing that it had slipped out before he thought better of it.

  Now he wanted to take a step back and try again. The problem was, he wasn't sure she would go for it. She was protecting herself with those walls, of that he was certain. Would she let him in even just a little? And if she did, could he handle that? He had to be careful with a woman like Abby. He didn't want to hurt her. And if she wanted more from him than he was able to give, that's likely how she'd end up.

  Replacing the bar back on the rack, he grabbed a towel to mop up the sweat that was pouring off of him, took a swig of water and stepped onto the treadmill. Maybe a run would help him clear his head.

  "Dude, are you trying to prepare for the next Iron Man or what?" Braden came in and started up the treadmill next to Ethan to warm up. "I swear you've been in here for over an hour."

  "Ninety minutes," Ethan bit out between breaths.

  "What's the deal?"

  Ethan cut his eyes at Braden. He didn't know how much he should tell him. Braden was his best friend, but he didn't quite get it where women were concerned. It was all about the good times with him. The fallout and emotions involved didn't even cross his radar.

  "Is it Abby? Because if not, I'm all out of guesses."

  "That's all you've got is one guess? It's a good thing you nailed it."

  Braden smirked. "So it is Abby. What's the problem? From what I saw, you two were totally into each other."

  Ethan sighed. "Maybe. But I told you the other night I'm not looking for anything."

  "And? Again, what's the problem?"

  Ethan was losing his patience, and it was becoming harder to carry on a conversation the longer he pushed himself on the treadmill. He pushed the button to stop it and drank from his water bottle before responding.

  "The problem is that I don't think she's just looking for a good time." Or looking for anything for that matter. "I'm not her type."

  "Have you asked her?" Braden didn't beat around the bush.

  Ethan just stared at him, dumbfounded for a minute.

  Braden laughed. "That's pretty presumptuous, dude. Expecting that the woman is going to want to marry you or something. Why don't you just tell her how it is? That you're into her but commitment's not your thing."

  Put much less bluntly, Braden had a point. What if he was making all of this a bigger deal in his head than it actually was? Maybe Abby wasn't looking for anything serious any more than he was. Was he that full of himself? If so, he was an idiot that deserved the last two days of agonizing over it.

  Ethan clapped him on the shoulder. "Thanks, man. Don't know why I didn't think of that."

  Braden grinned. "That's why I'm the brains of this outfit."

  "That would be one hell of a scary thought if that were true." Ethan slung his towel over his shoulder and headed toward the showers. He was off duty by now and didn't want to waste another minute.

  Maybe he was worried for nothing. Really, who was he to presume what Abby did and didn't want?

  After a quick shower, he put on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, ran his hands through his hair just enough so that it wasn't sticking up everywhere, and headed out of the firehouse. It wasn't far from the town square where his apartment was, so he typically walked. Today he wished he'd driven so he could get home faster.

  Passing by Cassie Martin's bakery as he made his way across the square, he was stopped by a hand reaching out to grab his arm. Startled, he looked down, only to wish he hadn't.

  Marissa. His ex.

  It wasn't like he never expected to see her, considering they lived in the same town, but they typically avoided each other. Now, as she sat at one of the bistro tables outside the bakery, he wondered why she chose this moment to change that unspoken agreement.

  "Marissa," he sighed. "Hey. I didn't see you there."

  She frowned at him. "I only said your name about three times."

  "Sorry, my head is somewhere else."

  Letting go of his arm, she sat back and crossed hers. "Hmm. Maybe on someone you mean?"

  He didn't have time for this. "Marissa, what are you getting at? Is there a reason you stopped me and wanted to talk to me?"

  "I heard about it you know. About you and that new girl."

  "I don't know what you heard, but there—"

  "Did you have to be so blatant about it, Ethan? Putting on a display for the whole town to see?"

  Now he was angry. "Look, there was no display. I was out with another woman. I'm sorry, Marissa, but there's no reason that it's any of your business."

 
; "That's not what I heard."

  This was getting more high school by the moment, and he'd had enough. "Like I said, I don't see how it's any of your business. We aren't together anymore. And we both know why."

  Marissa looked like she'd been slapped, and Ethan instantly regretted the harsh words. They did both know why, and he was sure it was just as painful for both of them to think about it.

  "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Come here. I'm sorry," he repeated. He pulled Marissa from her chair and tried to give her a comforting hug, but as she clung to him, he felt more awkward than anything. He had cared for her once. Maybe not love, but she had meant something to him.

  She started to cry. "Ethan, I miss you. I know it was hard, what happened. Losing our baby. But I think we gave up on us too soon." It was as if she'd taken a knife and twisted it deep inside an old festering wound.

  "Marissa," he ground out. "Don't." He tried not to think about it often, but it was always there in the back of his mind. How he was the one responsible for the miscarriage. It had destroyed what was left of their relationship and left him unwilling to commit to another.

  "Please, Ethan. Give us another chance." She placed a hand on each side of his face and looked into his eyes. He looked at her, trying to remember how he'd once felt about her, but all he felt now was pity.

  He reached up to grab her wrists and was about to pull them away and apologize for hurting her yet again, but her gaze shifted from his to a spot behind him and he saw something strange pass across her face. What was that look?

  He turned around and froze.

  Abby stood there outside Cassie's Confections looking back and forth between the two of them. When she met his eyes, she gave him a tight-lipped smile and a curt nod, then pulled on the door handle and disappeared inside.

  His gut clenched. No telling what she thought when she saw the two of them standing there like that. When he looked back at Marissa, he recognized that look for what it was. Triumph. She was actually trying to set him up to look like a jerk in front of Abby?

  He pushed her hands away in disgust. "I can't believe you. You did that on purpose?"

  Marissa shrugged. "She's not right for you, Ethan."

  "Well you certainly aren't. I can't believe you would use the baby as an excuse to hurt me," he hissed.

  Her eyes hardened. "Maybe that's what you deserve. It's your fault, you know."

  Yeah, he knew. But hearing her say it was like a sucker punch.

  Without a word, he turned and strode away, wanting nothing more than the sanctuary of his apartment. The guilt of his past was never far away, but he thought he'd mostly come to terms with it.

  Safe inside where no one could see him, he sank down onto the couch and let the guilt wash over him. How many times had he berated himself for taking Marissa out on the mountain that day? If he hadn't insisted that she ride with him on the snowmobile, the accident may never have happened. He hadn't even known she was pregnant.

  It had been enough to convince him that his lifestyle was just too risky. Too dangerous. He had no business being involved with someone that would be devastated if something happened to him. Hell, even going to work on a normal day was a hazard. There was no guarantee he would come home from an emergency call to a fire.

  So he'd given up the idea of a relationship with anyone. From then on he’d been as much about the good times as Braden.

  Until Abby walked into his life. As much as he may have tried to convince himself that what Braden said was true, he knew deep down that Abby was an all-in kind of woman.

  So where did that leave him now? Because in spite of everything, including what had just gone down with Marissa, he still couldn't walk away from the idea of seeing what was there between him and Abby.

  Abby.

  The look in her eyes made him feel sick. As if he was exactly what she was afraid of all along.

  After a few more minutes he was able to safely tuck away the guilt into the space that he relegated it to, always with him but at a livable distance. He had to talk to Abby and make her understand that what she saw wasn't what she thought. The problem was, she had nothing to base that on. They had only just met. But he wasn't ready to let go of her just yet.

  ***

  What an idiot! She should have known better, but in a matter of days she'd already let herself get too caught up in Ethan. She'd kept her distance since the night at the Old Gin, but he hadn't been far from her thoughts. And this was exactly what she should have expected.

  As Abby brooded over a cup of coffee at a corner table in Cassie's bakery, she barely noticed the customers that came in and out of the shop. In fact, she was trying very hard not to pay attention, hoping that she wouldn't catch sight of Ethan and that woman outside. When she'd walked in, Cassie must have immediately known something was wrong, because even though she was swamped with customers, she’d pushed a cup of coffee and a donut into Abby's hands and commanded her to sit down and wait until the rush died off.

  "Don't like donuts?"

  Abby glanced up to see Cassie smiling down at her, two steaming mugs in her hand. She set one in front of Abby, then sat down with hers in the chair next to Abby. Looking around the bakery, she saw that a young girl had now taken over the front counter and Cassie had removed her frilly pink apron. From the looks of it, she was either done for the day or on a break.

  Abby pushed her cold coffee to the side and lifted the new mug, getting a whiff of chocolatey goodness. "Hot chocolate?" She raised her eyebrows.

  "There is a time and a place for a woman to have chocolate, and right now seems like that time. Coffee just isn't going to cut it." Cassie gave her a sympathetic look. "You want to talk about it?"

  "Am I that obvious?"

  Cassie smiled. "Not necessarily. But I happened to see what was going on outside right as you came in. And the look on your face made it pretty clear that you weren't happy about it."

  Abby dropped her head hands. "Ugh. I really don't have time for something like this."

  "I know we don't know each other that well, but I think time isn't what you're lacking in this situation." Cassie's voice was soft, and Abby looked up to study her closely. It was true, she didn't know her that well, and opening up to strangers wasn't really her cup of tea, but something about Cassie seemed so kind and caring that she found herself talking before she could think better of it.

  "I just don't have it in me to deal with the drama of getting involved with a guy right now. Honestly, I don't know if I'll ever be ready for it." That was a depressing thought. She was only twenty-five. Had she already resigned herself to being an old spinster? "Especially with a guy like Ethan."

  Cassie reached out and placed a hand gently on hers. "Do you really have him pegged already? He's not a bad guy, Abby."

  "You said you saw the same thing I did. And, well, look at the guy. You can't tell me that someone that looks like him isn't a total heartbreaker."

  Cassie shook her head, strands of her blonde hair falling out of her ponytail. "I won't deny that women are pretty regularly throwing themselves at him. And he does date around. But he's definitely not one of those guys that flies through women, leaving a trail of broken hearts in his wake. That girl you saw—Marissa is her name—she's his ex-girlfriend. The only serious one I think he's ever had."

  "If you're trying to make a case for him, you're doing a pretty terrible job." Abby made a face and took a sip of her hot chocolate, then looked back at Cassie with wide eyes. "Oh my gosh, this is amazing. I thought it was kind of crazy to have hot chocolate when it's not even cold outside yet, but this is better than ice cream if you're looking to drown your sorrows."

  Cassie laughed. "So you are upset about this."

  Abby rolled her eyes. "It's crazy. Ridiculous. I don't even know the guy. I literally just met him two days ago. But I don't know, Cassie—and don't you tell Lissa—I just can't get him out of my head."

  "That's what I thought," Cassie said, smiling over the rim of her mug.
"Maybe I've turned into a hopeless romantic, but the way you guys were looking at each other the other night... It was swoon-worthy."

  Burying her face in her hands again, Abby laughed, in spite of the way her insides were all twisted up. "Then how do you explain that—whatever it was—with Marissa?"

  Cassie shrugged. "They broke up over a year ago. And nobody knows why. It's weird. You'd think Lissa or her mother would have sniffed it out by now, but nope. All I know is that they went on this trip up to the mountains together, and when they came back, that was it."

  Abby was struck again with how much everybody in this town seemed to know everything about everyone else. Yet no one knew about this.

  "Anyway, they pretty much avoid each other like the plague now. So whatever that was, I'm certain it wasn't what it looked like. If I'm not mistaken, she grabbed him when he was just walking by. If you're worried about getting your heart broken or something, I can't guarantee anything, but I do think he's a good guy." She shrugged, then gave Abby a grin. "And if you pass up on the chemistry I saw between you two, you're just crazy."

  Abby laughed. "Thanks." Draining the rest of her hot chocolate, she set the mug down and sighed. "And thanks for that, too. So good."

  "Anytime." She looked past Abby at the sidewalk tables. "In case you didn't notice, Marissa is long gone. But there is a certain fireman making his way back here."

  Abby turned around and saw that Ethan was in fact walking back toward the bakery from the direction of their apartment building. Was he coming to find her? That was silly of her, though. Why would he be looking for her? Unless he really was as interested in her as Cassie seemed to think. Her heart jumped up into her throat at the idea. And as much as she told herself that she needed to watch out for him, she couldn't help thinking about Cassie's words. He's a good guy.

  Good didn't necessarily equate to safe. He gave off the dangerous vibe in waves. And wasn't she trying to be independent? She didn't need a guy.