Saved by Love

by Christine Kingsley

  "I never would have believed it," she said. "How did you possibly eat all that? I feel sick and I didn't even have half. Maybe not even a third."

  He flexed his biceps. "Benefits of working out. I burn calories at a ridiculous rate."

  "Must be nice," she muttered.

  "Yeah, but now I think I'm going into a sugar coma." He leaned back in the booth and stretched, his leg brushing against hers. "So what did you think?"

  "Delicious, no doubt."

  He grinned. "I knew you'd like it. No room for dinner?"

  Abby looked at him like he was crazy. "Ha! I think I'm set until dinner tomorrow."

  Reaching for her, Ethan placed a hand behind her head and leaned in to give her a slow, lingering kiss. Her body responded instantly, and before she realized it, she was pulling him closer, deepening the kiss.

  Abruptly he pulled back, his eyes boring into hers with an intensity she hadn't seen before. "I think we should get out of here before we get kicked out."

  Abby blushed and whispered, "You're probably right." She had to start controlling herself better around him.

  Ethan paid the check up at the counter and thanked the woman with the name 'Kate' embroidered on her apron. Abby was surprised to see that she didn't look much older than she and Ethan.

  On the way back to the car, Ethan pulled her to his side again and rested a hand on her hip. "Thanks for coming with me tonight."

  "It was an experience for sure." She smiled. "Thank you. But honestly, I don't think I'm ready for the night to end." She bit her lip as she waited for his response. He'd only invited her out for ice cream, but she really wasn't ready for their date to be over. She just hoped he felt the same.

  His smile said enough. "Good. Neither am I. Maybe a movie? Dancing again? What sounds fun? Maybe there's something going on in the square that I haven't heard about. They do events on the weekends this time of year. Let me check." He pulled out his phone and froze. "Oh no. This is terrible."

  Abby's stomach clenched at the tone of his voice, and she clutched his arm. "What's wrong?"

  "It's the firehouse. They've been trying to reach me but I had my phone on silent. There's a brush fire outside of town that's gotten out of control and they need everyone on the force to help out." He looked up from his phone and his face looked pinched. "I'm sorry, Abby. I've got to go."

  She nodded, swallowing past the tightness that had just formed in her throat. "I understand. Completely." He hurried to let her in the passenger side and she was barely buckled up before he was in the car and careening back toward their apartment building.

  Gripping the edge of the seat until her knuckles turned white, Abby looked at Ethan as he drove. He had lines of strain around his eyes. "Is it...um...dangerous?" She knew it was a stupid question. Fires were never safe. But she didn't know exactly how bad the situation was that the firemen were dealing with.

  He cut his eyes to her for a second, then focused back on the road, his expression grim. "Potentially. It depends on how out of control it is already and how close it is to any buildings."

  They reached the apartment in record time and he jumped out and came around to open her door. As she stood up he gripped her arms. "I'm sorry to have to leave you like this, but I can't wait. I have to go now." His expression was odd, almost regretful. "It's part of what I do, Abby." He studied her face, the intensity in his gaze taking her by surprise.

  "It's fine. I get it." She gave him a weak smile. "Now go put out that fire."

  Without warning he pulled her against him and pressed a hard kiss to her mouth. When he pulled away, he cupped her face. "I'll call you tomorrow."

  And then he was back in his car and gone. Abby barely had time to process it all. She knew emergency calls were part of his job, so she didn't mind that he'd had to cut their date short. But the way he'd looked at her, as if he were memorizing her face as he kissed her goodbye, had her stomach wanting to empty itself of the dessert they'd just shared.

  She walked slowly up the stairs to her apartment, the enormity of the situation weighing heavily on her. For a firefighter, this was just a routine call. But for someone that cared about a firefighter, it was the beginning of a sleepless night full of worry and fear.

  How had she let herself get back in this place? Had she truly convinced herself that she was past her fears? That she could let herself get involved with someone again? Especially someone who led a life like Ethan's. He was as dangerous as they came.

  Abby didn't know what was more terrifying. The fact that Ethan had just left for a job that might not see him back again safely, or the fact that she already cared so much about him that she wouldn't rest soundly until she knew he was okay.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  “Earth to Abby.”

  Abby shook herself out of her reverie and resumed chopping the peppers, giving Denise Kincade an apologetic smile.

  "I'm so sorry. I don't know where my head is." But, of course, that wasn't true. She knew exactly where her mind was. She hadn't—as usual—been able stop thinking about Ethan since he left her at the apartment to help with the fire. He texted her Saturday afternoon saying that he’d just returned home and was sorry he’d had to bail on their date. She hadn’t heard from him since and assumed he was catching up on much-needed rest.

  Denise gave her a sympathetic smile. "I understand, honey."

  Setting the chopping knife down on the island, Abby leaned forward and stared earnestly into Denise's eyes. "Can I ask you a question?"

  Denise stopped prepping the Sunday dinner they were working on and wiped her hands on her apron before steering Abby away from the kitchen island to the antique wooden kitchen table.

  "Sit down, honey. Tell me about it."

  Abby took a deep breath, unsure how much she wanted to reveal to Denise. It wasn't long ago that she would have gone to her own mother to discuss any problems she was having, but now that her mother was gone and she'd come to Willow Valley, Denise had quickly become a surrogate mother to her. Abby was continually amazed that Denise could be so kind and welcoming to her under the complicated circumstances—even more so than her own father.

  "Are you sure you want to talk about it?" Denise gave her hand a squeeze. "You don't quite look like you do."

  Before she could think better of it, she began pouring out the whole tale of how she had gotten involved with Ethan, if that was even the right word. She still wasn't sure what they were to each other—just that it was something she couldn't easily dismiss and walk away from.

  When Abby was finished speaking, Denise leaned back, studying her with wise eyes that had seen their fair share of what life could deal out. "What's holding you back?"

  Abby started. "What do you mean?"

  Denise smiled gently. "Obviously you're very interested in the man, and it appears he’s just as interested in you. I'm trying to understand what the problem is."

  "I guess I'm just afraid." She bit her lip, unsure of how much more she wanted to reveal.

  "What are you so afraid of?" Denise was one to get straight to the heart of the matter.

  Abby leaned her elbows on the table and dropped her forehead into her palms. Heaving a great sigh, she looked back up at Denise and said, "I'm afraid of getting hurt."

  Abby searched Denise's face for reassurance and saw shadows there that indicated she had been in a situation that also caused hurt. It made sense. Based on what Jesse had told her, Charles Kincade’s infidelity hadn’t been a one-time occurrence. How had she dealt with the betrayal over and over again?

  She pursed her lips. "I think there's always the potential to get hurt when you open yourself up to another person. You just have to decide if it's worth the risk."

  Abby absorbed those words. Was Ethan worth the risk? She couldn't say that just yet. But she did know she would have a hell of a time trying to stay away from him. She didn't even want to try anymore. The problem was, how could she get past her own issues to even give it a shot? And would he even want to? It was
n’t a secret that Ethan didn’t do relationships. Even though he seemed to be pursuing her, she was risking getting hurt just by taking that chance.

  "Here's the thing," Abby said, gearing herself up to let Denise in a little closer to her heart. Something she found surprisingly easy with this woman who had welcomed her into her family. “I've been hurt in the past. Badly. So much so that I walled myself off, told myself that if I didn't get close to anyone then I'd be safer that way. I wouldn't get hurt."

  Denise leaned forward, clasping her fingers together under her chin. "Is that really any way to live? I don't know what you've been through, other than what you told me about your mother, but you seem pretty strong from what I've seen. You’re tougher than you think. It takes guts to come to a new town and meet a family you never knew you had."

  Abby smiled at her, appreciating the way she viewed her. But she didn’t feel strong anymore. Not like she used to be, before fear and uncertainty ruled her life.

  "Everyone I've ever cared for, or that I've ever let in, I've lost. I mean everyone. How can I risk that again? How do you move on when there's a very real fear that history will repeat itself?"

  Denise sighed and leaned back in her seat, her eyes distant, as if she were remembering history of her own.

  Abby knew it had to be hard living with a man after knowing that he was unfaithful, and a multiple offender at that. She hated to dredge up those memories for Denise, but Abby’s mere presence in her home surely had to bring them to the surface every time she was faced with her husband’s other child. But in spite of it, she was always generous and welcoming to Abby. She really was a spectacular woman.

  Finally, Denise spoke. "My situation is different from yours. I can read between the lines enough to see that you've been hurt in the past—not just by losing your mother and finding out about your father—but that you've been hurt by the loss of a man who was very special to you. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so. What I can tell you is that living a life full of what-ifs and fears is not actually living at all. You have to make the decision for yourself. Do you want to take the risk and put yourself out there, potentially finding something amazing, or is playing it safe the better bet?"

  Abby laughed. "That's exactly what I can't decide."

  Denise leaned forward and squeezed her hand again. "I think the fact we're having this conversation at all means you want to take the chance. You just need the extra push. Abby, my life is full of regrets and things I wish I could have done over. Mostly things that I didn't do that I wish I had. Don't wait until the end of your life and regret all the things you should have done. Think about that."

  Denise patted her hand as she stood up from the table and walked back to the stove, where she resumed cooking. Abby sat for a moment, thinking over what they had discussed, before she went back to her work chopping vegetables.

  Was Ethan worth the risk? That's what it came back to. And if Denise was right, she already knew what she wanted deep down. And she certainly didn't want to look back and have regrets. She already had so many.

  They cooked together over the next half hour, discussing how things were going at the supply store, how Abby liked her new place, and how neither of them could wait for Jesse and Lissa’s babies to arrive. It was a cozy scene, something that felt familiar and comfortable, and Abby realized how much she already felt like part of the Kincade family, part of something larger than herself, and she liked it a lot.

  Growing up in her own home, just her mother and herself, they’d had similar afternoons in the kitchen. Abby marveled that even though she had lost so much, she had gained a lot as well. She had an awesome big brother and a surrogate mother that was there when she needed her. Her relationship with her father was still pretty rocky, but she held out hope that things would work out in time.

  Could she have that same hope with her love life? Maybe she was getting a do-over in more than one area of her life. Watching Ethan rush off to fight a fire had struck terror in her the other night and made her question everything, but after talking with Denise she was starting to think that she might be able to put herself out there and take a risk.

  Now she had to figure out if Ethan felt the same.

  ***

  Ethan lowered himself into his leather recliner and kicked back, propping his hands behind his head and turning the television on, more for background noise than because he had any interest in watching anything. He had already taken care of most of the weekend chores that needed attention. He wasn't due back in the firehouse until Monday night, but he was still exhausted from the surprise call on Friday and planned on taking it easy all afternoon. It had been well into the daylight hours on Saturday before they’d managed to get the fire under control.

  After, he went back to the firehouse and completed the necessary paperwork before coming home and just managing to send off a quick text to Abby before dropping exhausted into bed. He'd only woken a couple hours ago and thought he better send one of his weekly update emails to his parents, who were currently somewhere out at sea on an extended cruise, then he'd done some laundry and made some lunch. Once he completed everything, he thought about going upstairs to say hi to Abby, but when he glanced out the window he saw her headed off in her car. So, he decided to chill a little longer, figuring talking to her would have to wait until later.

  His mind drifted back to Friday night when he'd had to leave her. She was completely understanding, but the worry in her eyes still hung heavy with him. That was exactly the reason that he'd sworn off commitment. There was no way he could ask someone to be a part of his life then constantly have to live in fear of what might happen to him. He also wasn't prepared to give up the lifestyle he led, which only left him with the choice of keeping people at arms’ length.

  But somehow that didn't sit well with him when he thought of Abby. It was crazy. They had only known each other about a week, yet he already couldn’t wait to see her again, talk to her again, kiss her again. It was more than just physical attraction too. Maybe that was what scared him the most.

  There was something about her that made him want to protect her and keep her safe. He could tell from the way she sometimes had that wariness in her eyes that she had seen heartache in her life. He didn't want to be the one to cause more of it for her. But where did that leave them?

  Sighing, he pushed himself up from the recliner and grabbed a ball cap from the coat rack before walking out the front door. He needed to get out of the house and away from these kinds of thoughts. He went for a walk through the park, but that only reminded him of last week when he and Abby had shared their first kiss. He glanced up and caught sight of Cassie's bakery and made his way over. Maybe she would be there by chance? But no, she had left in her car, and Cassie's Confections was closed on Sunday anyway.

  He chastised himself for being so ridiculous. But it seemed that no matter what he did he couldn't get her out of his head. He didn't know how he felt about that. Just as he was about to head back to his apartment and grab his car to take a fast drive through some country roads, hoping to clear his head, his phone buzzed in his back pocket.

  It was a text from Abby. He swiped his finger across the surface of the phone to open the message.

  Hope you got some rest. At dinner with my family. Maybe we can catch each other later if you aren't too tired.

  He stared at the phone, a little surprised. He had been the one who started out pursuing her, yet here she was taking the initiative, just like with that kiss. A slow smile spread across his face. He knew he must look like an idiot, but the fact that she wanted to see him made him irrationally happy.

  "Dude, I think you’ve got it bad," he mumbled to himself.

  But what was he supposed to do about it? He knew that he was getting close to a point of no return with Abby. Even though they'd only just met and had only just gotten to know each other, he knew Abby was an all-in kind of girl.

  At this point he either needed to put a stop to things before they went any fur
ther so they could both avoid any unnecessary hurt. Or he needed to decide if there was a way he could fit Abby in with his lifestyle. He didn't think she was the type of woman who would make him give up his passions, but could she really be okay with the way he thrived on adrenaline and the next big adventure? And was he really ready to explore the possibility of a relationship with somebody? A week ago he would've said no. Now he wasn't so sure. There was just something about her that had gotten to him from day one.

  Sick of over-analyzing it, Ethan's fingers flew over the keys of his phone with a reply.

  Come over when you're done?

  He almost typed I have something I want to talk to you about. Then he realized that sounded ominous. He would just wait until she got there and see how things played out.

  He headed back to his place and decided maybe a little more than the regular weekend chores were in order if Abby was going to see the inside of his apartment for the first time. Since when had he ever cared about cleaning house for a woman's approval? He rolled his eyes and nearly laughed out loud at himself. Yeah, he was already a goner.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Abby stood outside the door of Ethan's apartment, smoothing her hair down and pulling at her shirt. She felt nervous, not just at the prospect of seeing him again after realizing how much she cared for him, but also about what she wanted to talk to him about.

  All through dinner she could barely stay focused on the conversation with her family because she was thinking about what Denise had said and debating with herself about what she should do. She didn't want to look back and regret missing out on something amazing with Ethan.

  The door swung open and there he stood with a smile on his face, looking just as happy to see her as she was to see him. He immediately put her at ease, reaching for her hand and pulling her through the door.

  "Come on in. It's not much, but it works for me."