He also noticed that she’d called the Kincades her parents. That was new.
“Can I come in for a minute? I won’t stay long. I can see that you were just heading out. I don’t want to mess up your plans.” Her face turned a bright shade of red, and he wondered where she thought he was going. Surely she didn’t think out with another woman.
He backed up, making room for her to come in. “Sorry. I just didn’t expect to see you when I opened the door.” Or at all. “I was actually just headed to scrounge up something to eat, so you’ve saved me the trouble. Thanks. It was nice of you to think of me.” He tried to muster up one of his charming smiles, but it fell flat and he sighed instead, turning to take the food to the kitchen.
Suddenly he couldn’t wait for her to leave. Why was she there? Having her this close only made him want to crush her to him and kiss her until she came to her senses and realized they were meant to be together.
“Why are you here, Abby?” he demanded, his voice becoming impatient. He didn’t mean to take out his frustration on her, but what else was he supposed to do? The woman he loved but couldn’t have was in his apartment acting as if they’d never been anything but friends who brought each other dinner.
She jumped, then wrapped her arms around her stomach. “Um, I just wanted to see how you were doing?”
“How I’m doing?” He whirled on her, throwing his hands up in the air. “How do you think I’m doing?” He knew he looked rough. He hadn’t bothered shaving since his last shift a few days ago. “I tell a woman I love her—the only time I’ve ever said that, by the way—and she tells me she doesn’t want me.”
“I never said I didn’t want you, Ethan. That’s the furthest thing from the truth.” She looked stricken.
“Then why aren’t we together now? And don’t give me more crap about you not being able to deal with my life. I’ve had time to think about it, and that’s just an excuse, Abby. An excuse.”
She flinched. “I know,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Too late,” he snapped. He didn’t know why he was being such an ass. He didn’t mean to, but he was tired and brokenhearted and it was coming out all wrong. He raked a hand through his hair and tried to calm down. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m having a bad day and I shouldn’t take it out on you.”
“I’ll just go now. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.” She blinked back tears and turned to go.
“No, Abby, wait,” he called after her. But it was useless. She’d already made it up the stairs by the time he walked outside to catch her. He slammed the door, berating himself for being such an idiot. She’d brought him dinner. She was thinking about him. And he’d pushed her away. He had to pull his act together. He’d been wallowing in self-pity for way too long and he was sick of it. Yeah, he’d never been in love and had his heart broken before, but he was Ethan Barnes. He didn’t just sit by and let life happen to him. He was a man of action.
Abby had made an effort to come see him. Who knew what that could mean? Maybe they still had a chance. If so, he wasn’t going to sit by and watch it slip away.
***
Abby flinched at the sound of Ethan’s door slamming. That hadn’t gone well at all. She hadn’t expected Ethan to be so angry. But could she really blame him? If he cared about her half as much as she cared about him, he had to be hurting.
Abby was disgusted with how selfish she had been. She was so worried about protecting herself that she’d hurt the man she loved. She threw herself down on her bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling.
She’d spent the better part of two weeks trying to figure things out, and tonight she’d finally worked up the courage to talk to him about it. She didn’t know how to do it, but she wanted to be with him. She did know that she was going to have to take a leap of faith before she could regain his trust. She just wanted to know if she still had a chance, and that scene hadn’t gone well at all. It wasn’t promising. She wanted to curl up in a ball and make it all disappear.
She didn’t know how long she lay there trying to tune out the entire world, including her own thoughts, but eventually she became aware of a knock on her door. She got up and answered it, not bothering to look and see who it was first.
She felt just as surprised as he must have earlier when she showed up on his doorstep.
“Can I come in?” He looked about how she felt, his hair sticking up on end from where he had been running his fingers through it.
She stepped back to make room for him to pass through, getting a whiff of his cologne when he brushed by her. She closed her eyes for a minute and let herself enjoy the masculine scent. When she opened them again he was staring at her and she blushed.
“I need to talk to you.”
She nodded.
He looked for a place to sit, then realized she still hadn’t bought any living room furniture, so he came up and gripped her hands tightly in his. “I’m about to tell you something I’ve never talked about before. But I think it’s important for you to understand something. You aren’t the only one who has had their heart crushed, been devastated, and not been able to move on. Abby, I had a baby.”
She gasped, her mouth dropping open. That was the last thing she ever expected to hear him say. But what he had to say next couldn’t be good. He said had, not have. He must have seen the recognition in her eyes because he nodded tersely.
“Yeah. Had.”
“Oh, Ethan. What happened?” Her eyes were already misting up. Losing a parent and a spouse had been hard enough. She couldn’t imagine the pain of losing a child.
“It was my fault.”
The tears fell from her eyes now as she shook her head. “No, I’m sure it wasn’t.”
“Well, the mother blamed me, and I’ve blamed myself too.” He took a ragged breath and closed his eyes as if he were gearing up to unload a huge secret. And that must have been what it was. No one else had mentioned anything about it. He’d kept this inside for all this time? However long it had been.
He looked around again. “Can we sit down for this? I’m exhausted already.”
“I just have my bed.”
“That’ll do.”
She led him into her bedroom—definitely not how she thought that would go down the first time—and they made themselves comfortable on her bed facing each other. He lifted his eyes to hers briefly, then lowered them to his hands clasped in his lap. After a minute he began to talk.
She listened as he told her all about how he and his ex-girlfriend Marissa had dated, but not seriously. How she’d wanted more from him. How she’d begged him to stop all his adventure sports and he’d refused. How she had insisted that she come along on the trip to the mountains. And finally about the tragic accident on the snowmobile that cost them both an unspeakable price for their actions.
When he was done, he had tears on his face. “Abby, nothing has ever hurt me the way losing that child did, even though I didn’t know about it until after the fact.”
“Ethan, you can’t blame yourself for that. You didn’t know! How can you be held accountable for her not telling you? She is the one who got on that snowmobile knowing she was pregnant.” She cupped his face in her hands and made him look her in the eyes. “Please don’t blame yourself for it. It was tragic, yes. But it wasn’t your fault.”
He nodded. “I’ve come to terms with it for the most part, but it’s still hard not to blame myself. I was the one driving. She’d begged me to stop being so wild, to stop taking so many risks. But I didn’t listen. Maybe if I had…”
She moved her hands down to hold his. “You can’t do that. I know first-hand. What if that day on the boat with Derek I had insisted just a little harder that he wear a life jacket? Maybe he’d still be alive. These things happen, but you can’t live your life blaming yourself.”
They sat like that for a while, holding hands, thinking about what the other had said. Finally Abby asked, “Why did you tell me this? Why now?”
; He stared at her. “Because when I met you, I had sworn off relationships. I’d said I would never be in a position again where I had the ability to hurt someone else the way I hurt Marissa. And our child. If I didn’t commit, I could save people from myself. I tried my hardest to stay away from you. I could tell right away you were vulnerable. That you could be easily hurt. And I didn’t want to be that guy that did that to you.”
“But that’s ridiculous, Ethan. You can’t make those choices for other people. For me. I got into this knowing exactly what I was doing. I never asked you to change a thing. And I wouldn’t want you to.”
“I know,” he said, his voice stronger now, his eyes boring into hers, urging her to understand.
Then it clicked. He’d been afraid of hurting her. And he’d been willing to give up whatever she needed him to, even though she would never have asked him to. He loved her enough to do whatever it took to protect her.
But she hadn’t been willing to trust him to do it.
“Oh, Ethan,” she said, tears dampening her eyes again, then she laughed. “You’re going to think I’m the biggest baby in the world with all the crying I’ve done lately.”
He smiled gently. “I told you before. You’re the strongest woman I know. You’ve just had more than your fair share of crap to deal with.”
She had to tell him. “Ethan, I am dealing with it. I want you to know. That’s what I came over to tell you earlier. I’ve spent the last week soul-searching more than I ever have before. I know I have issues. Big ones. But I want to deal with them. I—I want to be with you.” She dropped her eyes. “If you still want me.”
He laughed. “If I still want you? You’re joking, right?”
“Well, I hurt you. I didn’t trust you. I’m so sorry. I was selfish and only wanted to protect myself. I was scared of ending up alone. And look where that got me. Can you ever forgive me?”
“Abby, of course I forgive you. There’s nothing to forgive. You just had to figure this out on your own. It’s not like you’ve had a lot of time to get used to the idea of us. But know this—there’s not a day in my life that I won’t want you with everything within me.”
Her heart nearly swelled to bursting at his words. No one had ever said anything like that to her in her entire life.
But he wasn’t done. “I love you. More than I ever thought I could love another person. I’m here for you. Always. If you’ll let me be.”
He couldn’t have said it more perfectly. That was exactly what she hadn’t done. Let him be there for her. She didn’t have to be alone. But she also didn’t have to be scared of being alone. She’d been there, and she’d survived. But it was crazy to not take the love that was being so passionately given to her because of a bunch of what-ifs.
“I love you too, Ethan. I’ve never loved anyone more. And I’ll let you be anything you want to be for me. I want you. Always. No more fear. No regrets.”
“No regrets,” he echoed, then he kissed her. But this kiss was different; it was a kiss full of promise.
THE END
Thanks for reading Saved by Love! Keep reading and return to Sunset Bay with an excerpt from Sunset Kisses, a Sunset Bay novella that will take you back to the tropical paradise of Sunset Bay Beach Resort. You can get your free copy of Sunset Kisses at www.christinekingsley.com/yourfreebook for a limited time!
You can also check out the first chapter from my upcoming holiday novel at the end of this book.
Happy reading!
CHAPTER ONE
Alexa Roberts awoke with a start at the sound of a knock on her hotel room door.
“Just a minute,” she called, trying to get her bearings. She shook her head, still fuzzy from the night before, and headed into the bathroom. It was probably one of the bridesmaids coming to get her on the way down to breakfast.
Her sister Cara had wanted Alexa to stay in one of the suites with her other bridesmaids, but she had opted for one of the cheaper hotel rooms in an attempt to save money. Cara and her friends didn’t seem to understand the idea of sticking to a budget.
Now that her head was clearing, she looked around more carefully and blinked. This was one of the most elaborate bathrooms she had ever seen. Marble floors, a walk in shower with more nozzles than one person needed, and a bathtub raised on a platform that was large enough to bathe both of her German Shepherds at once.
Her hands flew to her mouth. This was not her hotel room. Surely this was Cara's room, or perhaps one of the other bridesmaids'. She went back into the bedroom and turned on a lamp, illuminating the extravagant decor. She tried to find an explanation, but knew this was absolutely not one of the girls' rooms. She’d been in Cara’s room, and while she knew her sister’s friends enjoyed the finer things in life, she also knew none of them could have afforded this type of luxury. Not with the cost of the weekend trip to New Orleans being only a week before their sojourn to Florida for Cara’s wedding.
The only other explanation then was… No, no, no, this cannot be happening. She had not spent the night with a stranger. She had never done anything like that before. But more terrifyingly, she couldn't remember any of it. She wracked her brain trying to come up with what had happened the night before. She remembered going to Bourbon Street with the others and hitting up a couple of bars, but she'd only had a couple of drinks, and they had been spaced a fair amount of time apart.
Alexa jumped at the sound of a low male voice. “Everything okay in there?” What was she going to do? She was trapped in this room with a virtual stranger on the other side. A stranger she had apparently spent the night with. She was going to kill Cara when she got out of this mess. Unbelievable. She couldn’t even count on her sister to watch out for her.
She stood there, debating what to do next until there was another soft rap on the door. Now what? There was no escape, so she figured she might as well face him and get it over with. Summoning up every spare bit of strength and confidence she could muster, she tossed her deep brown hair behind her and strode to the door and yanked it open.
Alexa wasn't sure what she had expected, but it most certainly wasn't this. Before her stood the most delicious specimen of male she had ever laid eyes on. Her already foggy brain slowed down even more as she stared. This man could have been a Greek god. Or an underwear model at the very least. He was at least six feet tall, his slightly longish brown hair falling across his forehead as he looked down at her with warm chocolate eyes. Her mouth went even dryer than before when her eyes trailed to his muscled abdomen. All he was wearing were cotton pajama pants.
She was absolutely right. She hadn’t spent the night with a complete stranger. She’d spent it with the one man she’d spent the past four years doing everything in her power to avoid.
“Good morning, Alexa.”
Will Townsend, playboy extraordinaire. The penultimate heartbreaker. He said something else, but she couldn’t hear it over the buzzing in her ears as she tried to figure out how in the hell this had happened. She shook her head in an attempt to clear it, but the movement made her dizzy and she closed her eyes as she swayed, gripping the door frame for balance.
"Whoa there, take it easy." He slipped an arm around her and guided her toward the plush couch. "I ordered breakfast if you'd like something. Tea? Coffee?"
"Um, coffee I guess," she mumbled. She sat down and rubbed her temples, trying her hardest to remember something, anything. Nope. Nothing.
What was Will doing there? It had been a girls’ weekend. A bachelorette trip. And she’d wound up in his hotel room? It didn’t make sense.
He handed her a piping hot mug then sat down opposite her on a chair, his own coffee cradled in his hands. He leaned back casually as if this encounter were completely normal. As if the past four years were but a blip in time and they were having a regular conversation.
"How do you feel this morning?" He studied her with an unreadable expression on his face. "You were quite an adventure last night."
Was he serious? She sat upright,
nearly sloshing hot coffee all over her lap. "Excuse me? You have some nerve." So she was right then? They’d actually spent the night together? She grew more and more indignant as he simply smirked.
"I mean, you were very... Well, anyway, I'm sure you have a hell of a hangover. I hope you at least rested well."
What was with this him? He was thoughtful enough to get coffee for her and be concerned about the quality of her sleep, but not considerate enough to think twice about taking advantage of her in her apparently inebriated state? This was too much. She slammed her mug down on the glass table top and jumped up, hands on her hips, angry now.
"You hope I rested well? I wouldn't know. I don't remember a thing from last night. This is so typical of you, Will, bringing a woman back to your room who was in no state to make a rational decision about it? If I had been in my right mind, there is no way I would ever have spent the night with you! You should be ashamed, yet here you are ready to have a conversation over breakfast?"
He stared at her open-mouthed while she gave him a piece of her mind. She barely registered the look of confusion on his face as she stomped back toward the bedroom. It was time to get the hell out of there. Just as she was about to slam the door, his voice stopped her in her tracks.
"You don't remember anything from last night?" he asked carefully. His face was guarded.
"Nothing. As far as I know, this morning is the first time I've ever laid eyes on you in four years!"
His eyes widened and he stood slowly and started to take a step toward her.
"No, no. You stay right there. I'm changing and getting out of here." Before he could say another word she whirled and slammed the bedroom door.
***Thanks for checking out Sunset Kisses! Don’t forget to grab your free copy at www.christinekingsley.com/yourfreebook today!***
Please enjoy the following preview of the upcoming holiday novel Home for Christmas by Christine Kingsley.
Saved by Love Page 13
