Ruby

by Heather Burnside

  ‘Jesus! You don’t think they’ll throw you out for coming in late, do you?’

  ‘Nah. They’re always giving me grief, but I think they’re secretly scared of me walking out too. I can tell they miss our Shelley.’

  ‘Is it the first time you’ve seen her since she left?’

  ‘No, I’ve bumped into her a couple of times. Once she sent me a message to meet her in town so I did, but that was months ago.’

  ‘How does she manage?’ asked Trina.

  Nicole looked around her to make sure nobody was listening then she whispered, ‘She’s on the game.’

  ‘What?’ asked Trina. Then a flash of Nicole’s eyes told her she had heard correctly and she added, ‘You’re joking!’

  ‘No,’ said Nicole, grinning.

  ‘Jesus! I wonder what it’s like,’ said Trina.

  ‘Fuckin’ awful from what she’s told me. I mean, she gets loads of dosh. Some of ’em buy her clothes and perfume. One even bought her a gold chain but she has to put up with a lot of pervy clients too.’

  ‘How d’you mean?’ asked Trina.

  ‘Dirty old bastards that want her to do all sorts. You wouldn’t catch me doing what she does.’

  ‘How did she get into it?’ asked Trina, fascinated.

  ‘I don’t know; you’d have to ask her,’ Nicole replied sharply as though she was growing bored of Trina’s questions.

  ‘I can’t believe it. You wouldn’t think she was the type, would you?’

  ‘What do you mean?’ asked Nicole with a note of irritation in her tone.

  ‘Well, she’s really pretty. I thought they were all supposed to be old slappers.’

  ‘Fuckin’ hell, Trina. Why you so interested in our Shelley? Anyone would think you fancied her or summat.’

  Nicole’s words hit Trina like a slap in the face, and she recoiled. Was it really that obvious? She hoped not. But Nicole seemed to interpret her reaction as offence and she played down the comment.

  ‘Sorry, I was only joking,’ she said, grinning at Trina.

  ‘I was only interested,’ said Trina. ‘I’ve never come across anyone who does that before.’

  ‘You mean a tart,’ said Nicole, cynically.

  Trina shrugged. ‘That sounds bad. She’s probably only doing it because she needs the money.

  ‘Whatever,’ said Nicole and Trina got the feeling that her friend wanted to end the conversation.

  She was a bit annoyed by Nicole’s attitude and normally she would have faced her with it. But her embarrassment stopped her from doing so. The comment about her fancying Shelley was made flippantly but Trina didn’t want Nicole to know that she had actually hit on the truth.

  Trina was curious about Shelley. She was at an age where she wanted to find out about life in all its sordid detail and the fact that she had a crush on Shelley intrigued her even more. To her mind, Shelley was bold and fearless as well as stunning. Instead of doing what her parents demanded of her, she was making her own way in life, and the fact that she earned a lot of money doing it made Trina eager and determined to find out more.

  *

  It was over a week before they saw Shelley in the park again. Trina and Nicole were both delighted to see her. Determined to conceal her discomfort at the attraction she felt, Trina joined in with Nicole and Shelley’s conversation. When Nicole’s latest boyfriend came to find her, it was obvious to Trina and Shelley that she wanted some time alone with him.

  ‘It’s alright,’ said Shelley. ‘I don’t mind if you want to be with him. I’ve got to go anyway.’

  Seizing her opportunity to find out more about Shelley, Trina said, ‘Which way are you walking? I’ll come with you.’

  They left the park, Trina walking keenly alongside Shelley. ‘Have you got to go to work?’ she asked when they were on their way out of the gate.

  ‘Yeah. Well, I don’t have to really but I’d miss the money if I didn’t,’ she said. Then she added casually. ‘I suppose our Nicole told you what I do.’

  ‘Yeah,’ said Trina. ‘But I’m not arsed.’ She then thought about her clumsy wording and said. ‘I mean, it doesn’t bother me. I wouldn’t hold it against you, not like some people.’

  Shelley laughed. ‘Glad to hear it,’ she said, and Trina couldn’t help but feel that she was somehow being patronised.

  She felt awkward carrying on the conversation, worried she might have offended Shelley but then curiosity prompted her to delve further.

  ‘What’s it like?’ she asked, hoping Shelley didn’t mind her probing.

  ‘It’s OK,’ said Shelley, candidly. ‘People make out that it’s bad but it isn’t really. Most of the clients are alright. I earn loads of money and some of them even buy me presents. One guy bought me a gold chain and he keeps asking me to go on a cruise with him.’

  ‘Would you?’ said Trina, fascinated.

  ‘No, not with him,’ laughed Shelley. ‘He’s an ugly old bastard. Besides, I could be earning shedloads from my other clients instead of going on some boring boat trip with him.’

  ‘Does it not bother you, going with blokes that are ugly?’

  ‘Nah, at the end of the day it’s not about fancying the clients. It’s about what you can get out of it. I have had a couple of fit ones though.’

  ‘Really?’ asked Trina.

  ‘Yeah, but you don’t get many of them. Most of ’em are old and fat. Like I said, it’s more about what you can get out of it, and I need the money to pay my rent and bills.’

  ‘Does it cost a lot to live on your own?’

  ‘Yeah. Well, I’ve got a two-bedroomed flat so until I can get someone to flat share, I have to find all the money myself.’

  Trina stared in awe at Shelley, mesmerised, not only by her but by her lifestyle. She was so matter-of-fact about what she did, and made it sound like a viable option. Trina had previously thought that a prostitute’s life was the lowest of the low but listening to Shelley made her realise that it wasn’t so bad after all. Having listened to what Shelley had to say, Trina now saw it as a good opportunity to make easy money, and she was impressed.

  28

  April–May 1998

  ‘Are you fuckin’ serious?’ yelled Nicole when Trina told her about her idea.

  ‘Deadly,’ said Trina, nonchalant. ‘Why not? I sleep with boys anyway so why not get paid for it? It’s not like I’ve got anything else lined up for when I leave school, is it?’

  ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about,’ said Nicole. ‘Some of those men are bad bastards. They can hurt you. Our Shelley had a black eye once when she came to meet me.’

  ‘Pffft. What’s a black eye?’ said Trina. ‘It’s nothing.’

  ‘But some of them rape her as well.’

  Trina laughed. ‘How can they have raped her? That’s what they fuckin’ pay for, innit?’

  A look of confusion flashed across Nicole’s face and Trina could see that she wasn’t able to back up her argument.

  ‘They’re ugly as well,’ she quickly added when she couldn’t think of anything else to say.

  ‘Yeah, I know. Well, most of them are. You do get some fit ones though.’

  Trina didn’t reveal all her thoughts; that it made no difference whether they were good looking or not because she felt no desire for men anyway.

  ‘You seem to fuckin’ know plenty,’ Nicole continued. ‘I suppose our Shelley has put you up to this, has she? Wait till I fuckin’ see her!’

  ‘No, she hasn’t. It was my own idea but I asked her about it. She earns loads of money and gets presents bought for her.’

  ‘But it’s not fuckin’ worth it!’ said Nicole. ‘Imagine the name you’ll get for yourself. You should hear what the rest of my family say about our Shelley.’

  ‘Do you think I give a fuck about that?’ asked Trina. ‘They won’t know anyway. You don’t think I’m telling my mam, do you? She’d have a fit.’

  For a few moments neither of them spoke. Trina’s mind drifted to though
ts of all the men in her life and her negative view of them – her absent father and lecherous landlord, and her patronising cousins who always seemed to have plenty of money. Well, she’d show them! Why should she care about any of them? She’d soon be able to afford nice things too. Trina had found the perfect way to use men for her own gain and no matter what anybody said she was determined to go ahead.

  Eventually Nicole spoke. ‘Where will you do it?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well, where will you take the men? Where will you live?’

  ‘Your Shelley needs a flatmate to help her pay the rent. I’m gonna ask her if I can move in next time we see her.’

  Nicole scowled. ‘I might have fuckin’ known! My mam and dad are right about her, she’s nothing but trouble; and you don’t know what you’re letting yourself in for.’

  ‘For fuck’s sake, Nicole, chill! It’ll be fine. In fact, I’ll let you know what you’re missing. When you see all my cash, maybe you’ll want a piece of the action too.’

  ‘No fuckin’ chance! You can stick your money where the sun don’t shine.’

  Nicole’s hostile words put an end to the conversation and they continued to walk along the school corridors in silence until they reached the science labs for their next lesson. But while they remained silent, Trina’s mind was running wild with thoughts of the glamorous lifestyle she was about to embark upon.

  Living away from home would be great. She’d be treated like an adult at last instead of having to take orders from her mother. Trina dreamt about the wads of cash she could earn and the nice things she could buy for herself; clothes, perfume and makeup. She could wave goodbye to her pain-in-the-arse brothers, come and go as she pleased and eat and drink whatever she liked.

  But the thing about her new life that appealed to her most of all was the opportunity to share it with the desirable Shelley. And despite all Nicole’s dire warnings, Trina couldn’t wait.

  *

  ‘What do you mean, you’re moving out?’ asked Daisy, in shock.

  ‘What I said. I’m moving out. Tomorrow,’ said Trina.

  ‘By the heavens above you’ll do no such thing!’

  ‘Too late, I’m already doing it.’

  Daisy glared at her daughter. ‘Now you listen to me, child! You’re barely sixteen. How do you think you’ll survive out there? It’s a harsh world. Look at me, having to hold down two jobs just to make ends meet. And who’s going to keep an eye on the boys while I’m working at the pub?’

  ‘Not my problem,’ muttered Trina.

  ‘I beg your pardon?’

  Trina rounded on her mother. ‘What I said. Why should I have to watch out for them all the time?’

  ‘Because the money from the cleaning job isn’t enough. Do you really think I’d be working in a pub if I could help it?’

  ‘That’s up to you. It’s got nowt to do with me. I won’t be here so they’ll have to look after themselves. I’m sick of getting roped in to help with everything. How come I’m the only one who does any housework, anyway?’

  ‘Don’t you dare speak to me like that! You’re not the only one who does any housework.’ Daisy snapped. It might have escaped your attention, Trina, but I work damn hard to keep a nice home for you and your brothers.’

  ‘Yeah, and so do I. And what do they do? Nothing!’

  ‘Now you listen to me. I won’t have you leaving this house, not over my dead body! You’re underage anyway. And what will you do? Where will you live? I don’t suppose you’ve thought of any of that, have you?’

  Trina smiled smugly. ‘Yes, I have. I’m moving in my friend’s flat with her.’

  Daisy tutted, her expression one of indignation. ‘And who is this friend? What’s her name?’

  ‘She’s just a friend, no one you know.’

  Daisy eyed her daughter warily. ‘I hope you’re not moving in with some boy!’

  ‘No, course I’m not. It’s a girl.’

  ‘And who’s paying the bills on this flat?’

  ‘Both of us.’

  ‘With what? You can’t live on thin air, Trina.’

  ‘I know that!’ Trina snapped. ‘She’s got me a job at her place.’ She noticed the inquisitive expression on her mother’s face and swiftly added, ‘It’s a restaurant in town. I’m gonna be a waitress.’

  This seemed to silence Daisy for a while and she strode across the room then plonked herself down in her armchair. After a few seconds deep in thought, she continued.

  ‘Why can’t you stay at home and do this waitressing job?’

  ‘Because I don’t want to. I’m sick of it here. All I ever seem to do is look out for them lot,’ she said nodding towards her brothers’ bedroom, ‘and help out in the house. I want more, Mam.’

  ‘Heaven’s above, Trina!’ said Daisy, becoming distraught now. ‘Do you not think I’ve got enough to deal with, without having to worry about you too?’

  ‘You don’t need to worry. I’ll be fine.’ Trina crossed the room to where her mother was sitting then placed a conciliatory hand on her shoulder. ‘I’ll still come to see you.’

  ‘Well, perhaps I should be coming to see you too. Where is this flat?’

  ‘I’ll ring you with the address once I’m settled in,’ said Trina. Then she shut down the conversation by leaving the room.

  The following morning Daisy had calmed down a bit. She tried again to dissuade Trina from leaving but this time her tone was softer. Eventually she seemed to resign herself to the fact that her daughter was definitely going. As Trina struggled down the stairs carrying her school bag and an assortment of carrier bags filled with clothes and other items, her mother eyed her through tear-filled eyes. She tutted as Trina dropped one of the bags, spilling its contents, then plonked the others at the foot of the stairs while she picked everything back up.

  ‘Is that any way to live?’ Daisy asked. ‘You’ve got a perfectly good home here and yet you’re living out of carrier bags.’

  ‘It’s only till I get there. I’ll have my own room with a wardrobe and chest of drawers,’ Trina said proudly.

  ‘This sounds like one hell of a generous friend. Are you sure there isn’t some catch?’

  ‘No!’ Trina replied, but she could feel herself flushing slightly. She quickly began arranging her bags in the hallway to divert her mother’s attention then said, ‘Can I ring a taxi?’

  ‘I suppose you’ll have to with all those bags to carry,’ said Daisy.

  Daisy didn’t offer to let Trina use her battered old suitcase and Trina didn’t bother asking. It was partly because she didn’t want to push her luck even further, but also because she wanted to prove her independence. Neither did Daisy offer to help with her bags, but Trina knew she wouldn’t. Why would she help her leave when she didn’t want her to go?

  The taxi soon arrived and, despite her resolve, Trina could feel herself becoming emotional. She bit back the tears as she hugged her mother and promised to get in touch as soon as possible. Then she was inside the cab. As she looked out of the window at her old family home, a feeling of excitement shot through her. She’d done it! She’d left home and set out on her own, venturing confidently and unaware into her new life.

  29

  July 2007

  It was Ruby and Tiffany’s night off and they had decided to stay home and chill. Normally, as they ate their Chinese takeaway and sipped wine they would have been feeling relaxed. But not tonight.

  It was almost three weeks since the landlord had served notice on them and they were no nearer to finding anywhere to live. With the threat of eviction looming they had started to pack up their stuff but their attempts were half-hearted. It was hard to decide what to take when you didn’t know where you would end up or whether you would even have a home.

  Ruby had lost count of the number of places they had viewed since the landlord had served notice on them. But none of the properties were suitable. They were either too small, too run down or in residential areas where th
ey would attract too much attention. She had been right; finding a property suitable for a whorehouse wasn’t easy.

  The situation was also putting a strain on their relationship. Ruby hadn’t realised just how much Tiffany relied on her to sort things out. In the past she had always been able to come up with a solution to most problems, but now even Ruby with her strength of character couldn’t conjure up a suitable property.

  Tiffany put down her knife and fork and slid her empty plate across the dining table then took a slug of the wine. ‘What are we gonna do, Rubes?’

  Ruby shrugged. ‘I dunno. Well, I know what you’ll do but the bastard doesn’t want me, does he?’

  Ruby was referring to one of Tiffany’s clients who had offered to put her up if she didn’t find anywhere to live, which had caused a massive argument between her and Ruby. She knew she had overreacted to the situation, but it was due to the strain they were under.

  Tiffany reached out and placed her hand on top of Ruby’s. ‘Aw, Rubes, please don’t start that again. I’m sorry I mentioned it now. I told you I don’t want to go anywhere without you but, you never know, I might be able to persuade him to take you in too. But if that doesn’t happen, maybe we could squat somewhere. I know someone who…’

  ‘And what would we do with all our nice stuff?’ snapped Ruby. ‘We can’t take it to a fuckin’ squat with us, can we?’

  ‘OK, it’s only a suggestion. It’s not my fault we’re in the shit, Rubes. I’m only trying to help. Besides, if push comes to shove you can always go back to your mam’s.’

  ‘Yeah, without you. And what d’you reckon my mother would think if I brought you round to meet her? She could hardly introduce you to her church friends as my lesbian girlfriend, could she?’

  Despite her angst about their situation, Ruby managed a slight grin as she thought about the shocked reaction of the congregation at the church her mother attended.