Ruby

by Heather Burnside

  When the car stopped the man said, ‘Are you new to this patch?’

  Trina glanced across at him. ‘Yes,’ she said, but she didn’t reveal that it was her first time.

  ‘Press the button on that side for the seat to go back,’ he said, and Trina followed his instructions, noticing her skirt ride up even further as she shot back. Again, she felt panic stirring within her but before she had chance to react the man was on top of her unfastening his flies. She quickly passed him a condom.

  It was soon over and Trina felt relief as the man climbed off her, pulled up his trousers and passed her the money. While he was occupied, she slipped her briefs back on and it wasn’t long before he threw the used condom out of the car window then started the engine.

  ‘Do you want dropping back where you were?’ he asked.

  ‘Yeah,’ said Trina, keeping her eyes on the road again till she got back to her spot then opened the car door and jumped out.

  Once Trina was back on the pavement, she noticed how much her legs were trembling. She felt tears in her eyes but she fought them back, unable to understand why she was so upset. This was what she had wanted after all. And it wasn’t that bad. No different from the boys at school really except the man was older and he’d paid her.

  Now she’d had her first client, packing it in wasn’t an option as far as Trina was concerned. What else would she do to earn so much money? And she needed to earn money to carry on living with Shelley. Where else would she go? She dreaded the thought of going back home to a life like her mother’s, full of drudgery and menial, low-paid jobs.

  Then she thought again of the money. She’d done it! She’d just got paid twenty-five pounds for five minutes work. Trina’s hand closed around the bunch of notes in her pocket. It was a long time since she’d had twenty-five pounds all to herself, and the thought of earning even more urged her on. Ignoring her trembling legs and persistent nervousness she looked out at the road, noticing the cars passing by, and waited for her next client.

  The night was a revelation. Each time a car pulled up Trina would feel a fresh surge of trepidation but she pushed herself on, thinking of the money and her new-found freedom. The clients varied in looks. Their attitudes varied as well. Most of them were alright with her but she had one that talked down to her and was a bit rough.

  She soon got used to the drill; she’d ask the client what service he wanted then agree a price with him before she got in the car. During that time she would size up the client and make sure she was comfortable about going off with him.

  Trina hoped to catch sight of Shelley again, knowing she’d draw comfort from seeing a friendly, familiar face but she only saw her once and they didn’t have chance to talk much before a car pulled up and Shelley got inside. But as the night drew on Trina became less nervous and finally, in the early hours of the morning, she decided she’d had enough for the night and made her way back to Shelley’s.

  *

  When Trina arrived at the flat it was empty; Shelley wasn’t home yet. The first thing Trina did was to take out the money and count it. She’d been keeping a mental note of how much she’d earnt until she’d lost count. Now, as she counted the notes in her hands, she felt a rush of excitement. £155 for one night’s work!

  Trina was delighted and all the angst of the night quickly evaporated as she dreamt of how she would spend the cash. She was already getting used to this way of life and the sense of satisfaction at the end of the night when she’d earnt her wad.

  It wasn’t long before Shelley arrived home. ‘Well, how was it?’ she asked. ‘Did anyone give you any grief?’

  ‘Not too bad,’ said Trina. ‘There was one guy who was a bit of a dick, but he didn’t bother me too much.’ Then she waved her cash, ‘Look, I got £155.’

  ‘Well done,’ said Shelley. ‘There’ll be plenty more where that came from. That’s if you want to carry on.’

  ‘Yeah, course I do.’

  Shelley smiled. ‘Well, in that case, I think we should have a celebration.’

  Shelley opened the plastic bag she had been carrying and pulled out a bottle of champagne.

  ‘Wow! Have you just been and bought that?’ asked Trina.

  ‘No, my last client gave it to me. He’s got a bit of a thing for me so he likes to bring presents.’

  Trina laughed. ‘Aah, bless him,’ she said and for a few seconds they both giggled till Shelley pulled two glasses from the cupboard and filled them up.

  ‘To us,’ she said, chinking her glass against Trina’s.

  Trina liked the sound of those words and she felt content. This was where her future lay; with the delectable Shelley, making shedloads of money and buying all the things she’d ever wanted to buy.

  They stayed up for a couple of hours, chatting, sharing amusing stories about their clients and taking coke. Despite Trina’s earlier trepidation she didn’t think she’d ever felt so happy. She didn’t particularly like selling herself to strange men, but she knew she could cope with it in view of the rewards. Not only did she have freedom and money but she also got to live with Shelley who she was becoming increasingly drawn towards.

  34

  June 1998

  Daisy stood with her arms folded, looking down at her daughter who was occupying the sofa in her living room. ‘What I don’t understand,’ she said, ‘is why you can’t tell me where you live. It’s been weeks now since you left home and I’ve still not been to see where you’re staying.’

  ‘Aw, Mam, not that again!’ said Trina.

  ‘Don’t you Aw Mam me,’ snapped Daisy, to which Trina shrugged in response. Then Daisy added, ‘What’s the problem with where you’re living anyway?’

  ‘I told you, there’s no problem. I just don’t want you interfering.’

  ‘But I worry about you, child,’ said Daisy, her tone now conciliatory. ‘You’re so young to be living on your own. I don’t know why you couldn’t stay here till you’re older…’

  ‘I don’t live on my own,’ Trina cut in. ‘I share a flat with Shelley and she’s eighteen.’

  ‘Don’t split hairs with me, Trina. You know what I mean. Anyway, eighteen is still very young.’

  Trina shrugged again but Daisy wasn’t finished. ‘Well, if you won’t let me come and visit you at home, you could at least tell me the name of the restaurant where you work,’ she said.

  ‘No chance!’ said Trina. ‘You’d only embarrass me. You’d probably bring that lot with you as well.’ She looked upwards, indicating her brothers who were upstairs.

  ‘You mean your brothers?’ asked Daisy. ‘They’re your own flesh and blood, Trina.’

  ‘Yeah, don’t I know it,’ muttered Trina.

  ‘I beg your pardon, child.’

  ‘Nothing,’ said Trina, ‘but you know what they’re like. They’d probably be running wild around the restaurant and showing me up.’

  Daisy sighed before relenting. ‘I don’t know, you won’t tell me where you live or where you work. How can you expect me not to worry? But, at least you’re here now so I suppose I should be grateful for small mercies.’

  Trina felt a pang of guilt. It was only the second time she’d visited home in the six weeks since she’d left but it was difficult to fit it into her busy life. Most of her evenings were spent working till the early hours or out enjoying herself, and the days were spent sleeping off the late nights. And when she wasn’t working, or out having fun, there was always something that needed attending to. Shopping. Washing. Cleaning.

  A quick glance around her mother’s living room told her that her mother hadn’t been keeping on top of her own cleaning since she had left home. Trina again felt guilty even though she told herself that it wasn’t her responsibility. But, no matter how much she tried to brush it off, she knew it was a sign that her mother was finding it difficult without her. Daisy was a house-proud woman and she wouldn’t let dust and grime gather in her home unless she couldn’t help it.

  Trina thought of how it had been w
ith her mother struggling to hold down two jobs and relying on her to keep her brothers in order and help out in the home. She knew that as well as having all the household chores, Daisy would also be finding it difficult financially. She always had.

  Feeling remorseful, Trina reached inside her handbag and pulled out fifty pounds. ‘Here,’ she said, holding out the notes, ‘have this.’

  Daisy looked at her with an expression of surprise. ‘Lord above! Where on earth did you get that from?’

  ‘From working. Where do you think? I want you to have it.’

  Daisy continued to eye her sceptically. ‘But you’re only a waitress. You can’t possibly afford to give that much away.’

  ‘It’s fine,’ Trina scoffed. ‘I get loads of tips. It’s a posh restaurant. We get some rich people in there.’

  Daisy didn’t hesitate for much longer. ‘Well, as long as you’re alright with it,’ she said, reaching out for the money then placing it in a jar inside the cupboard. ‘Thank you, Trina. That’s very good of you,’ she added. Then she went over to Trina and wrapped her arms around her, holding her tight for precious moments.

  Trina’s face lit up with a satisfied smile and she decided that she would make the effort to visit her mother more often in future.

  *

  When Trina arrived back home, Shelley was in the bathroom. Trina couldn’t resist going into her own bedroom and stepping over to the dressing table she had recently bought for herself. There she opened up a small jewellery box and pulled out her gold and ruby necklace. For the umpteenth time since she had treated herself to it, she put it on and admired herself in her dressing table mirror. The ruby was pear-shaped and held in a gold clasp and it glistened under the bedroom light.

  Trina knew she’d rarely have chance to wear the necklace. It was too risky wearing it for work; there were too many muggers hanging about late at night. Neither would she be likely to go to the sorts of places where she would wear a ruby necklace. But, nevertheless, she’d had to have it. As soon as she’d seen it in the jeweller’s window, she knew she would buy it. And why shouldn’t she? After all, she deserved some reward for the work she did.

  In the last six weeks Trina had become used to the job. She didn’t like it; in fact, a lot of the clients made her skin crawl and she hated what she had to do with them. But she loved the rewards. It was so good to be able to treat herself; she’d spent enough years going without. Apart from the ruby necklace, she’d bought herself new clothes and makeup and was steadily improving the state of her bedroom.

  Trina also enjoyed flat sharing with Shelley. She was good company and they often had a drink together and a laugh, as well as a snort of cocaine before they went out to work.

  When it came to looking after the flat, Trina did most of the tasks, but it was her own choice. Being used to doing housework for her mother, Trina had become house-proud and she accepted that Shelley perhaps just wasn’t made that way. But what Shelley lacked in housekeeping skills she more than made up for in other ways. Trina was mesmerised by her and loved being in her company.

  While she was in the bedroom Trina decided to check through her money. It was something she often did, enjoying the feel of it in her hands and the knowledge that it was all hers to spend as she pleased. As she counted through it she was surprised, because she’d thought she had £10 more. She checked again to make sure. No, there was definitely £10 less than she had thought.

  Then Shelley appeared at the bedroom door and Trina brushed off her concerns about the money. Perhaps she had spent more than she realised. Shelley was fresh out of the shower, wearing only her underwear, with her hair still wet. Droplets of water had trickled onto her black see-through bra, making it even more see-through in places where the moist material clung to her naked flesh. Shelley often walked round the flat wearing only her underwear; it was another of the things Trina liked about living with her.

  ‘What do you fancy for tea?’ asked Shelley.

  Trina grinned salaciously, but kept her true thoughts to herself. ‘We could have some pizzas out of the freezer if you like.’

  ‘Yeah,’ said Shelley. ‘That’ll be good. Then we can have a quick snort before we go to work.’

  Trina smiled and made her way to the kitchen to pre-heat the oven while Shelley finished getting ready. The sight of Shelley in her flimsy underwear had side-tracked her, driving all thoughts of the missing money out of her mind for now.

  35

  June 1998

  Trina and Shelley were having a night off. Having treated themselves to a meal in a nice Italian restaurant followed by a few drinks, they were now back at the flat and were both feeling merry.

  ‘Fancy some Charlie?’ asked Shelley.

  Trina nodded and for a few minutes they indulged in some cocaine. She was on a high as she and Shelley again exchanged stories about clients, and laughed raucously.

  ‘There’s one of ’em that’s a right weirdo,’ said Trina. ‘He spends ages just feeling my legs before he gets down to it. I have to keep reminding him that he’s only paid for a fuck.’

  Shelley laughed. ‘Some of ’em are like that. It all depends what turns ’em on. He’s obviously a leg man and you have got really nice legs.’

  ‘Aw, thanks,’ said Trina, smiling. Because of the drugs and drink she was feeling bolder than usual as she added, ‘You’ve got nice everything.’

  She gazed intensely at Shelley who was sitting to the side of her on the sofa, with just a small gap between them. Shelley didn’t seem uncomfortable at the intensity of Trina’s gaze. Instead she smiled back and said, ‘So have you.’

  ‘Yeah, sure,’ said Trina. ‘That’s why you get all the clients.’

  ‘Heh,’ said Shelley. ‘You get your fair share and don’t forget I have my regulars. Once you’ve been at it a bit longer you’ll build up your regulars too. You’ve probably already got some.’

  Trina shrugged. ‘A few,’ she said, noncommittally.

  ‘Seriously,’ said Shelley. ‘You’re a good-looking girl, Trina. Don’t put yourself down.’

  ‘Aw, thanks,’ said Trina again.

  Shelley’s eyes never left her and for a few moments Trina gazed back, neither of them saying anything. Trina was still feeling the effects of the coke. She felt high, full of energy and confident, and Shelley’s compliments were adding to her feelings of euphoria. She had an urge to speak and break down the wall that seemed to stand between them.

  ‘You’re gorgeous,’ she said, shuffling nearer to Shelley, and gazing longingly into her eyes. ‘I’ve thought it ever since the first time I saw you.’

  ‘Thanks,’ said Shelley, her state of intoxication smothering any discomfort she would normally have felt at such an ardent declaration. Instead she gently patted Trina on the shoulder to acknowledge the compliment.

  This was all the encouragement Trina needed and, as Shelley continued to stare back at her, Trina leant forward until her lips were touching Shelley’s. They began to kiss, Trina feeling Shelley’s lips move in time with her own, and she placed her hand on the back of Shelley’s head, gently running her fingers lovingly through her hair. Then Shelley stopped and abruptly pulled away as though she had just come to her senses.

  ‘What the fuck are you playing at?’ she yelled.

  She jumped up from the sofa and Trina noticed that her face was a mask of fury. ‘But I thought it was what you wanted,’ she said, already feeling her face flush with shame.

  ‘Was it fuck! I ain’t no lesbo,’ Shelley shouted.

  This was a side to Shelley that Trina had never seen. In her mind she had built her up into something almost godlike. But now her anger contorted her attractive features until she didn’t even look like the same girl. Trina was confused and embarrassed. ‘But you kissed me back,’ she implored.

  ‘No I fuckin’ didn’t! I didn’t even realise what was happening. I thought we were just mates. And then you go and do summat like that!’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ said Trina. ‘I hon
estly thought you felt the same. I’m sorry,’ she repeated. ‘I promise it won’t happen again.’

  ‘It better fuckin’ hadn’t do,’ said Shelley. ‘Because if it does, you’ll be out on your fuckin’ arse and your feet won’t touch the ground.’

  Trina got up off the sofa and dashed to her room, muttering her apologies repeatedly as tears of humiliation stung her eyes. When she reached her room, she flung herself on her bed and gave way to her sorrow.

  Shelley’s threats hadn’t bothered her. Under any other circumstances she would have retaliated and let Shelley know she wouldn’t be pushed around. But this was different. Trina was feeling rejected and bewildered as well as humiliated. In her eagerness to have Shelley for her own she had misread the signals, and she cursed herself for her foolishness.

  *

  The following morning, they had a serious talk. Trina felt mortified as Shelley asked, ‘How could you have got the impression that there was anything between us other than mates?’

  ‘Dunno. Like I say, it won’t happen again.’ Trina hung her head in shame.

  ‘Right, well what’s happened has happened. Don’t worry, you can still stay… as long as you don’t fuckin’ do anything like that again.’

  Trina looked up coyly. ‘No, course I won’t; not now I know the score.’

  ‘OK. Well I think we need some rules if you’re staying here.’ Shelley paused, giving Trina time to take in her words before she continued. ‘From now on we both need to keep covered up in front of each other. If you need to come into my bedroom for anything while I’m there you need to knock first so I can make sure I’m dressed. I’ll do the same for you too. Oh, and the bathroom door needs to be locked whenever one of us is using it.’

  Trina agreed to all Shelley’s requests, but she just wanted the conversation to be over as soon as possible. It felt as though Shelley was enjoying prolonging her discomfort.

  She didn’t want to leave the flat. Trina still had mixed feelings about Shelley and was upset that she’d ruined everything between them. But it was apparent from Shelley’s anger and her expression of scorn that things would never be the same between them from this day onwards.