THE TYNESIDE SAGAS: Box set of three dramatic and emotional stories: A Handful of Stars, Chasing the Dream and For Love & Glory

by Janet MacLeod Trotter

  ‘That’s all in the past, Millie,’ he declared. ‘You’ve got to live for the future. Always look forward, not back, I say.’

  As they strolled arm in arm along the street, Millie dared to ask, ‘And what is the future, Dan?’

  He grew expansive. ‘I’m going to play First Division. I’m expecting to hear any day from one of the professional clubs. There’ve been enough scouts out watching me this season. I’ve taken Ashborough from the bottom of our league to second from the top. We should have won the final, but the boss wouldn’t let Manners off his shift to play. Well, the sub let in five goals in the first half.’

  As they neared the Halletts’ house, Millie began to panic. Soon they would be saying goodbye and Dan would disappear north again on the train, with no knowing when she would see him again. She put a hand on his arm to stop him.

  ‘But what about us?’ she asked boldly. ‘Are we courting again?’

  Dan gazed at her, feeling flattered by the urgency in her look. His pulse quickened at the thought of Millie being his lass. Steering her across the square to the seclusion of the central gardens, he sat her down on a damp bench. Not only did he want her, he had a sudden mental picture of how angry both Teresa and his own father would be if he announced he was courting her. Millie’s mother seemed to have taken against him, and his father had always despised the girl from the station boarding house. Mungo had turned into a crabby old man since Effie’s death, forever finding fault with his sons and threatening to throw them out of the house. It would give him a bleak pleasure to annoy his father.

  ‘Of course we’re courting,’ he smiled, putting an arm around her shoulders. He leaned over and kissed her long and hard.

  Millie closed her eyes, her insides melting at the feel of his mouth on hers, the warmth of his breath, the strength in his arms around her. When the kiss finished, Millie murmured, ‘Take me back with you, Dan. I can’t bear to think of staying on in London with you so far away.’ Her heart twisted at the thought of not being able to look at his handsome face every day.

  Dan fixed her with his vivid blue-eyed gaze and considered. She was as good as asking him to marry her! The thought made his head spin. He knew he ought to dismiss it at once. The last thing he needed was the complication of getting wed. Since returning to Ashborough, he had promised himself he would not become entangled with any lass for too long. Yet something deep within him yearned for Millie and what she was offering. She was different from the girls he was used to courting. She was so trusting and open, giving and loyal. With Millie at his side, Dan suddenly realised, he would have the excuse to escape Ashborough and his father’s temper for good. Millie was pretty and practical and would support him in his ambition to go after his dream like no one else could. She would help him blot out his past mistakes. Looking at her adoring face, he knew she would do anything for him, go anywhere he asked. That look gave him courage, and in that instant he made up his mind. He would have Millie for his own.

  He seized her hands in his, his face eager. ‘Aye, Millie, I will! I want you to come back with me.’

  Millie’s heart jolted. ‘You do?’ she gasped in astonishment.

  ‘Aye.’ Dan laughed to see the pleasure his words gave her. ‘And maybe in time we’ll get wed.’

  ‘Wed?’ Millie let out a cry and kissed him joyously. ‘Ask me properly then, before you change your mind!’

  ‘What now?’ Dan laughed, feeling drunk with the speed at which things were developing.

  ‘Aye, now!’ Millie insisted, flushing prettily.

  Dan made a dramatic gesture of going down on his knees in the mud. ‘Millie Mercer, will you be me wife?’ he grinned.

  Millie laughed in delight. ‘Of course I will. I’d like nothing more in the whole wide world!’

  Dan scrambled to his feet and pulled her up. He embraced her again, more boldly this time, a long, lingering kiss that left Millie strangely hungry for more.

  ‘Oh Dan,’ she cried, ‘I’m so happy I could cry. I know we’ll be right for each other. I’ve always known it.’

  Glancing over her shoulder at the grand street behind her, he thought, who cared if London had rejected him? Millie wanted him, and together they would have a glorious future. Dan hugged her close to him, exultant.

  Chapter Nine

  For two months Millie attempted to talk her mother round to the idea of her marrying Dan. She did not want to go ahead without Teresa’s blessing, for she was the only family she had. But her return home had caused terrible rows at the Station Hotel, with Ava refusing to speak to Millie, Moody retreating to his room for days on end and Teresa putting up every conceivable argument against the match. Millie was too young, Teresa said, Dan was too unreliable, he was not earning enough to keep them, there was a shortage of housing, they could not afford a wedding that year, it was causing too much friction with Ava. Ava spoke about Millie to the others as if she was not in the room. ‘She’s got above herself, talking like she’s posher than the rest of us! She shouldn’t be marrying before me – she’s nearly two years younger – it’s just not fair!’

  But Millie persisted, and her argument was strengthened by Ella’s surprise appearance back in Ashborough a month after Millie had given her notice to the Halletts, announcing that she and Walter were engaged to be married too. Millie was thrilled, and the friends talked about a double wedding. But she was worried about Dan. He had been kicked out of Tenter Terrace by his cantankerous father – who had taken once again to drinking – and was lodging in Corn Lane with Kenny Manners, the Comrades goalkeeper.

  She saw the bad influence Kenny was having on Dan, persuading him to go out drinking after work and spending the wages he should have been saving for their wedding. No offers had come from any of the professional clubs, and she could see Dan drowning his disappointment around the clubs of the town. At the same time he showered her with presents: gaudy brooches, embroidered handkerchiefs, chocolates and flowers. He took her on picnics and trips to the seaside; they went dancing to the Egyptian Ballroom, and to the plush Empire cinema.

  Dismissing her fears, he would say, ‘Stop worrying; your mam will come round to the idea eventually.’

  ‘Why won’t you talk to her?’ Millie pleaded. ‘You could win her round if you really tried.’

  He swung an arm about her as they walked past the bowling green in the park. ‘We could always elope,’ he whispered in her ear, and grinned.

  Millie was horrified by the idea. What a scandal that would be! ‘No we could not,’ she answered hotly. ‘I want to be wed in the proper way, with me mam’s blessing. Besides, we need to live at the hotel to start with – we can’t afford anything else and there’s a waiting list for the colliery houses . . .’

  ‘Stop your fretting,’ Dan interrupted, squeezing her shoulder. ‘I’ll have a word with your mam, make her see sense.’

  ‘I just want us to be married,’ Millie said, leaning against him. ‘Isn’t that what you want?’ She noticed his hesitation with dismay. ‘Dan?’ she questioned.

  Quickly he gave her his dimpled smile. ‘Aye, of course I do, bonny lass.’

  With renewed determination, Millie went back to work at the Palace to earn some extra money for the wedding, seeing how Dan spent his wages so freely. One evening shortly afterwards, Dan came round to the hotel bearing a large gift.

  ‘It’s a gramophone!’ Teresa exclaimed.

  ‘It’s for all you ladies here,’ Dan smiled, and set it down on the kitchen table.

  Immediately Teresa and Ava gathered round in excitement, demanding to have a demonstration. Dan put on a record and wound it up, giving a wink to Millie over her mother’s head. There was a crackling fizz, the sound of an orchestra and then a voice began to sing ‘The Teddy Bears’ Picnic’.

  Teresa gawped at Dan and then burst out laughing.

  ‘Well, there wasn’t much choice of records,’ Dan grinned.

  But Teresa was entranced. ‘Play it again!’ she demanded. ‘Show me what to do.’


  The record was played a dozen times, and Millie saw how clever Dan had been to try to win her mother round with music, her passion in life. Each time Dan called at the boarding house he would come bearing a new record of traditional songs, music-hall favourites, ragtime, or the new jazz dance tunes if he could get them. He would breeze into the hot kitchen, roll back the oilcloth and get them dancing. Sometimes they would spill out into the yard, taking the gramophone with them, and the neighbours would be drawn by the music to join in. They would dance and sing and Millie would fetch jugs of home-made lemonade or ginger beer to quench their thirsts.

  But despite Teresa’s thawing disapproval of Dan, she still did not see him as a suitable son-in-law. The fact that he spent too much money on frivolous presents and saved nothing seemed only to confirm her opinion. So when Millie pressed Dan into finally asking her mother outright for permission to marry her, Teresa said no.

  ‘At least not until you’ve put enough by to support her,’ her mother declared.

  Millie feared that Dan would just take no for an answer and carry on as before. It worried her that he seemed resigned to their relationship as it was, happy to be courting her and free to go out with his drinking friends when it pleased him. She saw that if he did not have her beside him as his wife, supporting him and pushing him towards his ultimate goal, Dan might fritter away his chances of success. Yet she knew he possessed that ambition – she had seen it all over his face at Newcastle’s victory at Wembley. Millie realised it was up to her to persuade her mother, so she redoubled her efforts to get Teresa’s approval.

  ‘Why can’t you like Dan?’ she pleaded for the umpteenth time since her return. They were hanging out washing across the yard, the large white sheets catching in the stiff May breeze and lifting like sails.

  ‘It’s not that I don’t like him,’ Teresa said briskly. ‘He’s very easy to like.’

  ‘Then what have you got against him?’ Millie demanded, stabbing wooden pegs on to the line.

  ‘I’m just worried that you’re too young. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be courting, but there’s plenty of time. No need to rush into anything. Get to know him properly first. Don’t go headlong into marriage with the first man that asks you, like I did,’ Teresa lectured.

  Millie huffed with impatience, tired of the old arguments. ‘I’m eighteen and I’ve worked away from home, stood on me own two feet. I know what I want, Mam. I want to be married and I want Dan to be me husband. Nothing will change the way I feel about him.’

  Teresa saw the determined set of Millie’s usually dainty mouth and grew annoyed. Her daughter had returned from London far more argumentative and ready to challenge her. She blamed the lax American employers and the leniency of Mrs Gallagher, whom Millie was forever praising. She felt her temper rise.

  ‘Would it change your mind about him if you knew he had been seeing other lasses while you were in London?’ Teresa blurted out. ‘I thought you would have more sense in your head than running after someone who cares more about football and drinking and having a good time than finding a steady job and a good wage!’

  Millie faltered, clothes prop suspended halfway to the line of washing. Her face fell in dismay. It was the accusation about other girls which hurt the most. ‘Don’t speak about Dan like that.’ She flushed. ‘He only showed an interest in other lasses ’cos he didn’t know he’d see me again – and you wouldn’t give him my address,’ she accused.

  ‘He never tried very hard to get it,’ Teresa blustered, taking the prop from her daughter and finishing the job. But the pained look on Millie’s face made her heart twist, and she immediately regretted her hasty words. She decided not to mention that among the girls Dan had taken to the pictures these past months was Ava. There had probably been nothing in it but a bit of harmless flirtation, and Teresa was the first to admit that Ava had probably made all the running.

  Teresa wanted to put her arms around Millie, thinking how young and vulnerable she still seemed under the veneer of sophistication she had acquired in London. But she feared this marriage with football-mad Dan might end in disaster, so instead she snapped, ‘I don’t want that lad leading you a merry dance, that’s all.’

  Millie shook with indignation, hurt that her mother should think Dan cared so little for her. ‘He loves me, Mam,’ she insisted. ‘I don’t care if he’s courted other lasses. It’s me he wants now.’ She looked into her mother’s distracted face and determined not to give in to her disapproval of Dan. She forced herself to speak her mind. ‘I want to be married, Mam, because I want to feel secure like I used to feel when I was a bairn in Craston. When we were a proper family. I want that feeling back again.’

  ‘What do you mean by that?’ her mother bristled. ‘Haven’t I given you a good home here, you ungrateful lass!’

  ‘It’s not enough!’ Millie cried in desperation. ‘I want us to be respectable again. You can’t give me that. You can never marry Uncle Joseph because you don’t know if me dad’s alive or dead.’

  Stung by her words, Teresa sprang forward and slapped Millie hard on the face. ‘Shut up!’

  Millie yelped and put a hand to her cheek, but she carried on her defiance. ‘I won’t shut up! For years I’ve had to block me ears to the whisperings about us – how we’re not good enough for Ashborough society, how we always had something to hide. Well, marrying Dan will make me respectable. People will look up to us. I won’t have to put up with Ava lording it over me ever again.’ She could see her furious mother was about to rebuke her outspokenness once more, so she finished before her courage failed her. ‘Dan is going to be a great footballer. He’s got ambition and I can help him. We’re not going to live a life of drudgery or insecurity; we’re going to make something of ourselves. I’m going to have a respectable life with a husband who cares for me, and one day we’ll have our own home and family. That’s what I want, Mam. And no one – not even you – is going to spoil this chance for me!’

  Teresa was dumbstruck at the outburst. She felt battered and worn down by her daughter’s persistence. She was shocked at how much Millie had kept bottled up inside about her feelings for their former life in Craston and the life she had made for them here.

  All at once the anger drained out of her. ‘I never knew you felt that way,’ she whispered. Reaching forward, she saw Millie flinch away from her and felt a stab of hurt that her daughter should fear her so. She flung her arms around the young woman and hugged her close, feeling Millie relax into her hold and bury her face into her plump shoulder in relief. They cried together in the smoke-filled air, oblivious to the world around them, weeping with regret for their blighted family life and the accumulation of small, unspoken sorrows.

  ‘I’m sorry, Mam,’ Millie sobbed. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, but Dan means that much to me.’

  Teresa stroked her daughter’s dark hair, not caring what the passing tradesmen would make of the emotional scene in the yard. ‘Don’t be sorry. I can see how much you care for him. I’ve only ever wanted what’s best for you; that’s why we came here in the first place. I’ve tried my best for you, Millie. I never knew you were that unhappy.’

  Millie sniffed. ‘I wasn’t so unhappy – as long as you were always there,’ she admitted. ‘But now I want something more, Mam.’

  Millie was almost a grown woman, Teresa realised, and impatient for adulthood. If her daughter had made her mind up, she thought wearily, she would have to live with her decision. She wished she could explain why she was so wary of Dan, but it was just an instinct and not a strong enough one to stand in the way of Millie’s happiness. Perhaps Millie was right and Dan would give her the life for which she yearned.

  ‘If you two are determined to have your way, I’ll not stop you,’ she relented.

  Millie gasped in delight and hugged her mother tighter. ‘Oh, thanks, Mam!’

  Teresa saw the tears spilling down her daughter’s cheeks and felt guilty for not granting her wish sooner. ‘I’ll have a
word with Joseph about a wedding party. I want things done properly, mind.’

  ***

  Finally, at the end of August, just before the start of the football season, Millie and Dan were married at the Presbyterian church in Myrtle Terrace. They were married in the morning and Ella and Walter in the afternoon. As Ella’s aunt could afford no more than a dress for her niece, the party for both weddings was held at the Station Hotel, at Teresa’s insistence. For days beforehand, Millie, Ella and Elsie had baked pies, scones and pastries for the wedding feast, and helped Teresa decorate the dining room with paper ribbons and fresh flowers. Ava made a big fuss of feeling unwell and taking to her bed, in petulant protest at being asked to help.

  ‘With any luck her so-called fever will last until after you’re wed,’ Elsie said as she polished the dining-room floor to a shine in readiness for the carpet being rolled back for dancing. ‘She gets more like a bad-tempered old witch by the day.’

  ‘She’ll come round,’ Millie said with optimism. ‘She usually does if there’s a party to sweeten her mood.’

  As predicted, Ava revived on the eve of the wedding in time to buy a new outfit. Millie tried not to notice that the pink dress Ava had chosen to wear was of superior quality to the one she herself had bought from the Co­operative store for half the price. Her mother had wanted her to be married in a long white dress, but Millie had chosen a knee-length cream outfit with a lacy bodice and sleeves, and a straw cloche hat that she would be able to wear again.

  Ava came into Millie’s bedroom, the one she would soon be sharing with Dan, to flaunt her new get-up with its pink feather boa and high-heeled shoes.

  ‘I bought it at Davidson’s Emporium,’ she boasted as she preened in front of the mirror.

  ‘It’s lovely,’ Millie said, trying not to feel dismay at how sophisticated her rival looked. She kept reminding herself that by tomorrow she would be Mrs Daniel Nixon, and they would soon be sleeping together in this very bed on which she now sat. The thought made her excited and nervous at the same time. Naturally she wished that they were moving straight into a home of their own, but they could not afford to do so yet. Millie had not wanted them to share the same lodgings as Kenny Manners, so had persuaded Dan that they should start off married life at the hotel until they got somewhere better.