Dark Heart Surrender

by Lee Monroe

‘You seem weird,’ he said, and he sounded anxious. ‘Are you freaked out?’

  ‘I’m not freaked out, exactly. It’s just so unfair, what Ade said yesterday. And it looks like he’s got Ashley in his thrall now too.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Luca’s voice sounded tight.

  ‘Well, they’re going out.’ I sat down on one of the benches that lined the corridor wall. ‘He’s worked his magic on her somehow.’ As I said it I realized how appropriate that word was. Magic. Though good or bad, I didn’t know any more.

  ‘That’s disappointing,’ Luca said mildly. ‘Let’s hope he messes up and she dumps him.’

  ‘She seems really happy,’ I said, frowning at the sight of a familiar figure chatting to somebody at the other end of the corridor. ‘I suppose that’s a good thing.’

  ‘Listen,’ said Luca. ‘I have bad news.’

  ‘What?’ I tore my eyes away from Polly. ‘What’s happened?’

  ‘I got a letter this morning from Lydia Ellis. You know, Pete’s daughter. A very formal letter telling me that my services were no longer required at Pete’s yard.’

  ‘Oh no.’ I screwed up my face in sympathy. ‘I’m sorry, Luca. That’s so unjust.’

  ‘Yes. Though I suppose it makes sense in a way, seeing as Pete’s … well, that he’s not there.’ Luca’s voice seemed to be getting smaller. ‘But that’s not the bad news.’

  ‘OK.’ I hunched over. ‘Well, what is it?’

  ‘If Pete doesn’t recover … they’re going to have me investigated over his accident,’ went on Luca. ‘They’ve obviously fallen for Ade’s pack of lies.’

  ‘That’s ridiculous,’ I said, raising my voice. ‘They have absolutely no proof!’

  ‘I have a feeling they’ll find some,’ Luca said dully. ‘I wouldn’t put it past Ade to rustle that up too.’

  ‘Oh God, Luca. This is awful,’ I moaned. ‘But you’re innocent. I know that, anyone who has any sense knows that.’

  There was a few seconds of silence before Luca spoke again.

  ‘I don’t know any more, Jane,’ he told me quietly. ‘I just don’t know.’

  ‘Listen. I’m going to bunk class and come home,’ I told him. ‘I’ll be there as soon as I can.’

  ‘I don’t want you to miss school because of this,’ he said firmly. ‘Honestly. I’ll be fine. One of us should carry on as normal. I’ll see you later.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Absolutely,’ he said. ‘And, Jane, we’ll get this sorted out. One way or another we will.’

  ‘I know.’ I sounded a lot more convinced than I felt. ‘Well, I’ll see you later then.’

  As I ended the call, I saw biker boots rooted in place in front of me, and long legs encased in dark-grey leggings that led to a leather micro-mini skirt.

  I forced myself to look at Polly and saw the familiar supercilious expression on her face.

  ‘Trouble in paradise?’ she asked sweetly, swinging her bag girlishly.

  ‘No,’ I shrugged, getting up. ‘I’m late for my class, excuse me.’

  ‘What’s the matter, Jane? Are you wondering if you can trust your boyfriend?’ She opened her eyes wide and innocent. ‘Isn’t it awful when people you thought you could count on turn out to be so untrustworthy?’

  ‘Well, you’re in a better position to judge that than me,’ I told her. ‘I mean, you trusted your real parents, didn’t you, and look what happened to them.’ It was a nasty thing to say, but I felt no guilt, not even when I saw Polly’s face darken.

  ‘You have no idea what you’re talking about,’ she spat in a low voice.

  ‘That’s true. But something made you like this.’ I shook my head. ‘This malicious. What has Luca ever done to you and your brother?’

  Polly’s face brightened alarmingly. ‘I feel sorry for you,’ she whispered. ‘You’re in way over your head.’ She smiled nastily. ‘If you really want to know the truth, then ask your boyfriend.’ She stepped aside and I moved past her; my whole body was shaking and that familiar foggy feeling was coming down over my senses.

  ‘Just ask yourself who it really is you’re involved with.’ Then she added, ‘When you think about it, you have no idea what Luca is capable of, do you?’

  ‘I know enough.’ I stopped, gripping my bag handle too tightly, as though I were trying to hold on to it and not be swept away. ‘And he is good and strong – and he doesn’t bear grudges.’

  ‘Uh-huh. I think you’re finally getting somewhere.’ Her tone was so annoying it was all I could do to force myself to walk on. ‘If you try really, really hard, your poor mortal brain will figure it all out – eventually.’

  Mortal brain.

  I froze for seconds, my back to her. But when I turned, she had vanished as though she had never been there. Confused, I looked around me, and there she was in the distance, pushing through the door at the end of the corridor, just like any other student.

  Luca is right. I thought shakily. His instincts were right all along.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Am I dead or alive? she thought, lifting her hand and pressing it to her chest, feeling the faint beat of her heart. Her mouth was so dry she could hardly feel it, and her skin was covered in a cold, clammy sweat.

  She thought someone would come for her. She really thought she would be missed. But maybe this was all her fault. Her fault for coming back, for trying to find them.

  Weirdly, her hearing was sharper. The sound of her watch ticking seemed deafening and a drip coming from somewhere further back in the cave was so loud.

  She remembered reading that you begin to hallucinate when your body becomes too starved, so when she heard the scratching sound above her head, she didn’t react for a minute or two. It would stop in a minute. It was just a dream, or an imagining.

  But the scratching sound persisted and then there was something else, a quick panting sound, like a dog digging for a bone.

  An animal. An animal was up there.

  What little strength she had forced her up; she put her foot on a large stone and balanced on it, placing her palm on the roof of the cave, seeing that thin crack of light and then the nose, the snout of an animal. A dog?

  ‘Hey,’ she called, coaxing. ‘Hey, boy …’

  To her relief the dog started to whimper, sticking its nose as far as possible into the crack. She saw a large, kind brown eye.

  She felt tears streaming down her cheeks. She tried to scream, but nothing was coming from her throat.

  ‘Ralph!’ came a man’s voice from a distance. ‘C’mon, boy. C’mon.’

  ‘No …’ she moaned hoarsely. ‘Please, don’t go …’

  But the nose had disappeared. Along with it the kind brown eye.

  And her last hope.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  I hurried out of school in the pouring rain, my hair already sticking to my face and the back of my neck. I barely cared. I just wanted to get back home. Back to people who were on my side. I hadn’t taken in a word anybody had said after my exchange with Polly in the corridor. My few classes had been a blur. The teachers were beginning to notice.

  ‘Everything OK, Miss Jonas?’ asked Mr Burns, my new Art teacher, when the lesson was over. ‘You seem a little off colour today.’ He scratched his beard cluelessly, obviously not wanting to delve too deep in case I started talking about embarrassing ‘women’s stuff ’.

  Right then, I really missed Soren Balzac, who had faked the Art teacher role the year before. Mischievous he might have been, but at least I could talk to him. And he had known, as much as Luca, what darkness lurks in every corner.

  ‘I’m fine,’ I told Mr Burns. ‘I just have to pick up my little sister. I need to run.’

  ‘Fine … fine … Just checking,’ he said relieved, already turning his attention to another pupil. Part of me wanted to turn back to him and scream that everything was not all right, that I didn’t understand my life, and I was scared.

  I felt really scared.

&
nbsp; Outside, I automatically turned in the direction of the bike sheds, where I had locked up my bike, but stopped. It was too wet and I wasn’t in a fit state to ride home tonight. I’d need to call my dad … or Luca.

  I fished my phone out of my pocket and pressed the button to make it come to life, but the screen remained black. The battery was dead.

  ‘Great, just great,’ I muttered, as the rain came down heavier. I would just have to get the bus.

  But when I arrived at bus stop, just down the road from the school, a sign told me that the service had been cancelled for the rest of the day.

  Again, I wanted to scream. Instead, I stood rooted to the spot.

  Other students were leaving, walking past me, chatting and laughing. A couple of boys were kicking a football to each other. It was like I was invisible; nobody seemed to see me.

  Somewhere in my bag I found a hat, not waterproof, but it might stop me from getting pneumonia. I put it on and pulled my jacket around me tightly, as my eye caught Ashley’s pink Mini, driving slowly through the rain in my direction.

  I turned away. After our conversation this morning, I couldn’t imagine Ashley would be feeling charitable. Better to pretend I hadn’t seen her.

  But the car horn beeped and I heard the engine stop.

  ‘Jane, get in.’ It wasn’t Ashley’s voice. Of course. It was her new boyfriend. I squeezed my eyes shut, but I would have had to be deaf not to have heard him or the horn, so I turned slowly, summoning as easy-going an expression as possible.

  ‘You’re going to catch your death in this rain.’ He leaned out of the car window and, next to him, I saw the figure of Ashley, her face tilted towards me too.

  ‘Get in, babe,’ she said, and the kindness in her tone would have made me want to cry, even if I didn’t feel like it already.

  ‘It’s OK … I’m …’ I hesitated, pathetically hunting for a reason why I was standing soaking wet by a defunct bus stop. ‘It’ll stop raining soon … I’ll be fine.’

  The car door opened and Ade got out. His own hair was a little damp and curling slightly. He smiled and it lit up his face. He looked genuinely concerned.

  ‘Hey. Don’t be silly,’ he said softly, taking off his jacket and, before I could protest, wrapping it around me. ‘We’re not going to let you stand here – and you can hardly cycle home in this weather.’ He rubbed at my arm in a fraternal gesture. I should have flinched, or glared at him at the very least, but his jacket was so warm, and I felt so tired…

  ‘Don’t let a misunderstanding break up your friendship,’ he said quietly. ‘I would never want to come between you and Ashley. She feels the same way.’

  I glanced past him at Ashley, who did indeed look a little mournful in the passenger seat. Catching my eye, she smiled tentatively. I smiled back.

  ‘OK. Thanks, that’s kind of you.’ I opened the back door and got in beside Emma, who grinned good-naturedly.

  Ade started the engine and pulled away from the kerb; through the rear-view mirror I caught his eyes staring at me and found myself unable to look away. Instead of the mean, narrowed look I expected, they seemed to glisten slightly. Soft and empathetic.

  Ashley leaned forward in the front seat and turned off the radio before turning back to me.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘About earlier. I know you’re upset right now. What with Luca losing his job.’

  I tensed. ‘How do you know about that?’ I tried not to snap. I didn’t want to start another argument.

  ‘I told her.’ Ade’s voice was steady. ‘Lydia’s taking it really badly about Pete.’ He changed gear, clearing his throat. ‘She’s taken it out on Luca. I told her to rethink it. Honestly. I never meant for that to happen. But it’s her illness. You know, the depression. She took one comment from me and made it more significant.’

  ‘That’s not exactly what you were saying at the hospital,’ I couldn’t help myself retort. ‘You seemed to be encouraging her to think that Luca is some kind of thug.’

  ‘No.’ Ade turned on to the main road back to Bale. ‘I was upset too. I’m sorry. I really regret that now.’

  ‘Right.’ I tucked my hands between my legs. ‘Well, it’s too late now.’

  ‘I’m going to talk to her tonight,’ he said. ‘Make her see that she’s totally overreacting.’

  I shrugged. ‘Whatever.’ I stared out of the window at the still foul weather. ‘How is Pete?’

  Ade’s shoulders slumped, dejectedly. ‘He’s not better, I’m afraid.’

  ‘Oh. I’m sorry.’ I sighed. ‘I’m so sorry about Pete. We both are.’

  ‘I know.’ Ade sounded genuinely convinced. ‘You’ve got a good heart.’

  ‘She has,’ Ashley cut in. She nudged him with her arm. ‘She brought us together, after all.’

  ‘Yeah.’ Ade half laughed, but I could still see his eyes in the rear-view mirror and, though he wasn’t looking at me any longer, I had a perfect view. His eyes were dull again.

  After what seemed like a lifetime, the pink Mini pulled up at the edge of the track to our house. I pulled down gratefully on the door handle. I couldn’t wait to get out of the damp claustrophobic atmosphere.

  ‘Thanks,’ I said, one leg out of the car. ‘Give my best to Pete.’

  ‘And give my best to Luca,’ Ade replied. ‘Tell him I’m sorry.’

  I nodded, waved at the twins and slammed the door shut. I didn’t wait to see them drive off; I wanted to absorb the conversation I’d just had. And prepare what I was going to say to Luca when I got in.

  He was still the only one home, lying on the sofa in the living room and watching TV.

  I stood in the doorway, smiling at him, his long lean body stretched out, watching some God-awful soap. And then I sneezed.

  Luca turned, smiling, pleased to see me. ‘You’re soaked,’ he said, getting up and coming towards me. ‘You should have called. I would have come to collect you.’ His eyes ran over my saturated clothing. ‘You look like you found a few layers to wear, anyway,’ he said. He helped me take Ade’s jacket off and frowned.

  ‘What’s this?’ he said, holding it up.

  I felt a stab of annoyance. ‘Damn,’ I muttered. ‘I forgot to return it.’ I took a breath and looked up at Luca. ‘Ade and Ashley gave me a lift home. And Ade lent me his jacket.’

  Luca’s face went from smiling to hostile. ‘Ade gave you a lift home?’ he said icily.

  ‘Yeah.’ I shook my head, flustered and unwilling to explain myself. ‘It was bucketing. I couldn’t ride my bike. And my phone was dead.’ I looked defiantly into his hurt green eyes. ‘What else was I supposed to do?’

  ‘After what he said?’ I had never seen Luca look so hostile – not at me, at any rate. He dropped the jacket and moved back to the TV, tensely pacing around it.

  ‘Luca, don’t be silly.’ I tried smiling. ‘I haven’t suddenly gone all Team Ade, if that’s what you’re thinking … I mean, I could hardly say no.’

  ‘You could have said no.’ Luca’s tone was like granite. ‘Easily.’

  ‘It was pelting with rain, my phone was dead, and the buses were cancelled!’ I threw up my hands, exasperated. ‘What did you expect me to do – walk home?’

  ‘Of course not.’ He rubbed angrily at his hair, making it stand up in comical dark tufts. If this were any other time I would have laughed.

  ‘Look,’ I said more calmly, ‘I know you may not believe this, but Ade seemed genuinely contrite. He said that Lydia is stressed and ill and throwing out accusations left, right and centre. She took what he said to an extreme.’

  ‘What he said,’ Luca echoed me slowly. ‘That’s just it. We have no idea what he said. And of course he would want to appear contrite – it makes it so much easier to get you on side.’

  ‘On side?’ I crossed my arms, getting riled again. ‘Why on earth would I be on his side?’ I crossed over to Luca, seeing up close how he was shaking again. ‘You’re my boyfriend. I will always be on your side.’

 
He stared at me for seconds, before dropping his head, looking down at the carpet. ‘You don’t understand, do you? This is exactly how they play it.’

  ‘They?’ I sighed. ‘You mean the Vulpecula?’

  Luca lifted his head at the doubt in my voice. ‘I wouldn’t expect you to grasp this. You don’t know what they tried to do to my family.’

  ‘Yes…But are you sure that Ade is…that he and Polly are members of this species?’ I bit my lip. ‘I mean, I thought so too – yesterday and today. And Polly was stirring up a load of trouble earlier. But maybe that’s just because she’s an angry teenager who got dumped by her parents as a baby.’ I paused, lowering my voice to something softer. ‘I mean, it is unlikely, isn’t it?’

  Luca shut his eyes wearily. ‘I don’t want to fight,’ he said quietly. ‘The last person I want to fight with is you.’

  ‘Then let’s not fight.’ I finally shed my own jacket and felt my wet hair. ‘All I want to do is take a shower and do something very boring – like watch TV.’

  ‘Great,’ Luca muttered, ‘because I haven’t been watching TV all day.’

  I smiled; he was like an adorable petulant little boy, and if I hadn’t been wet through I would have hugged him, taken away all his worries.

  ‘Ah, but you haven’t been watching it with me,’ I said, trying to catch his eye, ‘have you?’

  A flicker of a smile.

  ‘I know Ade’s a jerk,’ I told him. ‘Believe me, I would never willingly get a lift from him. I think he and his sister are bad news. But maybe that’s all … Maybe they’re just a couple of damaged kids?’

  ‘It’s possible,’ Luca said reluctantly. ‘I suppose.’

  I was at the door when I turned back to him. ‘Oh and he’s going to try and get you your job back. He’s going to talk to Lydia. You see? Everything’s going to be OK.’

  Luca looked startled. ‘He’s what?’

  ‘He’s going to put things right.’ I paused. ‘Maybe he isn’t so bad after all.’

  ‘Jane!’ Mum’s voice came from the kitchen. ‘Phone.’

  I frowned. Beside me Luca stirred slightly from his semi-coma in front of the television. The comedy drama about a bunch of nerdy science boys analysing the battle of the sexes had been pretty stupefying. I sat forward.