Powerless (Power Series Book 1)

by Lauren Cooper

  “Yes, you do. I know you feel this. You argue with me and pick at every little thing because you don’t want to acknowledge it” he says pointing between our two bodies with his other hand. I glance at his long fingers wrapped around my small wrist and my heart rate picks up speed. I hate the feeling that he has power over my body, the way it reacts to his touch drives me insane. I should pull away, tell him to leave me alone and to get out. But I don’t.

  “So?” I question as if I’m some clueless teenager. I know there’s feeling there, I don’t know what it is, and it’s scaring the crap out of me. How did he just hit the nail on the head with this? I couldn’t even understand my own feelings! Never have I felt this so out of control around a man, and I hate myself for it. After a few minutes of silence, I stand pulling my wrist gently out of his hold and place my dish in the sink, turning and leaning on the counter behind me. The feeling of uncertainty is unwelcomed in my stomach, and I can still feel his hand wrapped around my wrist like a burn. I can’t feel like this, it sends me on a downward spiral every time I feel powerless. That’s it. Liam makes me feel powerless and I can’t be. Clearing my throat, I will my eyes to meet his.

  “Look. Last night was nice, yes. However, I don’t sleep around, and I don’t intend on starting now. I know that’s the lifestyle your used to, but you won’t find that with me. So why don’t you just stop? We can go back to being business partners, end of story” My voice comes out loud and steady, the sun dances off the blue swirls in his eyes, making him look all dream like. I don’t like big headed, cock-sure men usually, but the way he looks at me makes me want to come to my knees and let him use me for his own pleasure. Squeezing my legs together, I look away, aimlessly eyeing the weird painting I paid way too much for at some auction last year. I have no idea why, a two-year-old could have painted the damned thing.

  “Can I explain?” he asks, tilting his head and bringing his hands in front of him on the counter.

  “You don’t need to explain anything to me, I already told you” I cross my arms across my chest, still stupidly believing they will protect my already worn-down chest from his words. I don’t want anything from Liam, well, that’s a lie. So, why do I feel like he’s about to reject me? And why the hell do I care?

  “Amelia just shut up and listen to me, will you?” his hand smacks the table in front of him, those long fingers splayed like he means business, his voice rising a few knots, filling the space between us.

  I sigh, before nodding and waiting for him to explain whatever to me.

  “I never explain myself to anyone” he starts.

  “Then don’t start for my benefit” I huff, but he ignores me and carries on talking.

  “I don’t play around Amelia. I fuck women but only ever once. I never drag them on, hell I never even take them out for dates. The thing in my office was wrong, but you must understand that Cassidy thinks that we had more than what we did. It was never serious, and I made that perfectly clear from the start. I am not that man Amelia” he repeats what he said last night.

  “Why are you telling me all of this?” I demand. I don’t care! Yes, you do. I close my eyes in the hope that this will all disappear. That I can dig out my ice cream and burrow beneath the covers for the day.

  “Because I like you” he states none too gently, throwing his arms up lightly as if in disbelief “I want to do what we did last night again. And again” his voice is serious, but there’s no hint of a smile on his face. I blink in response, is he serious? I don’t know if I’m supposed to believe this, should I believe him? Without any fight left me, I sigh, letting my head fall back slightly before I hear Liam stand. Craning my neck, I see him strutting towards me, his jean clad thighs flexing beneath the material, I steady myself as he approaches me.

  Standing in my own little bubble has always been my way of protecting myself, but around Liam that bubble bursts. Frying my nerve endings along with it. He stands so close that I can feel the heat radiating off his skin, he leans in almost pressing the tip of his nose to mine. I catch my breath before looking up into his eyes. God, I like this, being so close to him, wrapped up in his strong arms, his spicy, autumn scent filling my nose making me want to do nothing more than bury my head in his steel chest. Moving my gaze away from his, concentrating on the disgustingly tight shirt pulled across his chest, “I hardly know you Liam” my voice comes out as barely a whisper against the fabric of his shirt. Reaching up with his large hand, I stiffen, waiting for him to touch me. Knowing it will be the end of all my arguments. Knowing that as soon as his skin meets mine, all my willpower will fly out the window, only to go crashing into the concrete below. With one, well-manicured finger he moves my chin up, forcing me to look at his lust fills eyes.

  “Stop fighting me and get to know me” his words fall in breaths against my lips and I can hardly fight the urge to kiss him. Moving his hand from my chin he caresses the side of my face in a gentle touch. Holding me there and without breaking eye contact he leans in closer. The hint of mint mixed with coffee is intoxicating and I can do nothing but let him kiss me. The baby blue of his eyes darkens as our lips connect and I barely stifle the moan that betrays me. I shouldn’t be doing this, but all thoughts of retribution flee when he pushes his tongue past my lips. My arms drop away from my chest, stupidly letting him into my space even further. All reasoning is forgotten as I bring my hands up around his shoulders and dive them into his hair. God it’s soft. I pull him gently, urging him closer to me and I hear him growl.

  The sound comes from deep within him and my sex clenches at the thought of doing that to him. I’m like a starved baby bird having its first meal, sucking and biting at his lips and tongue. Bringing his hand down slightly to rest on the curve of my neck, he uses his hips to gently ease me backwards, so I meet the counter. I nearly combust between Liam and the hard surface. Shock fills my blood stream as lust overpowers every other emotion in my body. How can I enjoy him taking over my senses so much? I gasp silently at the sudden influx of feelings, my nerves going haywire as to what he could do to me. His hands come to my bum, cupping my cheeks firmly in his palms before he reaches behind me and lifts me. I squeal a little as he deposits me on the counter, but he ignores me and continues his mission of tongue fucking my mouth. A loud ringing in the distance startles me, and I pull my head away reluctantly. Instantly missing the feel of his lips on mine. Liam sighs before pulling back and reaching into his jean pocket, his eyes clenched shut for a second before he eyes me apologetically and bringing his phone to his ear, never letting go of my hip as he does.

  “Hello? Yes of course... I’ll be there right away” I drop my arms from around his shoulders as he hangs up and shoves his phone back into his pocket. The one-sided conversation I heard sets a rock of disappointment into my gut. I wanted to keep going, to keep kissing him. Resting his forehead on mine, and letting our eyes meet, Liam brushes his thumb across my bottom lip, so I playfully graze my teeth across the tip. A moan of desperation escapes his lips and I can’t help but smile.

  “This isn’t over Amelia. I’ll call you later”

  “I’m out later” I whisper back.

  “Then I might see you. Stop fighting this. Your attitude is refreshing” I pull back slightly but bite my tongue. Knowing that my attitude is what’s probably drawing him to me, I keep quiet. He smirks before saying “I know you’ll enjoy it once you give in” his determined tone leaves flames across my skin, all the way down there. A small smile appears on his lips, before he gives me one last searing kiss. I miss his lips the instant he pulls away, brushing my cheek gently with the pad of his thumb. I let my eyes linger on his beautiful face, before he pulls away slowly. Turning on his heel and stomping his way out of my flat, the slam of my door makes me jump and I let out a ragged breath of air. I will myself to move to my feet, but all I can do is grip the counter behind me.

  The ache between my legs is throbbing with need, my chest rising and falling against the tight fabric of my shirt. I know this i
s a bad idea, surely it can’t be good to get involved with someone you work with? Groaning I jump down from the unit, gathering the discarded breakfast materials and putting them away. All I can smell as I walk around the kitchen is Liam, he’s all around me and my still swollen lips remind of what could have been. Images of him in his office spring to the front of my mind and I instantly scold myself. This is a bad idea. But I happen to like this bad idea.

  Chapter Eight

  At bang on seven Saturday Night, the intercom from downstairs buzzes into my flat. I unlatch the front door and head to the kitchen. I had the place renovated before I moved in, the old kitchen just shut out all the natural light from the floor to ceiling windows, and I needed the outside to come in. I opened the space by knocking the wall to the dining area through and going for soft white and chrome colors. The sun bounces off both the cabinets and the units, not so great if I have a ranging hangover but that’s rare, forgetting the thumping headache I had for most of the day thanks to Liam. I can blame him, right? I had blackout blinds installed for such cases. While most of the buildings in Notting Hill are beautifully old on the outside, the interiors needed a much-needed face lift, and mine was no exception. Given my childhood, I need open plan spaces, and nothing too dark.

  “Where are you?” Becca shouts before slamming the door behind her, making me jump. Why is everyone slamming doors lately?

  “Kitchen!” I shout back before pouring us both a glass of wine from the bottle I pulled from the chiller. Hair of the dog and all that jazz.

  “Well hello gorgeous, and what have you done with Mia?” I give her a sarcastic smile and pass her a wine glass before jumping onto one of my bar stools. Grey crushed velvet pads the seats while silver chrome glitters down the base. I love my kitchen, granted I don’t do much cooking in it, but it is the heart of a home isn’t it? The floor to ceiling windows along the far wall give way to the now dimming lights of London, allowing the sparkly city lights into my space. I hate feeling crowded, it was the first thing on my list before I moved in. The spot lights beneath the counters in the kitchen give it an ambient, calming glow. Just how I like to feel, regardless of the topsy-turviness of my life recently. We both take a sip of the wine before I turn myself towards her more.

  “I’m in trouble” I give her a closed mouth smile.

  “Trouble, trouble or good trouble?” she questions, clearly sensing that something has happened with my mother.

  I sigh before replying. “Liam trouble”

  “I knew it!” she gasps, green eyes wide and a knowing smirk on her face. I avoided all of her questioning texts throughout the day, eventually ignoring them. She should have been scouting for wedding venues but apparently my love life was far more interesting.

  “I don’t know what to do!” I moan, crinkling my brow as I do.

  Putting her glass down, she raises her palms before turning her face into full blow FBI mode.

  “Okay, tell me what’s happened so far”

  I tell her in great detail everything that has happened, earning a slap to my arm for not telling her about it earlier. By the time we’re done we’ve both drank another few glasses of wine and she’s ready to deliver her verdict.

  “He’s right you know”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You do argue black and blue against things that should be natural” she holds her hands up, silently explaining she isn’t judging me. “But with your past, that’s understandable. Everything you’ve said sounds totally normal, and if you’re feeling the things you’ve said then just go with it!” she insists the last four words.

  “Maybe I should get that on a bumper sticker” I laugh.

  “I’m getting tired of telling you! Seriously, if it feels right then it probably is” she shrugs.

  “I hardly know him, I literally don’t know anything about him. And he’s so bloody big headed and demanding”

  “Then let’s see what good, old google has to offer. Everyone loves a bit of a dominant man, as long as he’s not asking you to warm his slippers I’m sure you can manage him” she grins, pulling out her phone. I finish off another glass before standing and refilling it. I need the liquid courage for the information I’m about to get. Only Becca surprises the hell out of me with her raised eyebrows.

  “What?”

  “There’s nothing here, except a few cases he’s worked, a lot on his company, and a few charity events. There’s no pictures of him with other girls either”

  “Are you sure?” I’m shocked, but I don’t know why. He told me himself he’s never dated anyone seriously.

  “Yes! There’s a few photos of his sister and his mother…” she starts but I cut her off when I grab the phone from her hand. Sure enough there’s a picture of Liam with his sister at a gala, but I can’t tell what one. Some slim, beautiful brunette hangs on his right arm dressed in a gorgeous off the shoulder dress. The woman on his left arm is an identical, yet older woman. The tag line reads ‘Jessica, Liam and Hannah Hadleigh at Innocent Addictions Charity Gala’. Innocent Addictions? I glance at the date, I should have been at that event, but I was settling Gran into her nursing home. What are the chances that we could have met months ago? I glance at their faces again, my eyes immediately drawn to Liam’s. They all look alike; his mother obviously has the stronger gene pool.

  “There is not one thing about him on there that says he’s a dodgy guy. He has his fingers in a few different pies but nothing weird. See, I told you!” she points her long, darkly manicured finger at me and I poke my tongue out at her.

  “What about him firing his Father? That’s a little strange”

  Becca thinks for a second, obviously trying to come up with an answer that will put my mind at ease.

  “Maybe. But he wouldn’t have been able to fire him for no reason. Family’s argue all the time, you know that better than anyone”

  I hadn’t thought of it like that. I know everything isn’t as black and white as we’d like sometimes, and now I feel guilty for ever painting him with the same brush.

  I shove Becca’s phone back at her just as mine begins vibrating loudly in the otherwise quiet against my marble island. I glance quickly at the screen before glancing at Becca. A questioning eyebrow raises up her head, along with a sideways smirk. Damn you caller ID! Crossing her arms across her voluptuous breasts she waits to see what I’ll do. Huffing out a breath I grab my phone and start walking aimlessly.

  “Hello?” I chew at my lip, waiting for his reply.

  “Amelia” his deep, dark voice sends my nerve endings flying. An impish smile spreads across my lips, and I turn to walk away from the kitchen, a habit I practice regularly while on the phone, only as I turn I come face to face with Becca. I give her wide eyes as a what the hell are you doing? Before I side step around her.

  “Liam” my voice sounds breathless in comparison to his steady tone.

  “What are you up to?” he asks casually.

  “Oh, uh…just getting ready to go out with Becca” Turning back towards the kitchen, Becca leans against the counter swigging chirpily at her wine glass. Damn, the bitch is laughing at me.

  “Getting ready? Does that mean you’re naked?”

  I gasp, and Becca raises her eyebrow at me. I stifle a giggle before composing myself and answering him.

  “No, I am not”

  “That’s a shame” I can hear him grinning through the phone, the way his deep voice raises an octave or two as he does.

  “What are you up to tonight?” I decide to avoid his reference to me being naked. Do I really want to know what his plans are? What if he’s with another woman? Before I can dwell on it too much my phone is ripped from my hand and I twirl around to the culprit who is grinning from ear to ear. Holding up a finger to silence me I shut my open mouth with a snap as she talks into the receiver.

  “Liam...Hey, It’s Becca…. Yeah, we’re headed out in a bit…. yeah…. sure…ha-ha of course! Okay. Bye” Hanging up the phone with a dramatic tap of her finge
r, she hands it back to me.

  “What the hell did you just do?”

  “I just helped you out! Come on, finish up”

  “Becca!”

  “You haven’t you slept with him?” she reiterates my earlier confession.

  “What? NO!” Balling my hands at my sides, I give her a little stomp of my foot, like an irate toddler.

  “Well you’ll be thanking me later”

  “Oh god. Bec!” I groan. My insides flutter at the thought of later. It’s been so long, too long!

  “Look, the way I see it, you need to have your world rocked and who better looking to do that than Liam Hadleigh? Just enjoy it!” she insists, before gulping down the last of her wine. I twiddle my lip between my teeth, reliving him biting at them gently just this morning.

  “I’m texting him where we’re headed, but he’s on a boys’ night and you’re on a girls’ night so you can’t ditch your respective parties until the end of the night, got it?”

  I’m speechless, literally. Is this how these things work? I’m going to need the rule book asap.

  “You texted him where we’re going?”

  “Yep”

  I throw my head back in exasperation as butterflies’ swarm in my tummy. I don’t really care that she did that, I’m glad. Hell, excited even! But I love messing with Becca, so I do.

  “Where are you dragging me anyway?”

  “I am not dragging you anywhere. You are voluntarily coming to a new cocktail bar and then possibly some night clubs”

  “Great” I drawl with an upturned lip.

  “That’s settled then” she says, a menacing smile painting her too gorgeous face. Becca was graced with loving, good looking parents. I envy her tanned skin, blonde hair and twinkly green eyes. Ugh, lucky bitch.

  “Come on Mia, you’re allowed to have fun. Sod the repercussions, just enjoy the sexy hunk while you can. No one’s saying it’s permanent, just a fling. We all have needs” Turning on her polished heels, she heads to the door. I let her words sink in for a minute before joining her in the hallway. I do have needs. Ones that seem to run a bloody marathon every time Liam is in the same room. Shrugging into my coat and grabbing my purse, I wonder, would it really be that bad? Am I making too much of a fuss about this?