Her Soldier's Solace

by Lisa Ladew

  Relic curled his fingers into his palms and clenched them, trying to keep his voice under control. Charlene ached for him.

  “After that, it wasn’t even about me and you anymore, but for a while it became about that guy, and the Army, and the government, and the President, and the President before him. I forgot why I was there in the first place and some seed of hate and bitterness began to grow in my itching and painful body as I was laid up in that hospital bed for months at a time.”

  He dropped his eyes, then brought them straight back up to hers. “I’m ashamed to admit that I was reduced to a black pit of loathing for a while. Lieutenant Dan after he lost his legs, even though I’d only lost one finger, one thumb, and some skin. The doctors assured me my lung would heal as good as new, and when my chance of infection was over, I could be up and around, moving, working out, recovering, but I didn’t care. In my mind, I carried out elaborate murder/suicide missions where I found the soldier who set us up and made sure he never, ever did it again.”

  Charlene winced and Relic nodded. “It was that bad. Worse. I knew I had to get help. I did get help. I spent a lot of time screaming my throat raw at my counselor, at God, at the Army, but over time, things got better.”

  He stared at her. “And still I didn’t call you. I was a coward, Charlene, and I don’t deserve you. I won’t blame you if you are mad at me. I’ll follow your lead here, I’m just glad to be able to see you even if it’s only for a few minutes.”

  Charlene waited to see if there was more. When he let his hands dangle at his sides and stared at her, his eyes full of pain, she took one tiny step forward, until their chests were almost touching. “You are the bravest man I know,” she whispered. “I was never mad. I was devastated.”

  “You knew?” he choked out.

  “I suspected. I never knew. But what else could have happened? I didn’t want to find you and force you to talk to me if you weren’t ready.”

  He swallowed and she tracked his adam’s apple as it moved up and down, unable to look in his eyes. He swallowed again and Charlene could tell he had more to say.

  “I knew in my heart you wouldn’t reject me, but I still couldn’t bring myself to contact you, because, in the state I was in, if I even misinterpreted something as rejection, it would have been the end of me.”

  Charlene knew right then that she forgave him all of it. The pain of every second of the last year of not knowing was gone from her heart and her mind, scrubbed paper-white by his pain. It didn’t matter what he had done or why he had done it. She could forgive him anything, and she did. She bit her lip harder as her own tears fell and she waited to see if he had anything more to say. He had to get through this for himself, more than for her. She knew a little bit about the after-effects of war and traumatic injury, having done a lot of reading in the last year while he’d been missing from her life. In her heart, she’d always known it had been something like this, and she had wanted to be ready. He needed to say what he had to say─ give it to her in his own way.

  He licked his lips and looked right in her eyes. “I’m stronger now, though. I know I did a horrible thing, putting you through not knowing for the last year. I’ll understand if you can’t forgive me for it.”

  He stopped talking and stared at her. Charlene didn’t want to make him wait. “I can forgive you, Relic. I have. You’re as gorgeous as you ever were, but your heart is way more important to me than your face.”

  Relic shifted forward, like someone had shoved him in the back, and tears fell from his eyes, wetting his scars. She lifted her hand to catch some but he pulled back.

  “Wait. Before you say another word. You have to see more. You have to see all of it.”

  Charlene nodded and waited, her face drawn, as Relic began to remove his suit jacket.

  Chapter 10

  Relic stripped, but there was nothing sexy about it. The dejection on his face and the trembling in his fingers ensured that. First the suit jacket, then the tie, then the pants. Charlene watched the clothing fall to the floor, holding back her emotions as best she could.

  When he stood there naked before her, except for his dark boxer briefs, she saw it all. The round, dimpled scar just under his right armpit was the worst, she thought, until he turned and she saw he had a bigger one on the other side, a depression of sorts, where the skin was darkened and pitted. From his forehead to just above his ankle, the entire right side of his body was a mass of jagged lines and twisted skin that was painful to look at, including all the tattoos on his right arm. The words and crests that she remembered were gone or horribly distorted. By contrast, his left side looked relatively untouched from face to foot, with only a few small burns around his elbow and his knee.

  Charlene stepped to him and raised her hand to his face. He did not pull back this time, but watched her solemnly. She put her fingers on the thickest line on his cheek and followed it to what was left of his ear. His body jerked when she touched him and his eyes fell closed.

  “Does it hurt?” she whispered.

  “No,” came the soft reply.

  With her fingers, she marked each buckle and contortion of the pink and white skin, tracing it from ear to neck, neck to shoulder, shoulder to chest, chest to stomach and hip. Relic’s body bucked again and she lifted her fingers.

  “Am I hurting you?”

  “No, never.”

  “Then why are you shaking?”

  “Your touch, Charlene, I-It does things to me. I can feel love in it.”

  “So much love,” she sighed.

  “You’re not-not repulsed? You don’t see a freak?” He opened his eyes and watched her with an intensity that scared her.

  Charlene dropped her hand and stepped back, looking him up and down. “I see a hero. I see scars that tell me a story of what you went through to gain that title.”

  “You aren’t repulsed even a little?”

  “No.”

  Relic’s eyes dropped to the floor. “Liar,” he said, his voice thick and apologetic.

  Charlene shook her head and stepped forward, catching his chin. “Don’t confuse what you feel with what I feel. And don’t ever call me a liar again. You could never repulse me.”

  His eyes met hers and he frowned. “I’m sorry,” he said and she could tell he meant it.

  She stood on tiptoe and kissed him on his mangled cheek, then dropped to his neck, swirling her tongue over the healed skin there, hearing his quick intake of breath. She made her way to his gunshot scar and kissed it deliberately, then slowly dropped to her knees, kissing every inch of exposed disfigured skin.

  She pulled at his boxer briefs, wanting to see the skin underneath them. They hung up and she realized he had an erection. She touched it softly. “This still works then?” she asked.

  “I wasn’t sure until just now.”

  She looked up at him, noting something new in his eyes. Something dark and hungry. “Really?”

  “Really.”

  “No hot-nurse sponge baths in the hospital?”

  “Most of my nurses were male soldiers.”

  “Mm. That would have done it for me.”

  Relic barked out a surprised laugh. “You sound like your sister.”

  She didn’t want to answer that. She wrapped her hand around his cock and kissed the plump head of it. Relic moaned and fell against the door. “Oh my God, Charlene.”

  Her hand moved over his shaft and her mouth worked quickly suckling at the head. His hips pumped and before she knew it he dropped a hand to her head, trying to pull her away. “I’m going to come.”

  She ignored him and kept ahold of her prize, relishing every moan that came out of his mouth and every drop of salty cum he spilled into her mouth. She only stopped when he shuddered and pulled back instead of pressing forward.

  She stood, pressing her body against his and looking into his face. “Oops,” she said, licking her lips. Heat flared in his eyes and he kissed her hard, one hand dropping to her ass and kneading it, the othe
r pressing her head forward, grinding their mouths together.

  He broke their kiss and plunged both hands into her hair, quickly pulling off her soft mask. “I came so fast. That was embarrassing.”

  “It was just a warm-up.”

  “Yes, a warm-up. Your turn.” He spun her around until her back was against the wall then pressed her into the cold surface, kissing her again, hard, stealing her breath and any will she had to stay separate from him in any way. He owned her completely. She would do whatever he wanted. Her body throbbed for him, for his touch.

  He kissed her cheek, blazing a hot trail to her ear, then her collarbone, even as his hands found her breasts. He knelt then, like she had, and watched her face as he pushed her dress up her body, exposing her white panties and her belly. He kissed her once, just below her navel. “You’re so beautiful, Charlene, I know I don’t have any right to ask you, but I have to know. Have you had any boyfriends?”

  “Just my memory of you.”

  “Thank God,” he said and hooked his fingers around her panties, pulling them down her legs. He threw one of her legs over his right shoulder and buried his face in her pussy, with none of his usual tenderness, and build-up. Charlene didn’t care. She felt ready to split open. Her fingers scrabbled against his head looking for purchase, as he latched on her clit and sucked. She threw her head back and cried out as an orgasm bigger than she’d ever had in her life built inside her, the pre-pulses feeling like earthquakes.

  “Don’t stop, don’t stop,” she urged him, only able to think of herself and her immense pleasure. The waves overtook her and she lost everything.

  When she came back to him he looked up at her, a tiny smile playing on his face. She pulled at him, wanting to feel his lips on hers, wanting to connect with him again and again.

  She pulled his mouth to hers. “Don’t you ever leave me again, Relic. Don’t you ever make my decisions for me again, do you hear me?”

  “Yes ma’am,” he breathed inside her mouth. “Never.”

  “Good.” She reached down between their bodies and found his cock, heavy and stiff. “Now take me.”

  “Yes ma’am,” he told her again. “Always.”

  Charlene felt tears threaten as she stared into his eyes and she pushed them away. Their re-connection did not have to be about sadness. She was done with sadness.

  He lifted her off the ground, positioning her exactly where he needed her as he kissed her neck and ground against her.

  He froze and she startled, waiting for him to say something. “Ah shit, I don’t have a condom. I didn’t think you would─I haven’t─”

  She shook her head and reached between them. “Stupid, stupid boy,” she told him as she maneuvered his cock to her wet and swollen entrance. She wanted him. All of him, and she wasn’t going to wait for it. He grinned sheepishly at her.

  He held her up, her back against the wall, not moving an inch, his forearms and neck muscles bulging, making her ache to bite him there. She wiggled, pushing herself down onto him.

  “Ahhh,” he moaned as he slowly lowered her onto his cock. She watched his face carefully, taking in every emotion, every sign and sigh of pleasure until he was buried inside her.

  “I’ll pull out,” he said.

  “Don’t you dare.”

  He began to thrust into her then, lust flaring in his face, and she met his body each time, holding his shoulders and marveling at his strength. God, he was gorgeous. God she loved him. She had him back, and she was never going to let him go again.

  “I love you,” he whispered, echoing her thoughts, then pulling her dress over her head.

  She smiled and kissed him hard as their bodies remembered each other, the friction of his cock inside her driving her to higher and deeper pleasures.

  “Then show me.”

  He did, thrusting into her until she came again, then growling into her ear as his own body released into her.

  Charlene relaxed against the wall, feeling good, complete, whole, for the first time in over a year.

  Relic carried her to the bed and set her down gently, then ran to the shower to grab a white washcloth so she could clean up.

  He sat down on the bed next to her and kissed her tenderly.

  “How long do you have this room for?”

  “All night.”

  “Good. Maybe we can try those restraints later?” She said, indicating the leather straps and buckles at the head of the large bed.

  His eyes glowed. “Really?”

  She nodded and laughed as she noticed his fading cock begin to grow again.

  A buzzing sounded somewhere in the room and she looked towards the door, noticing her purse that she had dropped on the floor. “That’s my phone.”

  Relic jumped up and walked to her purse, bending to grab it and she watched his muscles move, feeling her own body respond again.

  He handed her purse to her and she fished her phone out of it. A text message from Kerry.

  Susan called from the room. The boys are there. Is it okay if I take off?

  Charlene thought for a long time before she sent her own message back.

  Yeah. I might stay the night.

  So… Everything is good?

  Charlene frowned. Kerry would normally never be okay with her spending the night with a stranger. She was very protective of Charlene even though she was the little sister. She looked at Relic. “Does my sister know who you really are?”

  Relic dipped his head. “She knows. She found me. She set this all up from the word go.”

  Charlene felt her insides churn, but she had to admit that Kerry had made it work. She texted back.

  Yes. Thank you. I love you.

  A flood of hearts and smileys came through. Call me tomorrow!!!!!!!! I want to hear everything!!!!!!

  I will.

  When she turned back to Relic he had something in his hands. A beautiful necklace more special than anything she’d ever owned.

  A lump formed in her throat. “It’s beautiful.”

  “Not as beautiful as you. May I?” She nodded and waited as he put it around her neck. “I saw it and thought of you. I wanted to say I was sorry.”

  He pushed her back against the pillows, a glint in his eye, kissing her all around the necklace, above and below, teasing the edges of her breasts with his lips and his hot breath.

  He nodded at the chests along the wall. “Want me to see what kinds of toys they have here?”

  Charlene arched her back into him. “Next time. For now, I just want you.”

  He stared at her, some of the old insecurity showing in his face. “So this isn’t a one-time thing? A pity-fuck? This isn’t good-bye?”

  Charlene pulled him to her and spoke softly in his ear. “This is forever.”

  Chapter 11

  Charlene awoke slowly, blinking her eyes and looking around. Relic was in the kitchen, turned away from her, talking softly on his phone. He said his good-bye, turning to her and smiling when he saw she was awake. “I just arranged to have the next two days off. You don’t fly home until Saturday right?”

  Early-morning reality crashed in on Charlene. How could she ever leave him?

  Relic crossed the room to join her on the bed. “Hey, chin up. Don’t think about leaving. We’ll deal with that when it gets here.”

  She smiled at him and tried to take his advice, but it was hard. They ate a light breakfast and showered in the room, then got dressed and headed out of the suite.

  “Who cleans up?”

  “They have a staff, don’t worry about it.”

  “Ok.”

  Relic bundled her into a cab and they rode across town to his apartment. Charlene couldn’t help but be impressed as she walked in the door. “Wow, I thought rents were exorbitant here. I wouldn’t have expected you to have this much space.”

  “You wouldn’t believe what people will do for injured vets, and what kind of perks the government gives them to do it.”

  She held his hand and looked arou
nd at his tidy and cute apartment. “That’s good right?”

  “Yep.”

  She walked through the decent-sized living room, the small kitchen, and down the hallway. “Is this a bedroom?”

  He nodded and opened the door for her. “I don’t sleep here though. The couch pulls out to a comfortable bed. I need this space.”

  One wall of the room was packed with boxes from floor almost to ceiling. Another held a desk piled high with letters and pictures. She walked over and looked at them. They were all headshots of Relic in uniform, in front of the American flag, but they were recent. Since his accident. He wasn’t smiling.

  Relic motioned to the boxes. “Those are care packages I send to Afghanistan, to the injured soldiers in the hospital there.” He motioned to more boxes she hadn’t seen in the open closet. “Those are for my old division. I send out the kind of stuff it’s hard to get there. Deodorant, cookies, that kind of thing.” He nodded at the desk and all the letters and pictures. “And these are for Operation Wounded Vet. I volunteer with them and try to send a letter to all the new soldiers coming home with new injuries and changed lives. I try to convince them that things will get better. That they will survive and even thrive. I know because I did it. Sometimes they ask for pictures. Proof, you know?”

  Charlene looked around at the pieces of his life in New York. “Are you ever moving back to Westwood Harbor?”

  He took her hand. “That’s where you are.”

  “But this is where the wounded vets are,” she said, feeling the power of what he was doing and unsure if she could compete with it.

  He shrugged. “I’m sure there’s wounded vets in California.”

  “But they all start here, right? On the east coast? This is where they filter back to the states while they get their treatment.”

  He pressed his lips together. “Most do,” he admitted.

  “How did you get your job at Club Privé?”