One Summer With Autumn

by Julie Reece

  Syd taps her foot. “Tick-tock.”

  “How do we get home?”

  “Easy.” She leans over the sink to check her lip gloss. “We take the rental car in the morning. Banks and Cooper paid up front, so we won’t have to do a thing. It’s what, a four or five-hour drive?”

  “Something like that. If I talk to the Behrs tonight, we can leave before the sun is up.” A forty-eight hour break from Caden. Forty-eight hours to meet the woman I used to call mother, and come back to wrap up the job here. My hands drop to my sides. “Let’s roll.”

  28

  Caden

  When I can’t find Autumn, I call Dex. He’s been glued to her sister all day, and thought he might have heard something. Apparently, after reading a text from her father, Sydney took off like a bat out of hell. Said she needed to find Autumn and they’d meet him at home later.

  Having had some interaction with their father, a dozen scenarios play in my head. None of them good. I fill Dexter in on the Teslow family dynamic on the drive home. He listens patiently, and while he doesn’t voice his option, he makes no characteristic interruptions or jokes. His interest is surprising, or maybe he’s too tired out by the day to be an ass. Either way, it does me good to think out loud for once without his dogging me.

  Dex pulls into the driveway. I’m out of the car before the engine stops idling, shoes spraying white gavel in my hurry.

  “Might want to dial that intensity back a notch,” Dex says. “Don’t want to scare the poor girl before you get a chance to talk.”

  That might be good advice, yet I’m jogging up the stairs and across the porch. My hand won’t turn the door handle fast enough. I hear Dexter’s soft chuckle as the door swings open, and I anxiously scan every visible space. Mother, Piper, Quinn, and Jesse sprawl around the great room table like wilting flowers. The girls’ hair droops, clothes creased and rumpled. Most have that once happy, but now burnt-out look you get after a long and satisfying party. Exhaustion isn’t on my radar. Not yet. I have a girl to hogtie and talk sense into.

  “Miss me?” Dex asks.

  We join them at the table. I’m about to ask if they’ve seen our intern when heels echoing against porch boards pull my attention back to the door. The Teslow sisters fill the frame in all their evening finery. I don’t think long about how sexy Autumn’s hair looks, brushing her shoulders in the places where it’s coming down. My focus moves to the crease between her eyebrows, and how I want to kiss that away.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask. Her head angles toward me, expression softening. Our eyes lock. A wordless conversation begins and ends in seconds. Longing, fear, need, regret.

  “Sorry to intrude, people, but we’re having a family crisis,” Sydney explains.

  It’s only when Dexter’s shoulder brushes mine that I realize he’s still standing next to me. “What happened? Is anyone hurt?” I let my brother ask the questions while I gage the anxiety in Autumn’s eyes.

  “You’re so sweet, thank you. It’s not an illness, but the situation is urgent. Our father needs us at home immediately.” She glances at her sister who’s currently imitating a garden statue. “I’ve asked for a leave of absence from my internship, and respectfully request the same for Autumn.”

  Lack of details suggests something personal, but when Sydney mentions her father, I can’t help wondering if he decided to pull Autumn from the program because I was too soft on her.

  “I’m sorry, Autumn.” This from my mother, tone heavy with sympathy. “Of course you may have time off. As much as you need, and don’t worry about anything here, all right?”

  She can’t go. Not yet. What if she doesn’t come back? There are too many things left unsaid between us. I don’t want to be insensitive. Especially if someone she cares about is in trouble, but I have to know. “Autumn, is this … is your father upset about the internship? Your work here? Because—”

  “It’s my mother,” she says. “She’s come back.”

  I blink as if I’ve been hit broadside with a boat oar. No one else in the room knows what I do about her past, yet it doesn’t seem necessary. The room falls silent under her statement, as ominous as it is mysterious. “Do you need … ” I nearly say me, but stop myself in time. “Is there anything we can do?”

  “Thanks, just a few days to sort some stuff out.”

  I’m three feet from her but don’t remember walking over here. The changing emotions on her face draw me in, keep me guessing. I plead with my eyes, but I don’t even know what I’m asking her for. Permission to hold her, power to change the past, for her to love me back. The color ebbs from her face. I swear, a light breeze would push her over.

  “Come on, munchkin.” Sydney breaks the spell when she tugs Autumn’s sleeve.

  Cold descends on me like a shadow. I watch, helpless to comfort her as she retreats up the steps. They brush past Alex who stands mid-way up the staircase. He slides his hand over her arm. Did she give him a second chance, or say goodbye? Will her decision change if she thinks I’m with Piper now? A hollow feeling widens in the pit of my stomach because I never got to explain, and have no one but myself to blame.

  “What was that about?” Quinn asks.

  Dex and I take the two empty seats closest, and everyone resumes their place around the table. Anxious faces track my every move. They’re looking to me for answers that aren’t mine to give. While Autumn never asked me to keep her story secret, she’s a private person. I want to honor that, but I won’t get out of here without saying something.

  My fingers thread my hair as I slouch in my chair. “Their mother’s been away a long time.”

  “How sad,” Jesse says.

  Quinn wraps his arm around his wife’s shoulder and draws her closer. “Why? Was she in jail?”

  “Quinn!” The whole table erupts.

  “Oh come on. No one else considered that?”

  I give my oldest brother an exasperated look. “I’m sure it’s nothing like that.”

  Dexter’s eyebrows rise. “You’re sure because you know, don’t you?” His question sounds like a demand. What’s gotten into my easygoing brother tonight?

  “She left them. When they were little, not that it’s your business. They’re going home to meet a virtual stranger.” I look my brother dead in the eye, making sure he knows I’m done sharing.

  “Caden’s right, Dex. If the girls want to talk about it, they will. No one should pressure them. Let’s hope it’s a joyful reunion. No matter the beginning, everyone deserves a happy ending.” Mom winks at me before resting her chin in her palm. The light from the chandelier is honest, showing the deepening lines at the corners of her eyes. I hadn’t noticed her getting older. Hadn’t seen the strength and courage in her face, either. Characteristics earned with time. I suppose I’ve always known it, but I have the conscious thought now that I truly admire her.

  Mother straightens, life springing again into her movements. “Why don’t we have a big cookout when Autumn gets back? We’ll celebrate her success at Moo. I’ve got plenty of thick venison steaks left.”

  “Meat.” Quinn snorts. “With meat sides. Autumn will love that.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” The fact she wants to honor Autumn with a party goes a long way to show she’s willing to support my choices. “I think she’d really appreciate that. And so do I.”

  One by one, everyone goes to bed. Piper lingers. At first, I think she’ll say something, or I should, but in the end I guess it’s all been said, and she silently trails my family upstairs.

  The feel of the house changes with deepening shadows. Rooms make sounds that only belong to night, including mine. Clocks tick until they chime. The dogs’ nails tap on wood floors. I toss and turn thinking about Autumn in the other room with her sister. How is she dealing? What will she find at home? Should I try talking with her before she leaves?

  Around five, Alex makes his way downstairs. I know because I do my Mission Impossible imitation again, and stand behind my mostly closed door hopi
ng to catch Autumn on her way out. I feel ridiculous spying on the stair landing like some lovesick groupie waiting for a glimpse of his crush.

  But that’s not why I want to see her.

  Its killing me, thinking of the day she has ahead—the next few days, actually. I want to offer support, be her friend. It’s also bugging the shit out of me that I don’t know what went down with her and Alex, or that I couldn’t clear the air about her internship, or Piper.

  When I hear her door open, I bolt for the hall.

  “Hey.” Sydney and Autumn startle. Her amber eyes dart over me, wary. “Sorry. I know you’re in a hurry, but can I see you for a second?” Time won’t allow me to say all I wanted to, but at least she’ll know I care.

  “We have to go,” Sydney says, irritation coating that cartoon squeak of hers.

  “One minute?”

  “Starting now … ”

  Yes! I play it cool, underreact. “Thank you, Sydney.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” She sends me an exaggerated eye roll before lifting Aud’s bag from her shoulder, looping it over her own, and marching downstairs. “Make it quick. Alex has a plane to catch.”

  Yeah, you go on and catch that plane, buddy boy. Taking Autumn’s hand, I lead her into my room. Back against the wall just inside the doorway, she’s breathing too fast, and her fingers twine. She lifts her head, eyes lit up with independent fire, proving she’s got plenty of fight left in her. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  I’m drawn to her like a moon around Saturn. Bracing my forearm against the wall over her head, my free hand brushes the loose hair off her face. “Are you okay?”

  “All good.” Her answer is breathy. Is she nervous?

  I want to touch her, protect her, but I don’t have the right. “Is there anything I can do? Is Alex … ?”

  She shrugs, glancing at the doorway. “We’re not together if that’s what you’re asking.” I could kiss her right. Damn. Now. “He’s going home, with my blessing for a bright and happy tomorrow.”

  I laugh, but it sounds unsteady. “Listen—”

  “I have to go.”

  “I know.” And I do. There’s so much to say, and it’s neither the time nor the place to say them. I don’t want to be selfish, holding her here. Yet, the thought of Autumn meeting her mother alone knifes me. Sure, her sister will be there, but I’m not sure I understand whether their relationship is good or bad. Will Sydney have her back? “I hate letting you go like this.” She closes her eyes, giving me permission to study how beautiful she is. Not that I wasn’t doing that anyway. My mind traces the outline of her face. I imagine my fingers moving over her cheek, down to her mouth, and can almost feel the softness of her lips under my fingertips.

  “Autumn?” Sydney stage whispers from the stairway.

  “I’m sorry,” I say. “I want to help. What can I do?” Her eyes open. Black lashes fan up, almost to her brows. Undone, I lower my head, grazing her full lips with mine. If there isn’t time to tell her how I feel, I’ll show her. Autumn’s quick breaths cover my skin in some frosty combo of mint or wintergreen. I bite her lower lip gently with my teeth, then fit my mouth to hers. First, slow and tentative, until her hands slide over my hips, and I deepen the kiss. The warmth flooding my body surprises me. My heart thuds in my chest. Arms move around her back, holding her closer.

  “Autumn!” Sydney’s hiss divides us. The girl I love pushes my chest and all but flies from the room.

  “You can let me be, Caden,” she says, voice growing fainter.

  Left alone in the dim light of my room, I draw the back of my hand across my lips, still tingling from our kiss. My arms keep the memory of her body, the feel of her skin on mine. Her perfume hangs in the air, a tantalizing echo of the girl I just held. If I live to one hundred, I’ll never forget.

  ***

  At two p.m., I’m sitting on the front porch swing, watching the rain, and listening to Amos Lee’s Over the Rainbow because Autumn loves the song. It’s final. I’m a cliché. A friggin’ girl. It occurs to me I’m one of them now—the dogs who fall for cats. A sappy, brokenhearted convert like all the other whipped guys out there.

  I mentally slap myself. Okay, that’s enough.

  She’s been gone nine hours, and we didn’t talk. Well, that’s not true, we did, sort of. For a minute.

  The screen door slams, and regrets are thrust aside. Dexter saunters out, yawning and patting his stomach at the same time—like an orangutan.

  “Good morning, sweetheart.”

  I nod and bite my tongue, but only because he gave Guitar-god a ride to the airport before dawn.

  “You owe me, little brother. Trapped in the car of doom with Autumn, who said nothing to anyone, by the way. Her skinny emo ex, who starred out the window the whole time—creepily without blinking, I might add. And Sydney, the only normal person in the car, besides me. She is the only reason I’m letting you live after that freak show car ride.”

  I don’t point out that Sydney is far from normal, because if I don’t answer, I’m hoping he’ll go the hell away. Undeterred, Dex lumbers over to the swing like an unwanted behemoth. Old wood creaks beneath his weight as he sits “So? Where do things stand with you and Piper? A bit awkward explaining how you came to date your step-sister, but after a while, people will stop asking and just talk about it behind your back.” I glare. He grins. I consider hitting him, but what’s the use. I might as well punch a train.

  “I might have detected a rather intense convo happening on the landing between you and Autumn before we left. Care to share?”

  Wise men do not share relationship fiascos with creatures like Loki.

  Rain falls harder. “You know … ” Dex rubs his beard. “Today might be a good day for a drive.” My eyes narrow, not sure what he’s hinting at and afraid to guess. “How about Georgia? I hear Macon’s nice.”

  What? “You or me?”

  “You. Or us.” He shrugs with a laugh. “Hell, I don’t know.”

  No way. “What are you thinking, man? I saw you yesterday, drooling over Sydney like some knuckle-dragger. Things are complicated enough between me and Autumn without you breaking her sister’s heart. You’re not messing this up for me with one of your quickie hook ups.”

  An explosion of red detonates behind my eyelids followed by the most excruciating pain and the odd sensation of floating. When I finally pry my eyes open, I’m flat on my back staring up at my stupid-ass brother. The porch swing rocks as though a hurricane unleashed its power on us. Palming my jaw, I test to see if everything still works.

  “Never talk about Sydney that way,” Dex says. “You don’t know her.”

  And you do? I think, but don’t say anything. There’s only one reason a guy like Dex hits his brother that hard. “You just met her!” Ow. Note to self: yelling hurts immediately after a right cross.

  “And?” His weight shifts. “What’s your point?”

  I can’t think of two personalities less suited to each other. Okay, maybe I can.

  “Well, I’ll be damned,” I mumble. Dex holds out a hand. My jaw hurts like hell. Pride, too, but I take the offered help, my boots scrapping the floorboards as I rise. “They got to you, too, huh?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The stink-eye he’s giving me proves otherwise. Another dog falls prey to the cat pride. “I might want to know her better at some point. That’s all I’m saying.”

  “Hmm.” It aches like the devil to smile, but worth it.

  His fingers massage his neck, stretching it out. I guess he pulled a muscle when he swung. Good. “Now, are you going to go get your girl, or sit here and write a poem about it?”

  “Shut up.” No one wants to be in Macon more than I do. And I can’t say the idea hasn’t crossed my mind because it has. More than once. But I’ve seen how this works. It’s one of those deals where if a girl likes you, and wants you around, the gesture is romantic, even heroic. You’re damn Iron Man if you show up unannounced. But if the girl isn
’t into you … face it, you’re a pathetic loser at best, creepy stalker at worst.

  “ … let me be, Caden.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “City boy rides into town and steals your goat-milk maid. It makes a great country song.” Dexter crosses his arms, with a superior expression. I’m betting this is a bad idea. When does Dexter’s advice work out? Never, that’s when. But the truth is I’m past thinking straight when it comes to Autumn. If there’s even a chance I could be the guy she’d lean on, I want to be there for her. “All right, I’ll go, but if this backfires, I’m holding you personally responsible.”

  “Not gonna happen, bro.” He pounds me on the back, and I shove him off. “I could always tag along, if you want. Keep you company. Check on Sydney.”

  I shake my head. “Not a snowball’s chance.” He’s known her two whole days. Course, I’ve experienced firsthand the lightning bolt a Teslow girl can deliver.

  He smiles to show he’s just kidding. Sort of. “I’m on your side for this one. She’ll want you there, trust me.” He seems a lot more convinced than I am.

  29

  Autumn

  At my father’s insistence, I’m standing in our formal living room, wearing the same black dress I wore to the job fair weeks ago. I didn’t argue this time. My appearance is a reflection of him and the job he did raising me. I get it. Besides, I’ve got bigger problems today than what I’m wearing.

  By choice, I’m bringing part of the new me to this meeting. My Cleopatra eyeliner is gone, along with my signature ponytail and hat. The bracelets covering both arms stay. Some of what I learned from Caden, Jesse, and even the work at the farm in general is rooted deep within me now. Balance. Their gift to me this summer. And I’m thankful.