Daring Chloe

by Walker, Laura Jensen

  After she locked her vehicle, Annette yawned. “I don’t know about y’all,” she said, “but I’m ready for bed.” She picked up her industrial-sized flashlight. “Anyone want to hike to the bathroom with me first?”

  “Count me in, Mom. I shouldn’t have had that second soda.”

  “Actually, we should all use the restroom before we turn in,” Tess advised. “Cuts down on having to get up in the middle of the night and make that trek alone.”

  That was all I needed to hear. This camper didn’t plan on flying solo in the dark of night out here in the wild. Once we returned to our tents, Tess tossed me one of the air mattresses to stick under my sleeping bag.

  “What? You think I’m a wuss or something?”

  “Does a bear poop in the woods?”

  “Don’t even mention the B-word,” I said as I climbed into Timmy’s down-filled sleeping bag.

  “You tell her, Chloe,” Kailyn called out from the condo tent. “I vote for a moratorium on that word the rest of the weekend.”

  “Preach it, baby girl,” Annette’s voice wafted over to us. “Good night everyone.”

  “Good night, Ma; good night, Pa; good night, Mary Ellen; good night, John-boy,” Paige sang out.

  “Oh, put a sock in it,” Becca grumbled from her pup tent next to ours. “And nobody’d better snore, either.”

  I sent up a heartfelt prayer before going to sleep. Father, please protect us from bears and raccoons and any other wild creatures in the night, four-legged or otherwise. I know you made them all, but could you please make sure they stay in the forest where they belong? Amen.

  13

  Pretty soon I wanted to smoke, and asked the widow to let me. But she wouldn’t. That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it. Here she was a-bothering about Moses, which was no kin to her . . . yet finding a power of fault with me for doing a thing that had some good in it. And she took snuff, too; of course that was all right, because she done it herself.

  The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

  “Chloe,” Tess whispered. “Did you by any chance have beans today?”

  “That’s not me. It’s your son’s air mattress.”

  I was shifting in my cousin’s sleeping bag. Every time I turned on my side, a little whooshing sound escaped from beneath my hip.

  “A likely story,” Becca said sleepily from just outside our tent wall.

  Jenna snorted.

  “Shhh. Some people are trying to get their beauty sleep.”

  Half an hour later, everyone was asleep. Except me.

  Since counting sheep never worked, I played out the evening in my mind instead, smiling to myself at the image of a young Annette in basic training standing at attention and getting her eyebrows plucked. I rubbed my bushy brows. Time to do a little plucking of my own.

  I stifled a giggle as I remembered Kailyn trying to make nice with Rocky Raccoon with the graham crackers. And then all at once, I bolted upright to a sitting position as I remembered that I’d dropped my marshmallows into the fire when the raccoon’s moving eyes frightened me.

  Had anyone picked them up and thrown them away? Or were they still on the ground calling out to Yogi Bear and Boo-Boo in all their sticky sweet smellingness?

  Quit being so neurotic, city girl.

  Sinking back into my sleeping bag, I laid flat on my back, staring up at the drab olive tent fabric and wishing for a moon roof so I could see the stars. Why couldn’t I get to sleep? I never had any problems at home. I thought longingly of my silky soft, six-hundred-thread-count sheets I’d saved up to buy for my own Valentine’s Day present, along with a box of See’s chocolates.

  Chocolate.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have had that last hot chocolate.

  But I’d been pretty good at holding it when we were on long family trips in the car when I was a little girl, focusing in on something else so I’d be distracted from my bodily need, usually a book.

  I picked up my copy of Heidi, switched on my flashlight, and tried to lose myself in the lush Alps with Heidi, Peter the goat boy, and the grumpy Grandfather who couldn’t help but fall in love with his kind, sweet-natured granddaughter. The description of the warm goat’s milk did me in.

  “Tess,” I whispered. “Are you awake?”

  A light snore was my only response.

  I shoved Heidi aside and scrambled out of my sleeping bag, flashlight clenched tightly in my hand and sending a bouncing ball up and down the tent walls. Shoving my feet into my tennis shoes at the foot of my makeshift bed, I grabbed my hoodie and stumbled through the tent flap toward Becca’s pup tent.

  “Hey, Bec.” I leaned into the tiny tent and shook her shoulder. “Wake up.”

  She came at me, arms flailing, fists clenched, and snarling, knocking the flashlight out of my hand.

  “Ouch!”

  “Chloe?”

  “I have to go to the bathroom,” I whispered.

  “So what’s stopping you?”

  “I don’t want to go alone in the dark. I’ll get lost. Or worse yet, run into another skunk or a raccoon or a mountain lion. Or even a — ” But I couldn’t bring myself to say the B-word.

  Becca sighed and unzipped herself the rest of the way out of her sleeping bag. “Come on wussy woman. The sooner we go, the sooner we can get back to sleep.” She clicked on her flashlight and splayed the beam over the ground, searching for the one she’d knocked out of my hands. “There it is — over there. See? Now hurry up.”

  My bladder made me only too glad to obey. I grabbed the fallen flashlight and switched it on. And as I did, a daddy long legs scurried down the shaft and across my hand. I dropped the flashlight again and swatted frantically at my hands.

  “Now what?”

  “Spider!” I squeaked.

  “Oy vey.” Becca picked up my flashlight, thrust it into my hands, and yanked me forward to begin the dark, lonesome trek to the facilities. I tripped over a root and nearly went down, but righted myself just in time.

  “Remind me again why camping is fun?” I whispered.

  The next morning, I woke up freezing with a crick in my neck and needing to go to the bathroom again.

  “Good morning, everyone,” Tess sang out. “Are we all happy campers today?”

  “Speak for yourself.” I grabbed my towel and bag of toiletries and stalked off to the rustic bathroom, which turned out to be a little closer in the daytime. After using the facility, washing my hands and face, and giving my wilderness-filmed teeth a thorough brushing, I rolled my head from side to side until my neck cracked.

  “Better now?” Paige, who’d also finished her morning ablutions, asked.

  I swatted away a pesky fly. “I’d be even better if I were home in my climate-controlled condo with screens on the windows, indoor plumbing, and a soft, comfortable bed to sleep in.”

  “You and me both. Face it: we’re just not the great outdoors types like Jenna, Becca, and Tess.”

  “You got that right. Although, Tess is actually more of a Renaissance woman. She can do anything — all this outdoor, athletic junk, but cultural stuff too. She loves music, fine dining, the theater, and art. She really knows a lot about art.”

  “I can’t wait for her to show us around Paris.” Paige bubbled with excitement. “Now that’s a trip I’m looking forward to.”

  Me too. All except for that flying part. Thank you, God, for Xanax.

  “Hey, you two.” Annette and Kailyn met us on the path, each lugging a makeup case and toiletry kit, their towels flung over their shoulders. “Any hot water left?”

  “Left?” I grunted. “There wasn’t any to begin with.”

  Tess joined us, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Annoyingly so. “How’d you all sleep last night in your fancy new tent?”

  “Pretty good,” Annette said, blotting beads of perspiration from her forehead with her towel.

  “Not bad,” Kailyn grudgingly admitted.

  “Grea
t,” Paige said. “It was surprisingly comfortable — especially with the air mattress.”

  I rubbed my neck. “Wish I could say the same thing.”

  “We’ve got plenty of room. Why don’t you sleep with us tonight?” Annette offered.

  “Really?” I looked at Tess. “Would you mind if I abandoned you?”

  “Not at all. Gives me more room to spread out.”

  Becca jogged up. “Hey, Jenna said to tell you she’s starting breakfast, so you’d better hurry.” She glanced at Kailyn’s open tote bag. “You brought a blow dryer camping? Really roughing it there, aren’t you?”

  Kailyn shot a disdainful look at Becca’s bed head hair. “You never know who you’re going to meet in the woods. And a girl should always be prepared. Isn’t that the Girl Scout motto?” She flounced toward the bathroom.

  Fifteen minutes later we were finishing up our muffins and the scrambled eggs that Jenna had cooked on the camp stove when Annette and Kailyn returned to the campsite, skin glowing and not a hair out of place.

  Tess whistled. “Got a hot date or something?”

  “Yeah, with the coffee pot.” Annette hustled over to the fire. “Any left?”

  “We’ll need to boil some more water.” Paige held up a jar of brown crystals. “Sorry, but we’ve only got instant.”

  “That’s really roughing it. Hang tight, Mom. I’ve got a little surprise for you.” Kailyn headed to the condo tent and emerged moments later, proudly extending a coffee grinder and a Krups coffeemaker to Annette. “Ta-da!”

  “Um, not wanting to burst your bubble,” Paige said, “but didn’t you see City Slickers? Where the guy brought his coffee grinder on the cattle drive and spooked all the cattle when he turned it on? We probably don’t want to be too loud out here in nature.”

  “Yeah. Respect the environment,” Jenna said.

  “You respect the environment. I’m having my coffee.”

  “Not unless there’s an electrical outlet on one of these trees.”

  “Oh.” Kailyn sat down hard on a redwood stump and kicked the dirt at her feet. “Stupid nature.”

  After all the food was secured in the coolers again and locked in the car, we headed out on our hike through the redwoods with Becca, Jenna, and Tess leading the way. Paige, Kailyn, Annette, and I brought up the rear on the wheelchair-accessible trail.

  I gazed up at the ancient trees on either side of us, mesmerized by their sheer size and beauty. And age. What was it Annette had said? That some of them had been standing when Jesus walked the earth? I reached out my hand to touch the rough bark.

  “Ow!” Kailyn yelped.

  “What’s wrong?” We stopped so abruptly I collided with Paige.

  “I broke a nail!”

  “Quick, call the Mounties,” Becca said. “Or better yet, Ranger Rick at Fashion Emergency 911. Maybe he’ll have nail glue in his first aid kit. If not, we might have to send you to basic training beauty school instead.”

  “That’s one school you’d flunk out of,” Kailyn snarked.

  “Now girls — ”

  “Shh.” I lifted my head. “What’s that noise?” I whispered. “I hear a rustling.”

  “Again with the rustling?” Tess looked at me over her glasses.

  “It’s probably just my Rocky Raccoon pal from last night,” Kailyn said as she examined her torn pinkie nail.

  “I don’t think so.” The sound increased from a mere rustle to a full-on crashing through brush. “A raccoon wouldn’t make that much noise.”

  “Maybe it’s Bambi? Or his mother?”

  “Is Bambi big and black?” Paige stared beyond me into the woods.

  “Not the last time I looked,” Tess said.

  “Well, there’s something big and black out there.”

  “Where?”

  She pointed to a large black shadow weaving in and out of the trees as it galumphed through the forest alongside us.

  Tracking us.

  Sniffing us.

  Playing with us.

  Any minute now the dreaded B-word would come crashing through the underbrush and have a little Chloe or Kailyn for dinner. Except . . . maybe it wasn’t a bear at all. Maybe it was a wolf. A rabid wolf with yellow eyes and huge, snarling fangs dripping with blood from his last kill.

  My practical side took over. Imagination run away with you much? Stop being such a wuss. This isn’t the seventies, baby. Step up to the plate.

  We could hear the creature panting heavily now. It was getting closer — its hot breath just yards away.

  All at once it came crashing through the trees toward us.

  Instinctively, I stepped in front of Annette and Kailyn; fists raised and ready to fight the beast off with my bare hands — although I wouldn’t have minded a baseball bat or my heavy flashlight back in the tent.

  The beast, however, turned out to be a gigantic slobbering Newfoundland with a wagging tail and a big, goofy dog grin on his face. I lowered my shaking arms, dropped to my knees, and buried my head in the friendly dog’s fur in relief.

  “Traveler, where are you? Here, boy.” Our hippie campfire neighbor appeared out of the woods, laughing.

  “Dude. I see you’ve met Traveler. Hope he’s not bothering you.”

  “No,” I said, blowing a stray dog hair out of my mouth. “We were just afraid he was a bear coming for his dinner.”

  “The only way Traveler could hurt you was to lick you to death.”

  I wiped some dog drool off my arm. “Yeah, I see that.”

  Part 5

  14

  I’ll always say my prayers after this, as Grandmamma told me to, and if God doesn’t answer them at once I shall know it’s because He’s planning something better for me.

  Heidi

  What was God planning for me? I thought I’d heard his voice when I said yes to Chris’s proposal, but maybe that was just water in my ear. I had just finished taking a swim in my parents’ pool.

  After squealing yes to Chris’s proposal in the shallow end, we’d told my family and celebrated with a bottle of champagne. Then Chris left to tell Ryan the good news.

  “Honey, are you sure?” Dad asked as he walked me to my car later. “You two haven’t known each other that long.”

  “Neither did you and mom when you got married. And look how that turned out.”

  He held up his hands in mock surrender. “You got me there.” He hugged me. “I just want you to be happy.”

  “I am. Don’t worry. And don’t worry about going bankrupt either with both daughters getting married in the same year. Maybe your golf club can give you a two-for-one special,” I teased.

  Just not a double wedding. No way was I going to share my big day with my sister. Besides, I already knew she was planning a big fancy blow-out. And small and simple was more my style.

  Of course, styles can change. For instance, it’s never been my style to stand up to rampaging carnivorous beasts in the woods, so who’d have thought I’d step between my friends and that bear. Er, dog.

  “I still can’t believe how brave you were, Chloe,” Kailyn said at book club a couple weeks later. “How you stood up to what you thought was a bear, ready to protect me and my mom. I take back everything I ever said about you being afraid of everything.”

  “Hear, hear.” Jenna clapped.

  Tess smiled. “I always knew you’d rise to the occasion.”

  Annette grabbed her umbrella from beneath the table we’d commandeered in one corner of the Dunkeld’s café. She tapped it lightly on my left shoulder and then my right. “I hereby dub thee Chloe the Brave!”

  Everyone stood and raised their lattes high. “To Chloe the Brave.”

  “Sit down. You’re embarrassing me.” Although I must admit, it was a good embarrassment. All my life I’d been known as Chloe the Timid, Chloe the Fearful, Chloe, the Non – Risk Taker. It was nice to know that I wasn’t as much of a wuss as everyone — including me — had always thought. Maybe it was time to start taking some risks
in other areas of my life too.

  Like daring to wear white after Labor Day.

  Getting a tattoo on my ankle. A small cross, I think.

  Confronting Becca about not doing her fair share around the apartment.

  Flying.

  I drew the line at sushi though. Some mountains just aren’t worth dying on.

  As I raised a forkful of turtle cheesecake up to my mouth, I spied someone in the sci-fi section giving me a thoughtful look. Did the guy live in the bookstore or what? He nodded at me and turned away. Becca gave Ryan an appraising once-over. “It’s too bad he was going to be the best man, ’cause he’s seriously hot.”

  “I’ll say. If only I were twenty years younger,” Tess said.

  “Hey, could we stop thinking about men for a minute and get back to the business at hand?” Kailyn rapped her French-manicured nails on the table.

  “Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?”

  “What?” Kailyn stuck out her lower lip. “I just want to discuss our latest book. That’s why we’re here. Right?”

  “Right.” Tess drained her latte. “Okay, everyone, listen up. Kailyn has the floor.”

  “Thanks. So — ”

  Just then, Paige rushed up, pulled a chair over from a neighboring table, and sat down, all out of breath. “Sorry I’m late. I had to pick up a prescription for my mom and the pharmacist took forever, then I had to drop it off at her house on the way here, and while I was there, she needed me to pull down a few things from the top of a bookshelf, including Mr. Spitz, her cat.” She blew out her cheeks. “Did I miss anything?”

  “Just Chloe’s knighthood into the Order of the Brave.”

  “Ignore the woman behind the curtain.” I pushed a bottle of water to Paige. “Actually, Kailyn was just opening the book club discussion. Kailyn?”

  “Thanks, Chloe. Glad you made it, Paige. I was just about to ask everyone what they thought of Heidi.”