by Lisa Gerkey
I hear the water running, but I can’t look away from the mirror. My eyes are dull and emotionless. My skin is pasty and pale. I’m boring and ugly.
Chapter Thirteen
Josh
“Kennedy, honey, don’t…”
I’m getting everything ready for her bath when I look up and see her looking in the mirror. I want to concentrate on her future instead of the way things are now. I know it’s essential to acknowledge things, and things are not good. She’s hit rock bottom. Up is the only place left for her to go.
She pays no attention when I talk to her. She’s lost in her head.
“Kennedy, come here and get in the tub. Soak for a while. I promise things will be better. It’s going to take time.”
She finally turns around to face me. She’s coming down from the drugs. She fidgets, and her hands shake. It’ll get worse, much worse before it gets better.
“Look at me. I don’t know why you’re wasting your time with me. Don’t you have a girlfriend? I thought you were getting married soon.”
“Don’t you remember what I told you on the way here? Staci and I broke up. I’m where I want to be right now. I’m looking at you. You’re beautiful, Kennedy. You’ll see it one day.”
I take two steps to stand in front of her. I tug the bottom of her shirt.
“Arms up.”
I expect her to argue, but she lifts her arms so I can pull the shirt over her head. I don’t hide that I’m looking at her.
“If things were different, I would cup these gorgeous tits with my palms, and then I’d pinch both of your nipples between my fingers and thumbs until you moaned and squirmed for me to do more. My cock is hard right now. I’m attracted to you, and I want you. I know I can’t have you. Not until we get you in a better place.”
I release the button and unzip her jeans and push them and her panties over her hips and kneel to get them off. I don’t have enough willpower to tell her what I would do to her pussy, so I focus on getting her in the tub.
“So, you want to fuck me.”
“We can start by saying that’s an accurate statement, yeah. It won’t happen. At least until you want it as much as I do. Come here. Get in the tub. While you relax for a few minutes, I’ll heat you some soup.”
I’ve done research and talked to a handful of people to get advice on the best way to help Kennedy. The first few days will be pure hell for her…and for me too, probably. I’m determined to get her to a better place.
Something clicked between Kennedy and me in Memphis. I plan on figuring out what it is.
***
We make it through the first several days of detox. I won’t lie, I’m bored to death sitting around the cabin, but I can’t leave Kennedy’s side, not even for a little while. She spent the first days sleeping, crying, cursing, and puking, and then doing it all over again. I’ve kept her on a strict schedule with over-the-counter meds to help ease her symptoms.
I place two plates of food on the table. When she sits down at the table, I can tell she’s in a better place today.
“How are you feeling?”
“I feel like I need to get away from here for a while.”
She’s still angry with me. I expect nothing different.
“Well, it’s your lucky day. You have a couple of appointments this afternoon.”
“I’m not a child. You can’t force me to do anything.”
“Fine. I can reschedule the appointments with the doctor and the dentist. We can sit here and look at the walls. I’m sure eventually you’ll be ready to see things my way.”
She eats a few bites of toast and scrambled eggs. I want her to eat more, but it’s a start.
“If you can cooperate with me a little, I’ll take you to Nashville this weekend. We’ll visit your sister.”
“Who the hell appointed you my new guardian? I’m a fucking adult. I can do what I want to.”
“Let me help you. I want to, Kennedy. I know you can legally do what you want…as long as it’s legal, but I want you to accept my help.”
“Why do you care so much? I don’t understand.”
“I don’t understand it either, but I do.”
***
“Are you okay?” I reach across the console and take Kennedy’s hand in mine. We’re about ten minutes away from my apartment in Nashville. I’d planned to bring her here a week ago, but things took a little longer. I’m proud as hell of her because she’s come so far.
“I don’t think I’ve been this clear-headed since before my parents died. I…I have a lot of making up to do with Jaycee.”
“Hey now, don’t get negative. Jaycee is proud of you. She loves you very much.”
“I know. I just wish I hadn’t been so stupid…”
I park my truck in front of my apartment building and look over at Kennedy in the passenger seat. She looks healthier already. All day, I’ve thought about kissing her. When she came out of the bedroom this morning, dressed in the new jeans and blouse I got her, my cock responded favorably. Her body fills her clothes out just right now.
All her test results came back from the doctor. I know she’s clean. I also know it’s only a matter of time before I slide across the invisible line that’s between us.
I want her more than I’ve ever wanted any woman.
We’ll probably run into Staci while we’re here. I’m not looking forward to it, but I did the right thing by breaking things off with her. She’ll hate me, but I think she’d hate me more if we went through with the wedding. I don’t love her.
Will I ever love anyone?
All depends if she’s ever willing to let me love her and if she can love me back.
Shit. I shake my head and look away from Kennedy. I shouldn’t have these thoughts. It’s too soon.
“You ready to see where I live? We’ll take our bags in, and then we’ll go find your sister.”
“Are you going to show me where you work?”
“We’ll get there, but…I’m not sure I’m going to work there anymore. I have a few ideas I’d like to consider. The tattoo shop is my brother’s dream. I followed in his footsteps because it was the most comfortable option at the time, I guess.”
Kennedy doesn’t wait for me to open her door. She hops out of the truck the same time as me. We each grab our own bag from the backseat. I take her hand and lead her with me to the apartment. I hate to let go when I have to dig the key out of my pocket to open the door.
“This is so much more like you than the cabin.” Kennedy laughs when she sees my messy place. It’s not dirty. I’ve just never been excellent at hiding the clutter.
“Yeah, sorry about the mess. I guess I like to read a little.” I pick the books up off the couch so she can sit down, but she drops her bag on the couch and continues to look around.
“Is this you and your brother?” she points to a picture on the bookshelf. It’s one of the few photos of us when we were still in elementary school.
“Yep.”
“You’re the cute one.”
I chuckle. It’s good to see her letting go and just being…Kennedy.
“You think I’m cute, huh?”
She looks at me. I would think she’s been around enough that nothing would faze her, so I’m surprised and pleased when I see her cheeks turn bright red. My jeans grow a little uncomfortable.
“Are you blushing, Kennedy?”
“Stop, Josh. It isn’t funny.”
I follow her when she turns to walk into another room to get away from me, but she doesn’t know her way around my apartment. She ends up in my bedroom.
I close the door, so we’re both inside my personal space. Just me and Kennedy…and my bed.
“What if I don’t want to stop?”
I step closer. She steps back. We do this until she’s stopped by the bed behind her knees. “Answer me, Kennedy. What if I don’t want to stop?”
“I…I don’t know.”
I skim the back of my hand down the side of her face.
“You should probably tell me to stop.”
Her eyes meet mine. “Stop what?”
I move my hand behind to cup her neck, my thumb resting on her soft face. “If you don’t tell me to stop, I’m going to kiss you.”
I move my face closer to hers, never losing eye contact.
“Oh.”
At last, my lips are on hers. I’ve never experienced this much passion in a first kiss with anyone. She doesn’t hesitate to open so I can slip my tongue in to taste her. Her hands are on my shoulders, and she’s pulling me to her. My cock jerks against my zipper. I’ve never wanted anyone so much.
Kennedy pushes her body further into me. Would it be so wrong to give us both a little taste? She’s been drug-free for days, so her head’s clear now. She wants this as much as I do. I slow the kiss down and nip her lips gently, and then I pull back.
“My cock is telling me to keep going, but my head is telling me we need to slow down and take it slow, baby.”
She closes her eyes, and her head falls against my chest. Even though I’ve taken care of her for days, I’ve helped her bathe and dress, this is the most contact we’ve had, and this is the first time it’s been about anything more than me helping her.
“I’ve never been with anyone because it’s what I wanted, Josh. I don’t know how to do it. I only know how to let men use me. This feels different.”
“Whatever happens between us will be because we both want it.”
I wrap my arms tight around her and hold her close. The ache from wanting her still lingers between us, pressed against her stomach.
“I don’t know what I want because I don’t know what this even is. I guess I just want more of this. It won’t last though. How can anything good last when there’s something so terrible out there waiting for me?”
“We’ll get through everything, Kennedy. We’re in the right place to find people to help us. You just got to trust me a little.”
I’m hoping Jaycee can talk her into letting Grant and his brother, Jon, help her. They’re both former military. They run a security business here in Nashville. They do private investigative work along with offering protection to those who need it. I don’t know the details of everything they do. I think no one does. It’s been a rumor they help the local police and even the feds with cases.
Grant and Jon aren’t afraid to do the dirty work it takes to bring sick assholes down, and that is what we’re dealing with now. Whoever took Kennedy out into those woods and tried to kill her is the worst kind of bastard there is.
“When are we going to see Jaycee?”
“Well, The Grind is open tonight, so she and Grant will probably be there later. We can run by their house before that, or we could drop in at the club. You ever been to a sex club, doll?”
“No! I don’t want to think about my sister that way. That doesn’t sound like Jaycee, at least not the way I knew her.”
I lean back so I can look at Kennedy. I brush her hair back and tuck it behind her ear. “Jaycee went through hell. She had to deal with her ex and the kidnapping. She wouldn’t be where she is now if Grant hadn’t helped her. They’re good together. Besides, I think she mostly just hangs out in the office and stuff, so I don’t think you’ll have to worry about any inappropriate behavior coming from your sister.”
She might need to worry about me. Just a little. It’s no secret I’ve spent a lot of time at The Grind. Unfortunately, a lot of that time includes Staci which I don’t want to get into, so I avoid talking to Kennedy about my experiences with sex clubs. Perhaps, I’ll wait and show her. I am a member and Thursday night is guest night, so I’ll have no problem getting her inside with me.
“What would I even wear to a place like that?”
“Well, it is a sex club, so you don’t have to wear anything.” I wink at her and smirk, so she knows I’m only joking. For the most part.
I let go of her and take a few steps back. The moment is over, but the urge is still as persistent as ever. I know we must take care of a few things first before things go any further between us.
Chapter Fourteen
Kennedy
When we arrive at the club, I find nothing I was expecting. From the outside, it looks like a historic mansion.
I still yearn for the drugs. I don’t know if it will ever go away completely. When Josh pulls into the parking lot behind the club, I can’t help but look around to see if I see someone familiar. It need not be someone I know or even someone I’ve met before. I can spot a dealer almost anywhere, but the parking lot filled with vehicles is quiet.
“I’m nervous,” I tell Josh, so he’s aware that my shaky hands and my stumbling over words when I talk aren’t because of drugs or old habits.
I remember seeing Jaycee in Memphis, but it’s all foggy. The hospital after Jayson’s attack and the ride home that led to me stealing her money, I barely remember. The drugs had control of me. Tonight, I’ll be facing everyone with a clear head.
“You’ll be fine. Jaycee will be happy to see you. Just relax. If things are too much, we can leave at any time. I’m on your side, remember?”
I stay in place when Josh climbs down from the truck, and I wait until he walks around to open the passenger door. I grab hold of his hand and let him lead me to the door. To anyone that might see us, we probably look like a typical couple.
“Josh, how are you? We haven’t seen you around here in a while.” A big, ginger-haired man greets us at the door and scans a card Josh hands to him.
After everything’s taken care of at the door, Josh leads us down a hall and taps on a door. An attractive man with a close-cut beard and dark hair opens the door.
“Josh, what can I do for you?” Before Josh answers, the man scans his eyes over me quickly. I can tell he recognizes me. He steps out into the hall and closes the door behind him.
“Kennedy? What’s this all about? What are you doing here?”
His eyes dance back and forth, between Josh and me. He doesn’t seem happy we’re here.
“Calm down, Jon. Kennedy’s with me. I’ve been taking care of her. I think it’s time she saw her sister. I know you and Grant want to protect Jaycee from everything, especially now that she’s pregnant, but I promise there’s nothing here to hurt her. Kennedy’s doing great, and I plan on making sure it stays that way.”
Grant’s brother turns to me. “Is this true? We’ve always said we’d help you any way we can, but I have to protect my family. Do you have any idea how worried Jaycee’s been?
I look to Josh. I feel like a child being chastised by her father.
“Listen, I understand your anger, and I know you want to protect Jaycee, but I didn’t bring Kennedy here so you can make her feel bad. I want Jaycee to see that her sister is getting better. She’s getting the help she needs. I thought while we’re here, we could all sit down and talk with Kennedy about what happened in the woods. The motherfucker’s still out there, you know?”
I force myself to look up when the office door opens again. Grant and Jaycee come into the hallway. I’m sure they heard Josh and Jon’s raised voices and grew concerned.
“Kennedy! What’s going on?”
“I came here to tell you…I’m sorry, Jaycee. For everything.”
Without thinking, I reach out and lay my hand on Jaycee’s growing belly.
“Do you know what you’re having?”
“Not yet. We have an appointment next week. You could come with us if you want.”
“This is your happy time with Grant. I don’t want to ruin it for you.”
Grant opens his office door. “Let’s go inside and sit down. Have you talked to the police yet? I mean really talked to them.”
I shake my head. “No. I don’t know where to begin. So much has happened. A lot of it ended when David died, but…a whole new set of problems came up. David got me involved with an auction…you know, the one in Florida at the strip club where you got everything shut down?”
I sit down on a sofa before I tel
l them the rest.
“Someone bought me. I thought after the club was shut down and Devlin went to jail, it would all be over, but…the man who bought me…he found me. Jayson Phoenix. He talked about you, Jaycee. I know he was involved in the stuff that happened to you with Malcolm. They have the same last name, so I know they’re connected.”
“He’s Malcolm’s nephew. He got away when we busted Malcolm. We knew he had ties in other places. That’s more for the feds to figure out than for us to worry about. Our focus is on protecting the women, the victims.” Grant pulls a chair to sit in front of me while Josh sits on one side of me, and Jaycee on the other.
“He’s in Kentucky. I know he’s still close to where he tried to kill me that night. That’s where his girlfriend lives.”
“His girlfriend?” Grant questions.
“He talked about her all the time. He’s crazy. When he finds her, he’s going to hurt her, and then he’ll probably kill her.”
“Did he tell you her name?” Jon asks from the other side of the room.
“Lindsey.”
“Poor Lindsey,” Jaycee says from beside me. “She’s been through so much. She doesn’t deserve this.”
“I’ll see if I can get someone to keep an eye on her.” Grant seems concerned.
“Is this enough for now?” I direct my question to Josh.
“Yeah. We’ll walk around and explore the club. Come on.”
I get up to stand beside him. Everyone is watching us with curiosity.
“That’s okay, Josh. I…I don’t think that’s a good idea. My sister…”
“Your sister is going home. I’m going home, too. I promised my beautiful wife a bubble bath and foot massage. Troy’s in charge of the club tonight. You two go have fun.” Grant pulls Jaycee close to him. He’s crazy about her. She’s lucky.
Josh slides his arm around me and pulls me closer. Our eyes meet when I turn to him. He smirks, draws me even closer, and kisses my forehead.
“You seem so happy, Kennedy. I want us to spend some time together.” I pull away from Josh to hug my sister. It’s still a little awkward.
