by Lisa Gerkey
Josh doesn’t stop kissing me as he walks us to his bedroom. I barely notice the sound of things hitting the floor when we brush by the end table in the living room. He chuckles when we miss the bedroom door and hit the wall, causing a picture to fall and shatter. He lifts me so I can wrap my legs around his middle. He pushes my back against the wall and grinds against me.
I grip his muscled shoulder with one hand and run my fingers through his messy hair with the other. I shiver when he lays wet, open-mouthed kisses down the side of my neck. The pace we’re moving is crazy, reckless, but I love the rush. I’m lost in the moment. It doesn’t register we’ve moved until I land on the bed.
“I’m only going to say this once. You want to stop, all you need to do is tell me, okay?” He stops long enough to make sure I’m okay, and long enough he knows I understand I can stop it.
I don’t want it to end.
“I don’t want to stop, Josh. I want you. I’m sure. I want all of this…all of you.”
He nods his head and pulls open a drawer in the nightstand and takes out a condom. He tosses it on the bed and removes his clothes. I’m in awe when I see his sexy masculine chest. He isn’t gross and hairy like other men I’ve seen. A light dusting is all. I trace the line that travels from his belly button down to his gray boxer briefs. He lowers his underwear and his hard cock springs free.
I’m still wearing my tank top and shorts while he’s naked. He’s giving me every opportunity to back out, but I’m not going anywhere. I sit up and pull my top off and throw it to the floor. I wiggle my hips around to remove my shorts and toss them too.
“You’re fucking stunning, baby. You know that? I could get used to seeing this sight in my bed all the fucking time, Kennedy.”
I’m speechless, but it’s okay because I don’t think he expects me to say anything right now. He gets on the bed, and we both move to the middle.
Instead of kissing me again, he pulls my erect nipple between his lips and sucks and rolls his tongue over the tip. My lower body moves to find something it needs. He rolls over to lie beside me and rests his head on his hand, with his elbow holding him up on the bed.
Our eyes stay connected when he cups my breast and kneads it before he plucks the nipple between his finger and thumb. He leaves that behind to stroke down my belly. Josh stops right before his fingers reach my pulsing center.
“Please, Josh. Don’t stop. I want this. I feel something I’ve never felt before. I want to chase these feelings. Chase them with me. Please.”
“Pull your knees up and spread your legs.”
I look away when I do what he says. I never knew I was shy, but without drugs running through my system, it’s all different.
He takes my hand, lays it flat against my stomach and places his over mine to guide it between my legs.
“Show me. I want to see what makes you feel good.”
“You. It’s you, Josh. You make me feel good.”
He doesn't let go when I try to remove my hand. It’s his touch I need right now. “Please, Josh. I want to feel you touching me…”
He groans when he frees my hand, but he replaces my fingers with his own. I close my eyes when he slides a finger through my folds. He circles my opening with his middle finger and drags it back up to rub around on my clit. I can feel something building inside me.
It isn’t fair I’m the only one getting attention. I wrap my fingers around his thick cock. He trusts his hips, and I can feel the pre-cum when his tip touches my thigh. I grip him tight and slide my hand up and down his length while he strokes my pussy. I wiggle my hips around when I feel him near my opening again.
“You’re wet, baby. I love how you’re responding to me right now. I can’t wait to slide into you and feel you wrapped around me. I’ve waited a long time for this.”
He pushes two fingers inside, and it feels so good. I’ve felt nothing like it before. For the first time in my life, my legs tremble and shake for a good reason. There’s nothing here to fear.
Josh pushes his fingers deep with every stroke. The sensation builds and builds with every thrust. I’m ashamed when I feel the wetness trickle further down. I open my eyes to look at him, and I see he’s watching as he works my body. He follows the trail of my excitement with his middle finger and circles around the other opening. I jerk away from him. The thought of him touching me there doesn’t excite me. It has the opposite effect.
“Shh… It’s okay. Not there. I understand.”
He watches me closely. Josh wants to be with me, but he’s also studying me. He’s trying to get inside my head and find all the triggers, so he doesn’t accidentally pull one. I love him for the way he cares.
Wait. I love him?
“It’s not okay, Josh. I’m scared. The way you are with me, I’m afraid I’m going to get hurt.”
He doesn’t want the desire to dissipate. He moves to his knees between my legs and leans over me. I don’t want to lose this feeling either. It’s so easy to get scared and want to stop everything, back away from Josh, but I can’t.
I grab his head with both hands and pull his face to mine so I can kiss him. There’s a tug of war going on inside me right now. I’m afraid to do this, but I’m scared as hell of the disappointment I’ll feel if I don’t.
Chapter Seventeen
Josh
Kennedy’s kissing and rubbing against me like I’m a new drug she’s discovered. I want more than that, but I know her head’s not there yet. I’ll take anything I can get with her because I don’t see myself ever letting go.
Her pussy was dripping for me a minute ago, but when I moved my attention to her ass, she froze. My touch there brought back something from her past. I won’t ask her what it is. When she’s ready to give me the sordid details, I’ll do my best to listen. I’d love to kill every motherfucker who’s ever hurt her. At least David Jennings, the bastard that started everything, is already rotting in hell.
I deepen the kiss and thrust my cock against her pussy. I’m right there, pressed against her opening. She moves her lower body to get me inside. “I need to get the condom. Hang on just a sec…”
I get on my knees and look between us. Her pussy is open, wet, and swollen. She’s aroused from what we’ve done. I hope she doesn’t pull away again. I want to make her come, completely shatter for me. She needs the release. I need it, too. My cock throbs as I roll the condom on quickly.
When is the last time I had sex with no BDSM mixed in? It’s not that I need it. Sex has always been about fun for me. It’s a rush to play with a woman and push her limits. I don’t need toys or equipment to do that with Kennedy. For her, having sex with a clear head is pushing her boundaries to the extreme. She’s only ever used it to get what she wanted or because some asshole forced her to do it to get what he wanted.
This right here? This is all about us.
I push through her warm entrance. She’s tight and warm, a welcoming my cock has needed for a long time. I enter her slowly, an inch at a time. When her body resists, I stop and give her time to adjust and relax before I press further. When I’m all the way in, I lay down over her, chest to chest. She wraps her arms around my shoulders as I thrust in and out.
“Feel good, baby?” I lick her lips and dart my tongue in and out, and then I nip her bottom lip between my teeth. I kiss her face and a path down her neck. Her walls tighten against my cock. I’m so close to coming, but I need her to get there first.
“Oh, Josh, you feel so good. I’m so close…just a little more.” I circle my hips to grind against her clit as I push deep inside her. I pull almost all the way out and do it again. Her legs lock tight around me. Two more long, deep strokes and me grinding hard against her, Kennedy’s head falls back, and her eyes close. She moans and keens loudly, but the best part is her calling my name as her orgasm races through her. She’s my trigger.
“Baby, baby, damn, I’m right with you, sweetheart.” I thrust a few times rapidly and then it rips through me, my hot come spills i
nto the condom.
Our bodies are still connected when I pull back to look at her. I’m shocked when I see tears streaming down her gorgeous face.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Honey, talk to me. I didn’t mean to push you…”
“No, no…it’s not that…” She shakes her head from side to side. “It was…amazing, Josh. Just like I used to imagine my first time would be, but…it wasn’t my first time. I’ve had sex with so many…”
“Kennedy! Stop! I don’t want to fucking hear you talk about being with anyone else while I’m still inside you. You’re right, it was amazing. It was perfect. It was our first time, baby girl. Forget everything else and concentrate on us.”
I’m not angry with her because of what she said. It pisses me off because she has a reason to say those things. I hate it’s how she feels. I know she has a past. I knew this from the beginning.
She smiles through her tears. “I’m so damn lucky you found me, Josh. Do you think every time we’re together it’ll be like this? It was magic. I didn’t know it was even possible to feel like that.”
“I think we’re pretty hot together, and no, I don’t think that’ll change. I’d like to keep you. I don’t want to move, baby, but I need to get rid of the condom, okay? I’ll be back.”
I go into the bathroom to remove the condom and clean up. I needed a little space. Things are intense between Kennedy and me right now. I was on the verge of telling her I’m falling in love with her. Am I?
I need to talk to someone. I want to reach out to my best friend, but that’s hard to do when Jaycee is Kennedy’s sister. She’s the only one I’d be comfortable talking to about everything.
I run warm water over a washcloth and go back to Kennedy. She hasn’t moved from where I left her a moment ago. “Open your legs.”
I chuckle when I see the pink highlight her cheeks. It makes me proud to know I affect her this way. I rub the soft cloth over her and toss it on the floor. More than anything, I want to lie in bed and hold her.
“You okay?” I pull her close under the covers.
“Yeah…yeah, I think I’m okay. I’m going to remember this for a long time.”
“Of course, you are. It’s going to happen over and over, so you’ll have plenty to remember.” I kiss her forehead and close my eyes. Our breathing is in synch.
We’re both so relaxed, the next thing I know is when I open my eyes and look at the clock beside the bed. Our snuggle-time turned into a long morning nap. It’s just after lunchtime.
Kennedy stirs against me. My cock springs to the occasions when she moves her lower body against mine. As much as I’d love to go another round, we need to get up and do a few things we planned today. I’m sure Jeff is wondering why I’m not at the shop. I have no problem with telling him the truth.
***
“Jeff busy?”
Kat’s so wrapped up in whatever she’s doing, she doesn’t hear us come in the door. Her head pops up when I speak.
Kennedy’s tucked behind me, but that doesn’t stop Kat from checking her out from head to toe. I don’t miss the fraction of a dirty look she gives us both. No doubt she wants to provide Kennedy with a piece of her mind for the hell she’s put Jaycee through. Kat and Jaycee are close. Probably more like sisters than Kennedy and Jaycee.
“He should be finishing up with his last appointment. You’ve been a stranger around here lately. What have you been up to?” Once again Kat’s eyes stray to the young woman behind me who hasn’t said a word since we stepped inside the shop.
“Kat, this is Kennedy. Kennedy, this is my brother’s girl, Kat. She’s also best friends with your sister.”
I step back and wrap my arm around Kennedy. I want no one to doubt that she’s someone special, important to me.
“It’s nice to meet you, Kat.”
The girls talk while I head over to talk to Jeff when I see him step around the corner with a customer.
After Kennedy and I spend a few hours at the tattoo shop, we walk out of Running Color’s hand in hand. “Why is it I think you and your brother are nothing alike?”
“We’re more alike than you think, but I also think because he’s a little older than me, our childhood affected him differently. He needs to control everything. When we were growing up, we couldn’t control a damn thing our parents did.”
“I guess I understand that.”
“I talked to Jeff. He’s going to hire another tattoo artist to work at Running Colors. I can still go back if I decide to, but I want to concentrate on keeping you safe until Phoenix is caught. He understands because Kat isn’t safe either until the piece of shit is behind bars. We’ll go back to Kentucky tomorrow. We can look for Lindsey.”
I take Kennedy to get a phone, and then we stop and eat an early dinner at my favorite Chinese restaurant. Everything is great between us. It feels like we’re a happy couple out doing normal everyday things together. In my mind, we’re very much together, but I need to have a conversation with her before I’m sure we’re on the same page.
Things stop seeming so beautiful when I pull up to park in front of my apartment building. Staci’s car is parked out front. She still has a key to my place. I didn’t ask for it back because honestly, with everything going on with Kennedy, it didn’t cross my mind. I never took Staci for one who’d keep coming around once I broke things off with her.
“Shit.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Don’t get upset, baby, but I think my ex-girlfriend is here. She has a key to my apartment. I should have gotten it back, but I didn’t think…”
“It’s okay. I know you have a life. I’ve been taking up all your time. I can stay with Jaycee or get a room…”
I knew this would happen.
Kennedy thinks I’m looking for an excuse to get away from her, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. The thought of seeing Staci does nothing for me. I don’t want Staci. My heart desires Kennedy and no one else.
“It’s not okay, Kennedy. I made a mistake not getting my key back, but I’ll take care of that right now. You’re going to walk up there with me. If it makes you more comfortable, you can relax in the bedroom while I deal with Staci. Just remember, it’s you I want.”
Staci’s sitting on the sofa when we walk into the apartment. Her eyes go straight to Kennedy, and she laughs.
“I should’ve known this is why you ditched the engagement. Do you really think this little piece of trailer trash is going to make you happy, Josh? I know you. Remember? I know all about the things you like, and I can’t see her fulfilling your dirty little desires the way I can. No offense.” She directs the last words to Kennedy.
“Shut up, Staci. What’s wrong with you? Our breaking up had to hurt, but there’s no need to take it out on Kennedy. It isn’t her fault. I don’t love you!”
“But, you love her? I don’t understand, Josh. How? You know what? It doesn’t matter because I came here with news that will destroy your little playhouse! I’m pregnant!”
My head snaps back like she slapped me. Staci doesn’t lay a hand on me, but what she says rocks me to the core. It barely registers when Kennedy leaves my side and runs into the bedroom.
“No, Staci, there’s no way. I used a condom every time. You’re lying. I don’t…I don’t want this…”
“You didn’t use a condom every time. Though I’m sure, you’ve forgotten that just like you don’t remember proposing to me, but I remember. I remember everything, Josh. I’m going to leave you alone so you can…I don’t know…take the trash out, perhaps?” Staci looks to where Kennedy was standing a few minutes ago. “I’ll call you. We need to talk about everything. Soon.”
Chapter Eighteen
Kennedy
Pregnant. Staci is pregnant with Josh’s baby. I knew things were too good to be true between us. I knew it wouldn’t last, but I didn’t expect it to blow up like this. Only hours after he worshiped my body and made me feel cherished… And loved.
I
run to the bedroom to pack everything. I don’t know where I’ll go, but I have to set him free. He’s been caught up with everything happening to me instead of concentrating on his own life. I’m the reason he broke up with Staci.
Now that there’s a baby coming, there’s no way he’ll choose me. I won’t let him. Staci’s better for Josh. She’s beautiful, and confidence radiates from her. She’s right…compared to her, I’m trash.
Just when I’m closing the zipper on the last bag, Josh comes into the bedroom.
“What the hell are you doing, Kennedy?”
“Leaving. I’ll stay with my sister. You have a baby on the way. We both knew your breakup with Staci was only temporary. You belong to her, not me.”
“My world’s just been torn apart, and you’re going to finish it, huh? You’re going to run away? I told you I want you. Staci’s timing sucks, and to be honest, I don’t know what to make of everything. I’ve never been with anyone without a condom. Just because she says she’s pregnant with my baby doesn’t make it true. I mean…I’ve always trusted her, and I’ve never known her to lie or be deceitful to anyone, but…sometimes people aren’t who they seem at first.”
I know he isn’t only talking about Staci. I’m a lot different now than when we first met in Memphis. For a day, I almost forgot that Kennedy. Josh made me forget.
My heart is breaking, but I don’t want him to see how much it hurts me to walk away from him. He was with Staci when we met. He’s done nothing wrong. We’ve done nothing wrong. But, if I stand in his way and keep him from his child, that would be wrong. It isn’t meant to be between Josh and me.
“I know you think I’ll look for drugs, but I won’t. I’ve come too far to mess it up, and it’s all because of you. I just…I need to get away while you deal with you and Staci. I’ll go to Jaycee’s for a while. I’ll be safe there. You just do you for a while and stop worrying about me.”
