by Caragh Bell
‘Thanks for dropping me down, Col. I really mean it.’
‘No troubles, bubbles. It’s surprising what you can fit into a Mini.’
They walked companionably to the car.
‘Don’t tell Luca,’ she said suddenly.
Colin’s brown eyes were serious for once. ‘I know, Lyd. I won’t.’
‘It’s just I don’t want ...’
‘Hey, I get it. I told Val to keep his mouth shut too.’
‘Thanks, Col.’
‘Like I said, no troubles, bubbles. Okay, here we are. Can you squeeze in there?’ He pointed to a minuscule space in the front seat. Her books, DVDs and clothes were stuffed into every available part of the car.
Lydia laughed. ‘I’ll try.’
Colin drove at his usual breakneck speed, chatting away. Lydia zoned in and out, smiling at the right moments and nodding in agreement.
‘So, Val met Jessica last night.’ He looked sideways at her.
She sat up straight. ‘And?’
‘She’s in a better place.’
‘I’m glad.’ Lydia stared into space. ‘I mean, it was awful what we did to her.’
‘It was awful what she did to you, too,’ protested Colin. ‘I mean, she picked her moment.’
‘She was upset.’
‘She could have handled it better.’
Lydia grasped his hand fondly. ‘Loyal to the end.’
Colin opened his mouth and shut it again. ‘I suppose,’ he said finally. ‘I mean, Val and I nearly split up over it, to be honest. I blamed him for telling her.’
Lydia gasped in horror. ‘Oh Col, that would break my heart. Please say you’re both okay.’
Colin nodded, his curls dancing in the sunlight streaming through the wind screen. ‘It turns out that she guessed in Austria. She knew that he was with you that last night.’
Lydia’s stomach heaved. Poor Jessica. She must have been horrified. She pushed the unpleasant thoughts from her mind. That was all over now. She was moving on.
Chapter 46
‘Goodbye, Ted.’
‘Bye, Ollie. See you sometime?’
‘I might take a trip over.’
‘That would be, God, how do I put this? Great?’
‘Say it like you mean it.’
‘Of course I mean it. Just warn me though, so I can buy enough food.’
‘Bye, Lyd. Can I have your old room?’
‘I’m not going away forever, Mol.’
‘So? Can I?’
‘No.’
‘Dad? This is so like unfair! Lyd has a way bigger room than me and she hasn’t lived here for ages and ...’
‘Have a ball, hon.’
‘Thanks, Sarah. I will.’
‘Andy and I will definitely visit.’
‘He might propose at the top of the Eiffel Tower.’
‘Would you all give it a rest? We’re taking our time!’
‘Okay, okay, I’ll lay off. We just all want a wedding and now that I’m off the cards ...’
‘I’ll keep you posted.’
Luca debated what to wear.
A navy sweater? Yeah, that looked good.
He surveyed his appearance in the mirror. Never before had he been nervous before a date. Hell, this was like the third date of his life or something. Taking it slow wasn’t his style. But when she had texted earlier that day to meet him in town, he had jumped at the chance. Things were finally starting to move in the right direction. Sure, she had seemed distracted of late, but that was only natural after the break-up and all.
There was a bang on the door.
‘Luca! Hurry up. I have to meet Sam in half an hour.’
Luca scowled. Typical – this dump had only one bathroom.
‘I’m coming, man!’ he called, checking his hair for the last time.
Craig wolf-whistled as he walked out. ‘Who’s the lucky lady?’
‘No one.’ Luca pulled on his jacket. ‘Just don’t wait up.’ He grinned and disappeared out the front door.
Craig smiled. Thank God he was over Lydia. He couldn’t take the constant bad mood since things had kicked off. Finally he was moving on. Good thing too, as she was flying out tomorrow.
‘Luca!’ She beamed at him when he walked into the bar.
She looked beautiful. He stopped for a moment and looked at her. Her hair shone and cascaded down around her smiling face. She was wearing purple: her favourite colour.
‘Hi,’ he said, leaning in to kiss her cheek.
‘Beer?’ she offered.
‘Sure. A Bud, thanks.’
She beckoned to the barman.
‘So,’ he began. ‘You look happy.’
‘I am. Life is good for once.’
She didn’t elaborate.
He sipped his beer. ‘So, what’s the plan?’
She smiled. ‘Dinner? Dancing?’
‘Sounds good.’ He felt uneasy. It was like she had had a personality transplant. Why was she being so goddamn nice?
‘I was thinking we could go to that French place, Les Gourmandises?’
‘You’ve got to let me pay.’
‘I will.’ Her eyes sparkled. ‘Hurry up, I’m starving.’
Her earrings danced in the light. She smelled wonderful. He reached out and rubbed her leg. She squeezed his hand.
Luca couldn’t believe it. They were together. They were a couple. She was his girl.
His chest swelled with pride.
Later that night in his room he stroked her shoulder as they lay naked in each other’s arms.
‘Lyd?’
‘Yeah?’ Her voice was a whisper.
‘I’ve got to say, you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever been with.’
She kissed his shoulder.
‘Lyd?’
He traced the curve of her waist with his finger.
‘Yeah?’
He couldn’t say it. He wanted to tell her he was head over heels in love with her, but it sounded lame.
‘Goodnight,’ he offered, blushing.
She rubbed his cheek and stared into his eyes. For a minute, no one spoke.
‘You mean so much to me, you know,’ she whispered eventually.
He said nothing. He felt his heart beating in his chest. This definitely sounded positive.
‘Night.’ She kissed his nose and closed her eyes.
The next morning he woke up to find the bed beside him empty.
He rubbed his temple. Why did he drink so much? The sunlight streamed through his threadbare curtains.
God, he hated his hellhole of a room sometimes. He had suggested going back to her flat, but she had insisted they stay here.
Where was she anyway? Getting coffee?
He sat up and rested himself against the wall. It had been the night of dreams.
Good food, dancing and mind-blowing sex. He kept pinching himself to check if he was awake.
She had been almost too perfect.
He rubbed his head again. He was getting too old for this shit. No more shots anyways.
He strained to hear if she was on her way back, but the house was silent.
Where the hell was she? He could do with a shot of coffee to wake up.
Ten minutes passed.
Then fifteen.
Finally, he dragged himself out of bed and padded out to the corridor.
‘Lydia?’ he called. ‘Lyd?’
Craig poked his head out of his bedroom door. ‘Why are you calling for Lydia?’
Luca reddened. ‘Um, she was here last night, buddy. We hooked up.’
Craig frowned. ‘Is she still here?’
‘That’s why I’m calling her. Lydia?’
No answer.
‘Where is she? I woke up and she was gone. I’ll just go down and check ...’
Craig stopped him halfway down the stairs. ‘Look, man, this is lousy. I have to tell you something.’
Luca didn’t listen. ‘Want a coffee?’ he asked.
‘Stop, Luca.
Listen to me. I have to tell you something.’
Luca stopped and waited. ‘Yeah?’ he prompted.
‘She’s gone.’
‘Gone? Gone where?’
‘Gone away. To Paris. For good.’
‘What? Quit playing, Craig. Now, do you want some coffee?’ He turned away and started descending the stairs.
‘Luca, I’m serious. Her flight leaves this morning. She dropped out of college and she’s going to live in Paris.’
Luca stopped dead, his heart beating loudly. It had to be a lie. She didn’t say anything last night. No frickin’ way.
‘Tell me you’re joking.’
‘I’m not, man. It’s true.’
Luca banged his fist against the wall. He couldn’t believe it. How could she do this to him? It was too much. Now he understood how Dominic felt. The shock, the pain, the disbelief.
‘What time does she fly?’ he murmured into the wall, his eyes closed.
Craig shrugged. ‘I don’t actually know.’
Luca ran his fingers through his hair. ‘I’ve got to see her. Can you drive me out to the airport?’
‘That’s not a good idea.’
‘Jesus Christ, Craig, just do as I say. I’ve got to talk to her.’
‘But she may have left already.’
‘And she may not. I’ll check the flight times.’
Craig shook his head. ‘Sam would kill me. I wasn’t supposed to say anything.’
‘Damn it, Craig!’ He banged his head against the wall in frustration.
‘Okay, okay, I’ll take you.’
Chapter 47
‘Boarding is in forty minutes.’
Lydia smiled at the flight attendant as she tagged her bag and sent it on its way down the conveyor belt.
Time for a quick coffee, she thought, heading towards the bar area.
Her parents had just left, her mum with tears in her eyes. As promised, they had picked her up from her flat that morning and dropped her out to the airport. She had just arrived back from Luca’s place when they had arrived.
That was lucky, she reflected. She didn’t want to have to explain anything to them, especially since the Dominic thing was so raw.
Her mother had fussed over her like normal.
‘Now, don’t talk to strangers and for God’s sake watch your money. You need it to last until your first pay cheque. Don’t go out alone at night and don’t drink too much!’
Her father had been more subdued. ‘Goodbye, Lyd. Look after yourself now.’
She had hugged them both fiercely and told them how much she loved and appreciated them.
Her bag was heavy on her shoulder. She had crammed everything she could into it: her iPad, her book, her diary, hairbrush, make-up, snacks and a big bottle of water.
Better get rid of the water before baggage control, she thought, removing it from her bag and taking a gulp.
Inevitably, she thought of Luca and the night before. It had been perfect. No pressure, no subterfuge, just the two of them. Making love to him was the most wonderful thing in the world. She would cherish the memory.
She knew that leaving like this was unforgiveable. She knew it was selfish and cruel, but there was no other way. If she had told him he would have tried to convince her to stay.
The thing was … she might have listened.
Then she would be trapped again; she would be forced to start a whole new relationship with a whole new set of limitations.
She was twenty-three years of age; this was her chance. If she didn’t seize it now, she would regret it forever.
Did she love him? Yes, of course. But not enough to stay.
Her future did not include him. He was good-looking, kind, great fun and incredibly sweet, but he was definitely the type of guy who would break her heart. He didn’t realise this, but she did.
Jessica’s tearstained face was fresh in her mind. Jess was definitely not the first nor the last girl he would treat like that. She suspected that people like Luca played by different rules.
He wanted her because he couldn’t have her. It was a classic case.
Better to break it now.
Glancing at her watch she decided to give the coffee a miss and concentrate on downing the last of her Evian.
Might as well go through and browse around the bookshop, she thought, pulling out her boarding card.
‘Take him out, Craig! Come on, man, move this car!’
‘I can’t overtake here, I’ll crash. Now, calm down.’
‘Who drives a frickin’ tractor on a road like this?’ Luca rolled down the window. ‘Get out of the way, you moron!’
The tractor driver was blissfully unaware of the obscenities being shouted at him as Craig’s car sped past. Finally they reached the airport roundabout.
‘Move it, Craig. My app says that the flight is due to depart in an hour.’
‘Jesus, Luca, I’m doing my best.’
They screeched to a halt outside the terminal building. Luca jumped out of the car and ran towards the glass doors.
The airport was busy. Hundreds of people milled around, laden down with luggage and screaming children.
Had she checked in? She must have by now.
What if she had gone through to Departures already? Then he was royally screwed.
He had to see her.
Training his eyes on the crowd upstairs, he spotted her. She was drinking water from a bottle.
‘Lydia!’ he called, but she didn’t hear. There was a huge crowd of Spanish students surrounding her and the cacophony of sound was deafening as they chatted incessantly.
He bounded up the escalator, two steps at a time. Frantically, he tried to push through the crowd.
‘Lyd!’
She was walking towards the gate. He could see her holding up her boarding card and her passport.
He shoved two teenagers aside and called her name again.
Her head swung around and their eyes locked.
The world stopped.
He tried to read her expression. She looked pleased to see him, but also wary.
‘Lyd!Wait!’
She stepped to the side and waited until he reached her.
‘Why did you leave? Why didn’t you tell me?’ he demanded breathlessly.
She said nothing.
‘Why did you leave?’ he repeated.
‘I have to go, Luca. I’ve screwed everything up. I need a fresh start.’
‘Have a fresh start with me. I want you. Stay with me and we’ll be happy.’
He looked like a little boy. Her heart melted.
‘It would never work out, Luca. It had an unclean start. Relationships that start as affairs never last.’
‘Please, Lyd. I love you. I’m so in love with you, I can’t think straight. You can’t leave.’
‘I’m sick of relationships. I want to be free. I want to be me for a while.’
‘You love me too, I know it.’ He tried to pull her close but she backed away.
‘Yes, yes, you’re right. But not enough.’ She paused. ‘It just wasn’t meant to be. We have to accept that.’
She turned around but he grabbed her arm.
‘Lydia!’
‘Let me go. Just let me go.’ She could feel her resolve weakening.
‘No!’
‘Let me go.’ Her tone was firm.
Gently, she removed his arm and, standing on her tiptoes, kissed him gently on the lips.
‘You are such a wonderful person – remember that.’
She disappeared through the departure gate.
Luca felt as if someone had punched him in the gut. He couldn’t believe it. This shit never happened to him.
He contemplated breaking through the barrier, picking her up and taking her home.
But deep down he knew that she would break free. She didn’t want what he wanted. There was nothing else for it. He had to let her go.
Lydia climbed the steps of the plane.
Looking back, sh
e thought she saw a gleam of blond hair from the viewing gallery of the terminal building. Peering closer, she couldn’t be sure if it was him or not.
The expression on his face as she walked away was imprinted on her mind. It was a tough thing to do and she was glad it was over. For a moment there she had nearly changed her mind. Nearly…
Taking a deep breath, she banished him from her mind.
Him. Dominic. Her thesis. Her friends and her family.
She had made a huge mess, but everything would work out. It always did.
This was her new beginning.
‘Hi there, can I see your boarding card, please?’
The flight attendant flashed a brilliant smile.
Lydia beamed at her. ‘I’m a window seat, halfway up I think.’
‘You sure are. Enjoy your flight.’
Minutes later, Lydia buckled her seatbelt and opened the Hello! magazine she had purchased in the shop.
An intoxicating feeling of excitement coursed brought her veins.
She was on her way to the most beautiful city in the world: to a life where she could start again. Every day would bring new experiences and challenges, and she was ready for them all.
The ‘Fasten Seatbelt’ sign started to flash. The plane was getting ready to depart.
A feeling of enormous peace washed over her. This was the right path. This was the road to happiness.
Lydia closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the seat.
She was free.
TO BE CONTINUED …
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(Caragh Bell-Writer)
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