Trial By Fire (Going Down in Flames)

by Chris Cannon

  A shadow of sadness passed over his face. “What if you don’t really feel the way you think you feel?”

  To sum up… The guy she wanted was looking for explanations she didn’t have. “Valmont, you have two choices. Kiss me and be happy about having the added feeling of flying, or don’t kiss me and ask a bunch of stupid questions.” Wow…that came out bitchier than she intended.

  Valmont cupped her face in his hands. “I would rather kiss you, but I want to know what’s happening between us is real and not some side effect of the bond.”

  “Why does it matter? Can’t you think of it as a bonus?”

  He dropped his hands. “I’m not sure.”

  “I told you. I liked you before the bond.”

  “Not enough to dump Zavien.”

  “Hey. It’s not like I have a lot of experience with these situations. I needed to figure out what was going on with Zavien before I moved on. And why are you picking a fight with me?”

  He blinked. “I am, aren’t I?” He shook his head like he was trying to clear his thoughts. “I think the bond magnifies things between us—our emotions, my lingering resentment about Zavien, and your insecurities about being abandoned.”

  Could he be right?

  “I don’t claim to be an expert on healthy relationships, but even if the bond amplifies our emotions, they’re still our emotions, right? The bond can’t create feelings between us.”

  “Are you sure about that?” he asked.

  She stared at him for a moment, fighting to keep her temper under control. “Before you became my knight, we met. What did you think of me? Did you think I was hideous?”

  “No. Of course not.”

  “Did you think I was cute or pretty or the type of girl you might want to ask on a date?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay. We’ve established you were interested pre-bond. Now, the magic of the bond might be amping up our emotions, but it isn’t brainwashing us. Can’t you think of the bond like sprinkles on ice cream?”

  He cracked a grin, and his single dimple appeared. “Sprinkles?”

  “Yes. Normal ice cream is great, but when you add sprinkles, it’s extra good.” She needed him to be okay with this. Being pushed aside for a stupid reason was unacceptable. She wasn’t above playing dirty. Moving closer, she played with the black curls at the nape of his neck. “Sprinkles are good.”

  His eyes narrowed. “You’re trying to distract me from logic.”

  “Logic sucks.” She grinned. “You should kiss me.”

  He didn’t move toward her. He didn’t make a witty comeback. He didn’t do much of anything but sigh. And then he said, “I’m not sure what’s going on between us is appropriate.”

  Chapter Nine

  What the hell? “Last night you kissed me. You started this. You said we’d be together till death do us part. Where’d that guy go? Because I liked him.”

  Valmont’s cheeks turned a mottled shade of red. Was he mad, or embarrassed? Time ticked by at a glacial pace as the awkwardness between them grew.

  “Is that it?” Bryn asked. “Don’t you have anything else to say?” The next words out of his mouth better be an apology, or she was going to lose it and roast him.

  “The way the bond works, I’m not sure I can trust your feelings for me.”

  Smoke shot from her nostrils. “What does that mean? Where does that leave us?”

  He reached up to rub his forehead. “I don’t know.”

  Seriously? Whatever. “Let me know when you’ve figured out what you want.” She willed her body to stand up and walk away, but hope rooted her to the spot. If she sat there, maybe he’d say what she needed to hear.

  “Bryn, I’m sorry.”

  Thank God. Relief washed over her. She leaned toward him.

  “I can’t do this.”

  “Can’t do what, exactly?”

  He stood and paced the length of the coffee table. Back and forth he went as she waited for him to speak. “What’s going on between us…the bond…us being romantically involved…I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

  She shot to her feet. “What?”

  He held a hand out to signal she should stop talking. “I need time to think. It would be best if we went our separate ways for a bit. I’m going to bed.” And with that, he headed into his bedroom and slammed the door.

  Shocked, Bryn stared after him. This could not be happening. He was supposed to be her rock. He was her knight. And she still had no idea what the hell he meant. Should she go pound on his door until he answered her questions? When he said they should go their separate ways, he’d meant he needed time to think alone. Or did he mean he didn’t want to be romantically involved anymore? That would suck, but even if he never wanted to kiss her again, he still wanted to be her knight, no matter what, right?

  What if he meant he didn’t want to be her knight anymore? That idea had her stomach twisting into knots. Did he want to be released from their bond? Is that what he meant? If she released him and they kissed and they were still attracted to each other, would that set his mind at ease?

  And if she ended the bond, and he didn’t want to be her knight anymore, then what would she do?

  Damn it. What was wrong with her? She was not some emotional female, some weak girl who had to have a man in her life. She would not stress over another guy who couldn’t figure out what the hell he wanted. She was better than that, stronger than that. It had to be the bond making her feel all clingy and screwing with her head.

  Maybe by morning, Valmont would have his head on straight. Moron. And if he came up with a really good apology maybe she’d forgive him. Right now she couldn’t decide if she wanted to kiss him or kick his ass. She headed into bed, changed into comfy yoga pants and a tank top, brushed her teeth, and gave herself a pep talk in the mirror. “It will all be okay. No matter what happens. It will be okay.”

  She collapsed on the bed and closed her eyes, but sleep didn’t come. She tried to focus on other things. A history paper was due soon. What did she want to write about? Her brain refused to play along. All she could think about was Valmont. What if he didn’t want to be her knight anymore? What if he wanted his normal life back? Could she fault him for that? Not really. So… If he didn’t want to be her knight anymore, she’d deal with it. She might need some therapy and some mood-altering drugs, but it would be okay.

  She stared at the ceiling. Sleep eluded her, but a slow burning sensation built inside her gut. The fire in her body felt like it was closer to the surface of her skin, or like she had a fever. Great. Now she felt sweaty and itchy. Maybe a shower would help, but that seemed like too much effort. If she could just freaking fall asleep.

  After an hour of tossing and scratching, she dragged herself into the bathroom and took a shower. All her muscles ached. Was she coming down with some sort of flu? And why did her skin itch so badly? Was she having some sort of allergic reaction? Did her bad luck know no bounds?

  She slathered on lotion, dressed in a different tank top and yoga pants, and crawled back into bed. Now she was freezing. Chilled and shivering, she pulled the covers up around her neck and prayed for sleep.

  …

  Her alarm was going off, and she didn’t care. Her heart hammered in her chest as the piano music became louder and more discordant, performing its function of increasing her stress level by encouraging her to rise and shine. She didn’t care about classes or going to breakfast or shutting off the annoying alarm. The rest of the world and all its occupants could move along without her for one day. She planned on staying right where she was, curled up under the covers until she felt like her normal self. Attending classes when she felt like crap was not on her agenda.

  Her door flew open. Valmont stalked across the room and smacked the top of the alarm. “I hate those things. Why didn’t you turn yours off?” His eyes met hers, and he paled. “Bryn, what’s wrong?”

  She didn’t have it in her to talk about their bizarre relationship and the y
ou-don’t-really-care-about-me-it’s-just-the-bond issue right now. “Go away.” All she wanted to do was sleep until she was over this stupid flu.

  He rushed to her side. “Bryn, do you feel all right?”

  Rolling away from him, she closed her eyes. “No. I’m sick. Leave me alone.”

  He touched her forehead. “You’re burning up. I’m calling a medic.”

  That was probably a good idea. She clutched the covers tighter as a wave of cold passed through her bones and then she drifted back to sleep.

  Sometime later, a knock sounded on the door, and she heard voices and footsteps.

  “Bryn, it’s Medic Williams. What’s wrong?”

  “I have a stupid cold or something.” She rolled over and pushed herself up.

  Medic William’s eyes widened. “When did this start?”

  Geez, how bad did she look? “Last night after I went to bed.”

  “Are you in pain?” the medic asked.

  “No.” Another chill made her teeth chatter. “I must have some type of flu. I’m hot, and then I’m cold. The worst part is, everything itches.” She reached up to scratch her head and something coarse came away in her hand. “What the hell?” How had she gotten straw into her hair? This didn’t make any sense. She studied the blond stick-like strands in her hand. Wait a minute. “Is that my hair? Oh my God. What’s going on?”

  “Don’t panic,” Medic Williams said. “Tell me what you did last night before bed. Maybe this is some sort of poison. Did you eat or drink anything different?”

  “No.” Smoke crawled up the back of Bryn’s throat, making her cough. Sparks shot out onto the bed sheets and smoldered.

  Valmont patted down the ashes. “That’s not good.”

  “Focus on cold,” Medic Williams ordered. “Before you burn the dorm down.”

  She concentrated until she sprayed sleet when she coughed. Not that she wanted to cough much more. “Can you give me some medicine? My throat feels raw.”

  “I’m going to scan you.” She placed her hand on Bryn’s forehead. The warmth of Quintessence flowed over her skin. “I can’t detect any foreign substances. This makes no sense. Dragons rarely catch colds, unless they are ancient. Tell me exactly what happened yesterday.”

  Bryn described her day, skipping over the fight with Valmont. That was too embarrassing and personal.

  “That’s it. You’re not leaving anything out?”

  Valmont cleared his throat and touched Bryn’s shoulder. “Tell her everything, or I will.”

  She rolled her eyes, which made her kind of dizzy. “Fine. Valmont and I argued.”

  “I need details.”

  “Fine. Valmont,”—his name tasted sour on her tongue—“decided he wasn’t into this whole knight thing. It doesn’t make sense to him, so he doesn’t want to play anymore.”

  “Bryn, that’s not fair.” Valmont sat on the bed next to her.

  “Fair?” Sleet shot from her nostrils as her anger grew. “I’ll tell you what’s not fair. Trusting someone and then having them freak out and walk off when things become confusing… That’s not fair.”

  “You need to calm down and listen to me,” Valmont’s placating tone upped her irritation.

  “No. You need to suck it up and make a choice.”

  “A choice about what?”

  “About whether you want to be my knight or not.”

  “Bryn, I—”

  “Did you reject her?” Medic Williams asked.

  “No,” Valmont said.

  “Liar. Liar. Pants on fire.” She knew she was being childish, but she didn’t care. “You walked away from me. You left me standing there in the living room like an idiot.” Bryn growled, but it turned into a coughing fit that took her breath away. She forgot to focus on cold, but rather than sparks, ash shot from her mouth. That was weird.

  “You did this.” Medic Williams pointed at Valmont. “Through the bond, you did this to her. You are sworn to protect her, to lay down your life to defend her, and instead you rejected her.”

  Valmont’s eyes widened with panic. “No, I didn’t. It’s just that I don’t understand what’s happening between us.”

  “The bond is strong. It binds your spirits together with magic. If you don’t want to be bound to her anymore, then ask to be released, but you can’t make her feel abandoned, because her spirit will wither and fade along with her body.”

  “Like hell it will.” Bryn gasped and coughed.

  “It’s not your conscious choice, Bryn. This is ancient magic we’re dealing with. The bond is bound with your Quintessence, your life-force.” She pointed at Valmont. “You need to decide. Now. Either you want to be Bryn’s knight or you don’t. If you don’t, then she needs to release you.”

  Even though she was pissed at him for being an indecisive wuss, she realized he’d never made the choice to become her knight. The ancient magic in his blood had chosen for him when he’d stepped forward to help her that day. Just like she wasn’t asking to be sick right now. The magic kind of did what it wanted. He deserved to make the choice on his own, not be forced into it.

  Sitting up tall, she spoke in as calm a tone as she could manage. “Valmont, becoming my knight wasn’t something you decided to do. It happened through the magic in your blood. You deserve to have a say in your life. And I understand if you want your old life back. So it’s up to you. Do you want to continue being my knight?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “Keep talking to her,” Medic Williams said, “I’m going to call for more medics.”

  Bryn reached to touch Valmont’s face and froze. That couldn’t be her hand. It looked dry and weathered like she’d been washing her hands with bleach. “Holy shit. What’s wrong with me?”

  “Nothing the medics can’t fix,” Valmont said. “Right now, you need to understand I will never leave you, ever. I will never ask you to break the bond.”

  “Are you sure? You’re not just saying that because you feel guilty.”

  “Yes. I’m sure.”

  “What about the sprinkles?” she asked, hoping he’d understand she was referring to their kiss, which she didn’t want to mention since Medic Williams was nearby.

  “I will never question the sprinkles again. No matter how strange they might be. I promise.”

  His words were like a soothing balm. She leaned into him, and he wrapped his arms around her. Her thoughts came clearer and with the clarity came embarrassment. “Getting sick like this…I didn’t do it on purpose.”

  “I know.” He ran his hand up and down her back.

  “I’m not the type of girl who freaks out and tries to off herself over a guy.”

  He laughed. “I know. Listen to me. This wasn’t your fault. It was mine.”

  “It was the magic of the bond.” Bryn took a deep breath. She knew what she had to do. “Seriously, I don’t want to force you to be with me. I could release you.”

  “Shut up. You’re stuck with me. End of discussion.”

  “Thank God.” She enjoyed the warmth from his body, and from the bond. They sat like that until voices came from the living room.

  Bryn sat up and nodded at the two medics who followed Medic Williams into the room. Both stared wide-eyed, before sliding their professional masks back into place.

  “I look that bad?”

  “We’ll have you fixed up within the hour, I’m sure.” Medic Williams accepted a camera from one of the other doctors. “We need to take a few pictures for medical purposes.”

  Great. She was a freaking science experiment.

  Once the pictures were over, the medics placed their hands on Bryn’s neck, back, and shoulders. Warmth flowed over her ’til it felt like she was floating in a pool of warm honey. Nothing hurt, but her scalp itched. She reached to scratch, and Valmont caught her hand.

  “You probably shouldn’t do that,” he said.

  “It itches.” And not just a little bit. It felt like ants were swarming on her skull.

  “
You can scratch in a minute,” Medic Williams said. “Repairing hair takes less time than regrowing it from scratch.”

  Oh hell. “I have bald spots?”

  “Just one,” Valmont said, “and I’m sure they’ll fix it.”

  Warmth continued to flow through Bryn’s body. Her eyes drifted shut. “Can I sleep while you do this?”

  “No,” one of the medics snapped.

  Okay, then. Her skin prickled like she had a case of goose bumps. The prickly feeling changed into an odd stretching sensation. “That feels weird.”

  “Why don’t I distract you with a story,” Valmont said. “Once upon a time, there was an unbelievably handsome waiter who worked in an Italian restaurant in Dragon’s Bluff.”

  Bryn grinned. “This sounds oddly familiar.”

  “It should. This waiter was happy, but he always felt like something was missing from his life. One day, a girl with striped hair came into the restaurant and ate an entire pizza by herself, which he found very alluring.”

  “Right.”

  “One day the girl had a fight with a stupid boy, and the waiter stepped in to offer his help, and once he did, he was transformed. He felt whole, like he’d found his true purpose in life. The girl was a bit slow. It took her awhile to realize the handsome knight was the one for her. Once she came around, they discovered true love and lived happily ever after, except for a minor bump where the knight did something stupid and made the girl sick. After that one time, he promised he would never do anything to hurt her ever again, and they lived happily ever after. The end.”

  “I like that story.” Bryn yawned. “I’m sleepy.”

  “I’m not surprised.” Medic Williams removed her hand from Bryn’s forehead. “You’re stable. I want you to rest. I’ll be back in a few hours with food. Then we’ll see what more needs to be done.” She pointed at Valmont. “With the exception of using the bathroom, you are not to leave her side. Do you understand?”

  “Yes.”

  After all the medics were gone, Valmont kissed Bryn on the forehead. “I swear to you, no matter what happens between us personally or romantically, because there are bound to be some bumps as we figure all this stuff out, I will never ask you to break the bond.”