by Jordan Marie
“Woah, Hellcat…”
“Thank you for the flowers, Beast,” I say stiffly as I pass him.
“You can come back with me hummingbird, you’ll be welcomed there.”
Crusher growls and picks me up before I can respond. It’s all I can do to hold onto my flowers and not drop them to the floor. He shoots Beast a look and stomps out with me in his arms.
8
Crusher
I take hold of Dani, pulling her into my arms and stomp out. If I don’t, I’m going to kill that mother-fucking-son-of-a-bitch. When I walked in and he was touching Dani’s face, I wanted to break his hand. It’s bad enough that she chose him over me that night. It fucking pisses me off that he’s had his dick anywhere near her. It sure as fuck ain’t happening again. It sits sour in my stomach that she let him anywhere near her.
“What the fuck were you thinking letting that son of a bitch touch you? If you need dick that bad, I can give you mine…” I break off my tirade when I hear a large crash. I look down at her, then down to the floor. I see a broken vase, scattered flowers, and water all along the hall in front of us.
Dani’s elbow swings into my throat, it’s not powerful because of the angle, since she’s in my arms, but it is hard enough that my hands lower her quickly to the ground.
“What the…,” I gasp and massage my Adams apple before continuing. “What the fuck?” My voice sounds like freaking Mickey Mouse, while I catch my breath.
“You don’t get to talk to me like that. You don’t know me. We are nothing to each other, so stick your condescending attitude up your ass. If I want to fuck the whole Green-Bay Packers team, I’ll fuck them.” she growls hobbling away from me.
I watch her for a minute. I can admit it’s mostly to admire the way those jeans are molded to her ass. Then I look at the mess she left behind her. I take pleasure in seeing the fucking flowers broken and scattered on the floor. I would be lying if I didn’t confess I like the way she doesn’t even seem to want to take one with her. I kick them with the toe of my boot, and I smile as I think about Beast coming out and finding that shit. Then I jog down the hall to catch up with Hop-a-long.
“You need to let me carry you to the cage,” I say, when I notice how much pain and discomfort she’s in.
“I need for you to leave me the fuck alone. I can take care of myself.”
“Doesn’t appear you do such a good job of it, if you make choices like Beast and Tiny,” I return before I can stop my mouth.
She stops and turns to face me, putting her hands on her hips, the bag with her belongings swaying at her side. “Maybe if you weren’t so busy holding a gun on me, I wouldn’t have!”
“Will you keep your voice down? And it wasn’t at you, Hellcat. I think you know that. You’re the one who fucked up here.”
“Are you always such a self-righteous prick, Zander?”
I look at her and that’s when it hits me. She’s pale—really pale. Her face is tight indicating her pain, and she’s playing the hard ass, but those dark eyes of hers show…fear. I’m an ass. I pick her up and ignore the way she protests and beats on my chest. Instead, I lean down and kiss the top of her head. I’m not sure why, but that seems to calm her.
“I’m sorry Hellcat, I got my nose out of joint because Beast was right. I should have brought you some clothes and your own stuff.”
At my words the fight goes completely out of her, and she rests her head against my shoulder. I continue down the hallway towards the exit, oblivious to the stares we receive. It feels good, having Dani in my arms. It feels…right. Which is a scary fucking thing to admit.
“I don’t know why. I’m nothing to you. It shouldn’t have bothered you,” she says quietly.
I look down and her eyes are closed. She looks so sad and more than a little haunted. Again, she reminds me of Melly. Maybe it’s her sadness? Or the way she tries so hard to be tough as nails, yet still appears so fragile. I honestly don’t know why the two of them are linked in my mind, but they are. Except, the emotions that Dani brings out of me are much more volatile. I don’t say anything while I carry her outside to the cage. I let her slide to her feet, gently but keep my hands on her ass, and I can’t help but squeeze. I pull her close, knowing she can feel the hard ridge of my cock. I’m not about to hide it from her, Dani and I both have been around the block. She’s going to know that I want to fuck her, and I’m not going to hide it. I plan to show her and show her often.
Her face raises to mine. Those eyes of hers…eyes that hold a million secrets pin me in their gaze, and I can’t look away from the interest and the excitement flaring in them.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Hellcat. That’s where you’re wrong,” I whisper.
I expect her to question me, to accuse me of trying to get into her pants, which admittedly I do want. She doesn’t however, and I’m glad. Truthfully, I don’t know how I would have answered her. I don’t know what she is to me, but I know she has potential to be more, and I don’t want to leave her alone. That’s probably why I can’t stop myself. As I gently place her inside the vehicle, I lean down on the running boards and look up at her. My fingers slide under her hair. My thumb gently massages the skin at the corner of her lips.
“Zander?” she questions, confused.
Hell, I am too. I’m absolutely confused, but I can’t stop myself. I bring my lips against hers, tasting her, and swallowing the soft sigh of air that escapes. The kiss is gentle and sweet, not at all what I planned to give her. My tongue brushes along the top of her lip and slowly delves in her waiting mouth. At first, I’m confused, and take the fact that she’s not participating as rejection, but gradually her tongue comes up and dances against mine. It’s a sweet kiss. A kiss from another time. Chaste almost, but it soothes an empty spot inside of me I didn’t know was there. So, I don’t push it. I slowly break away, leaving our foreheads connected. She closes her eyes and lets me hold her. Dani, who is always fighting, lets me hold her outside in front of everyone and doesn’t protest. No, if I can read her body’s reaction right, she is just like me at the moment. Wishing we could stay like this and not move.
Have I ever savored an innocent kiss? Have I ever given one? Have I ever enjoyed just holding someone before?
I honestly don’t think so. What the hell do I do with that?
9
Dani
Wow. No, seriously wow. What the hell was that? What the hell just happened? I can’t help but touch my lips, once Zander closes the door. I started calling him that because I thought it might irritate him, but now I like it. I like that I’m the only one who uses it, and I know I’m getting too drawn into him. I think about him way too much. I’m curious about him in ways I haven’t been with other men. He’s dangerous. I planned on retreating and ignoring him completely, but that kiss…
Before Michael, and sadly even at the beginning with Michael, I enjoyed kissing. I had. I loved the feel of our lips sliding against each other, the taste of another person’s tongue and the pleasure that could come from a good long, slow kiss. I loved all of that. Still, that one small, sweet kiss with Zander blew away any other kiss I ever had out of the water. I fight down the nausea at what this means. There’s no reason to panic. It wasn’t even a sexual kiss. Zander’s a man who has a different woman every time he wants one. This meant nothing to him. He’s probably just feeling sorry for me. He’s trying to make me move into the club, and we both know I’m not wanted there.
With that worked out in my brain, I feel slightly better. The last thing I need is to be pursued by a man. Especially a man like Zander. He’s too potent… too consuming… I look over at him as he climbs into the truck and take in his dark hair which is messy and going in different directions, either by the wind, his fingers, or a combination of the two. He has on faded jeans and a plain white t-shirt under his Savage MC cut. His beautiful skin hints at a Latin heritage, but has been bronzed by the sun into this utter perfection that makes any woman, myself included, curious to
see more. He is dangerous, definitely dangerous. Have I reminded myself of that enough yet?
I turn away to look out the window, as Zander pulls out of the parking area. The cab of the truck is quiet, and I feel awkward, but I have no idea what to say.
“Do you need to go to your place and pack before we go to the club?”
“I’m not going to the club but if you could take me to the house, I would appreciate it.”
“Hellcat, we’ve been through this.”
“I know, that’s why we shouldn’t re-hash it again.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Zander shake his head, but he doesn’t say anything else.
We drive the rest of the way in silence, the sound of the radio in the background is the only noise. I feel bad, I should find something to say, because he’s been really good to me, and though I’ve dialed back my bitch meter towards him, I’m never going to be like the other girls. I don’t have that in me anymore. No one grieves that loss more than I do, but it’s true.
When the vehicle comes to a stop, I jump out, wincing at the pressure it puts on my leg. I ignore it and don’t give Zander time to react. I look through the open window at him.
“Thanks for the ride Zander, stay cool.” I walk off. Dismissed. I must keep him dismissed.
I’m at the front door and have it opened, before I realize he is standing behind me.
“What are you doing?”
“Hellcat, until we make sure everything is locked down and the danger is gone, you can’t stay by yourself. That leaves two routes this can take. You either come back to the club, or I can stay here. If you’re going to insist on being a stubborn ass, then I’m here.”
“No fucking way.”
“Not open for debate. Now, I’d rather be at the club, but baby you want to play it this way, I’m down.”
I shake my head; this is not going to happen. I cannot be anywhere near Zander.
I go inside, ignoring him. He follows, as I knew he would, but I want to change. I want my own damn deodorant, clean clothes not covered in blood, and my hair washed in my own shampoo. Once I have all that done, and I’m back to myself, I can deal with Zander. Right now, I feel…too raw.
I look over my shoulder, as he follows me.
“Take your damn boots off so you don’t track mud in the house.”
I catch him giving me a mock salute out of the corner of my eye as I leave him behind and go to my bedroom. Once I escape to the adjoining bathroom, I lock the door and relax my weight against it. I’ve held it together, but that’s come to an abrupt end. The shaking starts, and the tears slide down my cheeks. I go to the sink and turn the water on. Hoping the noise will drown out my tears.
I’ve fucked up. I’ve fucked up so bad. I want nothing more than to jump in the shower, let the water rinse me clean, and hide my weak-ass tears. I can’t do that though, because of my damn leg. So instead, I rip my shirt over my head and push my pants off, cursing Tiny, my stupidity, Michael, and the stupid ridiculous choices my fucked-up brain keeps making. I curse it all. I hobble to the shower, grabbing my shampoo and conditioner. I bend over the sink and wash my hair continuously, until all I can smell is the scent of strawberries. Even when the scent has permeated the air, I wash it one more time. Then I slowly sink to the floor, ignoring the way my hair drips down my back, and onto my skin.
I don’t know how long I’ve stayed like this. I guess it must have been awhile, because the next thing I know, Zander is wrapping a bathrobe around me and pulling me up. I should be worried that I’m naked. I should be worried that I appear weak and broken. Something about the way he wraps the robe around me and helps me up, feeding my hands and arms through the sleeves, while supporting my weight, tells me I’m safe. Maybe I’m just completely out of it. Could I be in shock? Surely, that’s the only thing that could explain why I would ever feel safe with a man.
“I was wondering when you were going to let it out, sweetheart.”
“I’m so stupid,” I whisper, like it’s a dirty secret. It might not be a secret, but I definitely feel dirty. I have held it in for so long, nothing will ever make me feel clean again.
“You’re just searching,” he says, applying pressure to my neck so I will hold my head down. Once I do that, he wraps a towel in my hair. Then, he picks me up and carries me out of the bathroom. I should argue, I should insist he put me down. I don’t. I lay my head against his shoulder and rest, as if I’m boneless. When he places me on the bed, I still don’t argue. The time to panic should be when he gets on the bed behind me. I don’t. He spoons me, gathering my body up close and pulling it back against him. His warmth reaches me, but I still feel so cold. This whole time, I’ve been crying. I feel like I could cry forever. He places a kiss on the top of my head and doesn’t say anything else. He just holds me, letting me cry. Eventually, I feel a shift on the bed, and then he’s reaching me some tissues, before settling back down behind me.
“You’re going to make yourself sick, Hellcat,” he rumbles, his head is somewhere over top of me. I’m burrowed against his chest, absorbing his heat.
“Nicole could die, and it’s all my fault,” I whisper my biggest fear.
“She’s not going to die,” he argues.
“You don’t know that,” I answer, wishing there was some way he could tell me for sure Nicole will be okay. I need to know with a hundred percent certainty that my best friend, the only person besides Ray I’ve ever cared about in my life, is going to be okay.
“You don’t know she’s not. Don’t borrow trouble, it comes knocking on its own too easily.”
I’m mad at him. Mad that he won’t tell me she’s okay. Mad that he won’t give me the words to make the fear inside of me go away. It’s not logical, but it’s the truth.
“You should leave,” I tell him. It’s childish considering everything he’s done, but if he can’t make Nicole better, then he’s just someone else to witness my guilt.
“Go to sleep Hellcat, tomorrow you can fight me. Tonight, let it go and let me take care of you.”
We lay like that in silence. Zander holding me close. I should put a stop to it, but there’s that feeling again… that sense of…safety. Sleep is coming for me, but I can’t shut my brain down entirely.
“I only wanted to save her…save her like I wish they had saved me…”
10
Crusher
Save her, like I wish they had saved me…Those words strike something inside of me that refuses to let go. I’ve replayed them for days. She needed someone to save her, and no one did. What does this woman have hidden? Why do I care so much? Why do I need to be the one she reaches out to? I have all these questions and very few answers.
I’ve been staying at Dani’s every night for a week. It’s been heaven and hell. She’s as prickly as a cactus, and I have to handle her with care. At the same time, she makes me laugh. We have a lot in common and every once in a while, she lets her guard down, and I see this other side to her. It’s vulnerable, soft, and sweet. It soothes me. Still, I’m enough of a sadistic jerk to admit I get off when she comes at me with her sharp claws and lethal tongue. There are times I want to grab her and show her exactly what I want her tongue for. I haven’t. Fuck, I’m getting blue balls holding back with her. Still, when she lets me see her vulnerable side, and her words come back to me, I hold back.
If something doesn’t give soon, I’m not going to be able to control myself much longer. Every night, she crawls into bed. Every night, she rubs that deliciously perfect ass against my crotch, and my dick weeps with need. I’ve been a walking hard-on since that first night. After a week of no relief, you would think my cock would get the damn message. It hasn’t.
Today has been the worst yet. All day Dani has been prancing around the house in these barely there shorts, a black tank top, and the bitch doesn’t even have a bra on. Does she know what she’s doing to me? Fuck, she probably does. It’s almost time for her to crawl in our bed. If I don’t blow off some steam, t
hen I’m not going to be able to lay next to her without my head spinning in circles and smoke coming out of my ears. I’ll need to be locked up in a padded cell.
With that in mind, I jump in the shower, doing something I haven’t done since I was a horny teenager. I take matters into my own hands. As the water beats down on my back, I lean against the shower wall and close my eyes. Immediately, Dani’s face comes to mind. I know everything about her face now. I know the scar under her chin, the full lips that smile ever-so-slightly when she thinks I can’t see. The way the glossy red lipstick she wears makes them shine and seduce me with just a glance—all of it comes to mind so easily. Yet, the thing that hits me the hardest are her fucking eyes. Eyes that set me on fire. They’re deep brown with a hint of yellow. Bottomless pits of feeling, that sparkle at me as if they hold secrets only I should ever know. Nothing in my life has heated me or torn me up like they do.
My tongue slides out against my lip and goddamn, I wish it were her lips I could taste. If I keep my eyes closed and concentrate on the water sliding on my skin, I can almost convince myself it’s her hands, her fingers, tracing my body, touching me slowly, and driving me crazy. I reach for her shampoo…strawberries. I never thought of that scent as sexy before, but it is. I pour a generous amount in my palm, and then slide my hand over my cock, applying a tight pressure in my grip, getting lost in the pleasure. I remember the feel of her ass, so firm and rounded to perfection, raking against my cock and brushing against my balls, begging me to fuck it. For the last week, all I’ve thought about is digging my hands into her sides, pulling her hard against me, and riding that ass, until I explode. Damn, she’d be so tight there, she’d come close to choking my cock. I picture it in my mind. Me, bending her over and fucking her ass, my balls slapping against her pussy, one fist wound tight in her hair, as I order her to play with her clit. My other hand would be full of her breasts, kneading and pulling on those taut nipples, bringing her just enough pain so her muscles would squeeze me even more.
