What About Reb

by What About Reb (retail) (epub)

  Had the Arthur business wrecked him then? Reb panicked. He found it hard to raise his eyes to look at her. ‘They didn’t touch him, I know. They didn’t do hey. Rosalind, what are you so pleased about?’

  ‘Your finger pointing to that champagne. That was too much.’

  ‘Did you giggle when I walked away? I thought you giggled.’

  ‘Yes, I giggled. You were like a wildman.’

  ‘Wild. It was desperation.’

  ‘And a lot to drink.’

  ‘Not all that much.’

  ‘Well, I don’t care about that now. I’m glad you did it.’

  Reb gave a nervous laugh. ‘Well, I thought. But what about this Arthur?’

  ‘Poor Arthur,’ Rosalind said. ‘He’s nice but he’s so I don’t know. So cautious.’

  ‘What do you mean by that, Rosalind?’ Jeezus, he was on a slippery path.

  ‘Well, you know. A bit boring.’

  ‘Then look, to pay back what I spoiled, what are you doing tonight? I know a lot of good restaurants right here in town.’

  Just then there was a buzz at the door. Rosalind seemed puzzled, even annoyed. ‘Tonight’s fine,’ she said before opening it. It was her mother and father.

  Her mother said,‘We were in the neighborhood so I said to Daddy oh. You have company.’

  After the introductions Reb stepped aside and secretly studied them. A mother gave you a nice glimpse into her daughter’s future. Missus Dyer was trim and even the lines radiating from the corners of her eyes were not unattractive. She and Rosalind began speaking of clothes and soon disappeared into another room.

  Mister Dyer stood there in a way that made it impossible to tell whether he had just arrived or was just leaving. He was balding and paunchy. Reb got it out of him that he ran the general supplies department for some state office. Was it motor vehicles? He was older than his wife, older than Reb had expected. Mister Dyer did not appear to look Reb over.

  ‘You follow the Sox?’ Reb said.

  ‘Not since I was a boy.’

  Another question settled it that he did not follow the Bruins either. Painfully Reb went through a list of sports until he hit on one that elicited a response. The recent marathon.

  ‘But that’s changed a lot,’ Mister Dyer said. ‘Used to be a Boston event when I was growing up. Now all these Finlanders and Japanese come over and a local man doesn’t seem to stand a chance anymore.’

  Like us in Korea with our sprinkling of Turks and New Zealanders, Reb wanted to say. Not giving the locals a chance. He scrapped sport and made a remark about the course of the war.

  ‘We’ve never lost a war, by god, and we won’t lose this one,’ Mister Dyer said. ‘I pray for our boys and I pray for the honor of our flag.’

  At last the mother was back, struggling with a suitcase. Rosalind, hand up to her hair, helped her with it.

  ‘Come on, Jack,’ Missus Dyer said. ‘Our little girl here has packed away all her winter clothes for us to take home and this thing’s just too heavy for me.’ Reb rushed to intervene and insisted on carrying the suitcase down to their car. On his return he told himself he had found out where Rosalind’s looks came from but little else. Except that, jeezus. Vinnie’s right what he says about Emilio. I’ve got a great old man.

  It was after ten that night when Reb and Rosalind got back to Symphony Road. They stood in the foyer waiting for the elevator.

  ‘I can tell you’re tired,’ Reb said. ‘When you’re tired your cheeks get all pink. Like two roses.’

  ‘Oh, don’t tell me that.’ Her hand went up to her face.

  ‘Don’t, Rosalind, I like it. And that only makes them redder. Will I be seeing you Tuesday night?’

  ‘Don’t you want to come up for a little while now?’

  ‘Next time maybe.’

  ‘I saw a light. Guess Bonnie and Dee are home.’ The elevator shuddered to a rest. Reb kept the door open and held her back. ‘Listen, I want to see you Wednesday night too. If you have any other plans cancel them.’

  ‘Yes,’ she said.

  His hand gripped her chin, his lips touched hers. It was brief and gentle, a promise.

  24

  The smell of new cut grass entered the open kitchen window. It was a warm May evening. Reb sat at the supper table with his mother and father.

  ‘You been home almost two weeks now,’ Soderini said. ‘You had time to think?’

  ‘About not putting that uniform on again, is that what you mean.’

  Reb had been thinking about nothing else, almost nothing else, for a solid week. His leave was up in nine days. He looked at his mother and sighed.

  ‘Going out tonight?’ Angelina said.

  ‘Later on, Ma.’

  ‘I thought so.’

  ‘Ma, your cooking gets better all the time.’

  ‘Go on. I want to hear you say that six months after you’re home from the service.’

  ‘By the way, Ribelle. You needing money?’ Soderini said. ‘Borrow from me, not from your friends.’

  Reb’s eyes up from the lamb. ‘Who told you I borrowed?’

  ‘Ateo and I was talking. Since you went away we owe you twentyfive dollars a week. I told him to pay back Vincenzo and Libero how much they gave you and straighten out the balance with you this week.’

  ‘Who said about Vinnie and Lee?’

  ‘Why? Borrowed from some others too?’ Soderini said.

  ‘No,’ Reb said. ‘But don’t worry, I can pay them back. It was only ten bucks.’

  ‘Twenty. Ten each.’

  ‘Okay, twenty. But I’m telling you, Pa, I’m not taking a cent for work I didn’t do.’

  ‘You don’t have to get yourself excited,’ Soderini said.

  ‘The money’s yours, Ribelle,’ Angelina said. ‘Take it.’

  ‘Nothing doing, Ma.’

  ‘When I was retiring didn’t you two insist I get the check every week?’

  ‘Come on, Pa. That was different, without you we’d be nothing.’

  ‘Okay, you don’t take it we bank it in your name just the same.’

  ‘Twentyfive a week?’ Reb said.

  ‘Wish it could be more,’ Soderini said.

  ‘Go ahead, Ribelle. Listen to your father. You take it,’ Angelina said.

  ‘Jeezus, Pa. I mean thanks, I can use it.’

  ‘Hey, don’t you dare get up till you finish this salad.’

  Reb laughed and ate the last of the salad out of the bowl. His mother cleared the table. He blotted his lips on a paper napkin and got up.

  ‘There you are, Ma. Bowl nice and clean. Well, Pa, guess we had a good talk for once, huh.’

  ‘Sit down and I’ll make you a cup of coffee,’ Angelina said.

  ‘Talk,’ Soderini said. ‘Who talked? We din say anything yet.’

  ‘You don’t ever give up, do you?’ Reb said.

  ‘Until I die.’

  ‘Look, Pa. Bad as the army is I think they let me have more peace than I get here sometimes. That’s no kidding.’

  ‘The door’s over there,’ Soderini said. ‘You want to go back tonight, go ahead.’

  ‘Emilio, that’s enough. I won’t stand for any more of that,’ Angelina said. ‘And don’t you smirk, Ribelle. What I said goes for you too.’

  Several minutes passed. The coffee was on. No one spoke.

  ‘Okay, Pa, I’ll be serious. When we were kids you never said anything to us about religion. You never told us we shouldn’t go to church and you never said we should. Now none of us go, we’re all atheists. You never forced us, right?’

  ‘We sovversivi don’t use force,’ Soderini said. ‘Only the example.’

  ‘What about now then?’ Reb said. ‘All along ain’t you been forcing me not to go back?’

  ‘I’m forcing you? I got a rope around your neck? I got a lock on your door? I’m trying to make you understand. I’ve argued with you before and I’m arguing with you now. Free discussion. You see the difference?’

  ‘I ge
t your point, yes. But we’re past that stage now. I’m miserable enough, Pa. Why do you have to make things worse for me?’ Reb heard the tremor in his voice and he was unable to look at his father.

  ‘We believe in something,’ Soderini said. ‘We grow up with a vision. We want change, we want a better world.’

  ‘You keep wanting to change me and I just want to work things out for myself.’

  ‘Sure, change you. That’s how it starts. All our lives we throw out the seeds hoping a few will catch. And if nothing catches in the kids our lives fall down. It’s a father’s disappointment. His failure.’

  Reb whipped around. ‘But jeezus, Pa. You can’t count yourself a failure because of me. This thing ain’t your fault.’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘No, listen. I see that all the things you say against the army are true. I believed you before I went in, Pa, and now I know even better so you don’t have to waste another breath trying to convince me. But this free discussion you mentioned. That’s okay between me and you maybe but you think the army’s gonna discuss anything with me? Like hell.’

  ‘Course not. All the time society is working against us. You go to school and they make you salute the flag. Say the prayers even. Oh, it’s a hypocrite country all right. They give you the freedom of religion cause the religion don’t matter anymore. But if they give the freedom to join the army or not, same as the religion, how many would go? They the ones using force. That’s why sometimes we have to fight them with force. They give us no choice.’

  ‘Even if I made it to Sweden I’d never be able to come back, Pa. That’s some price to pay for an idea.’

  ‘Not an idea, for a principle,’ Soderini said.

  ‘And you’d want me to pay it?’ Reb said.

  ‘It’s up to you. I named you Ribelle and that’s what I keep hoping for you. A rebel.’

  ‘You named Teo atheist too and I’ve seen coffee cups in his kitchen that say god bless our home on them. Do you pick on him?’

  ‘It’s the wife,’ Soderini said. ‘She’s a good person, only a little foolish, that’s all.’

  ‘Ma, how come you’re staying out of this. Nothing to say?’

  ‘I’m listening to you two,’ Angelina said. ‘Every word.’

  ‘Look, Pa, I don’t want to be a rebel. I just want to mind my own business.’ Reb wished he could tell his father what he had done. The floats. How he had tried.

  ‘That’s exactly the point,’ Soderini said, his voice rising. ‘Carpenter, dio cane, that’s your business.’

  ‘All right now,’ Angelina said. ‘That’s enough out of you both. Enough, do you understand?’

  Her voice had risen too, hard in a way Reb had never heard before, and it came close to breaking. He saw her struggling with it, momentarily confused, her eyes welling with tears. Then she laughed.

  ‘You go see Patsy one of these nights,’ Reb’s father said, calm again.

  On the light breeze that ballooned the kitchen curtains came the sound of a lawnmower from the next yard. It whirred and stopped, whirred and stopped. The three suddenly all burst into laughter.

  25

  Reb arranged it to spend a few of the last days of his leave alone with Rosalind at the beach cottage. They drove down early on a Friday morning and after the bustle of opening the place and picking up groceries they set out hand in hand, aimlessly, along a wide stretch of sandy shore. The mild air, the sky, the sea sparkled. Flocks of wading birds raced after retreating waves like clockwork toys. Reb had not yet told Rosalind he was a soldier. He would but he did not want to spoil this first day, this sheer peace. They rambled for oblivious miles.

  That evening while it was still light out they sat on the floor in front of a fire, feeding it driftwood, and sipped whiskey. When the night came down he made love to her on the sofa by the glow of the fire. It was endless and unhurried. Afterward they spoke in low voices, almost in whispers, and he remembered whispering to Alex about her in this same place on a night that now seemed years and years ago. Reb regretted having told Rosalind when they arrived that she could have a separate room if she wanted. She had said she did.

  The fire was cold. In his own room Reb lay in the dark with his shoes off. Two days before he had seen Livvy and told her about sabotaging the parade floats.

  ‘It’s a private act,’ his sister had said. ‘They’ll claim it was a structural flaw. At best they’ll say it was the work of some crank.’

  He wanted praise. She had shot him down. ‘Are you planning to publicize it?” Livvy asked.

  ‘I’d get ten years for each float,’ he said.

  ‘Then it was childish. They’ll rob your act of meaning.’

  The next day he’d gone to see Patsy and everything had been settled. Had the parade made the papers? GI sabotages Memorial Day exercises. Boston man implicated. Reb shrugged and began stripping. Wanting Rosalind he crossed the hall naked, opened a door, and stood by her dark bed. Her face stared up at his as though she expected him.

  ‘Can I move in there a second,’ he whispered. ‘I’m cold.’

  There was a bright sun and from somewhere in the blue beyond the window came a gull’s cry. Rosalind asked if she could bring him coffee in bed. When she came back with a rattle of cups and saucers and the smell of coffee he stood at the window looking out into the yard. He would tell her now.

  ‘Shouldn’t you put something on?’ she said.

  ‘Should I?’ he said.

  ‘You’ll be seen from the street.’

  He motioned her to join him. ‘See that tree out there? It’s a chokecherry. Think I should chop it down today?’

  ‘No, I don’t. Why kill anything?’

  Reb put his arms around her and squeezed her tight.

  ‘You’ll spill the coffee,’ she said.

  ‘Let’s get into bed with it,’ he said.

  He lay with his head on the pillow, their cups were emptied, and Rosalind stroked his hair.

  ‘You haven’t said a word since we left the window.’

  ‘Thinking, that’s all,’ Reb said.

  ‘About what?’ Her fingers stopped.

  ‘There’s something I haven’t told you,’ he said.

  ‘You had it on your mind all day yesterday, I could tell. What is it? That you’re engaged to be married. Maybe you are married.’

  ‘Engaged. That’s the word for it all right. Me and Uncle Sam.’ He propped himself up on his elbows. ‘Rosalind, I’m in the army. I’m home on leave. I’ve got to go back on Tuesday.’

  ‘Tuesday. Why didn’t you tell me before this?’

  ‘It didn’t matter before this. And anyway I hate it so much I didn’t want to talk about it. What are you doing?’

  ‘Hold me,’ she said.

  ‘You’re relieved.’

  ‘Have you been overseas?’

  ‘Korea? No. It’s not my war and I wouldn’t fight in it.’

  ‘How can you say that?’

  ‘Easy. I don’t believe in it,’ Reb said. ‘You don’t either, you just told me why kill anything.’

  ‘But you can’t go against your own country,’ Rosalind said.

  ‘Who’s against the country? I said the war.’ She said she had never looked at it that way.

  He told her that a few weeks earlier he had been made to hold a shotgun over three men while they raked a lawn and that woke him up. On the way to pick up the prisoners some of the other guards spoke of how they were just itching for one of their guys to pull something. They had laughed about it too as if they were going out to shoot rabbits and one of them kept saying a single step, a single step out of line, and he’d blast their fucking heads off.

  He used to go against regulations and make believe his prisoners were human beings, he said. One day he’d seen one of them slip a comic book out of his boot. Reb hadn’t been able to believe his eyes. Right out of his boot. The next day taking a couple of comic books from the barracks Reb stuffed them under his shirt and told his prisoners here, read the
se, you don’t have to hide them in your boots.

  ‘And what did they say?’

  ‘Say? Well, they were Negroes. They said, man.’

  ‘That’s all? Man?’

  ‘Yeah, that’s what Negroes say. Man. We got along fine after that.’

  ‘And what does your family think?’

  ‘I come from a good family, Rosalind. I wouldn’t ever admit to them I held a gun on a man. They hate war.’

  ‘I’ve never heard anyone say a thing like that before.’

  He looked her straight in the face. ‘And what do you think of things you’ve never heard anyone say before?’

  ‘I don’t know, I don’t know.’ Rosalind’s eyes went down. Reb held her by the wrists, gently, and under one of his thumbs he felt her pulse tripping. She shook him off and met his stare.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she repeated. ‘Show me another world and I’ll see.’

  There was nothing more to ask. Reb suggested that they get dressed and eat something and go for another walk along the beach.

  ‘There’s a lot I want to tell you,’ he said to her in the kitchen. Another world, those had been her words. Maybe some Sunday he would take her to an anarchist picnic.

  ‘About the army?’ she said.

  ‘No about my family.’

  ‘Yes, I want to hear.’

  ‘I have a father,’ he said. Then he added, ‘I have a mother.’

  Reb held the door open for her. He said, ‘Sometime I’ll tell you about them.’

  26

  Patsy’s pickup with a ladder and a couple of battered planks hanging over the tailgate jerked to a stop in the driveway. Springing around the corner Reb stepped onto the running board, unroped the ladder, and without a word he and Patsy raised it against the eaves of the house.

  ‘You father’s ready?’

  ‘Down the cellar getting the hammer and shears.’

  Soderini appeared, tools in hand, and climbed straight to the roof.

  ‘Go ahead, Ribelle,’ Patsy said. ‘Bring out the nails and five or six shingles. I’m holding the ladder.’

  ‘Careful up there, Pa,’ Reb said. ‘This thing looks half rotten to me.’