Love and Language

by Cheryl Dragon

  Like it or not, Nelson and Bridget were right. She owed it to herself and Ben not to set them up to fail because of a number or her messed up childhood. Tonight, she’d cook, and if he didn’t show, she’d find him.

  * * * *

  When Ben showed up that night, she was relieved and scared, but he was all business even as they ate pasta and she tried to make small talk. She’d even burned the garlic bread a little. That wasn’t a good omen.

  “Have you heard about your defense date yet?” she asked.

  “It’s tomorrow at ten,” he replied.

  “That’s soon. Are you sure you want to play tonight if you have that tomorrow? I understand if you need a good night’s sleep.” She wanted to be fair in life and in bed.

  His body language was tight and chilly. “I’ll be fine either way. You have to pass your drills first. You were very chatty today so maybe you didn’t study as well as you normally do?”

  Part of her was hurt, and part of her was turned on by his stern side. “I didn’t mean to be so harsh in my office. I just don’t want to be out there and criticized until we know what this is.”

  He finished dinner and put his plate in the sink. “This is a tutoring session.”

  He got his bag and pulled out nothing but papers.

  She put away her dishes and sat back down. No orders to strip. No blindfold. He was mad, and she was being punished. Maybe, he was like the rest the people in her life. When she wasn’t perfect, he’d be mean until she ran away or he left her.

  “You don’t want me naked? Blindfolded?” she asked and instantly wished she hadn’t.

  “If I did, I’d tell you. Let’s begin.” He sat across the table from her and drilled her on the phrases quickly.

  Every time she stumbled over one, he added two more. She wished she were tied up instead she fidgeted. Her eyes darted to him over and over, but he stared at the paper. The quizzing went longer than it ever had, and finally, she got them all correct.

  “Very good,” he said.

  She half-expected him to get up and leave right then. “Do you want dessert?” she offered.

  “No. Do you want to play or would you prefer we keep our relationship strictly professional from now on?” he asked.

  “If you’re not in the mood, it’s fine.” This wasn’t the Ben she wanted.

  “It’s part of the deal as a reward. You earned it, but I’m not sure you want me around.” He pulled the paddle from his bag.

  Her body relaxed. “Please, tie me up and spank me. I said things today I didn’t mean.”

  “Why?” he asked.

  “I’m afraid,” she answered.

  He moved closer and ran a hand over her cheek. Finally, she relaxed.

  “It’s okay to be afraid, but if you don’t tell me the truth, I can’t help you.” He kissed her.

  “I know you want to help, but you can’t fix everything. There are no guarantees. It’s just too soon.” She shrugged.

  He squared his shoulders and stared her down. “Stand up and strip. Bend over the table, hands behind your back,” he ordered coolly.

  “Yes, Sir.” She could breathe again as she obeyed him.

  When she bent over the table and gave him her hands, he tied them tightly. “What are you afraid of?”

  Fear fluttered in her stomach. “Not now, please.”

  “What’s your safe word?”

  “Red,” she replied gratefully.

  The paddle came down forcefully, and her body vibrated as a yelp escaped her lips.

  “Tell me,” he said.

  She couldn’t admit her feelings about him. It was too soon, and she’d scare him away. As would her sad history. She played it safe. “You’ll find a younger woman and dump me.”

  “No, I won’t. You know I want you.” He landed another swat, and she trembled.

  The pain was delicious, and his power made her feel free. But she couldn’t tell him what he wanted.

  “Tell me the truth.” He kissed the small of her back.

  He still wanted her. The intimacy hit her harder than any paddle could. A tear formed, and she licked her lips to hold back the truth. “If you knew the real me, all of it, you’d leave or send me away. Everyone does.”

  The paddle clattered to the floor, and he kissed her back and up to her neck. “Thank you.” His hands cupped her breasts.

  He didn’t ask why or push for details. Relief flowed through her as he pressed his body to hers. She turned her head and kissed him hard without permission.

  When he broke the kiss, he rolled off of her. “Go to the bedroom, and sit on the bed.”

  She obeyed quickly. Maybe, the hard part of the night was over. He untied her hands then tied her spread eagle to the bed. Watching him undress made her wet and anxious. They needed to be together however it worked. Forget the talking and drama. She needed the release.

  “Please, Sir. Fuck me!” she begged.

  He smiled and climbed on the bed, lying next to her. “I promise I will. I need you to know you’re safe with me. I’ve always told you the truth. I don’t want to leave you, but I can’t force you to share with me.”

  Her stinging ass would beg to differ, but she held her tongue. Ben wanted more.

  “I just want the truth, so I don’t step on wounds when I mean to play. How else can I avoid repeating something someone else used to hurt you.” He kissed her and wrapped his shirt over her eyes as a blindfold.

  She relaxed in the darkness with the scent of him so strong in the fabric. “You won’t hurt me like this. I’ve never had a bad Dom or anything. Play is where I’m totally safe.”

  He kissed down her neck and sucked her breasts. Moaning, she wasn’t going to give in and tell him stuff now. She’d enjoy what she was actually good at. He pinched her nipples and rubbed her slit.

  “Tell me who hurt you. Whoever it was.” He kissed her thigh.

  Pressing her lips together, she laid there ready to be his sex toy and submit in any way. Her lips, however, were sealed.

  Then she felt his weight leave the bed. She couldn’t see and refused to call after him. Maybe, that had been a test she’d failed. She shivered. It was cold now without his body heat. If he was the type who could push her too far too fast, she needed to know now. Trust was a huge issue for her, and she had to be sure. Loving him was scary. Alone was safe. Alone no one rejected her.

  Then she heard his feet padding on the wood floors and hope sparked in her. Maybe, it wasn’t over. She immediately dampened her hopes. Maybe, he was going to untie one hand, so she wasn’t left like this.

  Ben couldn’t leave her. He sat on the bed and saw the surprise in her face. “I said I’d never leave you. You don’t trust me.”

  “I do for this but—” Her speech was suddenly blocked by a ball gag.

  He hooked it on quickly and watched her frustration. “If you don’t want to tell me the truth, I don’t want to hear it. When you’re ready to speak, hold up two fingers on your left hand. If you want me to stop what I’m doing, hold up four on your right hand since you can’t say your safe word. Understand?”

  She nodded. Ben had no intention of doing anything extreme, but he wanted to verify. “Show me your fingers when you’re ready to speak.”

  She held up two on her left.

  “Good. Now in place of your safe word?”

  She gave him four fingers on her right hand.

  “Excellent.” Ben took his time and licked her all over. Kissing her full breasts, he took his fill of her body. He’d worked so hard to please her, get her off and tease her that she didn’t realize how much he wanted to explore her on every level. To love her.

  She moaned and wiggled her hips. He tested her wetness, and she pressed for more. The horny woman wanted sex. He slid his hand underneath and pinched her bottom until she winced.

  “I’ll let you talk if you tell me the truth. Then I’ll fuck you senseless in every hole. You have to trust me, Jane. We’re moving fast, but this is right.” He licke
d down her stomach and sucked on her outer pussy lips. She was shaved perfectly, and her pink slit begged for attention.

  Her frustrated noises told him she was holding out, but he checked her hands every few seconds just in case.

  “Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter, Jane. I was a wimp growing up. My brothers played sports, and I was studying languages and going to museums. I got beat up plenty by kids around the world.” He gave in to his own needs and licked her pussy.

  She lifted and, finally, held up two fingers on her left hand. He released the gag immediately and pushed up the blindfold. A tear slid down her cheek, and he kissed it away. “It’s okay.”

  She shook her head. “Not tonight. Tomorrow.”

  He pulled back. “Don’t play games.”

  “I’m not; I swear. I can’t talk about that and do this. One has nothing to do with the other. Please, I will tell you tomorrow after your interview. I’ll make lunch and bring it in. We can eat in my office for privacy.”

  He studied her eyes for a second and believed her. “If you back out tomorrow, it’s over. I can’t keep getting closer to a woman who won’t talk to me.”

  She smiled. “Most men don’t want to talk.”

  “Those are the wrong men.” He kissed her hard.

  “Prove to me you’re the right one,” she challenged.

  Ben could punish her or further addict her to him. He ran his tongue down and ate her pussy as if he’d never stop. Her gasps and moans were a relief after the silence. He hated gagging his subs. She tried to move, but he had her strung up tight. As he fucked her with his tongue, he groped her breasts.

  “Please, Sir,” she said.

  Now, he’d give her everything. He licked her clit until she came. Before her pleasure stopped, he slid on protection and filled her pussy. Staying deep inside of her, he took a second to get control. He wanted to tell her how he felt, but it wasn’t the time. They needed the play and not the emotional ties right now.

  Her hips lifted as much as they could, but he ground to her until she shook. Their mouths fused, and she whimpered as she tried to coax his tongue into her mouth. Finally, he gave in and fucked her hard as his tongue plundered her mouth, and his hands gripped her ass.

  Thrusting through one small release, he felt her body tighten again. Rubbing her clit, he watched her face contort in pleasure as she screamed. Her body arched to him and froze. Inside, her body kept working, squeezing his cock until he snapped. Fucking her hard, he lost control and held her hips as he climaxed with his face buried in her neck.

  “Thank you, Sir,” she whispered.

  He didn’t want to move, but he had to. Untying one of her hands, he slid from her and sat on the bed. “You’ll tell me tomorrow?”

  She nodded and looked away. Was she lying or had he simply broken the mood too soon?

  “Tell me about the piercing.” She touched it with her free hand. “Did it hurt?”

  He held her wrist. “I’ll tell you everything once you tell me.”

  “So no anal sex tonight?” she asked.

  He exhaled and shut his eyes. How could she be so eager yet so closed off at the same time? “You want it?”

  “Yes. You promised you’d fuck me every way.” She blushed.

  “You don’t deserve it yet. Maybe, once you’ve told me everything.” He’d punish her his way until she came clean.

  “Tomorrow. I don’t want to ruin tonight or for you to have all of this on your mind during your meeting.” She fell back in the pillows.

  “I can handle whatever it is. I’m not a child.”

  “I know that,” she said calmly. “I’m sorry you were bullied. You clearly overcame it well. I love how strong you are inside and out.”

  “I started lifting weights to build muscle. But I still like beautiful things. And I like controlling my sex life.” He ran a hand over her stomach. “I like who I am. I like you, Jane. I want to know all of you so we can move forward and make this real, not stolen time.”

  “I know. It’s just so fast and so intense.” She looked at the clock. “It’s not even ten. If you want to go, I don’t blame you. Sleep in your own bed before your meeting. You don’t need tension from me.”

  He knew that meant there was no hope of getting her to talk until noon tomorrow. “I’d rather stay if you want me to.”

  She stayed quiet.

  “Just nod if you want me to stay.” He couldn’t believe how stubborn she was being.

  Jane untied her other wrist and sat up to get her ankles, but her head never nodded.

  “Fine.” He grabbed his stuff and left the bedroom. Dressing, he couldn’t believe how infuriating she was! He had to be in love, or he’d lost his mind.

  This time there was no bluffing. He left.

  Chapter Seven

  Jane anxiously watched the clock and prayed Ben’s meeting went well. It was her slow day with one early class and office hours later. She’d made roast beef sandwiches and gotten the kettle chips she’d seen him eating around campus.

  How could she have let him go home last night?

  She went out to the common area of the English department and got another cup of herbal tea to calm her nerves. If she’d let him stay, odds were she’d have told him everything. He didn’t deserve that pressure or information before such a critical meeting in his career.

  Bridget walked up and poured herself another cup of coffee. “How’s it going?” she asked.

  Jane’s hand trembled as she shook her head as she tried to put honey in her tea.

  “Need to talk?” Bridget offered.

  “Nelson told you?” Jane whispered.

  Bridget led the way to Jane’s office, and Jane closed the door behind her.

  Jane sat down and wanted a glass of wine instead of tea. “Is there some secret dungeon on this campus?”

  “No. There’s no dungeon on campus. Nelson didn’t tell me anything. Ben has come to some of the social stuff, so if you’re closer to him than a friend—and it was sort of obvious you are—then it’s an easy jump to the conclusions that you’re a submissive.” Bridget shrugged and drank her coffee.

  Jane shook her head. “So you knew, and you played like it was all innocent?”

  “I dropped a few hints for you to tell me. Are things better with you and Ben?” she asked.

  “He wants me to tell him everything. He’s basically made it an ultimatum.”

  Bridget’s eyebrow rose. “That seems extreme.”

  “Well. I couldn’t tell him during play.”

  “What is so bad? I’m sorry. It’s none of my business. You know, if you were abused that doesn’t make you a sub. Ben isn’t new at this. He can handle it.” She nodded.

  Talking made Jane feel better, but her relationship still hung in the balance. “I know. I’ve done the research, and he’s certainly not my first Dom. It just never meshed before.”

  “Meshed?” Bridget repeated. “I need some clarification. What didn’t mesh?”

  Jane took a drink of her tea then a deep breath. “Before, Doms only wanted to play. I never had one who wanted it all. No relationships beyond sex. I knew I wanted more with someone, but before in big cities, it never happened. What I said I wanted on the blog, I want it with Ben and it almost seems possible.”

  “But you never dated someone you were playing with?” she asked.

  “No. I lived in big cities, and I could go to clubs. I’d play in private rooms, not the public areas. I love it here, but there’s no anonymity.”

  “That’s really lonely. The social stuff the group does is fun.” Bridget smiled.

  “I still can’t believe your guy is… I had no idea.” Bridget, her guy, Nelson and Ben. Jane definitely wasn’t alone.

  “Me either until I started that blog. He didn’t want to be public, either. Slowly, I got him to be more social. There are safe places to talk and let both sides of your life mesh. Just hanging out with people who understand is freeing.” Bridget pulled back her sweater. “I’m
not collared. Nothing extreme. It’s just my sex life that’s kinky.”

  Jane actually felt a little better knowing she wasn’t totally alone, even if it didn’t work with Ben. “I love him. It’s insane.”

  “Not really. It’s scary when it’s right, but he’s no stranger. There’s no rush to get married. Just tell him the whole truth.” Bridget checked her watch. “Sorry, I’ve got a class. You’re okay?”

  Jane nodded. “Thanks, I feel better.”

  “Okay, text or call me if you need to talk. I love test day. They work, and I’m flipping through wedding magazines.” She left with a smile.

  * * * *

  Noon came around, and she stared at the door. She should’ve gone to him instead of telling him to come here, but he shared an office. If the other guy was back, then her office had more privacy.

  At two minutes after twelve, he knocked. She got up and opened it. It felt silly, but she wanted to be closer to him with no desk in between them.

  “Hi, how’d it go?” she asked.

  He looked good as he walked in. Confident and calm. “Fine. They’ll meet and let me know this afternoon. Right now, you’re the one who needs to do the talking.”

  He sat and set his cell phone on the desk.

  “Still mad? I’m sorry about last night. I should’ve asked you to stay. I do have a stubborn streak. The truth isn’t very interesting.” She sat down and fidgeted with the papers on her desk.

  “Do I need to tie your hands to the chair?” he asked.

  “Might help.” She chuckled until she saw the real threat in his eyes. He’d do it. “No. I’m fine.”

  “Tell me about your family. Growing up,” he said.

  She frowned for a second. “That’s not really all that it’s about.”

  “Humor me,” he said.

  She shrugged. “Really it’s such a boring story. My dad left my mom when I was about seven. He didn’t like being tied down with a kid. Mom started dating and drinking. I tried to stay in my room when her boyfriends were around until she married one.”