Center of Gravity

by K. K. Allen

  My body locked up tight, and all hair stood on end. My eyes flashed as he slid the bartender a twenty, a whole eighteen dollars more than I would have given.

  I thought about pivoting to let him have it, to push away from him and walk off as I’d done earlier in the day, to do anything to be rid of the intoxicating scent of leather and mint that I already craved. Then I felt his chest press against my back, his arms set on the bar on either side of me, effectively trapping me. I should have hated being confined to so little space. I waited for the darkness to consume me. But once again, my body and brain didn’t work as they normally did when it came to Theo.

  My neck tingled as he leaned forward.

  “I told you not to come.” His words wrapped my bones and shook them.

  I had to squeeze my lids shut, my muscles tightening to quell the ache between my thighs. Only Theo could have that effect on me. To tell me he didn’t want me around then make me feel the complete opposite. Yeah, it was fucked up.

  “Anything for you?” the bartender asked Theo as he started to make my drinks.

  “Yeah, a scotch on the rocks. Thanks.”

  “Don’t forget your girlfriend.” My voice mocked with an innocence I didn’t feel, and when I turned to look at him over my shoulder, I regretted it instantly. The sight of him hit me harder than when he’d first walked in.

  His eyes were narrowed, his thick lips full and shiny, as if he’d just wet them. I had the immediate desire to take his bottom lip between my teeth and suck.

  “I knew you’d be jealous.”

  The way he said it, so cocksure and angry, made my chest burn and my mouth turn up into a smile. “Trust me,” I purred. “I’m not jealous.”

  His eyes flashed. “Bullshit.”

  “Why would I be jealous? Because you’re here with your boss, pretending to be something more. Yeah, I’m not buying it. And I’m not impressed.”

  He tipped his head to the side, tightening his jaw.

  I breathed out a laugh and turned to face front. Just then, the bartender slid my drinks across the bar. I lifted them over my head and turned in the tight space between the ledge and Theo, locking gazes with him one last time. “Enjoy your night. Excuse me.”

  With that, his arms fell. He took a step back, and I walked away.

  CHAPTER 23

  Theo

  Lex stood with Reggie against the rooftop rail, sharing a laugh, a smile, probably a private joke. I couldn’t tear my eyes away all night, not even when Winter began showing signs she’d had too much to drink. The leaning, the pawing, the giggles that manifested in cackling sounds. Lex’s laughter was much sweeter. Lighter.

  I looked at my watered-down scotch, the same one I’d been nursing for the past hour. That was about how long Lex and Reggie had been chatting. I couldn’t help wondering if their conversation was any good or if Lex was just being polite. But the look on her face didn’t tell me she was just being polite. It said the opposite, in fact. What I saw was deep conversation, heads bent low, and smiles. Too many smiles.

  Lex excused herself, finally, and weaved her way through the thin but still-growing crowd toward the bathroom. I stood, hoping to catch her again and not knowing why. The terms were clear. My promise to keep things professional was still fresh. But it was more than that. In the little time I’d spent with Lex, I’d grown somewhat attached. She was interesting and funny. I was allowed to feel those things, even with her. Was it crazy of me to want to salvage whatever friendship had been building between us?

  Except I fucked up whatever chance I had at friendship today. I should never have taken my frustration with Winter out on Lex. But I didn’t regret asking her not to come. I knew what the night would be like the moment Winter invited me here and then the crew. I’d said yes for business and only that. But Winter wanted to make it more, so she made it appear like more. By arriving together, flirting, clutching me at every opportunity.

  “You can’t limit me.” The shriek came from Winter, who was sitting where I left her on the couch. “I’m paying the goddamn bill, and we want another round of shots.” She stamped her foot and slammed her ice-filled glass on the table. “Now.”

  The waitress had her tray against her chest and her eyes wide while searching the crowd. I jumped in, knowing Winter enough to see the signs were there. She was done for the night. “Sorry, ma’am. I’ve got her. We’re ready to sign.”

  Winter growled at me and punched my leg. Fuck, that hurt. I sat down, wincing at the bruise she’d surely caused. I leaned into her ear. “Let me take you home.”

  “But I’m having fun,” she whined.

  I looked around, noticing that most of the eyes on the rooftop were on us. God, I hated that moment. She’d asked me to accompany her, and I couldn’t exactly tell her no. She was my client, and kissing ass was part of the gig. But the thrills of kissing Winter’s ass, in particular, had begun to wear off.

  Is this what Winter has become? Messy. Emotional. Unreasonable. And she was too goddamn rich to care.

  The bill came minutes later, and I watched as she scribbled her name as if she were doodling in the back row of a high school English class, taking her time, giggling. I was running out of patience.

  “Let’s go, Winter.”

  She was wobbly when I helped her stand. “I need to pee,” she whined.

  Cursing under my breath, I veered her toward the bathroom and gestured for her assistant to help. “Can you go with her? Just make sure she doesn’t fall over.”

  Winter shoved me away and clung to Alison. “Thanks, boo,” she purred while nuzzling Alison’s cheek.

  Alison gave me a big eye roll and nodded. “Nothing I haven’t done before. We’ll be right back.”

  With all the ruckus, I’d forgotten Lex had just walked into the bathroom until she came out, her neck twisting as she looked behind her. She seemed absorbed in thought, her expression a mixture of confusion and worry, completely unaware of where she was going. I stepped slightly left so she was now moving directly into me.

  Just like the first time I spotted Lex Quinn, I was ready for the impact. “Oh,” she said as she slammed into me. My arms wrapped her upper body, then I waited until she steadied herself before I let go.

  She looked up, becoming flustered when she saw it was me. “I’m sorry.” She raised her hands from my chest as if they’d burned her and placed them at her sides. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

  “It happens.” I refused to look away even though she already had.

  Her face twisted again, then she stared at me, pointing behind her at the bathroom. “Is Winter okay? She didn’t look too good.”

  “She had a few too many. She’ll be okay.” My gaze traveled the length of Lex’s attire. Did she realize how stunning she was? In a room filled with LA’s finest, Lex shone above them all.

  She peered up with a frown, doubt flickering across her features. “It didn’t seem like it in there. Maybe she should go home.”

  Her concern was cute. Maybe that was what drew me to Lex. She was different from the others—genuinely sweet in such an innocent way. I wanted to bottle her up to ensure she never lost her innocence. Maybe I’d splash a dose or two on me when needed.

  “We’re leaving when she comes back from the bathroom.” As soon as the words flew from my mouth, I realized what I’d said and how it probably came across. “I meant to say—” I jumped in to correct myself. “I’m going to help her downstairs, to her car, and then I’m going to go to my own home. By myself.”

  Lex gave me a pinched smile. “I told you before, I don’t care. I was just concerned about Winter.”

  This little game Lex was trying to play was starting to grate on my nerves. “You’re not a very good liar.” I bit into my bottom lip, waiting for her face to change color. It had become a mission, to turn her cheeks every shade of red imaginable.

  “I’m not lying.” She tilted her head, her eyes filling with a fiery challenge. “But I am curious why you do it. Pretend the
way you do.”

  The clarity of her insinuation was flawless. It relaxed something in my chest and cleared a passageway for me to breathe a little better. If it were any other pupil of mine, I wouldn’t put up with them speaking to me with such disrespect. But knowing Lex saw through the bullshit was refreshing.

  I wanted to confess everything that came to mind—the fact that I didn’t like myself very much anymore and that pleasing the industry to follow my dreams had made me sign away my soul. That at some point along the way, I’d lost that deep inner desire to free my soul through dance, and it wasn’t until I saw her dancing the other night that I’d found it again.

  Lex might have even listened to it all without judgment, because that seemed like the kind of person she was. But before I could say anything, a commotion came from the bathroom. A few seconds later, Alison and Winter emerged from the open doorway.

  “Shots!” Winter screamed, tripping forward and taking Alison with her.

  I couldn’t possibly have gotten to her in time. Not with Lex already standing in front of me. Winter hit the floor face-first. I heard the smack, and I prayed it was just her hands. But when she pulled her face from the floor, her eyes dazed and halfway rolled into her head, I saw the blood.

  “Shit.” I darted from Lex and dropped to the floor.

  Alison slid out of Winter’s grip and kneeled beside me, her hands moving over her mouth in shock. “Oh my God.”

  Stanley and Marcus, Winter’s bodyguards, ran over as the crowd gathered around. They each took an arm and picked Winter off the ground. Marcus cradled her and started toward the elevators. The crowd made it hard for them to go anywhere.

  “Everybody move back,” Stanley boomed as he cleared the way. “We need access to the exit.” He looked around at the stunned, unmoving faces. “Now!”

  That did the trick.

  Everything was happening so fast. Alison and I followed them into the elevator and listened to Winter’s sobs for the entire ride downstairs. By the time we made it to the sidewalk, sirens were already approaching. I didn’t know anyone had called them. We could have driven her, but with someone like Winter in our possession, they probably didn’t want to take risks.

  As she was being hauled onto the stretcher and hoisted into the ambulance, Alison faced me. “Maybe you shouldn’t come.”

  My eyes darted between the ambulance and Alison. “Why?”

  “You know Winter. She won’t want you to see her like this. Stan and Marcus will be with us. And you’ve got rehearsals in the morning.” She placed a hand on my shoulder. “Go. I’ll handle this. And I’ll give you updates.”

  Maybe I should have fought to go with them. Even if I hadn’t, I could have driven to the hospital myself. I must have debated it for the next forty-five minutes. But I couldn’t make myself actually get in my car and drive—anywhere. My eyes floated in the direction of the roof.

  I wouldn’t go back upstairs. I couldn’t imagine facing our peers, who were most likely already whispering about the events that had just gone down. But I wanted to see Lex. Maybe if I got her alone… Then what? What good could possibly come from getting Lex alone?

  I didn’t stop to answer my own question. I pulled out my phone and found the number of the only person I felt like dealing with at this moment. I just hoped she’d respond.

  “Need a ride home?” I texted.

  Five minutes passed before I saw the bubbles by her name, notifying me that she was responding.

  “Be down in a minute.”

  CHAPTER 24

  Lex

  I didn’t tell Amie and Reggie I had left until Theo and I were already on the road. When I sent the group text, I told them I’d called a ride service and was already in bed. The fact that being with Theo forced me to lie should have been enough for me to change my mind and have him take me home. But as my gaze slid to his profile, his jaw locked tight, arms stiff on the wheel, and his focus set forward, I knew I couldn’t leave him and whatever internal battle he was fighting.

  I didn’t ask where he was taking me. I didn’t really care. It was nice to be free from the heavy city traffic for once, to feel the warm breeze whip against my hair and cheeks, to know there was more to this place than secret clubs and dancing. Before us stretched miles of road lined with city lights and palm trees and beach. There were rural areas and parks. And thirty minutes into our drive, I started to see hints of the most beautiful beach, set below a sparkling, moonlit ocean.

  A familiar pier came into view, illuminated by multicolored lights, its reflection bleeding into the water below. A Ferris wheel towered above the smaller rides and buildings. And even at this midnight hour, foot traffic was heavy throughout. The faint sounds of laughter and screams came from the game booths and rides, and something about the entire scene made my cheeks lift in a smile.

  Theo parked and looked at me. “You ever been to Santa Monica Pier?”

  My eyes followed the giant wheel as it circled. “No. I haven’t left LA since coming here.”

  He put the top up and stepped out of the Ferrari. I followed and met him at the hood. “I don’t like the crowd, but I put up with it for the pier. Walk with me?” He held out his elbow, and I eyed it for a second, contemplating whether I should or shouldn’t before sighing and taking it.

  We walked through the crowd, past a burger place and an arcade, along with the typical mouthwatering carnival vending booths—caramel sour apples dipped in crushed peanuts, rainbow-colored shaved ice, pink and blue cotton candy, freshly dipped corn dogs. I wanted it all. I laughed at the screams coming from the slowest-moving roller coaster I’d ever seen and smiled at the giant multicolored Ferris wheel.

  We continued down a dock lined with white lights, the Pacific wrapped around us. Couples strolled along, holding hands and stopping to peer over the rail into the ocean or pausing for a meal at the umbrella-covered hot dog stand. Music from the main pier played through a speaker system and followed us past a Mexican restaurant as we made our way to the final section of the last wharf.

  The pier was loud, and traffic was heavy, but quiet filled the air between us. It was sacred and intimate, and I felt selfish for not asking about Winter. When I was with Theo, I was present in a way I’d never been before. In a way that sent a quiver through my bones and rattled my chest.

  When we paused at the end of the pier, our hands on the ledge in front of us, Theo finally spoke. “This tour means a lot to me.”

  His voice caught in the wind and whipped through the air so faintly, I thought I might have made it up.

  “I’ve always thought a concert like this would be the pinnacle of my career, an opportunity few are given. But with that attention comes a responsibility to not fuck it up.” He glanced at me, sending chills through my body. “I’ve already fucked up in so many ways, Lex. There are things that can’t be undone—mistakes I’ve made, people I’ve hurt along the way. It’s easy to get caught in the game of it all, but I don’t want to do that with you.”

  I swallowed, fighting my subconscious not to dissect his words and make more of them than I should. “You don’t have to pretend with me.”

  His eyes softened. “You’re good. Too good. You were right about me. I am a jerk. I’ve used people my entire career to get where I want to go, but after this tour, I’m not sure what’s left.”

  My heart squeezed. “What do you mean? You can’t stop dancing.”

  He looked up and chuckled lightly. “Nah, I could never stop. Not even if I tried.”

  My brows bent in. “Then why would you be unsure of what comes next?”

  “I don’t know if I want to keep doing this. Schmoozing, partying, giving my soul to this industry when no one gets it. Dance saved me once, but it’s killing me now. Rashni, the owner of Gravity back in the day—he was my mentor—he took me under his wing and introduced me to the dance world, a community I gave my everything to. What he did for us kids, it meant something. I feel like I’ve tarnished the gift he gave me.”


  My pulse raced as I leaned in. The jigsaw puzzle of Theo was clicking together in my brain, and I was starting to understand him, at least a little. “Have you ever thought about taking a break from the scene and maybe going back to your roots? You do have a gift. A beautiful gift, and what you do with it is still within your power. You haven’t tarnished anything. You’re just at a crossroads.”

  His neck twisted as he looked at me. The seriousness in his gaze warmed my cheeks.

  “You’re beautiful, you know that?”

  I tore my eyes from his and focused on a light reflected in the water. “You shouldn’t say things like that.”

  “Why? It’s true. And you told me I didn’t have to pretend with you.”

  My gaze clicked back to his, our smiles spreading at the same time. “You’re ridiculous.”

  “But you like me.”

  I swallowed. “I shouldn’t.” My honesty felt surprising out in the open like that. “This tour means a lot to me too. It’s everything, actually. My first break. I understand the need to play by the rules to get what you want. So whatever you’re doing with Winter, I don’t judge you for it.”

  His head rolled back in clear frustration, and he faced me. “I’ve never cared before. I do what it takes to make my clients happy. It’s the only life I’ve known since I was a boy trying to get noticed by women choreographers. But I saw the way you looked at Winter and me today. I saw the disappointment in your eyes, and it makes me hate what I’ve become.”

  I felt shaky. “Why? I’m just a dancer.” I said the words without believing them. I would tell him whatever he wanted to hear to dissolve his pain. “I meant what I said earlier.”

  His hand cupped my cheek, and I turned into it instinctively. My heart beat fast, and I closed my eyes.

  “You’re not just a dancer, Lex.”

  I opened my eyes.

  I shouldn’t have opened my eyes.

  His head dropped down, his thick lips merely inches from mine. His eyes closed. And I knew any moment I would be kissing Theo. Blood sped through my veins at lightning speed. Wasn’t that everything we had said was wrong? Career-ending wrong? I couldn’t do that to him, or me. I slid my cheek to the right, feeling his mouth graze my skin.