Vegas or Bust: An Aggie Underhill Mystery

by Michelle Ann Hollstein

  The woman smiled. “How sweet!” she said. “Are you here to get married?”

  “Um, yeah,” he said, pushing his long brown bangs out of his eyes and over to the side. “We’re getting married tomorrow morning.”

  “And you need a wedding ring?”

  “Oh, um, no,” he said. “We have a wedding ring. I just want to surprise Miriam with a gift after the wedding.”

  “That’s so special,” the woman said. “What do you have in mind?”

  “Um, well, I’m not sure,” he said. “But I want it to be something special. I want Miriam to treasure it.”

  The woman batted her black lashes at him. “Well,” she said. “My fifth husband bought me some lingerie that glowed in the dark. We have some that says Viva Las Vegas in hot pink.”

  Jack’s brow crinkled up while he thought about it. Miriam probably wouldn’t appreciate glow in the dark underwear. “I don’t know. That’s not quite what I had in mind.”

  “It was real special when my Henry gave me my lingerie. I still have it to this day.”

  “Um, I was thinking more like a bracelet.”

  “Oh, okay,” the woman said. “In that case, we have a lot to choose from.”

  Jack squatted down again to get a better look at the bottom shelf. There was a sign advertising the items on that shelf as clearance.

  “Here let me pull those out for you.” The woman unlocked the case and slid out the display stand with an assortment of bracelets. “Charm bracelets are two for the price of one. They’re sterling silver.”

  Jack’s eyebrows shot up. An idea just struck him. He knew exactly what he was going to do. A charm bracelet with a beautiful dangling green heart caught his eye. “Can I get one with a green heart charm? And I’d also like one with a red heart.”

  “Sure. You want one bracelet and two charms? One red and one green?”

  “No,” he said, “two bracelets. I want the green heart charm on one and the red on the other.”

  “Your fiancée is a lucky woman. Two bracelets.” She found the two charms he’d pointed out and attached them before putting the bracelets in separate boxes.

  “Oh, no. They’re not both for Miriam. One is for my mother. I can present them both with a gift at dinner after the wedding.”

  The woman nodded. “Your fiancée and your mother must be really close.”

  Jack nodded. “Not yet, but they will be. I just know it.”

  ***

  Both Aggie and Betty waited in line to check in at the hotel while Roger took off in a hurry to search for a restroom. Aggie noticed that after the long hike from the parking garage to the hotel he seemed to be in extreme agony. He hadn’t mentioned that he had to go to the restroom or that he’d been holding it for the last couple of hours, but Aggie could tell. She’d known for quite some time. And she also knew that he was too proud to admit he should’ve gone in Amboy. So she didn’t bring it up. She didn’t see any reason to embarrass him or start an argument.

  “I wonder what type of rooms they have reserved for the wedding guests,” Aggie said while she fumbled in her large hot pink pocketbook for her wallet and ID.

  “When Roger called Miriam to RSVP, she told him that it was two guests to a room. And that each room had two queen beds,” Betty said.

  “That was very nice of them to pay for our rooms. That must’ve been pretty costly.”

  “Roger said that they got a good deal with a group rate for having a wedding here. You know Roger, he really knows his deals.”

  “That’s true, dear.”

  “Yoo hoo! Aggie! Betty!” called a high pitched voice from behind.

  Suddenly the little hairs on the back of Aggie’s neck leapt to attention at the sound of the familiar grating tone. She hadn’t expected to be hearing that voice. Chills and nausea struck simultaneously.

  This has to be a bad dream, she thought. She traded her horrible houseguests for another horrible person. She wasn’t sure which situation was worse. Against her better judgment, Aggie turned her head to look behind her.

  “Oh, look,” Betty said, excitedly patting Aggie’s arm. “It’s Anita! I guess she was able to come after all!”

  “Oh, God,” Aggie grimaced, “I see that.”

  “I wonder if her husband is here with her. Hi, Anita!” Betty called, waving.

  “Doubt it,” Aggie said, beneath her breath.

  Anita cut through the line of people waiting behind Aggie and Betty. “Don’t worry,” she said to them so they wouldn’t think she was trying to cut in front of them. “I already checked in. I just want to see my dear friends.”

  “It’s so nice to see you,” Betty said, giving Anita a hug. “I didn’t think you were able to come.”

  “Albert, bless his heart, told me to go to the wedding without him. He’s going to stay home and hold down the fort,” she said. “You know how he is. Always thinking of me.”

  Aggie and Betty nodded. Aggie tried hard not to roll her eyes. More than likely Albert just wanted Anita out of the house and away from him. The two of them weren’t happily married, even though Anita put on a good show. When they were all on the cruise together, in a moment of weakness, Anita had let it slip about how horrible her marriage truly was. Even though Aggie couldn’t stand her, she didn’t wish her to be in an abusive situation either.

  “Now, where’s my hug?” Anita asked Aggie, holding her arms out. “Don’t be shy! We’re family!”

  Aggie forced herself to smile and quickly hugged Anita and patted her back.

  “Where’s Roger?” Anita asked, looking around. “I don’t see him.”

  “Restroom,” Betty said.

  “Here I am.” Roger stepped into line, surprising them. “Looks like I made it just in time. We’re next to check in. What are you doing here?” he asked Anita. “I thought you weren’t going to be able to make it?”

  “Roger!” Anita gave him an overly vigorous hug. “It was a last minute decision. It’s so nice to see you! This is so exciting! Just like old times!”

  “Old times?” Aggie asked sarcastically and then dreaded having said it out loud.

  “Yes,” Anita said. “Just like on the cruise. I’ve already informed them at the counter when I checked in that you and I were rooming together. Isn’t that fantastic! We’ll be bunkmates again. Except this time we’ll be rooming on land.” She giggled at her own wittiness. “Get it? Bunkmates like shipmates…”

  Aggie sucked in a deep breath. She balled her hands into tight fists and bit her tongue. She was doing everything in her power not to pummel Anita right then and there. She had no intentions of ever sharing a room with her again.

  Noticing the red color creeping up Aggie’s neck and flushing her cheeks and the evil daggers shooting from her eyes, Betty quickly jumped in. “How about you and I share a room?” she offered.

  Aggie let out her breath with a sigh of relief.

  “Us?” Anita asked. “Aggie, are you okay with that? I just thought…you know, I figured you weren’t going to invite Officer Tom Wood, and even if you did you’d have separate rooms, of course, since you’re not married and all… unless…oh my…is he here? Were you two planning a romantic night?”

  “No, Officer Tom Wood did not come with me!” Aggie said through gritted teeth. She was suddenly seeing red. She wasn’t quite sure what to say or how to react to the insinuation, or to the wanting to share a room with her. All she knew was that she was tempted to bop cute little Anita with her blonde pixie haircut, really hard upside the head with her pocketbook. And what bothered her most was that she and Officer Tom Wood had just started dating, but casually. Aggie wasn’t in a hurry to jump into a relationship and Tom knew that. Her husband, Lionel, had passed away a few years back, and she hadn’t quite healed from his passing. And Officer Tom Wood understood her feelings and was willing to give her the time and space that she needed to heal. There was no commitment between the two of them, even though Aggie couldn’t stand the thought of Tom seeing anyone else. S
he tried not to ever think about it.

  “So, you won’t get jealous if Betty and I share a room? I wouldn’t want that to ruin our friendship. You know, with us being family and all.”

  Aggie’s mouth dropped open to reply to Anita, but Betty came to the rescue beating her to it, which, of course, was a good thing because nothing nice was going to come out of her mouth. Aggie felt that Anita was a royal pain in her backside. And she was just about to tell her how much of a pain she was.

  “Of course Aggie doesn’t mind.” Betty gently laid her hand on Anita’s shoulder. “I thought it’d be nice for us to get to know each other better. Besides, I don’t think I can stand sharing a room with Roger. He snores something fierce,” Betty lied, trying to come up with a plausible reason for Anita not to share a room with Aggie. She didn’t want to take a chance on Aggie smothering Anita with her pillow in the middle of the night. “I can never sleep when we share a room.”

  Roger shot her a look. “I do not snore.”

  “Yes, you do.” She over emphasized her nod, hoping he’d go along with the story. She scrunched up her eyes and shot him a look back. “It’s awful.”

  Crossing his arms over his chest, Roger harrumphed. But for once he didn’t argue with her. He knew what she was doing and he felt it was better to let Betty share a room with Anita rather than he get stuck sharing a room with her. Even though he and Aggie didn’t always see things eye to eye, and he didn’t have much of a problem with Anita, he’d much rather bunk up with Aggie any day. He could see where Anita could become annoying.

  Aggie had a sudden flashback from the Mexican Riviera cruise. She cringed as she remembered the loud racket that poured out of the tiny, petite Anita while she was sleeping. Her snoring resembled that of a roaring chainsaw buzzing down trees in the forest. She wondered if Betty knew what she was in for.

  “Oh, it’s our turn,” Roger said. A woman at the checkin counter was waving them over to her station.

  ***

  “Can you believe that the valet parking was free?” Roger grumbled, pushing the button while waiting for an elevator. They were standing in a hallway with three elevators in front of them and three behind them.

  “I took a cab from the airport,” Anita said. “So I didn’t need to worry about parking.”

  Roger scowled. “I have a good mind to go get the car and make them park it. Get our money’s worth. All that driving around was for nothing.”

  “We didn’t pay to park,” Betty said, as the elevator to their right dinged and opened. A mob of people poured out of the lift as Aggie put her hand on the door to hold it open. They got into the elevator with five other people. Betty pushed the button for the 14th floor and two other people added other floors. “So how are you going to get your money’s worth if we didn’t pay for it?”

  Roger twitched his mustache. “For one, we wasted a bunch of gas looking for a darn parking space. And we all know that gas isn’t cheap especially when filling up in California. And I can’t imagine it being much cheaper here. Then we almost got into a car accident because of some morons who were probably ticked off over having to find a place to park, too. And then they made us walk almost a mile for nothing. They should’ve had signs up saying that the valet parking was free. That’s false advertising. They don’t want us to utilize the valet parking!”

  “Oh, you’re right,” Anita said. “My, oh my! They should’ve had signs. My Albert would’ve been livid if he had to walk that far.”

  Aggie rolled her eyes. Her Albert sounded like a real gem. She wondered why Albert was never around. He never even bothered to fly out with Anita to visit the family. Aggie had only ever seen him once and that was at Everette and Sarah’s wedding. And even then, he wasn’t very sociable. It had been obvious that he didn’t really want to be there but only showed up because of their son getting married. She was positive that Anita forced him to go.

  “I should complain,” Roger grumped.

  “Yes, you should,” Anita encouraged while nodding her head in agreement. “It’s not right.”

  “It’s an outrage!” Roger continued, getting more and more worked up. “Especially when I had to go to the bathroom!”

  “Oh, that is awful!” Anita cooed. “I’m so glad I took a cab.”

  “If you had to go that bad you should’ve said something,” Betty reprimanded, not wanting to hear anymore of her cousin’s complaining. “I’m sure Aggie would’ve pulled over somewhere. It’s not the hotel’s fault that you were being stubborn and held it for so long. I mean, you could’ve gone to the loo with us in Amboy.”

  “I didn’t have to go then,” Roger lied. “Sometimes it just hits you.”

  “Oh, yes,” Anita said. “That happens to me sometimes. Just out of the blue. And, of course, there’s never a bathroom around when you need one.”

  Roger scratched his head and looked up at the television monitor that was built into the ceiling of the elevator. To avoid making eye contact with Betty, he focused on a scantily dressed Britney Spears who was singing and dancing around on stage in a music video. The elevator just made its second stop. Two passengers got off and five more piled in.

  Just then Aggie’s cell phone began to buzz. Digging around in her pocketbook she found the phone on the bottom beneath her wallet. The screen lit up with a photo of her grandson, Shawn, wearing a cowboy hat and Sarah’s name beneath it. Aggie had taken the picture of Shawn decked out in his cowboy costume when the family went to see the Old West show in Pioneertown where Roy Rogers, Gene Autry and several other actors had filmed Old Western movies.

  “Hello,” Aggie said, dreading to hear what Sarah had to say. But she figured the least she could do was answer the phone call, even though she’d rather avoid it. After all, she was the one that sent the houseguests from heck over to her daughter’s house.

  “Hi, Mum.” Sarah’s voice sounded tired.

  “You all right, dear? You sound exhausted.”

  “I am,” she said. “I just called to let you know that Linda and Jill arrived safely. We just got back from having dinner at Ruby’s Diner.”

  “That sounds nice, dear.” A few weeks ago, Aggie and Betty drove down to Camp Pendleton to visit and they all ate lunch at Ruby’s Diner. It was located at the very end of the Oceanside pier. It was a nice clear day and they were able to stare out at the beautiful Pacific Ocean as they ate.

  “Yes, you’d think so, wouldn’t you?”

  Aggie gnawed on her lower lip. Sarah sounded aggravated. “Uh, oh. What happened?”

  “Jill took off with some creepy looking skater guy she met on the pier and hasn’t come back yet. Linda is beside herself.”

  The elevator went up two more floors and stopped. One person got off the lift and three more people squeezed inside.

  “Is she all right?” Aggie asked. “Have you heard from her?”

  “Linda called Jill’s mobile and Jill said that it was love at first sight.”

  “Well, that doesn’t sound so bad,” Aggie said. “After all, Jill is an adult. She can take care of herself.”

  Sarah lowered her voice to almost a whisper. “Mum, Linda's hysterical because the guy looks like he lives on the streets. She’s hoping Jill will meet a man with money. Not some homeless druggy. She wants Jill to meet a Hollywood director or something like that.”

  Aggie rolled her eyes. “I’m not surprised.” The elevator finally reached the 14th floor and she, Betty, Roger, and Anita pushed their way off.

  “We’re down this way,” Anita told Betty while making a sweeping motion with her hand. “There are ten rooms on this floor reserved for the wedding guests. We’re just a few doors down from the room that Aggie and Roger are sharing. Well, five doors to be exact.” Anita and Betty waved goodbye and walked down the hall to their room in the opposite direction of Aggie and Roger. Aggie silently mouthed the words, see you soon.

  “Are you still there?” Sarah asked.

  “Um, yeah, sorry, dear. We’re getting off the lift.
We just checked into the hotel.”

  “Linda’s a mess, Mum. I don’t know what to do about Jill.”

  “Well, I say good for Jill!” Aggie said, the phone still pushed to her ear. “She needs to get out from beneath her mother’s thumb. It’s about time she made her own decisions.”

  “Mum!” Sarah squealed. “With a homeless man?”

  “I doubt he’s homeless,” Aggie said. “And even if he is, that’s her decision. Besides, I think Jill ran off with him on purpose just to irritate her mother. She’ll be back.”

  “What am I supposed to do with Linda in the meantime? The woman is driving me crazy! She won’t stop blubbering!”

  “How am I supposed to know what to do with her? Tell her that a lot of wealthy film producers look like they are homeless to keep people from knowing their identity.”

  “Urrr!” Sarah growled. “Mum, that’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m pregnant and hormonal. I don’t need this.”

  “I’m sorry, dear. I’m sure all of this will blow over once Jill comes home from her date.”

  “If she comes home,” Sarah said.

  “She will.”

  “Oh, by the way, you’re still coming over for Thanksgiving dinner, right?”

  “Oh, Thanksgiving,” Aggie said. “Yes, right. When is that?”

  Roger found their room number and slid the keycard into the door, unlocking it. He then took hold of Aggie’s suitcase from her and dragged it into the room along with his.

  “Thursday,” Sarah said. “This Thursday. And you need to be here. I’m not going to suffer through this holiday with Linda and Jill without you.”

  “I’ll be there,” Aggie promised. “And I’ll bring Roger and Betty with me. Oh, and perhaps Tom. It depends on his work schedule.”

  “Make sure you have extra room in your car because you’ll be taking Linda and Jill back with you.”

  “What?” Aggie’s voice jumped an octave. “Sarah, I can’t hear you.”

  “Mum, knock it off. I know you can hear me.”

  “We must be losing reception. Sorry, dear.”

  “Mum?”

  “Sarah, I’ll try calling back when I get service.” Aggie tried her best to make a static sound and then hung up.