by E. F. Jacks
Pressure lifts from my chest, because she hasn’t told me she loves me, and also because she hasn’t said she doesn’t.
How could we ever make this work? If I’m honest with her, at the very least she’ll hate me and won’t speak to me again. And if I disappear without a reason after we end our journey and I’m finished with my assignment, it’ll break her heart and she’ll think I used her for sex. Either way, it sucks because I’ll hurt Pauline.
I wrap my hands around the back of her neck. Then I hold her gaze and touch my lips to hers, at first with tender care, and then with more strength. I break our stare to nibble her along the side of her neck and sweep my mouth across her breasts. As my lips move back up to her face, I can feel her mouth widening into a satisfied smile below my kisses, and it’s the most amazing thing ever.
“What’s so funny?” Pauline asks.
I stop and look at her, try to process in my mind how I could have offended her somehow. “What do you mean?”
“You were smiling.”
“I was?” I feel my brow draw in.
“Yeah, you were grinning, Ellis.”
“You were, too.”
“I know. You’re making me feel awesome.” The tiny smile that brightens her face bursts into a full beam.
“I want to and will do anything I can for you, Pauline. Both in and out of bed.” I dislike making a promise I might not be able to keep, but I’m so taken with Pauline I’d promise her anything to see that smile again while I’m kissing her. My hands walk up her waist, and she stops me before I begin kissing her neck.
“Ellis, what happens to us when this ends?” She slides off me.
I’m unable to lift my hands off her, and my fingers stroke her smooth, warm back. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t not touch her. I’ve always got to have her again. “You’re asking about where our hike will take us to next?”
Pauline shakes her head and sits up with her legs folded at her side. “What happens after the whole trip’s done? Would you like us to see each other? I mean, after we help the police take care of everything.”
I take my hands off her and sit next to her on the soft fleece bag. From the way she put it, she’s giving me a way out. But I do want to know her and love her after this, although I value her too much to promise her something I can’t honor. “I want to see you.” I leave out but I can’t.
While I may not know my entire past, I already know how I feel about her. I started out not liking her at all. Now I’m beginning to love everything about this girl. I’ll deal with the consequences to take Pauline home, and given our low supplies, the quickest way out is forward.
All I care about is getting her home safe. Forget the plan. Heck, forget the money, though that won’t be as easy, since the amount is so high and I won’t be paid in full until the end. All of that is easier said than done. Because how will I avoid them?
Chapter Sixteen
Pauline
Ellis dresses before me, and as I get ready for the day, I hear him kicking dirt not far from the tent. He mentioned it’s necessary for him to hide the remnants of the extinguished fire to disguise the signs that we’d been here overnight.
Last night, and this morning, was intense, and I’d been so surprised and overjoyed he let us take things that far both times. There is no word except otherworldly to describe the sensations he made me feel throughout.
With Ellis’s looks and skills, he’s the kind of guy who, if I had brought him to meet my old friends on campus, the ones I’d lost after the scandal, they’d be envious and thrilled for me at the same time.
Though I’d needed what Ellis gave me, I hope he feels the same way I do after.
My intention of being here to honor Sam seems like a distant memory, and I haven’t thought much about the reason why I’m here ever since the trip took a very dark turn. All I can think about most of the time is what’s going to happen to Ellis and me, who or what we might encounter, and if we’ll survive.
The cab driver was right when he said he wouldn’t dare go past a certain distance out of the city. I should have gone back with him. But if I had done that I wouldn’t have met Ellis.
Sam’s the reason I went on this trip in the first place, and I’m going to finish it for her no matter what. I owe her that much.
I’d made love to Ellis more than once, but a tiny part of me still wonders if I can truly trust him. The tour company told me next to nothing about him. What I do know has come from my own discoveries like the journal and from him directly, and he hasn’t offered up much. And people lie. Like how I’d lied to Seth about my career, and he’d lied to me when he said I could trust him with anything.
An electronic pinging gives out from my bag. Honestly, it sounds like my phone. I haven’t been able to get a signal since before I started this insane trip. I turned it on this morning to see if it would work, and of course it didn’t work, and I must have left it on.
I race to my bag and unzip it. The phone’s cool in my hand, and there’s half a bar remaining at the top of the bright screen.
A long text pops up from Mom, sent days ago, although I’m just receiving it now. My eyes scan it fast, because who knows how much longer my phone will work.
After Sam’s death, Mom didn’t want me putting myself in danger, but Frank had been more onboard with the whole isolated wilderness trip thing, and it was only with his help that she changed her mind.
Tears blur my eyes at the sight of Mom’s message and her quirk of not using punctuation when she texts. She and my life back home seem so far away out here.
Sweetie Hows it going Ur friend Evan came by He heard about Sam Hes handsome U never told us about him
Evan who? Mom hasn’t been taking Sam’s death well. Is she capable of making someone up?
Now that I have this signal I have to notify the police. Who do I dial out here in Canada? Do they even have 911? I shout for Ellis. As I scroll through my emergency contacts, the signal bars fade and vanish.
“Damn it.” I slam my phone to the tent’s floor.
Ellis raises the flap and his face appears at the other side. “What’s going on in here? I heard you yelling. Are you ready yet?” I try hard not to think about how good he looks in his worn dark jeans and wrinkled t-shirt.
My teeth gnash together. “Yes, I’m ready. What’s going on is my phone was working for a second, and now, nothing.” I hold my chin higher and point at the phone on the ground. Tears burn my eyelids.
In silence Ellis steps over and picks up my phone. His eyes roam across the screen, then he passes it to me. My grip is so tight on it my fingers ache. But I have to squeeze something. Without something to hold onto I’ll break down.
“You’re lucky to have gotten a signal for a second around here.” Ellis’s voice takes on a gentle tone.
I turn my side to him, drag my hands over my face and speak through my fingers. “I’m not lucky.”
His hand slides up my shoulder and squeezes. “You’ll be okay, Pauline. I’ll take care of you.”
“What about you? Who will take care of you?” I angle my head to look up at him.
His hand falls off my shoulder, and he heads back outside. “I’ll take care of myself.”
And I don’t doubt he will.
“That’s not all.” The sound of my voice breaks his stride before he exits. “There was a text from my Mom.” By itself, the sentence sounds ominous.
Ellis continues on his way outside the tent, then ducks back and pauses at the other side of the entrance.
“She wanted to know how I was,” I say.
Ellis’s face tightens with worry. His eyes dart from mine as he speaks. “Will she be concerned if you don’t answer her?”
“I don’t think so. She knows phones don’t work out here, so she won’t necessarily be suspicious if I don’t write back.”
“That’s too bad.” The pleats in his forehead are even more pronounced, and the sparkle in his eyes diminishes.
So that exp
lains it. He was concerned that Mom wouldn’t know, not because she would.
“Ellis…” But by then he’s already disappeared to somewhere outside.
Chapter Seventeen
Pauline
A few minutes after Ellis breaks down the tent, we leave our campsite and head for the trail, with our gear strapped to our backs and Ellis bearing the heaviest weight. Overhead the once clear sky darkens fast as clouds bunch together.
A gentle breeze cools my face. “Do you think it will rain?”
Through Ellis’s coat his shoulders move up. “Who knows? It’s not like we can get the forecast out here.”
He’s been grouchy ever since we left camp. Yesterday, and earlier this morning, he couldn’t keep his hands off me, and I couldn’t keep mine off him.
His sexy hair flops to one side. I’d give anything to run my hands through it again, though something tells me I better not, at least not at the moment. Instead of bringing us closer together, our intimacy is distancing him from me. Or something else is bothering him and he won’t tell me what.
I look up at the sky and murmur, “I was just wondering.”
But I can’t resist getting to the root of the problem. When someone’s mad at me I need to know why. I can’t accept they just are.
“Ellis, why are you being so strange with me?” There’s no way I’m asking him if I did something wrong, because as far as I’m concerned, I haven’t. Raindrops cool my skin and dampen the ground as an earthy smell infuses the air around me.
His tone is strained, and he doesn’t quite look at me when he speaks. “I’m concentrating, Pauline. I’m concentrating on getting you back. And I’m looking out for you. I’m sorry if you think I’m acting different.” His step slows, and for a moment or two, I think he’s going to stop and face me. Then his pace quickens again. “I probably am acting a bit different, but it has nothing to do with you.”
I can’t sigh in relief, because I’m not sure if I believe him. There’s an edgy undercurrent in his voice, and internally I question whether he’s being truthful with me. The thought explodes from my mouth. “Is there something you’re not telling me, Ellis?”
He stops in his tracks and whips around. I’ve touched a nerve, and now I have his full attention.
I slow down and take a step back downhill, stumble when I bump into a rock at the side of the trail, then right myself.
The way Ellis’s entire body, from his legs to his forehead, tenses frightens me. Anger, or confusion, casts a shadow over his eyes.
“What are you suggesting, Pauline? That I have something to do with all this? It’s more likely you’re a part of it, why, with this trip originally being for your kid sister…”
With my arms pressed to my sides and my hands clenched, I walk forward so fast my feet pummel the dirt.
“How dare you drag Sam into this! You know nothing about who she was. You couldn’t understand her, because she wasn’t a moody, I feel so sorry for myself person like you. Come to think of it, you also know nothing about me, not that you told me much about yourself. So, what secrets are you hiding, Ellis?”
By the time I’m done reprimanding him, my teeth are clamped down and I’m waving my fist in his face.
Ellis’s tone is cool. “I know about you, Pauline. I know you aren’t as innocent as you’d like to think. I know we slept together. I know you like to think of yourself as some kind of victim in the situation with your ex-boyfriend, and I also know you lied to him.”
My body tingles with panic from my head to my feet, and my palms are moist within my scrunched hands. Ellis is steering the quarrel into a place where I don’t wish to go now—or ever. “That’s—that’s—that’s no excuse for what he did.” I’m too hot, and I doff the rain jacket Ellis gave me, knot it around my waist. Tears stream down along my cheeks and burn my skin.
Ellis slants his face away from my gaze as though he’s ashamed he brought me to tears. When he turns to me again, his look has softened. I’m motionless as he steps close to me and gathers my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. Unsure whether I’m in for another scolding or an apology, I turn my cheek to him. I hate arguing when a downpour’s probably going to happen any minute. I look up at him. Even with the sun masked by clouds, his eyes glow with a rich shade of green within their gray color. His eyes are almost too ethereal to belong to a man.
Our situation is far from normal. I’m here to honor my late sister, and he’s being paid to take me along the way, and now we’re just two people out in the middle of freaking nowhere trying to beat a stalker. We have to get along no matter what, if we want to survive.
My chest rises as I take a deep breath. Ellis’s scruffy cheek sweeps against mine. What’s he doing? Our lips almost touch. Then they do. He’s kissing me, and his lips are soft, eager, and determined. After everything that’s been said between us, he’s actually kissing me. I don’t get Ellis. Sometimes he acts as though he can’t stand me, and then he goes and does things like this.
And though it hasn’t been long since we last made love, I want his hands on me again. All over me. I want our clothes off. We can’t very well do that out here in the woods, can we? From the starved look in Ellis’s eyes when he pries his lips from mine, his arms around me, he’s thinking the same thing.
My eyes drift to behind the trees. Could we set up the tent somewhere within there and get out of the rain, and…
Ellis’s gaze follows mine, and he shakes his head. My head falls onto his chest, and then he releases me from his embrace, grabs my hand. We keep walking. Inquisitive looks pass between us, as though we’re playing a game of who will apologize first. Otherwise we’re silent.
Finally, he exhales. “I’m sorry.”
I look over at him and smile. “I am, too.” His grin takes up half his face as he holds my hand tighter. “Ellis, do you think we could—”
“Shh.” Ellis twirls me behind him, away from our side of the woods, and blocks me from something.
“Ellis?” Then I hear it. A noise in the trees to our left. I remain alert with my eyes open and pray it’s not a bear. Or whoever’s been after us.
The rustling sounds loud and deliberate, more human than animal like, as though whoever’s out there wants us to hear it. Someone moans within the woods, and the noise is definitely not an animal’s. It’s a masculine voice. My fingers grab onto Ellis’s sleeve.
Ellis’s hand touches his gun as he raises his voice to a shout. “Who’s there?”
“Oh, thank, God. Help me, please.” Ellis shoots a cautious glance toward the man’s cries and pulls me back as I walk forward to check it out. “We don’t know if we can trust him,” he reminds me. “This is a little odd. You don’t run into other people out here very often.”
I give him a short nod and then fall back to his side. Before I left for this trip, I viewed myself as a strong person, but I feel safer by Ellis’s side, with him standing between me and whoever’s out here. He’s a heavy-duty kind of guy, and with his towering, solid figure here with me, my vulnerability is impassable.
Ellis’s hands grip my shoulders and I look up at him as though on command. “You stay right here. I’m going to see what he wants. Don’t move. If something happens, anything, run. Keep following this path.”
The stranger cries again from within the trees. His tone is faint, high and pleading. “You still there? Please, help me.”
A knot of nerves builds up in my stomach. Could what Ellis said happen? Could something happen and I’d be on my own? How would I make it out of here? Despite my fears, I gather the meager amount of courage I have left and nod up at him.
Ellis’s hand, once hovering over his gun, has it drawn and ready. He aims the gun in front of him as he treads to where the man’s been calling us from. I hold my breath as Ellis enters into the woods opposite me. His blue jacket is covered more and more by the tree branches with green needles, then he disappears.
As I wait for him, I’m cowering so close to the pine tree
s alongside the trail that the sharp needles scratch at my neck. If I took a step back, I’d crash into the bushy trees behind me.
I straighten my posture and regain my calm. Nothing’s going to happen. Nothing can happen. Because if it does, I’m screwed.
I’m not sure how many minutes are passing, but after what feels like an hour—I’m sure it’s just a few minutes—Ellis speaks in a low, smooth voice to someone within the forest. He sounds calm and not at all frightened.
Already, I’m breathing more easily. I stay planted where I am and strain to hear them talking. They’re introducing themselves. I’m less trusting of people after the incident at school. It doesn’t sound like Ellis is in trouble, but after everything that’s gone down, I can never be sure about anything in these woods, as much as I would love to believe the guy Ellis is talking with has nothing to do with the recent incidents.
Boots crunch the ground and, dragged out of my musing, I jump. Ellis’s tall frame comes into view as he exits the woods alone, with his gun no longer drawn.
“Everything okay?” I ask tentatively. “Who were you talking to?”
He’s silent as he gestures for me to follow him back through the trees.
I throw my hands up in the air and then stride toward him “What is going on?”
“There’s this guy. Says he’s all by himself. He shook a tree branch when he heard us coming.” Ellis pauses.
“I don’t like the sound of this.”
“It’s okay, he’s—Well, you’ll see.”
“Ellis.” My voice rises to a whine.
He lifts his arms and motions for me to calm down. The rain has subsided, leaving behind a cool mist. My breath fogs the air as I walk behind him into the forest.
I skirt around pine tree after pine tree. “How much longer?”
“Soon.”
Within a small copse, a young guy is seated next to a squat tree with branches and leaves that look like tangled green wires. The guy’s back is curved against a large boulder behind him, and his leg is propped up on a bulky hiking backpack set in front of him. He’s missing one boot. I spot it next to him.